Post here instead of contacting your ex!

[hopelessincan]

Well there you go. You saw all my cards and the ones in the deck. Son of a .............. why couldnt you just leave well enough alone? I was better angry. Not ok, but better not feeling anything but anger. Now youve got me crying. Well havent cried like this in a month so maybe its good. Its finally come out and I can get on with things.

 

I think my denial is over. Yay. Step in the right direction.

[miki1611]

Duplicate post

[miki1611]

Hey you,

 

I dreamed of you last night and some nights before. I've been having dreams of you this past week. Probably because I miss you. We haven't spoken since that day I told you I hated you and never wanted to hear from you again. But no matter how much I tried, I couldn't hate you. I was angry with you but I still can't hate you.

 

I miss you but I will not back down this time. I demand respect. I cannot accept the way you treated me. This is not my fight anymore.

 

I've said all I wanted to tell you that day. All except 'I miss you so much, L' but I think that will forever be left unsaid now because I decided to move on without you, without us. I miss you but I will not live in the past anymore.

[3Tears]

I would have done anything for you, anything...

[Destroyed 33]

I had a good weekend. I dont know how. I hung out with a bunch of old friends that you hate that I have not seen in many many years. They supported me. They were very happy to see me after all this time. I spent the night partying with them. They were all wasted and I spent a lot of time being comforted by a two smoking hot lesbians and a few other girls that wanted to spend the night in bed with me. It was pretty nuts. I didnt spend the night and was a complete gentleman. Good time though. I went on a date yesterday for the first time. At first I thought the girl was intense, outspoken, the opposite of refined and really didnt know what to make of her. She is a loud mouth with no filter and swears like a truck driver. The more time I spent with her the more I began to like her though. I actually started to become attracted to her which is really weird because you know how picky I am. The best part is, she clearly became attracted to me toward the end and really wants to get together again. I could tell that she was giddy as I dropped her off and as she was getting out of the jeep she was grinning ear to ear and said "I will DEFINITELY be calling you by mid week". It felt really good to have someone looking at me with eyes like that again.

 

You are quickly coming down from the pedestal that I have had you on for all of these years. I am now finally above you. You are weak, pathetic, helpless, disgusting and selfish. You are not worthy of forgiveness. You deserve to be in a physically abusive relationship, get STD's, get knocked up and be, rejected, petrified and lost. I have always been humble and the furthest thing from arrogant but I am better than you. You do not deserve what I have to offer. You are truly probably the most beautiful person I have ever met in my life but your heart is stone. You pretended with me for god knows how long. It was all an act. You cant love. You are sad. You are sick. You are broken. You are hopeless. The happiness that you left me to find does not exist. You are destine to be miserable. Like a heroin addict chasing that unattainable high. Kind of like your mom actually. You are right on track to end up like she did and probably too f****** stupid to even see it. Lets just pray that we all just get exactly what we deserve. Deal?

 

Well, hope you are having a blast with my replacement. It will catch up with the both of you soon. This is how I feel today. Wish me luck with journey down the road to healing! I love you.

[bobbob]

Dear A,

 

I've been having dreams about you every night for the past 4 days. These dreams were always so vivid as if they were a glimpse into the future although that's probably only my desperation and hope acting out again. In all these dreams it was about us talking about reconciling. In one of those dreams I hugged you while sitting down and I swear i could feel the warmth and your heartbeat just like the old times. I miss you. I love you. And I can't stop thinking and dreaming about you. Last nights dream was about us somewhere that looked very romantic, we were walking hand in hand and I brought up the topic of us getting back together. You giggled and told me it was still too soon. I nudged you a tad bit and you agreed while you did that adorable face of yours. I then said it's okay if you think it's too soon, I don't want to rush this, I want to make it work. You then just giggled and said its okay and grabbed my arm and got closer to me. It all seemed so real. Waking up and realizing that we broke up was so painful. A part of me still hopes you'll come back one day. That all these dreams i've been having were not dreams, but glimpses into our future.

[hopelessincan]

we are screwed. almost told you i loved you. thank god i had the sense not to. told you ten times i hate you. ya. we are screwed up. I love you though. a Lot. more than i realized. it was nice talking to you though. xoxo

setting myself up for a heartbreak...........i know that........cant let you go............and it seems you cant either.......but i willl lose in the end............i dont care right now......bad but id rather have you a little than not at all

good thing i didnt tell you that

[dansmi12345]

You're pathetic. You can't function without a relationship. You're the most co-dependent person I know. Why don't you actually learn to be on your own for a bit? It's honestly sad, because all you do is jump from one relationship from another. You did it before me and now you've done it after me. You'll never get over your depression that way. Your whole life will be a series of relationships until one of them sticks, and then you'll just play the devoted wife and do whatever your husband wants you to do. You have no mind of your own.

