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I don't mind it

I don't mind at all

It's like you're the swing set

And I'm the kid that falls

It's like the way we fight

The times I've cried

We come to blows

And every night

The passion's there

So it's got to be right

Right?

 

No I don't believe you

When you say don't come around here no more

I won't remind you

You said we wouldn't be apart

No I don't believe you

When you say you don't need me anymore

So don't pretend to

Not love me at all

 

I don't mind it

I still don't mind at all

It's like one of those bad dreams

When you can't wake up

Looks like you've given up

You've had enough

But I want more

No I won't stop

'Cause I just know

You'll come around

Right?

 

No I don't believe you

When you say don't come around here no more

I won't remind you

You said we wouldn't be apart

No I don't believe you

When you say you don't need me anymore

So don't pretend to

Not love me at all

 

Just don't stand there and watch me fall

'Cause I, 'cause I still don't mind at all

 

It's like the way we fight

The times I've cried

We come to blows

And every night

The passion's there

So it's got to be right,

Right?

 

No I don't believe you

When you say don't come around here no more

I won't remind you

You said we wouldn't be apart

No I don't believe you

When you say you don't need me anymore

So don't pretend to

Not love me at all

 

I don't believe you PINK I DONT BELIEVE YOU SONG.

 

Totally how i am feeling tonight about you.

I wish you would go away. Did you really mean that much to me? I want to be numb already like i do for my other exes! seriouslyyy. be gone.

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Ain't it funny I still tear up when I think back to what happened? I guess I'm almost over you as a person, but I'm not over the pain you caused me.

I hope this pain will fade eventually.

God. I have crazy trust issues now. =(. And to think, through everything all you did was lie. I've never cried in front of anyone the way I did you. Must have been a hoot for you right?

Wonder if you remember the look of pain in my eyes? Guess it wouldn't phase you either way. People like you are completely void of morals and empathy.

 

 

I pity you.

Edited by lalalollipops
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broken1414, that was awesome!

 

Bahahaa! Thanks! Just holding onto a little bit of anger, eh?! God, it sure feels good to get it out though! This thread is the best idea of the century! I've posted on this thread a few times, and always feel better afterwards. Have you ever seen someone and wanted to literally gouge their eyeballs out? That's how I feel about my ex....he hurt me more then anyone, anything ever.... The best part, I would actually send this message to him, so he could feel like the douch-bag he is, but then he would reply back, and I don't want to hear a single peep from him, he makes me miserable...

 

I also love your avatar! Awesome!

Edited by broken1414
just cause...
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Angry today. Really, really angry. And I really want to tell you that I hate you, just how much I hate you right now. I wish I'd felt this kind of anger almost 3 months ago when you came clean about your betrayal. I wish I'd thrown you out there and then and told you to never come back. I wish I'd not been so nice to you. Why have I been so nice to you?! I guess I'm just not capable of being horrible to the people I love, not capable of treating them like sh1t, unlike you. Does it make me a bigger person? I don't feel like a bigger person. I feel like a mug, like a doormat. I wish I'd not made those sobbing phonecalls when I felt like I would die without you, because y'know what? Clearly I'm not gonna die without you. In fact I'm going to live so much more than I have done in the last 7yrs, and then maybe, just maybe if I'm lucky enough I'll meet someone whose going to give me all the things i've missed out on for so long.

 

I hope she breaks your heart when she realises that you're not the person she thinks you are and that you can't give her the things she wants and needs.

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I hate Taylor Swift. Her stupid songs makes me cry so much. I miss listening to them and being able to actually listen to them

 

'Fearless' came on my shuffle today and I just lost it. I haven't cried for you in a few days- its actually felt like a year because I was literally crying for you every day recently....but today damn it got to me. Stupid song....I remember listening to that song so much Winter 10 when we were first together, driving around in the cold snowy days, how in love we were. It just sends me right back to that first week in January we spent together. I close my eyes and I'm right there....and it sucks....

