Flyingpiglet Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 You know what you need to do... Everything else aside, you need to treat this like a the break-up that it is. If, for obvious reasons, you can't talk to your friends and family about this, then talk to us. But the bottom line is you need to leave this alone. Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 tashi , you say you know its illegal but so is downloading music... down loading music does not put you on the sex offenders register for the rest of you life , having sex with a 14 year old does. My point was just because its illegal doesn't make it wrong, there are a lot of stupid laws. Link to comment
Furbys Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 As much as you may care for him he has shown that he doesn't care for you as much as you think he does. It will hurt leaving him but you will find someone else (someone around your age) and you will look back and think 'Wow why was i ever bothered about that guy?' We all think negatively with a break up by thinking 'I'll never find anyone else like him, no one will be better' but we are all wrong. We do meet someone much better. Leaving your first partner is always difficult but you know you need to do it for your own dignity and sanity. He is most probably having it with the ex and why should you carry on with a guy who is cheating on you? Don't you deserve better than that? Closure is a good thing, we all need it, but there is a chance he wont give that to you. He may manipulate you when you talk to him, he will make out that he isnt seeing the ex (when he most probably is, and the texts are very suspicious) he will try to pull you back in. You know you need to leave him because he obviously doesnt love you. Argue all you like that he does but actions speak louder than words. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 its illegal because its wrong ... tashi I am not trying to patronise you , he is 26 years old and I am telling you the cold harsh reality of life ..and that is ..if he is caught he will be going to prison , he will be on rule 43 for sex offenders and it will be on his record for the rest of his life regardless of how stupid you think it is. Link to comment
Flyingpiglet Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Don't kid yourself with closure... It something that few of us ever realise because, to the person thats hurting, there will never be a good enough reason for breaking our hearts! But you have to realise the potential problems this relationship cold bring if it carries on. You may be veiwed as the victim, but he would be the criminal. We don't mean to be harsh but it is important you understand why this is unhealthy, and illegal! Tashi, be as mature as you say you are... Let him go!!! Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I would argue that many laws serve to protect people. Technically, if your parents or guardians discovered this, and simply did not approve of the relationship, they could have charges brought up against him regardless of how you felt. This is not a situation either of you want to be in Link to comment
Tuffly Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Not everything gets closure. And first boyfriends are TOUGH to get over. What do you want out of life? What kind of job are you interested in? Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 Not everything gets closure. And first boyfriends are TOUGH to get over. What do you want out of life? What kind of job are you interested in? I just want to live a happy comfortable life, I want to do both journalism and creative writing. I love fashion so writing for a fashion magazine would be my ideal job, i also want to write novels. my favorite authors are stephanie myer, when i read her last book i was so moved i cried. And franz kafka i've read a lot of his stuff awell. most kids my age have never heard of him. I think everyone should read "the metamorphosis" if you haven't already. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 At 14 no matter how mature you think you are you are NOT an adult and there is NO way you should be having a sexual relationship and bf/gf relationship with an adult. He deserves to be in jail. I can tell you if you were my daughter that is exactly where he would be, in prison. He is disgusting. He is taking advantage of you whether you believe it or not and there is no possible way you can be at the maturity of a 26 year old. The human brain is not even fully adult till about 25. My son is 14 and I can tell you if a 26 year old woman went after him she would be taking her life in her hands. Also too reading a lot of books does not make you emotionally mature enough to handle a relationship with a grown adult. This is child abuse whether you see it or not. This not a relationship of equals and it is distinctly all the power on his end. Link to comment
Tuffly Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Think about the painful situation you're in with this man who may be about to hurt you. It looks like he was looking for a young girl. At his age, he should be looking OUT for and protecting girls your age. I don't think downloading free music is a dumb law. It robs the artists. The law protects them from what is rightfully theirs. The laws that say he shouldn't be with you are there to protect you so you can have a life and develop at a pace where you fully develop. I'm talking about these goals and interests you mention above. I know it's going to hurt like h3ll if he goes back to his ex girlfriend, but you have a lot going on. I hope you don't ruin it by trying to change his mind. As a matter of fact, life events like these are worthy of writing about. (hint hint) I hope that you eventually see that a 26 year man who knowingly meets and has a relationship with a 14 year old girl is not a desirable man. no matter how nice he seems. Men like that can be pros at being nice. First love always feels "right." That's why they're so hard to get over. As mature as you are, I hope you realize that it takes a lot of strength to and wisdom to look at things realistically. Realistically, MOST relationships don't work out. That's why we're all here. The bottom line is this: If you don't look at things realistically, you may develop a pattern of confusing the love and comfortable home you never got from your parents with experiences provided by men. You have to be comfortable first on your own. Almost impossible at 14 if you ask me. Do not become that girl that is drawn into relationships out of emptiness. This part you won't like. Men who look for relationships with 14 year old girls do not start relationships with girls on good terms with their parents. They know if they do, they will not get everything they want from that relationship. That's one of the reasons why Dateline calls them predators... I'm just saying... Link to comment