[3Tears]

I saw your sister today... all the memories and feelings just flooded back in for some reason, it was like I was seeing you... I miss you so goddamn much I wish things weren't going like this...

[dasnico]

Well, here I am again. Straight after work I start crying my eyes out because I've done nothing but think about you all day. Even when I force myself to be engaged in what I'm doing, you're still in the back of my head. Back when this all started you told me you could sense when I'm crying and it made you cry too. I'm sure that's not the case anymore. I'm sick of crying and I'm sick of being so upset. Everyone tells me to find other ways of occupying myself, and as hard as I try, I just can't stop thinking about you. I miss everything about you... your voice, your smell, your touch, those eyes. This all doesn't seem right. When we almost broke up the first time I told you how floored and devastated I would be if it really happened. Well, thanks to me, here we are. And exactly how I thought I would be. I got a job offer where you live today. I spent so many months reaching out to people to make it possible to be down there with you and be able to work. How bad all this timing has been.

[sungolds]

Hearing you tell me that it would be "high risk/high gain" with your "best friend" hurt me beyond belief. It's like you forgot how much I once meant to you and how much our relationship meant to you. You guys might get along famously, but he can't be that good for you. He's not a man; he's a boy! I don't understand how you can't see this. I love you for who you were- not the woman you were to me towards the end. You can't blame me for everything. You were also at fault. And the fact that you can't see this tells me you are even more immature than I initially thought. You have everything else in your life together, but you can't seem to communicate at all in your intimate relationships. There's a reason why your relationships have a common theme and why you end them- you leave before you can actually work on the areas worth working on. And then you jump into another relationship before working on yourself. You think people just don't "understand" you, but really, you just don't understand yourself and continue to damage yourself in the process.

 

I do love you, and I don't regret being with you. I just wished that you could see what's happening. Part of me wants you back because there's still more to learn and discover and experience, but the other part of me just wants to never speak with you again.

[ezra]

Man, after all this time, all the strategies that I've read about getting back with your ex, all is BULLCRAP. You shouldn't be playing games with your ex's mind, you shouldn't be playing games with yourself, wondering if he will call you, wondering what he's doing, if he's thinking of you. If your ex really LOVED you he wouldn't have left you. He would have tried to work things out, despite all the mistakes. He would give HEAVEN AND THE MOON to take you back, they would do ANYTHING. But things are complicated because they simply don't love us enough and that's the cruel reality. in the moment we accept that our love wasn't enough to inspire change and that we deserve something better than spending sleepless nights, texting them with caution, ignoring them, seeing which call we will ignore, then we can START to find ourselves again. That's what i've learned. if they realize they have made a mistake, then you will be in full power and capacity to act like an adult and take the best decision.

[janut1]

Dear G,

 

Someone told me yesterday that you might have cheated on me. I will say allegedly cheated on me, since I have no real proof. I was a bit in shock since I really didn't feel like you had, but maybe I just ignored the signs. I really am not sure. Part of me wants to ask you directly, but then what will that do for me? If the answer is yes, then I will start the hurt all over and who needs that. If the answer is no, I may still not believe you since you are a master at lying to people. So I won't ask, but now I know that I made the right decision to move on. I would never trust you again and I would never believe you anyway. I just get so mad that I trusted you in my home, with my kids and my friends and family and you just f*** me over. I should of known better and I should of not given you the second and third chance that I did. I just loved you and wanted us to work so badly, but it bit me in the arse.

 

So consider this a GOODBYE letter. You are NOT who I thought you were and it is so sad to know that my trust, love and intentions where given to a person who does not deserve one bit of it.

