Being attracted to a specific race

[somegirl30]

Over the past several months I have become more and more attracted to black men to the point that I prefer to date them over any other race. I just find them more attractive. I am white btw. I guess I'm kind of wondering if it's "normal." My friends accept it, but they do tease me a little (all in fun...). My sister says I should not rule out white men, but is it really any different than some women preferring taller men or men with dark hair?

[Oneironaut]

No, it's not. I happen to -not- be attracted to men with dark skin. It's just my personal taste, just as I'm not attracted to guys with shaved heads.

 

Always be true to yourself, no matter what anyone else thinks.

[SapphireNoir10]

It's a physical preference like any other.

[Deciduous]

Hi somegirl30,

 

Is it "normal" that Rod Stewart only fancies blonds? Or that Boris Becker's last two wives look identical. Some-times we have physical preferences. Some-times they last. Some-times they don't. It's no biggie.

 

But it must be said, the majority of my girlfriends ended up marrying blokes that are not "their usual type." Seems its best to keep an eye out for emotional connection, not just physical preferences.

 

Deci

[1m50L0nl3y]

I think everybody has a type. In the 21st century it shouldn't be an issue liking people of a different race. As it shouldn't be an issue liking your own kind. Skin colour is only a physical quality, as it is being tall, slender, brunette, etc. People tend to be hypocritical and criticize you when you express your type is someone of an specific ethnic group, but some of them wouldn't date short people for example, is that discrimination? Would it be safe to say the that homosexuals discriminate against the opposite sex? NO.

You just like what you like. What turns you on is what turns you on. It has been scientifically proven that everybody has a "type" and won't date people who don't fit their criteria, and in the event they do, they will be uncomfortable with the idea and sooner or later will shift to someone who fits what they want.

So you are entitled to black men, and I think black men like white women too, milk and chocolate gives out the most beautiful babies.

[Ms Darcy]

Date who you feel attracted to but keep your heart open for a great guy who loves you too.

[Batya33]

Would you date a man whose ethnicity was African American but he had very light colored skin?

[In the Dark]

Men...Women....all have preference in physical traits of a potential partner before personality whether we notice it or not.

Those preferences definitely can change over time.

 

I'd say the only reason you are getting a bit of stick from your friends is because they are now able to.

 

For sure even in this day and age there are people out there who would not approve of your preference but who cares.

They're not dating them and you're not living with the people who mind.

[Yang]

Everyone has a preference. Though I don't prefer to date a specific race, I open myself to meeting all kinds of people.

[Moontiger]

I have a STRONG preference for dark skinned men. Have a physical preference is completely normal. I find the key is to no be totally militant about it, for example if I happened to meet a blond guy who I shared a lot in common with I wouldn't rule out dating him just because he was blond.

[Shudder]

theres nothing wrong with having preference. but sometimes i think having a preference for certain types of girls/guys or certain ethnicities, severely diminishes your dating pool.

[somegirl30]

Would you date a man whose ethnicity was African American but he had very light colored skin?

 

Maybe...it would depend.

 

And I don't necessarily rule out white men. I just find I'm generally more attracted to black men. It's not only the dark skin, either...the eyes, lips, etc.

[FathomFear]

 

 

Having said that, your preferences are your preferences. I generally find black/asian men less attractive, but there are always exceptions. In any case it's not the place of your friends to judge.

[agatha]

mom always told me that the only person that perhaps maybe may have some kind of saying about what you do with your own life is the one paying your bills. that said, if you want to date a guy from mars, that's your problem and yours alone. it can only be unnaceptable if it turns into an issue or something of the sort that impairs your life. which doesn't seem to be the case.

[mines]

I am only attracted to African-American men. Interestingly there are different ethnicities that have dark skin, sometimes darker than a lighter skinned African American, for example, but I'm not attracted to them. So for me it's more than the color of the skin/hair/eyes. I think it is the beauty of the bold features, and the warm culture of the African Americans....that draws me in. The men are very passionate, and caucasian men? I've always found them cold and icy.....

