summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 good points. thanks all of you for the great advice. I'm sure no one should take ppl's post personally. I think i might meet him and find out more whether my doubts have grounds. thanks. keep us posted and have fun Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 My brother died and I chose to go back home to be there for my mom. I lived on my own and have a great job. Does that make me a loser/momma's boy? Should I have to explain that to every girl early on? Seems to me I would be pulling the sympathy card... Nope, it makes you a good son, My friend also did this. And when his Mom was ok, he moved back out Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 like i said, it's a good reason to move back in with the parents..... but what about dating? were you in a position to date? how did your mom react if you brought a girl home with you, or you didn't come home one night because you were at a girls' house. some parents are cool with that, others are not. my mom's first husband had an overbearing mother. when my mom and her first husband were newlyweds sitting on the couch, the MIL would squeeze in between them and tell her, 'you stole my son from me!' Creepy!! Not going to lie.. Bring different girls home did get weird... It would of been easier to have a GF. I didn't feel cool telling girls my situation either.. I bet some girls wrote me off w/o knowing the details too.. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Remember that kids, you aren't allowed an opinion unless you meet the certain age requirement or you are at least this tall. *brings out the tape measurer* that was not my point. My point is, she prob meets guys who still live at home which at that age is acceptable. Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 that was not my point. My point is, she prob meets guys who still live at home which at that age is acceptable. I was basing my comment on a person over the age of 30 living at home, like the thread states?.......... Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 My ex-bf was in his thirties and lived at home, but then he spent all his money on booze and toys, AND he had an overbearing mother. Dating him was not easy. It made it easier though, because his mom adored me (thought I could help him grow up), but still I look forward to the weekends he spent with me at my place vs me staying the weekends at his parents' house. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Have fun and good luck, fat cat. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I was basing my comment on a person over the age of 30 living at home, like the thread states?.......... the reality is, people at different ages have different perspectives on life. It's not about being older and wiser, it's about my needs vs your needs and my needs in a relationship are MUCH different than that of a woman 1/2 my age. Fact! Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 That's too bad. I know some really great guys who have multiple roommates. My one friend is a good example. He's a school teacher. Loves his job but makes maybe 35k? He works a second job in the summer but it's not enough to afford a place of his own in the area. He gets written off because of his situation.... I am not saying they can't be great guys...I am just saying that I want someone who lives alone..I don't want to share space, the bathroom etc with other people and live with their messes. I hate dirty bathrooms and the more people using a bathroom, the dirtier it gets. I prefer taking a dump knowing that it is only my partner hearing the musical sounds coming out of my butt and the splash in the toilet, and not a whole audience. I like peace and quiet..and the more people living in the place, the noisier it will be and everyone will have their own schedule thus maybe some will be making noise at 11:30 when I am trying to sleep. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Not going to lie.. Bring different girls home did get weird... It would of been easier to have a GF. I didn't feel cool telling girls my situation either.. I bet some girls wrote me off w/o knowing the details too.. and i do want to reiterate that i think it's really awesome and sweet that you were there for your mother, i'm sure she really appreciated it. but it sounds like you understand what i'm talking about, the logistics of dating when you are living with your parents as an adult. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I am not saying they can't be great guys...I am just saying that I want someone who lives alone..I don't want to share space, the bathroom etc with other people and live with their messes. I hate dirty bathrooms and the more people using a bathroom, the dirtier it gets. I prefer taking a dump knowing that it is only my partner hearing the musical sounds coming out of my butt and the splash in the toilet, and not a whole audience. I like peace and quiet..and the more people living in the place, the noisier it will be and everyone will have their own schedule thus maybe some will be making noise at 11:30 when I am trying to sleep. LOL.........oh goodness, I got a visual! Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I am not saying they can't be great guys...I am just saying that I want someone who lives alone..I don't want to share space, the bathroom etc with other people and live with their messes. I hate dirty bathrooms and the more people using a bathroom, the dirtier it gets. I prefer taking a dump knowing that it is only my partner hearing the musical sounds coming out of my butt and the splash in the toilet, and not a whole audience. I like peace and quiet..and the more people living in the place, the noisier it will be and everyone will have their own schedule thus maybe some will be making noise at 11:30 when I am trying to sleep. no one will hear my magical noises, i'll hold it in, lol. my bathroom also has a very noisy vent fan, which i think is exceptional. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 and i do want to reiterate that i think it's really awesome and sweet that you were there for your mother, i'm sure she really appreciated it. but it sounds like you understand what i'm talking about, the logistics of dating when you are living with your parents as an adult. ditto.....I think that is awesome also Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 like i said, it's a good reason to move back in with the parents..... but what about dating? were you in a position to date? how did your mom react if you brought a girl home with you, or you didn't come home one night because you were at a girls' house. some parents are cool with that, others are not. my mom's first husband had an overbearing mother. when my mom and her first husband were newlyweds sitting on the couch, the MIL would squeeze in between them and tell her, 'you stole my son from me!' Creepy!! Hmmm, quite frankly I can see my dog doing exactly that! Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 and i do want to reiterate that i think it's really awesome and sweet that you were there for your mother, i'm sure she really appreciated it. but it sounds like you understand what i'm talking about, the logistics of dating when you are living with your parents as an adult. I think it was hard for me b/c I didn't just date one. Sometimes it would be multiple people in a short period. One would of been fine. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I am not saying they can't be great guys...I am just saying that I want someone who lives alone..I don't want to share space, the bathroom etc with other people and live with their messes. I hate dirty bathrooms and the more people using a bathroom, the dirtier it gets. I prefer taking a dump knowing that it is only my partner hearing the musical sounds coming out of my butt and the splash in the toilet, and not a whole audience. I like peace and quiet..and the more people living in the place, the noisier it will be and everyone will have their own schedule thus maybe some will be making noise at 11:30 when I am trying to sleep. You may of beat out CD for my new sig! Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I think it was hard for me b/c I didn't just date one. Sometimes it would be multiple people in a short period. One would of been fine. lol, all that's missing is the blind/senile grandmother yelling out, "Hi Samantha!" and you tell her, 'that's not samantha!' and she says, 'oh, that must be heather....' and you say, 'uh...... no....' Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 the reality is, people at different ages have different perspectives on life. It's not about being older and wiser, it's about my needs vs your needs and my needs in a relationship are MUCH different than that of a woman 1/2 my age. Fact! Read what I said again... I wasn't talking about needs. Fact. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 lol, all that's missing is the blind/senile grandmother yelling out, "Hi Samantha!" and you tell her, 'that's not samantha!' and she says, 'oh, that must be heather....' and you say, 'uh...... no....' Haha, we had a silent agreement. I never talked about and she never brought it up.. Except the one time when a girl lost her shoes.. She was like I know these aren't mine!! Link to comment
Ariel85 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I prefer taking a dump knowing that it is only my partner hearing the musical sounds coming out of my butt and the splash in the toilet, and not a whole audience. Um, never been married, right? Link to comment
VioletFig Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I've been talking to a guy online for a while, and recently found out he's still living at home, according to him, to save money... I don't earn that much money myself but i do hope my spouse be able to make as much as I do, geez, 30+ and still living at home. should I just stop our online communication? yes you should stop your communication if you cant appreciate a person saving money in this economy. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Um, never been married, right? Nope, never married, never lived with a guy. Link to comment
Seymore Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I didn't assume anything. I toughed it out, so I think everyone is capable of trying to tough it out and if someone did, and they failed and need to move back home, then cool, but if a person doesn't even try and moves back because it's easier, then not so cool in my books. A momma's boy is defined as a grown man who is still depended on his mother. And if a 35 yr old man still has his Mom washing his undies, well........... This was also never stated. I'm not saying that him never having lived on his own isn't a problem, but the assumptions coming from left and right are totally unfair. To retort, you stated: run! this was the biggest issue with my ex. Who is 44 and is so attached to his mom it's creepy! When she simply mentioned he had "a strong bond" with his parents. Again, not about you or your situation, so I don't see where some creepy attachment with his mom came into play. Dubb said: "No it's not.. Seems like she may have some hang ups with guys who are close to their moms." You replied: "I think most women have hang ups with men who are momma's boys" And that's where I got your association of momma's boys with guys close to their moms. Link to comment
iLiveWithMyMom Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I’m the guy fatcat1999 has been talking to online…. Just kidding- wouldn’t that be funny though? Anyway, my 2 cents is this. fatcat1999, the first thing you need to ask him is why he’s living with his parents and what his plans are in the next year or two. Ask him straight out; don’t beat around the bush- you have a right to know. If you don’t like his answer, then walk away. Again that’s your right, and it’s completely fair. In all honesty though, if I were in your shoes, I would walk away now before you have any chance of getting attached to this guy. I tend to agree with the cynics in this thread and think that getting involved with someone that lives with their parents (no matter how noble the reason), only adds unnecessary baggage to the relationship. A lot of times, you’ll feel like you’re not only dating them, but also their parents. Think about the freedom you enjoy, living on your own; then ask yourself if you’d rather be with a guy who also has that kind of freedom, versus someone whose living situation is so utterly restrictive. Why anyone would put themselves in a situation to choose the latter is beyond me. The person could be the greatest person in the world, but the practicality of the situation will routinely rear its ugly head. Also, frankly speaking, I don’t think adults that depend on their parents for financial support need to be looking to get into any sort of committed relationship. I think it’s very selfish and shows poor prioritization of their life. Their energy could obviously be better spent elsewhere. Also, like someone else said, we all have problems but the majority of us don’t run home to mommy and daddy to help solve them. I have zero sympathy or tolerance for these types of people. Specifically, I think the whole, "I moved home to save money to buy a house" excuse is so lame. Link to comment
ConfusedDater Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 No Man should be dating if he is over 30 years old and having to live with parents Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.