My boyfriend is cheating on me and my heart is broken.

[Tuffly]

wow, sorry to hear that. are you okay?

 

Yes, I'm fine. It took a while for the hurt to away, but it did. I don't get along with my mother so I had some friends and one of their mothers who gave me shoulders to cry on. Their support helped me through it.

[ut804]

tashi, you say you are smart and mature. Having sex at 14 is not smart or mature. It can have a lot of negative consequences that can affect you for your whole life. You can end up pregnant or with an STD, and you are quite young to handle that if that happens.

This guy does not care about you, I'm sorry. Find a nice boy your age and hold off on having sex until you are older.

[Staple]

I just want to say, it is going to be on everyone in here's conscience if she gets murdered or something. The guy is obviously a sicko. She's 14 and he's 26. Not to mention he won't stop texting her. This is serious and everyone here should be telling this girl to TELL THE POLICE.

[Staple]

Who cares if he cheated on me? Have you ever been cheated on? its not a good feeling. AGE HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH IT, hes wasn't attracted to me because of my age btu because of my personality.

 

Are you kidding me? You know that you are being raped right? You don't KNOW you're being raped. But you are. Do you understand what rape means? If you do, just realize, it is happening to YOU and unless you tell the police or your parents, this is going to be a very dangerous situation for you.

[buckoboi]

Tashi, you can.. Really you can. Yeah its not easy but it is totally possible.

It's tough when you have feelings for somebody and I don't care if your 14 or 34, it hurts when you realise that they don't want to be with you anymore. But I assure you, trying to change his mind will only result in more heartbreak for yourself! You're allowed to be upset, cry, go somewhere and scream, beat your pillow! But you will be okay!

 

Tashi, if I were you, I'd listen to flyingpiglet. She's spot on with this one. This man doesn't love you. Your brain hasn't developed enough to be with someone that much older. Life isn't all butterflies and rainbows, you're going to have some bad moments, but you have to have crappy things happen to you in life so you can appreciate the good things. You could be in love with him, but I doubt he's in love with you. I just left the first girl I've ever loved, after 8 months she decided she'd get drunk and have sex with her friend. I'm still alive, you will be too. You're STRONGER than YOU THINK you are.

[Seraphim]

I just want to say, it is going to be on everyone in here's conscience if she gets murdered or something. The guy is obviously a sicko. She's 14 and he's 26. Not to mention he won't stop texting her. This is serious and everyone here should be telling this girl to TELL THE POLICE.

 

I do not think anyone here is responsible for what is happening to her. SHE is not even responsible. She is a little girl being manipulated by an adult. If she can not even tell her parents she surely is not going to tell the police. She has been manipulated into believing this predator loves her. I agree with you though she IS being raped and manipulated by a pig who belongs in prison. The faster she tells her parents the faster this can end.

[Tashi14]

Are you kidding me? You know that you are being raped right? You don't KNOW you're being raped. But you are. Do you understand what rape means? If you do, just realize, it is happening to YOU and unless you tell the police or your parents, this is going to be a very dangerous situation for you.

 

Rape=The crime, committed by a man, of forcing another person to have sexual intercourse with him, esp. by the threat or use of violence.

How was i being raped?

[Tashi14]

After reading all these comments i don't even know what to say.

[Seraphim]

Because rape includes people who can not consent. A 14 year old can not legally consent.That is called statutory rape.

[Seraphim]

"The term "statutory rape" is used in some legal jurisdictions to refer to sexual activities in which one person is below the age required to legally consent to the behavior.[1] Although it usually refers to adults engaging in sex with minors under the age of consent,[1] it is a generic term, and very few jurisdictions use the actual term "statutory rape" in the language of statutes.[2] Different jurisdictions use many different statutory terms for the crime, such as "sexual assault", "rape of a child", "corruption of a minor", "carnal knowledge of a minor", "unlawful carnal knowledge", or simply "carnal knowledge". Statutory rape differs from forcible rape in that overt force or threat need not be present. The laws presume coercion, because a minor or mentally challenged adult is legally incapable of giving consent to the act.