So baby drive slow 'til we run out of road

In this one horse town, I wanna stay right here

In this passenger seat, you put your eyes on me

In this moment, now capture it, remember it

 

Ugh seriously just made me BAWL. I remember listening to this line, being in the car at the same time, the song literally describing EXACTLY how I felt at the moment....I remember how we kept making eye contact in mirror and looking away and giggling...it was so electrifying, but so sweet and innocent. That song just brings me back to that time, and ALL I want to so is forget that time and any other that I spent with you!

 

Part of me misses you and still loves you SO much....but part of me hates the CRAP out of you SO MUCH! Part of me hopes you are okay, happy, doing well, then another part hopes you are friggin miserable, I hope you NEVER find happiness with ANYONE. I hate feeling bitter and hating you....it's not easy to hate someone you still love SO much!! I need a friggin shrink...

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Ugh ugh ugh I hope you're happy with your girlfriend who honestly looks like the love child of Shrek and a sea horse!

 

I feel pretty bitter, obviously. Maybe it is easier now that I don't think the world of you but UGH I still feel so mad wondering why I wasted my life suffering when you were totally fine. I really thought you missed me...I am so so so so stupid.

 

I also learned in this relationship that just because I am a nice person doesn't mean I am all that. I really thought, in a way, that you had no right to leave me because I'm such a 'good person.' I finally realized that I'm really not that awesome. I am, but I am also all the things you criticized me for.

 

BUT if I saw you on the street I don't think I could look you in the face. After all, you stole from me! You may not consider it theft but trust me I definitely do, you didn't even bother trying to send me my massive load of stuff. how heartless can you possibly be. Plus you stole or threw away my sentimental tokens from childhood. That's just wrong.

 

And when I think about your parents I STILL feel sick to my stomach. Such as when I think about how they told you NOT to help me move out. I can see why you turned out the way you did...

 

But who cares right, your life went on just fine and your parents aren't exactly going to be punished by the almighty for their shallow values and selfishness. And so on.

I don't know what to think, every time I encounter such a lack of self awareness and compassion I feel so stunned. Why is this the norm in America? People aren't like this in other places.

 

i really hate you so damn much. I wish you understood how much you deserve my hatred. I don't want this to rule my life but I am so disappointed in you. You really have no sense of decency and it sickens to me to think of you now, pretending that you do. Ugh! I think I really will try to pretend you don't exist, otherwise I'm just going to go crazy.

 

I also wish your other old, old ex knew what a duplicitous ass you are! Does she know you basically had a second girlfriend, from what I know, at least emotionally speaking, for when she was away, working her ass off on another continent? I bet she has NO idea. I know you suck at being faithful, what does this chick have other than her 20 year old poon? Is that seriously enough, because she seems dumb as hell and looks like a 35 year woman who works at a fruit stand or something. Just waiting until the * * * * storm ensues.

 

In this respect, I feel really glad you dumped me. If you're truly happy and a better person now, then good for you. Your current gf does deserve that. I wish you all the happiness in the world because you're certainly never getting me back. I don't even want to give you a chance to regret that, you don't even deserve that. I'm so glad you and I will probably never run into each other again.

Edited by meoww
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Wow today is a good day because I feel so much better.

 

You are finally taking up much less space in my head. Which is a good thing, because I need all the brainpower I can get right now.

 

I am finally feeling myself slide into detachment and I don't even have a boyfriend right now. I'm seriously awesome. I have finally conquered some of my worst codependent attitudes.

 

I am letting go of the self doubt that you made fester in me. You always think you are so right about everything but that's not true, and it's truly your loss for not being flexible in your perspective. Anyway, I don't want to think about you too much today but I just wanted to say I don't need you, at all.

