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I never told a guy i slept with I had herpes and now he wants to sue me.

lkd26

By lkd26
in Trust and Relationships

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greywolf Community Regular

greywolf

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Yes, they could.

 

Fair enough. Don't think it's hold up in court though. Because where would it end? Could I sue if someone gave me chickenpox? Or what if I shook someone's hand with herpes whitlow and then contracted herpes? Could I sue because he did not disclose that he had herpes before shaking my hand?

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DN Grand Master

DN

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Fair enough. Don't think it's hold up in court though. Because where would it end? Could I sue if someone gave me chickenpox? Or what if I shook someone's hand with herpes whitlow and then contracted herpes? Could I sue because he did not disclose that he had herpes before shaking my hand?
She knew herpes is a communicable disease through having sex and decided not to tell him despite the risks. Precedents show that that is actionable in law. You can argue that perhaps it shouldn't be but the fact remains that it is and plaintiffs in similar cases have won damages. I don't quite see what is left to debate.
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Honey Pumpkin Mentor

Honey Pumpkin

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She knew herpes is a communicable disease through having sex and decided not to tell him despite the risks. Precedents show that that is actionable in law. You can argue that perhaps it shouldn't be but the fact remains that it is and plaintiffs in similar cases have won damages. I don't quite see what is left to debate.

 

Exactly. 18 pages of the same message, telling the OP that she's going to lose in court (any lawyers from her jurisdiction here?), and the OP hasn't been back for a while. Maybe this thread is done

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greywolf Community Regular

greywolf

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I think the only way it could really work out is if someone could prove that they did not have herpes before they were with someone. Since most people don't bother to get checked, and since it would be probable that they has herpes already considering that 60% of the population already has it, then it would be very difficult to prove.

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greywolf Community Regular

greywolf

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I'm sure both their sex lives will be ripped into - and when her past ones go 'oh yeah, she told me she was exposed to it' .... Job done.

 

It's really not that simple. Usually the circumstances where lawsuits have been made have to do with marital infidelity, celebrities, and other people with money. Outside of that, there are very few cases that have held up in court.

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DN Grand Master

DN

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I think the only way it could really work out is if someone could prove that they did not have herpes before they were with someone. Since most people don't bother to get checked, and since it would be probable that they has herpes already considering that 60% of the population already has it, then it would be very difficult to prove.
I don't think that is true. Remember that her intentions and actions are what counts. She admits to having herpes, she admits she didn't tell him. The burden of proof would now shift to her to prove he had it before and knew he had it for his action to fail.
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DN Grand Master

DN

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I think it is not in anyone's interest to suggest that someone who does what the OP did is not at risk of having to pay heavy damages to the victim of their actions. It's quite clear that there are precedents for legal action, and you don't have to be a lawyer to look them up. No one, including the OP, is served by minimizing what happened or suggesting it isn't important and dangerous.

 

This isn't a witch-hunt - it is trying to show the OP and anyone else reading this thread that they have a responsibility in law and you don't have to be a lawyer in her jurisdiction to use some common sense. To suggest otherwise is akin to those people who used to suggest it was no big deal to drive under the influence.

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Honey Pumpkin Mentor

Honey Pumpkin

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I think it is not in anyone's interest to suggest that someone who does what the OP did is not at risk of having to pay heavy damages to the victim of their actions. It's quite clear that there are precedents for legal action, and you don't have to be a lawyer to look them up. No one, including the OP, is served by minimizing what happened or suggesting it isn't important and dangerous.

 

This isn't a witch-hunt - it is trying to show the OP and anyone else reading this thread that they have a responsibility in law and you don't have to be a lawyer in her jurisdiction to use some common sense. To suggest otherwise is akin to those people who used to suggest it was no big deal to drive under the influence.

 

Sure - but here we are, nineteen pages, OP hasn't been here for some time. The consensus is clear, it was wrong, she was very clearly in the wrong, she should seek legal advice, she might well be liable for damages. I think the people who are telling the OP how very wrong she is has have had very ample opportunity.

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DN Grand Master

DN

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The problem is that other people don't seem to be getting it and suggesting that the consequences might not be much - which, from a public service viewpoint, needs addressing when other people might be misled into the same sort of action.

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Honey Pumpkin Mentor

Honey Pumpkin

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The problem is that other people don't seem to be getting it and suggesting that the consequences might not be much - which, from a public service viewpoint, needs addressing when other people might be misled into the same sort of action.

 

I'm not aware that anyone has done that. It seems to be a thread of amateur lawyers going at it, which doesn't seem to be helpful. EVERYONE has agreed that she was totally in the wrong, and that she made a big mistake. The advice should be to seek a lawyer now.

 

I'll bow out of this thread - clearly I'm in the minority of not understanding what this thread is achieving.

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Ellie2006 Mentor

Ellie2006

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EVERYONE has agreed that she was totally in the wrong, and that she made a big mistake. The advice should be to seek a lawyer now.

 

Well, no, everyone has NOT agreed -- the OP herself has continuously disagreed that she was in the wrong; rather she has repeatedly given excuses, and has tried to justify her actions by placing blame on the other party. Hence the 19 pages of people trying to reiterate that she in fact has done something wrong.

 

What this thread is trying to achieve is to clarify to the OP that she is in the wrong and should take responsibilities for her actions, rather than getting indignant that the guy had the audacity to threaten to sue and to expose her herpes status to her family.

 

And from what I've seen, people HAVE been advising her to consult a lawyer because the guy definitely HAS a strong case against her and comparatively, she has a weak case if she decides to counter-sue.

 

And yes, they did use a condom so maybe this will work in her favor. HOWEVER, a condom has been known to break in more than one occasion so it's definitely not foolproof.

 

So even if using one may help her in in her case, it will not exonerate her for her wrongdoing, which was NOT telling this guy that she has been "exposed" to a "mild" strain of herpes. Even telling him that, not that she has herpes but she's been exposed, would have been enough, because all that ensued afterwards would have been a result of two consenting adults, each with a clear understanding of the other's STD status.

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lkd26 Rookie

lkd26

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There is much more to my case than i have said and i'm not about to go into all that detail here. I asked for the purposes of understanding exactly what i would be dealing with. I'm still innocent until proven guilty. You all are not my jury.

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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There is much more to my case than i have said and i'm not about to go into all that detail here. I asked for the purposes of understanding exactly what i would be dealing with. I'm still innocent until proven guilty. You all are not my jury.

 

Have you taken our advice and searched for a lawyer for yourself? You can defend yourselves to us all day, but ultimately, no, we aren't your jury. There might be a real jury in your future so you should go to a lawyer and get some real legal advice for New York state.

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annie24 Grand Master

annie24

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I did not admit anything.

 

lkd, do you want to argue with us all day?? I mean, based on the information you gave us (and I know we don't know the ENTIRE story) this guy has a potential legal case against you. So it is in your best interest to go find an attorney and figure out your options.

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