doiiiieeezie Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 You need to tell your parents, simple as that. It is wrong in every aspect of the word and until you distance yourself from this, you will never see the reality. In 10 years when you're 24, would you date a 12 yr old boy? Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I agree. He scoped you out on the internet and reeled you in. He is a predator. You know, I was reeled in an abused by a 28 year old predator when I was 13. In many ways it almost completely destroyed my life. I am telling you from experience, tell your parents and get this sicko out of your life. Link to comment
LaKings55 Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Generally, put yourself in the position of a parent. When/if you're a parent, would you want your 14 year old (regardless of gender) being with a 26 year old adult? I know I wouldn't. I'd just want my 14 year old to focus on school Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 I don't want that for myself. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Also too what if you get pregnant? What if you get an STD? There are SO many things that could happen to you that you are totally unprepared for. Tell your parents and let them handle this. Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 You need to tell your parents, simple as that. It is wrong in every aspect of the word and until you distance yourself from this, you will never see the reality. In 10 years when you're 24, would you date a 12 yr old boy? I wouldn't date a 12 year old if i was 24. I've always been attracted to older guys anyway. Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 Generally, put yourself in the position of a parent. When/if you're a parent, would you want your 14 year old (regardless of gender) being with a 26 year old adult? I know I wouldn't. I'd just want my 14 year old to focus on school know i wouldn't Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I wouldn't date a 12 year old if i was 24. I've always been attracted to older guys anyway. Because you are attracted to them does not mean they are any good for you. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 know i wouldn't Then if it is not good for your own child why would it be good for you? Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 Also too what if you get pregnant? What if you get an STD? There are SO many things that could happen to you that you are totally unprepared for. Tell your parents and let them handle this. I don't want him to go to jail for something i consented to. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 I don't want him to go to jail for something i consented to. That is where he deserves to be. You do not have the maturity to consent to this relationship. He deserves to be in jail and when he is done with you he will move onto the next little girl till he ends up in prison. Link to comment
Furbys Posted January 1, 2012 Share Posted January 1, 2012 Tashi has he contacted you at all still, have you contacted him? I think you need to bite the bullet and end things, he would rather have his ex. Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 1, 2012 Author Share Posted January 1, 2012 Then if it is not good for your own child why would it be good for you? idk when its just us two nothing else really matters. I think we're done anyway. Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 ^^ That is how he drew you in. Trying to make you believe in some paradise and you are so desirable and smart and mature and yada yada. Trust me it is an act. He is a predator pure and simple and the fact you won't tell your parents tells me you KNOW it is wrong. They have laws to protect children from animals like him and they are very necessary. Link to comment
PhilliesFan001 Posted January 2, 2012 Share Posted January 2, 2012 He doesn't want to be seen with you in public because he'd be arrested. Every 14 year old thinks they're more mature than the average teen, I did too. I know you're probably not going to listen to what anybody says because when I was 16 and "in love" with a 25 year old I reacted the exact same way. So, all I can say is I truly hope he is interested in somebody else and leaves you alone so you can be with others your age. I don't mean any disrespect, but your lack of experience and relative immaturity (in comparison to a 26 year old) does show through in your posts. Your responses and logic are the exact cliche answers that every young girl uses to justify her relationship with a much older man in an illegal relationship - I really hate to be so blunt, but this isn't a relationship, it's a grown man messing around with a girl who doesn't know better and he knows that. You say he's a nice guy but why on earth would a nice guy involve himself in a relationship with someone who only became a teenager a year ago? You can't be seen in public together, you can't bring him around your family or friends, you can't bring him to school dances...what kind of relationship is that for you? What do you get out of it? Link to comment
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