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im not sure what i feel, but the air of summer and the atmosphere that sweeps accross the night sky reminds me of u..or something else. i dont know. The feeling is very familiar, its peaceful yet painful. im not sure what the feeling was but all i wanted to do is freeze time whilst i stand there and look at the world. what my life as become. what you became. Many times i wish to see ur face or to see u see me with another guy. I dont know why i want utter revange but i do. I dont think i have fully grasp the whole idea of not having u in my life. i hate having enemies, i hate the fact that we were together for a year and then all the sudden u mean nothing to me. why did couldn't be just you? why did let me swin through the waters, why cant it just be you? im scared, im scared that i wont find anybody and im the only one left to be roaming around doing..what im doing now... i dont want to find another you, i want to find the right one. some days it would be nice to be with somebody who accepts me and loves me but thats just all fantasy. The fantasy that what is in my head is better than reality. i seem to do that alot. i find that for the guy ill be with will be the guy in my head. oh ur cousin, that could have gone so wrong with that and yet to watch u see how u would react would make my day. But that is just only temporarily. its never permanent which is exactly what i want. do i miss my ex?

no i dont, do i want him? no, i assume this is exactly how u feel about me, you stopped loving me and you stopped caring about me and all the sudden u left me behind. I dont want to think about u. i dont want to still think about u even after a year. what kind of person am i?

Im better than this. i am me and i am strong. so i can beat this. i did it once and i can do it again. Do it for myself and not for anybody else...

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What happened to all my resolve from yesterday? I really thought I was finally moving forward.

I feel really bad today. Since you blamed me for so much, I keep thinking it's my fault for losing something wonderful. Yet, I feel like you aren't trustworthy anyway so what's the point. I don't envy the next person in line who is probably going to get cheated on, somewhere down the road. I can't believe you think you cheat because you think you are so desirable. That has been changing now that you are getting older but it's depressing. So now you aren't a cheat just because you are a little older?

 

I have a hard time believing that. But I feel depressed wondering how she can make you commit but I can't. I always thought I'd have enough pride not to give into this feeling.

 

Is that all it comes down to? That it just hurts my pride? I don't think so...I shouldn't want to be with you, you are not right for me in so many ways:

 

1. You're way too conservative for me, really

2. You're not very creative (but then again, am I really? ugh I hate how you had to tear my self esteem down to get to where you are today. Why did you have to make me feel so bad about myself all the time?)

3. You're not funny

4. You really are insecure

5. You are not good with people

6. You are kind of boring...but I feel like I am too though

7. You have kind of a nasally voice, haha

8. You act really oblivious sometimes

9. Sometimes you don't seem as smart as you should...

10. You're just so conventional. (Is that a bad thing though?)

 

So you're not perfect.

Neither am I. Ugh and you left me it's not like I have a choice.

 

and you are a cheater...that's just inexcusable, and gross. I swear you are a perv, and I can only imagine it'll get worse with time.

 

That's so depressing. Why are there so many creeps in the world? Luckily it's actually a good thing that I'm getting older, if this is truly the case with all men I can deal with being alone. I am not going to settle for my delusions of an equal partnership. I used to think it was better to have some kind of relationship, that it meant you liked me better than all the other women that you view as sexual objects but WHO CARES? I can't believe that I grew up thinking black people are less intelligent than white people, that gay people are perverted, and that women are subordinate to men, and that it is sexy to be viewed as prostitute or a * * * * * . I'm not a * * * * * , and I don't need some Ivy League dowry either to compensate for whatever I may be lacking. You inhabit that * * * * ty world in my opinion. I guess I figured it would be nice to want to be a trophy wife of sorts, to be successful, attractive and conventional but if my heart was really in it I think I'd do it wouldn't I?

 

I rather be your * * * * * than the respectable wife you come home to and pretend to care about once in a while. I'm not your mother and I never wanted to be that. You didn't even get this.

 

I have such a hard time believing all is well in your family. Something about them seriously gave me the creeps. Like that all of you were just a bunch of strangers pretending to be a family. Was that a mistake in my perception? Maybe I was looking for that, when your family is actually very strong and just not as affectionate as I am used to. Gah I don't know...There was a false sense of honor and loyality, but again, maybe that means nothing more than the fact that they kind of seem like a bunch of douchebags. Which is a shame, what a waste of an education and all the resources at your disposal. Plus your grandfather was a deserter! what a tool!!

