robertpaulsen Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 ok im getting a bit freaked out lately with my girlfriend going out. i trust her completely but the thing is when i go out with her or even if im just present when she is out she dresses real respectable ..like she doesnt show much off. but when she goes out with just her friends she dresses very revealing like sometimes her dresses or skirts barely or dont cover her . i hate mentioning it because i dont want to feel like her dad who and i hate being made feel that way.even tonight she was supposed to come up to me before she went out so i could giver her money and i havent seen her much the last few days with work and university and she tried to avoid coming in and acted weird but i was in my pjs and she came in with a skirt so short that when she walked away from the front door didnt cover the bottom of her ass. recently she even got a brazilian wax and her strip was quite long as she hadnt waxed in a while, well she wanted me to trim it but then we just didnt get time, but after she went on a night out and the next morning i notice she had it trimmed perfectly? i think maybe she likes the attention when she goes out im not sure, i just think she gives out a bad vibe to other men in my opinion. need some advice i dont have anyone to speak to. Link to comment
Ms Darcy Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Talk to her. Tell her your observations and how you feel about it. Has she always dressed like this when she's with her friends? Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Did she dress like this before you got together? Link to comment
QSP Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 I feel for you. If it hurts you speak to her about it. Dont force her to do anything she doesn't want to. Just speak to her nicely about it. Link to comment
robertpaulsen Posted February 8, 2012 Author Share Posted February 8, 2012 she doesnt always dress * * * * ty, but since we got back together in setember it seems to be just when she goes out with her friends. i try bring it up but she goes on the attack straight away and i feel stupid. like i wouldnt mind if i was there as i could make sure she didnt get hassle and at least i think she was dressing like that for me not for strangers Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Do you want to be going out with a woman who manicures her vag and wears clothes to show it off when she goes out? You've already found out how she's going to react if you say anything about it. I think all you can do is accept that's who she is and either stay with her if that's what you're into or leave and find someone more compatible with you. Also, I think if you were to go with her and intervened with any guys 'hassling' her she'd attack you for that - I believe it's the hassle that she wants. Link to comment
robertpaulsen Posted February 8, 2012 Author Share Posted February 8, 2012 thing is she is a sweet girl and i love her and trust her. i just fear that she misses the attention she got when she was single and it scares the * * * * out of me. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 What are you scared of exactly if you trust her? Link to comment
In the Dark Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 My ex was the same and could never figure it out. Why dress prim and proper while with me but then dress so revealing while out with your friend? When I chose the exact same garments for her to wear that she does while going out with her friend she said to me "I would look like a tramp if I dressed in those clothes". Link to comment
dazednconfuse Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 she wants the atention. trust me. she is going out of her way to make other guys look at her. i tink that is a sign she would cheat. if she truly wanted only you, she would hate the idea of guys looking at her. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I think she enjoys the male attention. She is clearly dressing up this way to get male strangers to look at her. I sincerely believe that most women wouldn't dress ridiculously provocatively if things changed overnight and they got ZERO male attention when they went out. I really think very few women would continue to dress to that extent. I don't buy the "It makes me feel SEXY!!! and that's why I do it!" Girl, no one feels sexy when they are trouncing around with their vagina hanging out, in 6'' heels. You do it for the guys, admit it. OP, I bet if you watched her when you went out, you would see that she enjoys the attention. Do you really want to be with someone like that? Link to comment
robertpaulsen Posted February 9, 2012 Author Share Posted February 9, 2012 My ex was the same and could never figure it out. Why dress prim and proper while with me but then dress so revealing while out with your friend? When I chose the exact same garments for her to wear that she does while going out with her friend she said to me "I would look like a tramp if I dressed in those clothes". same thing has happened when i suggest some thing for her to wear ?? like i said i dont mind if she dresses like that if im with her because im 6'4 and 220 so no one is gons try grope her or anything. im gona lay down the law later on, i hate worrying evertime she goes out when i go out of my way to make her feel comfortable when i do. Link to comment