 

At this point, DISCLAIMER, my entire comment and post, is my opinion only. I have friends of all cultures/ethnicities, they all have beauty, both inside and out. But, in truth, I can't imagine ever having desire for a Caucasian, not after knowing my African American boyfriend/lover. I am Caucasian, just for the record. Interesting thread!

[Fudgie]

Nothing wrong with it. It's just a physical preference. No different than people wanting someone with green eyes, red hair, skinny, or larger, or bushy hair, or whatever!

 

One of my exes was dark (Filipino) but my preference is white, and not tan. I like VERY pale guys. Mostly because I am very pale and don't tan. So I guess you could say I'm physically attracted to my own colour. Haha.

[birdname]

I have dated men of every race, however, the ones that i found myself in relationships with have all been tall, skinny, blue eyed, brown haired white guys. I thought this was a coincidence, but then I read an article that talked about how lots of people are genetically predisposed to be attracted to people with similar genetics.

[greywolf]

I have dated men of every race, however, the ones that i found myself in relationships with have all been tall, skinny, blue eyed, brown haired white guys. I thought this was a coincidence, but then I read an article that talked about how lots of people are genetically predisposed to be attracted to people with similar genetics.

 

Really? I read once that people are attracted to people with different genetics and the rationale is that healthier reproduction is more likely. Who knows...

[BritterSweet]

Really? I read once that people are attracted to people with different genetics and the rationale is that healthier reproduction is more likely. Who knows...

 

Actually, I heard of the opposite: "Genetic Sexual Attraction," where siblings who were raised apart would find each other attractive later in life. So the attraction to one with similar genes is actually quite plausible.

[agent1607307371]

With the GSA, I think it's that the genes are SO similar but because they didn't have the prolonged exposure to each other that reults in family tie feelings it is overwhelming.

 

I think as long as its not a fetish, the it's ok. I always get men who think that talking about how much the love redheads, and think they're wonderful and x and y are going to get them a date, rather than make me feel reduced down to one specific quality I possess. I have a thing for really tall men, but if that's the only quality they possess that catches my eye, it's not enough to hold my interest.

[Batya33]

Maybe...it would depend.

 

And I don't necessarily rule out white men. I just find I'm generally more attracted to black men. It's not only the dark skin, either...the eyes, lips, etc.

 

I understand - it's a physical preference, not having to do with the person's culture.

[meoww]

I pretty much only like dark hair! I don't know why, I could never see myself sleeping with or dating someone who is blonde! I think I'm way too picky, I don't even know if I'd date a guy with blue eyes. I also feel guilty about my preferences sometimes.

 

I have had a type since day one, even though I have had a few relationships with people who did not fit this profile, and you know what, attraction was a major issue for me in the end. I could never sustain a long term relationship with someone I'm not attracted to. I once tried really hard to overcome this but I was so unhappy for years! Definitely not doing that again.

 

I'm all for doing what makes us happy

[Batya33]

Most people can't date someone they're not attracted to but for many people what attracts them is not a particular hair color but a combination of physical features and the vibes/connection they feel when they are with the person. You can control those types of physical preferences if you choose by choosing to focus on what you see inside the person as well as outside. What would you do if your SO's hair fell out and then grew back white/gray or he went gray? Insist that he dye it so you could be attracted to him again?

[Deciduous]

What would you do if your SO's hair fell out and then grew back white/gray or he went gray? Insist that he dye it so you could be attracted to him again?

 

Hmm! Not quite sure why you're going with that. Her boyfriend's skin is hardly likely to fall off, thus resulting in a change of culture overnite.

[Batya33]

Hmm! Not quite sure why you're going with that. Her boyfriend's skin is hardly likely to fall off, thus resulting in a change of culture overnite.

 

I was going with responding to the post above. As far as skin color changing, yes, it can, actually, as can texture. That's the point- if you're that specific about physical features there's a higher risk of things not working out if the physical features change.