 

You're the same way, you think you are too good to help other people without getting anything back. THATS SO MESSED UP. Seriously, why do you plan on going to med school? I don't get it despite the fact that you rather do an md phd. You'd have made a much a better banker, or god anything. You don't have the people skills for that though. So science may be a better fit, no one can dismiss you out of hand for being a douche if they need you. I keep saying the same things over and over in my head so hopefully writing them down will help me get past it. What's wrong with you? Why are you so crazy that you fail to see past any of this? Am I just the jealous prole? I don't think so... I really wish this wasn't the reality I inherited. This world makes absolutely no sense. No wonder I feel so alienated. I really don't feel depressed, I just feel sane. But why are most truly liberal people such tools as well? Why are they usually so lazy and incompetent? well to answer for myself, its because I feel powerless and scared.

 

Anyway, we are obviously at odds ideologically. Which never works, well even that doesn't bother me but the fact remains you dumped my ass. Why do I care so much? I'm so lame. You've forgotten me, right? I think so. I think you really forgot me a long time ago. I wish I didn't still love you despite all your flaws. It's probably the same thing as loving someone who is a drug addict, it's just not a good idea.

 

I miss how you opened up my world to all kind of possibilities I never considered. I feel so bad now, like I'm really stupid. I know I just got a bad education but now that I'm aware of the caste system in America I feel so useless. It's really unfair. I don't know how I'm supposed to overcome all these obstacles. Where I grew up, intelligence was believed to be innate! That's so incredibly stupid. I can't believe I was raised in such a horrible hick town. Anyway, thanks for nothing...I glad you exposed my naivete though. I was really unhappy when it was all unveiled but I'm used to it now. But I still hate you, you treated me like garbage just because I don't have your pedigree. I am not garbage.

 

And stop pretending it was anything other than that you liar!! or perhaps it was just that my * * * * weren't big enough or something. Regardless, I wish you wouldn't have blamed it all my flaws rather than your desire to trade up (which I still really don't see how you did!! seriously) You are seriously a calculating POS who lied about absolutely everything, thank god you are getting what you deserve to some extent. You don't even know what you're missing in me, or in life. So I really hope I get the last laugh. I can't wait until you're like 50 and see what a fabulous life I have created for myself and realized how boring and meaningless your own has been. good riddance you are f-ing ridiculous. and most people know it.

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Today is a sad day. I started out feeling strong and "oh yeah I can do this! Healing here I come!" But this is humbling. I miss you. I even checked my old email address, the one I gave you, to see if you somehow emailed me. Of course you didnt. I told you not to contact me. And you, being so submissive, obeyed.

 

Oh well, on to the next day. Tomorrow has to be better.

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Feeling like crap today after quite a few days of feeling good. Maybe it's because I saw you posted on Rachel's photo that she was hot. She just broke up with her boyfriend, and I have this sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach that you'll start dating her.

 

You promised you'd keep in touch. That was 2 months ago. I know I haven't contacted you either, but I know if you truly cared, you would've at least sent me a random text. You could've told me whether or not you got the package with all your stuff in it. You could've asked whether or not I want my things back.

 

I'll see you for the first time since before the break-up on Sunday. It's not fair. You've been such a jerk to me, but you got all the friends while I only got pain and bitterness. I want to yell at you. I want to scream all the things I've been holding inside.

 

You promised you'd never hurt me. You swore you'd never leave. Why am I not good enough? What do I lack that Rachel and Caitlyn have? Why aren't I worthy of your love? Why don't I deserve a break-up in person? Why don't you even want to talk to me anymore? Am I so easy to forget?

 

And if you start dating Rachel, good for you. Let's hope she's faithfully taking her meds and seeing her shrink.

Edited by thelastsong
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I feel for you. Im in a similar situation: I felt good for a while, and then felt like crap. Plus, I also have a feeling about a certain female friend of his,and him. But whether THAT feeling actually comes to pass or not, for him, time will tell.

