greta96 Posted January 26, 2012 Share Posted January 26, 2012 I have been following your thread and I just wanted to add my 2 cents, in hopes you will realize that if so many people who don't know each other are telling you the same thing, maybe it would be a good idea to take a leap of faith and trust them... You really sound mature for your age, with a good head on your shoulders, so I'll talk to you the same way I'd talk to a 34 year old, ok? First of all, unfortunately you are in denial. Again, nothing to do with your age, as I have recently dealt with my own best friend being in huge denial, and she is 45! You are so infatuated with this guy, that you refuse to see what's right in front of you. Deep down you KNOW something is not right, but you're letting your feelings stay in the way of doing the right thing - which is, like everybody else advised you to do, tell your mom everything. Secondly, and this is what caught my attention from your first post...Tashi, he is not cheating on you...he is cheating WITH you! Surely you can see that. You saw his real girlfriend with your own eyes. He is cheating on her with you, and who knows with who else. For the outside world, he leads a normal life, with a girlfriend his age...which he uses to hide his sick perverted desires for young girls, because he knows full well that if people knew about his "preferences", he would be labelled a pedophile and punished as such. And thirdly (and probably the most important thing that came to my mind), you may be in danger. Just think about it: as far as he's concerned, you are holding a bomb: if you drop it, for any reason, he's screwed for life. I'm not only talking about doing time in jail, I'm talking about him having to live his whole life with one of the worst labels a man can have. Everybody will avoid him, he'll never have a girlfriend or a wife, he'll be a paria forever. And he knows all this. So to him, it is of utmost importance to make sure you keep quiet about everything. You have more power over him than you realize! You are a threat to him! This is why he cried (like you said in a previous post), this is why now he convinced you that he broke up with his girlfriend...and this is why he's doing his best to keep you calm and infatuated: because if you get mad at him, you can drop the bomb! As long as he convinces you that he loves you and it's just unfortunate that because of your age he cannot present you to the world, you'll stay quiet and he's safe. So please, whatever you do, not not EVER talk to him about your intentions, if you ever decide to tell your mom everything. Only God knows what he may do to you, to shut you up! I hope you are mature enough to see this and protect yourself... Now you'll say "no, I know him, he is not capable of harming me"...yes Tashi, he is, and you don't know him as well as you think you do. I had a boyfriend who was a saint and treated me like a queen for months, and then one night he went crazy out of nowhere, he yelled and screamed and called me names...I couldn't recognize him, I would have never thought he was able to raise his voice... You also said in one of your posts that you would not want your own daughter to go through what you've been going through... Then why would you want other people's kids to go through it? Because make no mistake, you're not the first and you won't be the last...You were only 13 when he met you, he may go for 11, 12 year olds....don't you want to protect those kids? You have the power to put an end to this person's sick activities, do it, for yourself and for other kids who may not be as smart and strong as you! And your mom...just think how devastated she would be, in case something worse happens to you, and she couldn't do anything to help you! She will feel like a failure for the rest of her life, she will live blaming herself, even though she didn't know what was happening...do you really want this for your mom? Yes she will be upset when you tell her the truth, yes she may punish you a little...but that's NOTHING compared to the alternative. Her love for you will be stronger than her anger, and you will probably end up closer than ever before! Please, once again, think of all the people whose lives will be seriously affected (including yours), if you don't stop this man from doing what he's doing. This is serious business Tashi, it's not a game and it's not a romantic fairytale... People like him should not be allowed to roam freely through the world... He WILL get caught one day, that's a given, but it's up to you make sure this happens before he gets to take advantage of who knows how many more little girls... You can save lives Tashi! Do the right thing, and you'll see how much happier you'll be! Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 27, 2012 Author Share Posted January 27, 2012 Wow you wrote a lot. Lol Talking about the first point you made; I have to admit that I am infatuated with this guy, he’s a good looking guy, I don’t think I ever described how he looked. He’s like 5’11, athletic, dark hair and brown eyes. Any girl would want him, thus I get sick when I even think about some girl flirting with him, drives me crazy. I felt lucky just to be with him, he could get any girl but he chose me. In the beginning I didn’t feel worthy of being with him, I look older then I am but I don’t have big boobs. (Hopefully soon), I don’t have my own money because I can’t work, also we won’t be able to hang out outside from his apartment. Yeah I’m smart and very mature but how possibility could that be enough. I didn’t care I was just happy that he wanted to be with me. So yes I’m infatuated with him. Point two. I couldn’t even bare to think that he was with her that whole time, I thought of it. Call me crazy but I don’t think that’s the case. He’s showed me text from her and she’s crazy. Let’s leave it at that. Point 3 this point actually scared me; I guess I never thought about that. I feel like I know him but I understand how bad it would be for him if it got out that he was seeing me. Allow me to think more about that because I can’t even grasp him even screaming at me. It defiantly is something to think about. You also made other point that I can’t get into right now because you wrote a lot and I already forget. