Changing your last name...ladies...how did/do you feel?

[OptomisticGirl]

A lot of people do the household party for a couple who is just getting a new house. Believe me, it helps.

[newwave]

I think you're talking a housewarming, which yes helps a lot. I don't own a house but if I ever buy one I'll do one of those.

[OptomisticGirl]

A housewarming is usually used for an unmarried couple. My ex and I had one when we moved in together. A household bridal shower is the same token only the bride doesn't want any personal or lingerie gifts.

[Fudgie]

I would NOT want lingerie from anyone except my husband. It's not a party for ME it's for the bride and groom. Besides with women only showers I would not feel comfortable opening up lingerie in front of my mother or grandmother.

 

This is EXACTLY why I probably won't let anyone bring gifts to my wedding.

 

When it comes to sexual topics, I'm a prude with most people I know. The last thing I would want is to have a wedding and have someone give me a lingerie set because *LOL LOL* you know what comes next *wink wink nudge nudge*

 

Good Lord, I'd just die. I've been to weddings where that has happened and of course, everyone is laughing but I was mortified for the couple.

 

I don't like showers....no bridal showers, engagement parties, no rehearsals, no baby showers, nothing. I'm not comfortable being in that "me me" position and I get embarassed easily. Not very many people I feel comfortable around.

 

And honestly, I'd rather just buy the stuff myself. I'm really picky about my appliances so I know if anyone gave me any, I'd probably sell them on ebay. Like I said, I'd much rather buy them.

 

The way I'm going, I will be able to strip it all down to "hey hon, let's just go to the courthouse, okay?" and only have 10 people present.

[OptomisticGirl]

Yeah, no, I would never have allowed lingerie as a present at the wedding. My bridal shower? Sure.

 

What if you did a registery Fudgie? That way people bought exactly what you wanted?

 

Yeah, see, that's one of the reasons we deicded to do the courthouse.

[newwave]

Depending on who gave me the lingerie it might be fine. If it was a close female friend it would be funny, my grandparents, not so much. I'd even feel funny talking about this to my parents and they are pretty open about this. I would prefer money.

 

If I get married I like the idea of registering at Best Buy for some electronics. That's me though because I already have many things and likely by the time I marry I will have been living with someone for awhile and have appliances and things like dishes and towels.

[newwave]

A housewarming is usually used for an unmarried couple. My ex and I had one when we moved in together. A household bridal shower is the same token only the bride doesn't want any personal or lingerie gifts.

 

My parents had one when they bought their last house. I never had one while moving in with someone (lived with two guys) because I never felt it was appropriate then.

[Fudgie]

Yeah, no, I would never have allowed lingerie as a present at the wedding. My bridal shower? Sure.

 

What if you did a registery Fudgie? That way people bought exactly what you wanted?

 

Yeah, see, that's one of the reasons we deicded to do the courthouse.

 

You can do that? I mean...do people actually follow those?

 

I would just be soooo embarassed about getting anything remotely sexual and I worry that even if I said "no please don't" someone would do it.

 

Courthouse wouldn't be too bad. I think it's a good choice.

[Fudgie]

Depending on who gave me the lingerie it might be fine. If it was a close female friend it would be funny, my grandparents, not so much. I'd even feel funny talking about this to my parents and they are pretty open about this. I would prefer money.

 

If I get married I like the idea of registering at Best Buy for some electronics. That's me though because I already have many things and likely by the time I marry I will have been living with someone for awhile and have appliances and things like dishes and towels.

 

Best Buy isn't too bad.

 

If I ended up marrying my boyfriend though, I doubt we'd need it. He's been living by himself so long, he has everything. It's not like we are a young couple getting a new place. While it's likely now that he'd move, he has so much stuff.

[OptomisticGirl]

You can do that? I mean...do people actually follow those?

 

I would just be soooo embarassed about getting anything remotely sexual and I worry that even if I said "no please don't" someone would do it.

 

Courthouse wouldn't be too bad. I think it's a good choice.

 

Yeah, sure. I mean my best friend got a few things she didn't ask for (like 4 vacums) but you can easily take them back and exchange them for the money and get what you didn't get. Most people I know stick to the registry because who wants to spend money on a gift for someone if they aren't going to KEEP it? You should be able to do it anywhere. I'd kill to do mine at Wal Mart. lol

 

No, it's not bad. Still having close family and friends and a small reception afterward, then going out to dinner with a few people.

[Fudgie]

Yeah that does sound pretty nice, low key in sort of way, right?

 

I don't know what mine will be like in the future but it will probably be rather low key. Depends on who I marry (hopefully my boyfriend) and his health at the time. he has told me that he'd love to marry me in the future but how that will happen, we have to see how his health is. I don't want to put any unnecessary stress on him, make him stand too long, etc.

 

Weddings are exciting

[OptomisticGirl]

Yeah. We would love to do the big wedding but lots of things, including my visa so soon afterward, we decided to op out of it for now, do it big later.

 

They are exciting. But can also be expensive in certain situations. Really the only standing done is the ceremony, unless you do like a dance repcetion and even then you could have chairs.

[newwave]

Yeah that does sound pretty nice, low key in sort of way, right?

 

I don't know what mine will be like in the future but it will probably be rather low key. Depends on who I marry (hopefully my boyfriend) and his health at the time. he has told me that he'd love to marry me in the future but how that will happen, we have to see how his health is. I don't want to put any unnecessary stress on him, make him stand too long, etc.