 

You're not alone. (hugs)

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It's 3 months today since 'the night of awfulness' and to be honest, I've been fine most of the day. I hadn't really thought about it/you too much. I went out to the cinema after work, but then on the walk home I started thinking about everything. Then my mum texted me and told me a funny story about my dad and I just had the urge to share it with you because its something you would have found funny when we were together. So I texted you, like an idiot. I've been doing so well at NC and now I go and ruin it by sending you a stupid 'funny' text message *MASSIVE SIGH AT MYSELF* And I know you won't respond and I'll keep checking my phone for the rest of the night, like a loser, hoping you'll reply. And then when you don't reply I'll convince myself it's because you're with her! Meh. And no doubt you'll think I'm texting you because I've been moping around being sad about you, when I really haven't!! Urgh!

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now instead of obsessing over this, I have to deal with my own problems, THIS is a tall order. At least I finally stopped all the wishful thinking and the sentimental gestures toward you (even if you never knew.)

 

You were a wonderful distraction. Still though, why do you prefer her??? I really don't get it. I totally get why you like better, actually. She's reliable, goal-oriented, stylish, even if she's not that mature she looks mature. She looks like the next Michelle Obama or something. That's the part I don't understand. I know it's so shallow but seriously? She wasn't exactly hit with the ugly stick by any means but still.

 

You both look great together, sort of. anyway, you look very happy so thats good. Good for me, I can't pretend you really secretly love me or something. That is what is scary, you're a stranger to me!! I mean, you kind of always were. I hate how you make me feel SO insecure. It sucks so much. You know my life was about 100000 billion times harder than yours and you expect me to understand how to achieve your lifestyle? Yeah anyway, you really lack humanity--again who cares....

 

so I hope today will be a better day. One where I can do the things I enjoy doing without feeling like your critical eye is judging everything I do. You know, it's incredible how wrong you are!!! I've changed and learned so much, I only have to take care of my job and education and I swear I will surpass you. How embarrassing of me to talk this way. You are suuuuuuuch a PIG. I don't want to be with you anymore, did you know that? Isn't that amazing, I never thought I would feel this way. I always thought you were the most interesting, most thoughtful, brilliant and handsome guy. But I think there has to be something better since you think you have found that in HER.

 

You're so creepy just like my other ex, you like these subordinate young women so they worship you and you can mold them into whatever you want. That's so nasty. I'm glad I won't fall prey to such men anymore. I really want an equal partnership. Your current gf is probably becoming your equal but the beginning of your relationship was so weird...I wish wasn't wrapped up in YOUR LIFE. it sucks. I wish you had been kinder to me, I deserved your compassion but you are such a heartless person.

 

You don't care right, because you have everything you need? Well, we'll see. It may not happen today, or even in 5 years but maybe you'll understand what I went through someday, if you get sick, or lose your job, or get cheated on, or lose friends, or experience true hardship. We will see how you feel then. And if you never do, I don't care. Thanks to your cruelty, I actually appreciate life now in a way I never did before. So thanks for that. Everyday I have so much to be thankful for because I had to change everything, and it's all because you are a horrible person. Thank you, in trying to soothe the pain I've learned so much about music, science, sports, politics, art, friendship, working hard and I'm much more beautiful now too, and it's such sweet revenge to never let you know. It'll be even better when that day comes that I don't even care. I'm a stranger to you now too and always will be

 

By the way you are a racist...and you exploit women of color for your sexual pleasure. Wow she's so lucky to have you....

Edited by meoww
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AG... you break me down each day I see you here at work. I am on vacation from grad school, and this, this is what I come home to? I need to work to make money, so I have to be here, but walking past you in the hall and being ignored as if I am a speck of dust is so hurtful. Its been 4 months NC other than when I said hi 2 months ago when i was here working and now you still cant get over yourself and say hello to me... i dont understand

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Dear Ex,

 

On a scale from 1 to 10, or worse to best, I'd say I'm doing about a 7.7. I'm doing ok. Sometimes, I wonder if you're thinking about me, and to what degree. But fortunately, that's slowly becoming less. It's no longer consuming my thoughts AT ALL TIMES to think about you. Dont kid me, I do think about you. But I'm learning to re-adjust to you not being the focal point of my life.

 

It's odd. Even though we're done, there's still some sick part of me that wants you to agonize over me. Maybe you do. Maybe you don't. I'll never know. Until, probably way after the fact. Anyway, life goes on.

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