pl3asehelp Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I think she enjoys the male attention. She is clearly dressing up this way to get male strangers to look at her. I sincerely believe that most women wouldn't dress ridiculously provocatively if things changed overnight and they got ZERO male attention when they went out. I really think very few women would continue to dress to that extent. I don't buy the "It makes me feel SEXY!!! and that's why I do it!" Girl, no one feels sexy when they are trouncing around with their vagina hanging out, in 6'' heels. You do it for the guys, admit it. OP, I bet if you watched her when you went out, you would see that she enjoys the attention. Do you really want to be with someone like that? Agreed. And really, OP, I'd bet my life if you went with her it would spoil her fun. The last thing she'd want you doing is intervening when guys give her the inappropriate attention she wants. Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Why do girls wear sexy clothes despite the fact they are in a relationship with a guy? Here are my reasons - YOU are not giving her attention she needs and not giving what she wants. ALSO, you make her feel she's your chore or your inconvenience in life. For example, when your girlfriend makes plan with you and constantly going on about this and that not even asking her how her day was or it has always been about you, she's going to think about the relationship and decides to go for what she wants and needs from another guy or when she dresses nice, you don't go up to her and hug her and say "My god, you look hot/beautiful/cute." Etc etc. Maybe you did. Then it's - To feel good about herself. Maybe she wants to feel sexy and look * * * * ty at the same time. Sort of like a guy. In the summer you take out your luxury car with a awesome convertible. Then in the winter, you drive your pickup truck because it does the job. - IF it's not about feeling good about herself, WATCH OUT. SHE'S CHEATING ON YOU. Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Dude it's simple, her friends dress like that when they go out, so she follows suit to fit in. I mean when girls go out for drinks, clubbing, and whatnot they see it as their time to let loose. They dress trashy and act obnoxious, it's nothing to really worry about unless she goes out alone dressed like that. Link to comment
In the Dark Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Dude it's simple, her friends dress like that when they go out, so she follows suit to fit in. I mean when girls go out for drinks, clubbing, and whatnot they see it as their time to let loose. They dress trashy and act obnoxious, it's nothing to really worry about unless she goes out alone dressed like that. And there is a catch if they feel that it is pointless to dress like that when they are around their bf or in the OPs and my past case, say that what they wear when out with their friends is trashy to them all of a sudden and reluctant to wear. What they wear does indeed catch the attention of other men, and because the OP and I are men, we also like seeing them dressed like that as well but now....there is no privilege of them wanting to dress this way under their own wants. Possibly because it is pointless as they already have/had us so need to dress that way anymore? Link to comment
BrianH46 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 And there is a catch if they feel that it is pointless to dress like that when they are around their bf or in the OPs and my past case, say that what they wear when out with their friends is trashy to them all of a sudden and reluctant to wear. What they wear does indeed catch the attention of other men, and because the OP and I are men, we also like seeing them dressed like that as well but now....there is no privilege of them wanting to dress this way under their own wants. Possibly because it is pointless as they already have/had us so need to dress that way anymore? I don't think it's that either but I do know on special occasions such as our anniversary and whatnot my ex will dress really sexy for me, a super tight dress that was skin tight around her body it was so short she had to pull it down every 3 second, add in some sexy high heels and no straight or gay man could keep their eyes off of her(she was that drop dead gorgeous), but she always whispered to me that she feels * * * * ty for dressing like that. Don't get me wrong my ex always got dolled up when she and I went out but never to that extent. The way I see it is when girls go out it's like Halloween for them, in a group setting out clubbing I think dressing * * * * ty doesn't have the same stigma. My ex loved dressing up sexy when we had sex too, we actually had a whole closet full of outfits lol so I'm pretty sure it's not that they don't want to impress you but rather just don't wanna be seen as a * * * * . Link to comment