The term "statutory rape" generally refers to sex between an adult and a sexually mature minor past the age of puberty. Sexual relations with a prepubescent child, generically called "child molestation", is typically treated as a more serious crime."

 

Depending on where you are he has committed statutory rape.

[Seraphim]

U.S. State Age of Consent Age Gap Provision* Mistake of Age Defense**

Alabama 16 Yes No

Alaska 16 Yes Yes

Arizona 18 No Yes

Arkansas 16 No Yes

California 18 No No

Colorado 17 Yes No

Connecticut 16 Yes No

D.C. 16 Yes No

Delaware 18 Yes No

Florida 18 Yes No

Georgia 16 Yes No

Hawaii 16 Yes No

Idaho 18 Yes No

Illinois 17 No No

Indiana 16 No Yes

Iowa 16 Yes No

Kansas 16 No No

Kentucky 16 Yes Yes

Louisiana 17 Yes No

Maine 16 Yes Yes

Maryland 16 Yes No

Massachusetts 16 No No

Michigan 16 No No

Minnesota 16 Yes No

Mississippi 16 Yes No

Missouri 17 No Yes

Montana 16 Yes Yes

Nebraska 17 No No

Nevada 16 No No

New Hampshire 16 Yes No

New Jersey 16 Yes No

New Mexico 17 Yes No

New York 17 No Yes

North Carolina 16 Yes No

North Dakota 18 No No

Ohio 16 No No

Oklahoma 16 Yes No

Oregon 18 Yes No

Pennsylvania 16 Yes Yes

Rhode Island 16 No No

South Carolina 16 No No

South Dakota 16 No No

Tennessee 18 Yes No

Texas 17 No No

Utah 18 Yes No

Vermont 16 Yes No

Virginia 18 No No

Washington 16 Yes Yes

West Virginia 16 Yes Yes

Wisconsin 18 No No

Wyoming 18 Yes Yes

 

SO if you are in the US this fellow committed statutory rape. There is no age of consent under 16 here.

[Tashi14]

I live in NJ, why do the ages differ from state to state? will someone underage get in any kind of trouble aswell?

[Seraphim]

Because it is different according to the laws of your states. They are state determined. I am not American so I do not follow your laws closely. Do you mean YOU will get in trouble? No. But that guy is jail bound because he committed a crime, and THAT is why he won't be seen with you.

 

At 14 you should not be having sex. Nobody 14 is mature enough even remotely to handle the consequences.

[Tashi14]

Because it is different according to the laws of your states. They are state determined. I am not American so I do not follow your laws closely. Do you mean YOU will get in trouble? No. But that guy is jail bound because he committed a crime, and THAT is why he won't be seen with you.

 

At 14 you should not be having sex. Nobody 14 is mature enough even remotely to handle the consequences.

having sex is something i regret but everyone regrets their first time, i looked it up after i was really sad the next day.

[metrogirl]

So what happened, did you meet up with him?

[Seraphim]

No, not everyone regrets their first time. If you have it within a loving happy relationship there is nothing to regret. The thing is you had way way way too soon with an adult who is coercing you, which is a crime. Some who is 14 is not able to handle the emotions, what could happen to them, they could get an STD, pregnant, injured, ANYTHING. Really, love, tell your parents. You should have an STD test and other tests, because he is having sex with you and others.

[Tashi14]

So what happened, did you meet up with him?

yes i did, he lied about not seeing someone else so i told him that i saw him at the supermarket. He then admitted to it and apologized, he even cried. He must of felt really bad about it, i've never seen a guy cry before. I just don't know, i'm way over my head here. we've been talking but i don't want to see him right now.