 

J

[bobbob]

Dear A,

 

I found out that you've been video calling regularly with a guy. Funny how when we were together you didn't want to video call at all because you said it was too expensive. I honestly never thought you would do this to me. All the reasons you gave for the breakup became null after hearing this. You lied to me. I can't and don't even want to imagine what sorts of things you and him are doing. But i noticed you aren't happy. A part of me is happy that you're not happy because it feeds my feelings that I was a good match for you and I made you happy. But another part of me wishes that i could just take away all the pain. I love you still. And I'm hoping that this new guy or rebound guy would just prove to you how wonderful and dedicated of a boyfriend I was. That you should give us a second chance. I know i'd still take you back. Albeit I would make you make up for everything you did. I feel this way because I can feel that we match so well. I don't know why you decided to break things off with me but we matched so well. And I for one, despite everything you've done, am willing to try again. I can only hope you would come to the same realization as me one day. Until then I want to move on. I want to be happy again. I can't let this bring me down.

[sungolds]

I love you. I hate you. I miss you.

[bibliophile01]

HJ

 

I fecking miss you so much.

How could you do this to me?

Why can't you just reply to me at least once?

Are you completely removing me from your life?

Can't we even stay as friends?

What did I do to deserve this treatment from you?

Did I hurt you? I am so sorry if I did. I never want to hurt you in any way. You know that.

Please call me. I need to hear your voice. My life is shxt right now.

 

Your Mxssy

[bibliophile01]

Gaaaaawd, HJ!

 

I want to tackle you and slap you and kiss you like it's nobody's business;

tell you you are an idiot and say I forgive you, it's okay. And everything is back to normal.

 

 

[miss_sunshine]

Bubby I miss you so much and I wonder how you are going. It has been almost five weeks now since I have seen your face and almost two weeks since you sent me that picture message. I hope you are okay and work is going well. I hope you are looking after Chi. I came home from the gym last night and driving home I was thinking how you used to text me to see what time I would be home. How I would walk in and give you a hug and a kiss and you would have tea cooking. And we would talk about our days. Nothing is the same without you and I just miss you and know that in some ways I always will. There is so much I wish I could say. I truly thought you would have reached out by now. Not necessarily to get back together but I would have thought you would have needed some closure or something. I wonder if your silence means you are moving on or you and guilty or just do not know what to say. I guess I will never truly know. I miss you and I wish you were here baby. Sending you all my love. xxx

[fed up]

Hey P.

I was just at our favorite grocery store and it wasn't the same without you there joking around with the cantaloupes and everything, in that immature way only you seem to do. When did it get so hard? Why weren't we able to fix it? I'm sorry I kept breaking up with you, it just hurt so much that you seemed irritated all the time and you were pulling away more and more. I stopped trusting you. I miss you a lot.

[Destroyed 33]

The only thing I have been thinking for the past few days is "How could you do this to me?". The girl that I had been with for the past 16 years would not have done this. She was not selfish and cold. She may not have been the most independent person but I thought she at least had some decency.

 

You tricked me. I never thought I would let me self be duped like that again by you. I was on guard but also at a point where I trusted you. I needed to and you earned that trust.

 

I dont know. I dont know what to do. I am just depressed and exhausted lately. I have been trying so hard just to function every day and I dont know how much more I can put in. You were my fuel.

 

This is so hard. You have pretty much left me in between a rock and a hard place. I want you so bad but I cant even consider taking you back into my life because of how you did this to me. How can I even consider a future with you? How can I consider a future without you?

 

You are certainly holding firm on this. I have no doubt that this is exactly how you want things right now. Completely disconnected from me. I did nothing to deserve such pain though. I dont know how you can sleep at night. I treated you with love and respect and lived my life for our future together and you made it seem like you were all in right up until the day of the break up.

 

How can you not call me? How can you not miss me? I know you told me that you dont love me anymore but I dont believe that for a second. I know you do but I also know that you needed to do this. It had to be done, but the way that you did it was beyond uncalled for. How could you cheat on me and run away with a guy you barely even know? How could you not consider me, the guy who lived his life for you? I love you so much. More than anyone has ever loved anyone ever.

 

I dont know how many more times I can say it. I would have never hurt you. I would have always been there for you and done anything for you. I love you so much and you know it. Now your mission is to forget me? I want you back but I cant have you. It hurts so much.