Snny Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 One word for you ENA: HATERS GONNA HATE! 8) I'm going to be honest: when I go clubbing with my friends, I dress provocative. I dress in conservative clothes most of the week and I like to spice things up on a weekend night off. Wearing things that expose my underparts is too excessive... but I love wearing skin tight jeans, short-shorts, and a top that reveals a lot of cleavage. I will especially wear skirts around the summer time. For reasons: Whenever my girls are going out together... we "check in" to see if we're dressing sexy so they can be equally sexy. It is a GIRL thing. It's what we love to do while socializing on a girls night out. Taken or not... it really doesn't matter. Ladies love to dress up either way. After dating a guy for a long period... we get lazy and sometimes don't put in a lot of effort. Guys do the same thing too- when they feel they don't need to impress their girlfriends after several months of dating, they slack off on their own appearance too but may dress up a bit (not as much as girls would)vwhen going out. If I got a body to show off... I'm going to do it. I got NICE abs and a rack since I've lost weight and weight lift with a personal trainer. I love feeling sexy for not just my fiance, but with my friends and for other people. Bartenders who think I'm cute enough let me drink on a FREE tab. It pays to be ultra sexy. recently she even got a brazilian wax and her strip was quite long as she hadnt waxed in a while, well she wanted me to trim it but then we just didnt get time, but after she went on a night out and the next morning i notice she had it trimmed perfectly? I'm sorry... but it's totally weird for a girl to ask her boyfriend to trim her pubes. I mean... gross! She should be doing it herself anyway Just sayin'! Link to comment
The_Seeker Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Totally true! ;] It's great to be a girl! LOL Link to comment
Snny Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 I know, right? Women know how to earn certain privileges by using what their momma gave 'em! Anyway OP... my suggestion is to have a casual, upbeat conversation with your girlfriend. Be like "Oh hey... I wanna take us out to this pub in town and I'm gonna be wearing something nice. Wanna accompany me?" Take her out to a place where she is going to want to dress up nice for you. Just whatever you do... don't tell her she dresses sl**ty because it isn't your place to judge and she WILL resent you for acting like her father. another clever thing to do... go clothes shopping with her the next time she goes. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 How long have you been dating her OP? If it hasn't been that long, I still advocate leaving her for someone who would rather not walk around with her vag hanging out when she's with you. It's a difference in opinion. I personally do not dress up in provocative clothes, ever, even when I was single, and especially not that I'm with someone. I know several girls who are different and that's fine, but I think guys should date who they are comfortable with. Don't be pressured to just "get used to" a girl dressing like a hooker when you can easily be with someone who doesn't do that. Link to comment
PhilliesFan001 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 Ditto to all of that. And when I dress up, it's not because I'm dying for men to look at me - it's because I have a nice body and nice clothes and I like how I look when I dress up and go out dancing. It's fun. Is it so hard to believe that not every single thing a woman does is for the benefit of other men? Give me a break. OP at the end of the day, you should tell her how you feel. You have every right to feel strange about it and voice your concerns, and she has every right to tell you she can dress however she wants and can continue to do so. Only you can decide if it bothers you enough to end the relationship. You cannot tell her to dress differently if she doesn't want to. Link to comment
Fudgie Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 BTW, just to clarify for those who believe it's okay to dress up that way... I think there is a DEFINITE difference in how OP's gf is dressing up and how you all may dress up when you go out. We aren't talking cleavage-showing shirts here..or tight jeans...or your average tight, short skirt. This woman literally is showing her bum off when she walks - her clothes do not effectively cover her privates. I understand the whole "I'm a girl with a hot body and I want to show it off and feel good" but c'mon, there is a line to be drawn here. Link to comment
je55ie Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 she wants the atention. trust me. she is going out of her way to make other guys look at her. i tink that is a sign she would cheat. if she truly wanted only you, she would hate the idea of guys looking at her. I disagree with the last sentence. I absolutely love getting attention from men, it's a total ego boost, but it has no impact how devoted I am to my partner. I am the most monogamous person out there, but I still like attention. It's like getting a compliment, who wouldn't want that? Now, in this case, the fact that she is going so far out of her way, and is clearly seeking sexual attention changes things. Your feelings merit a respectable, serious conversation, no matter how defensive she gets. Things will only get worse if you don't come to terms with your differences. Link to comment
Tom1990 Posted February 9, 2012 Share Posted February 9, 2012 THANK YOU Snny, Philly, and others. My girl did this before too; we were going clubbing and she dressed kind of frumpy. The next night without me but with the girls, and she dressed so sexy. We as guys cannot comprehend this. It is alien to us. Girls often cannot comprehend why it bothers us so much. But to the OP, I think this is beyond "girls night out," especially if she's getting angry. I think there may be other issues going on. She should be ok talking about it. Link to comment
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