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 But its not all about sex. I bet it was all about sex for him. He can't take you out, can't take you dinner or to a movie or for a drive so what else was there for him to do with you? Sorry not trying to be mean, just trying to understand. Link to comment
ut804 Posted January 27, 2012 Share Posted January 27, 2012 The sad thing is, girls like Tashi all too often go on to abuse drugs and/or become anorexic. I see it all the time. All these drug users/ anorexics become that way because it all started with being molested. I strongly recommend professional help for this will affect your adulthood, self-image, and future relationships. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 The sad thing is, girls like Tashi all too often go on to abuse drugs and/or become anorexic. I see it all the time. All these drug users/ anorexics become that way because it all started with being molested. I strongly recommend professional help for this will affect your adulthood, self-image, and future relationships. This is true Tashi. I am certified in substance abuse. This is a fact... Link to comment
Seraphim Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 ^ Yup. I went that way for more than 10 years and lucky I still have liver. Link to comment
pippy longstocking Posted January 28, 2012 Share Posted January 28, 2012 tashi you have to listen to these ladies on here , you must my darling ..they are trying to help you have a good healthy future . Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 29, 2012 Author Share Posted January 29, 2012 Really?There are lots of things we can do and he did drive me somewhere once. I bet it was all about sex for him. He can't take you out, can't take you dinner or to a movie or for a drive so what else was there for him to do with you? Sorry not trying to be mean, just trying to understand. Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 29, 2012 Author Share Posted January 29, 2012 What does this have to do with anything?The sad thing is, girls like Tashi all too often go on to abuse drugs and/or become anorexic. I see it all the time. All these drug users/ anorexics become that way because it all started with being molested. I strongly recommend professional help for this will affect your adulthood, self-image, and future relationships. Link to comment
chitown9 Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 What does this have to do with anything? Tashi, what we are trying to tell you is that this is the wreckage these women had to deal with because they did not get professional help for being sexually molested by someone they trusted. They were sexually molested as you were. In many case the person that they trusted was an older man...sometimes a relative or close family friend. In your case it is someone that you want to believe is a boyfriend. He has been using you, Tashi, sad to say. Link to comment
Tashi14 Posted January 29, 2012 Author Share Posted January 29, 2012 Oh. i doubt that could happen to me though. Whatever choice i make i'll be able to live with it. To be honest i haven't thought about my situation at all for the past couple fo days. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing. Hes still in jail and im just ok, i haven't felt guilty about being with someone older then me until i came on this site. I'm allowing people to make me feel bad about the decision i chose. Its emotionally draining for me to have to make a decision that can change someone's life because other people thinks its wrong. However sometimes i wish i could just have a normal life and date boys my age and go to the movies. I'm probably all over the place with this but im just conveying whats on my mind at the moment. Link to comment
metrogirl Posted January 29, 2012 Share Posted January 29, 2012 Really?There are lots of things we can do and he did drive me somewhere once. Ok Tashi, tell me what you two did together as a couple? Did he freely do these things with you or did you have to ask? Link to comment
IngridClaire Posted January 30, 2012 Share Posted January 30, 2012 It's probably for the best. If you've slept with him and someone turns him in, he would be in big trouble. And besides, he was probably just using you for sex (if that's what you were doing.) When he came to see you, is that what you did together? If so, then he was probably just with you for the "fun". It will break your heart, but hey- you're only 14. You have decades to find the one person that is right for you. I assure you, it wasn't that guy. The relationship I'm in now is also rocky, and to be honest it was pretty much built on sex. But it evolved to be something more and now it's starting to crumble. So let this one go and keep searching. Link to comment
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