 

Weddings are exciting

 

 

I have no idea what I'll do and depends when I marry. I want the traditional Catholic wedding ceremony wearing a long white gown and train followed by the reception with 100-200 people but we'll see. I worry that if I don't find someone soon (or the guy I want doesn't come around) this will never happen. It will depend on how much in the future. If I marry much later in life where all my relatives are gone, I doubt I'd do a big wedding.

[OptomisticGirl]

I have no idea what I'll do and depends when I marry. I want the traditional Catholic wedding ceremony wearing a long white gown and train followed by the reception with 100-200 people but we'll see. I worry that if I don't find someone soon (or the guy I want doesn't come around) this will never happen. It will depend on how much in the future. If I marry much later in life where all my relatives are gone, I doubt I'd do a big wedding.

 

I always wanted the big wedding and if it weren't for certain aspects, we would be having that. You could one day find the right guy and decide to throw out the big thing and do something smaller.

[newwave]

I always wanted the big wedding and if it weren't for certain aspects, we would be having that. You could one day find the right guy and decide to throw out the big thing and do something smaller.

 

Depends on the circumstance. I really want the big wedding but if relatives are gone by then there is no point. If I marry within a few years then most will still be around. I figure I will marry once (hopefully) as will he so I'll do it big. I know if I marry the one I hope he will want a big wedidng like me.

[OptomisticGirl]

Depends on the circumstance. I really want the big wedding but if relatives are gone by then there is no point. If I marry within a few years then most will still be around. I figure I will marry once (hopefully) as will he so I'll do it big. I know if I marry the one I hope he will want a big wedidng like me.

 

Like I said, anything can happen. And they are expensive. God they are.

[newwave]

They are, but there's ways to cut corners (which I would do). I know someone who spent about half the cost of wedding than what it really is. She said when (not if which I find interesting) I get engaged she'll show me how she did it (and she had a nice wedding).

[OptomisticGirl]

There are ways to cut corners, most def. We were looking at spending $5,000 and the most expensive thing other then the honeymoon (included in that) was the photographer at $1,000

[Fudgie]

Yeah. We would love to do the big wedding but lots of things, including my visa so soon afterward, we decided to op out of it for now, do it big later.

 

They are exciting. But can also be expensive in certain situations. Really the only standing done is the ceremony, unless you do like a dance repcetion and even then you could have chairs.

 

 

Ah I always wanted a small one But yeah you can always do it big later.

One of my friends is having her "dream wedding" this year. She got married to the guy last year but couldn't do anything at that point (they have an age difference similar to that between me and my boyfriends, she was nearly disowned so yep, no wedding)...now, everything has blown over and everyone's happy so it's wedding time!

 

I'd like to keep it as cheap as possible. I don't really like to dance and nor does the boyfriend so we probably wouldn't have that.

 

Depends on how long the ceremony is but he told me he will probably use his cane. he can stand up for a long time when he has it to lean on. We'll have to see.

[OptomisticGirl]

Ah I always wanted a small one But yeah you can always do it big later.

One of my friends is having her "dream wedding" this year. She got married to the guy last year but couldn't do anything at that point (they have an age difference similar to that between me and my boyfriends, she was nearly disowned so yep, no wedding)...now, everything has blown over and everyone's happy so it's wedding time!

 

I'd like to keep it as cheap as possible. I don't really like to dance and nor does the boyfriend so we probably wouldn't have that.

 

Depends on how long the ceremony is but he told me he will probably use his cane. he can stand up for a long time when he has it to lean on. We'll have to see.

 

Yeah, I'd rather have a small wedding now and move to England sooner than a big wedding now and take longer for us to be together.

[greywolf]

Mod Note: Please stay on topic.

[orchidrose]

I've always wanted to change my name. More for aesthetic reasons, really: my last name is very short, and many people call me by a variation on my first name that it is really short, so it just sounds funny. When I was a kid I had fantasies of marrying a man with a long, complicated last name so completely unlike mine. In fact, I even thought about going by my mom's maiden name, which is very ethnic and long.

 

But on the whole, I'm also a pretty traditional girl when it comes to this sort of thing, and I would like to take my husband's name. I don't see it as giving up my identity; I see it as merging my identity with his. And it also would make life a lot easier if we had kids down the road for us to all have the same last name.

[DN]

Mod Note: This is the second time we have requested that members stay on topic- This is a thread about changing names when getting married not about bridal showers etc.

[laboheme]

Well, I'm nowhere near marriage, but I do know that I would only change my last name under very limited circumstances. My first name is very unique, and my last name is, too. They work well together, but my first name would not work with the vast majority of last names out there. It would just sound wrong, jarring, and unnatural. If I ever married someone with a standard last name and took it, I'd probably have to change my first name as well, or at least go exclusively by my nickname. Although, I'm not excluding the possibility that there are last names out there that would complement my first name.

 

That said, I don't have any particular attachment to my last name, and I don't think that I'll ever become so famous that changing it would be a bad career move. However, I don't dream of being Ms. His Last Name, either, and I don't see that as a sign of romance or commitment.

[Oneironaut]

I'm recently divorced, but I did not change my last name. I like my last name, and it is part of who I am.

 

That being said, however, I was going to happily take the last name of my recent ex-boyfriend, whom I loved very, very much. I'm not sure why the difference...one of those weird matters of the heart, I guess. 8P