[ezra]

I feel pathetic having to resort to writing things on the Internet about my feelings. God I have talked to every friend I have and I cannot keep living like this. Its been a month yes, but our real break up was 4 days ago when I told you that I no longer wanted to contact you. That I no longer wanted you to talk to me. You asked so calmly if I wanted you to stop contacting me... You never begged for me. You never fought for me. What was that bulls-t card that you gave me 3 months ago saying that you would die for me, fight for me, that theres no love like our love? What the f.ck happened my little male mermaid... I miss you so much. I cant stop being a mess, crying, being bipolar, I cannot function normally. I wonder if you think of me. I know this probably cant be fixed, because you simply dont want to change. The love that you felt for me wasnt enough, and you said that so many times that my heart broke completely. I want to move on. Now I can understand when people said that they were tired of feeling depressed and feeling guilty about it. God knows I cant help it. I dont want to go out, my self esteem is a mess, and I just want to be on my own now... with you by my side. I miss you so much baby. I wish there will come a day when I can call you my love again... With your permission. Love is no about possession and I try to learn this from the hard way. I know this NC thing will be in the long haul. God I think I could die from sadness, but I must survive, somehow...

[Brotherhood67]

Thinking of you today, my first day of holidays.

I have been thinking ? How long has it been for you that you didn't feel anything for me, how long since you decided that I would simply be a tool, a nice guy suffering from this LDR with you which you enjoyed so much it made you cheat on me numerous times ? That I would be a mean to meet your selfish end, someone who pays your rent, your energy bills, your taxes and even give you some presents because I loved you for real.

And you didn't. You lied since day one, 8 years ago. You never felt anything for me, never loved me. Never.

You are quite simply the single most atrocious individual I have ever met. And I fell in love with you. Sad.

[Destroyed 33]

How is your plan working? Is it becoming easier to completely forget about me as the weeks go by? When was the last time you cried when reality hit you? Does reality hit you? I cant imagine that you dont miss me and still have very strong feelings for me at least. I just cant comprehend that. But that is what you are portraying. How can you not be a complete mess? How can you not frequently ask yourself if this was all a mistake? I just dont get it. I have accepted that you needed a break from me and it was inevitable even though prior to the split, I had no idea. I get it. This was meant to be. The way you went about it on the other hand is a whole nother discussion.

 

I just cant imagine what your life looks like now on a daily basis. You work, probably spend a whole lot of time with this new guy having a lot of fun but dont you realize that the infatuation will eventually dim and a more predictable routine will develop? You will end up discovering flaws about this guy too in time. Maybe even major issues. He may end up kicking you to the curb some time. Then what? Its all an exciting little fairy tale for you right now but you must have considered that things will normalize and you have ultimately set yourself back 10 years to where we were.

 

I dont know. I miss you. I love you. I hate you for putting me in this position with no option for me to even try to work on things for us. You cut the chord and I am falling endlessly through space. I cant even see a way to get back.

 

You were everything to me and I am not ashamed of that. I loved you unconditionally. You were supposed to be the mother of my children, my wife, my sole mate until the end. I really thought I knew what we were. I never wanted anyone else.

 

You gave me purpose and then in an instant ripped it away. Now what do I have? I cold lifeless house, a sad dog and no will to live a life without you. I didnt sign up for this. I dont hope that you are happy. I hope that you are regretful. I hope that there was a few points in the past few weeks where you picked up your phone and almost dialed my number. I dont know. I dont have any idea who you are. You are doing a great job managing this though but what is painful to think about is how easy it is for you. It almost seems like you dont care at all. I cant make sense of it.

[3Tears]

I can't seem to get you out of my head... its been 5 months and the thoughts of you and memories are so fresh still, I'm keeping myself busy all the time, I've been working out and I still can't get you out of my head... I miss you so much, when will this ever stop, my life feels empty.

[healingishard]

its just such a bummer that you didnt see me as enough...that we aren't each others happy endings bcuz u chose to get in way of it. I so dearly would have tried to have been yours. 16 years of lost passion to make up for, a true love, a smile always, and a future with someone you know would never stop trying. thats what you gave up bcuz....well i really dont know why. such a disappointment. my heart led me down a deadend path, that ive yet to figure out why. i guess this chapter of my life had to end for something better...? i have to think so...but its still a disappointment knowing its you....that im leaving behind forever. i so would like to believe it wasnt but ha i know better.

 

welp as im writing this my friends music app plays a stainD song and ugh, not something ill ever be listening to again and if im ever capable id be proud. i wasnt even listening to the effing song and the tears streamed...no thanks im done crying over this spilt milk. i can deal with the disappointment, the occasional sadness...i understand sometimes theres pains we just have to learn to live with. i'll never be glad we didnt stand a better chance but im moving on a lil more each day and the realization hurts in and of itself but i want us both to lead happy lives...find some happiness please? smile often? find ur smile and let it lead you to something special. its quite the smile.