[Tashi14]

No, not everyone regrets their first time. If you have it within a loving happy relationship there is nothing to regret. The thing is you had way way way too soon with an adult who is coercing you, which is a crime. Some who is 14 is not able to handle the emotions, what could happen to them, they could get an STD, pregnant, injured, ANYTHING. Really, love, tell your parents. You should have an STD test and other tests, because he is having sex with you and others.

 

we used condomns.....i can't deal with this anymore seriously. I reget EVERYTHING.

[chitown9]

He then admitted to it and apologized, he even cried. He must of felt really bad about it

 

He was crying for himself. He is extremely worried right now as he knows what he did with you, an underage girl, is wrong in the eyes of the law. There are extreme penalties for what he has done, and he knows it. Don't feel sorry for him. Report him! chi

[metrogirl]

Please don't believe for a minute that he was crying because he was sorry for hurting you. He wasn't crying when he was holding the other girls hand. He cried because either.....

 

He knows that eventually he could end up getting in big trouble or

 

He wants you to think that he feels bad but you know and I know he doesn't feel bad. He likely feels bad that he will now how to work on grooming a new 14 year old girl which takes a little time and effort but I'm sure he'll have no problem there since he seems to be an expert.

 

Look, I was a young girl once. Infatuated with an older man, I thought it was really neat that he liked me. I felt special, afterall he picked me! Out of all the girls out there he wanted me to be his girlfriend, but in time I realized that he was a jerk, I was young and naive and things didn't work according to how I thought they should have. Looking back I think to myself, how on earth could I have fallen for someone like that. He was a predator, his specialty was young girls. Lucky for him, he disappeared off the radar before my daddy found out.

 

Now as a mother and grandmother, having had those experiences in my young life I can warn my granddaughters about the dangers of men like the ones we were involved with. Take what you have learned from this and use it as a tool to help other girls that may not see they are being manipulated by predators.

[Seraphim]

we used condomns.....i can't deal with this anymore seriously. I reget EVERYTHING.

 

There are STD's you can get using condoms, the shedding skin to skin diseases like HPV and Herpes and that is only two of them. People think condoms protect them from everything. They don't.

 

 

Believe me love is he NOT crying about YOU. He is crying about the possibility of going to jail because you are not so enchanted anymore. Tell your parents please. HELP YOURSELF.

[Seraphim]

Believe me these people care ONLY about themselves. They have no conscience at ALL. They cry if THEY are some how going to punished and they don't give two craps what they have done to you. I promise you that.

 

The person who raped me also tried to kill my dad because we had "the nerve to report him and he had to go to trial and sat there in court and cried about how his life was being destroyed by some little ........ and he had done nothing." Believe me they do not care. Life is about them them them.

[penelope13]

Tashi, how are you feeling today? - You had to read and learn a lot of uncomfortable truths on this thread. It may sound overwhelming and scary, but people are trying to help you. Before worrying and stressing about if you should report him to authorities, focus on your own safety first. Cut all contact with him.

 

Reach out to someone who you trust in real life, be it your parents, a teacher, or some support group. You need someone to support you, to give you a hug and to guide you through this experience.

 

If you are as strong and mature as you say, you will get through this. It may not be easy, but you will manage. It's also ok to feel like crying and asking for help.

 

Hugs to you

 

P.

[Tashi14]

believe me these people care only about themselves. They have no conscience at all. They cry if they are some how going to punished and they don't give two craps what they have done to you. I promise you that.

 

The person who raped me also tried to kill my dad because we had "the nerve to report him and he had to go to trial and sat there in court and cried about how his life was being destroyed by some little ........ And he had done nothing." believe me they do not care. Life is about them them them.

 

wow...............................

[Tashi14]

There are STD's you can get using condoms, the shedding skin to skin diseases like HPV and Herpes and that is only two of them. People think condoms protect them from everything. They don't.

 

 

Believe me love is he NOT crying about YOU. He is crying about the possibility of going to jail because you are not so enchanted anymore. Tell your parents please. HELP YOURSELF.

I just wish this never happened.