guy 30+ yr old living at home

[Miss Firecracker]

I never gave my opinion, but I will.

 

I would date a man that lived with his mother if I LIKED his mother.

[Dubb]

I don't know about others in the thread. I would never assume something. I just mentioned one possiblity, which keeps going right over your head. ONE possibility is what I said. I didn't say that is what a person should assume, but something that could be a POSSIBILITY.

 

No, it's not my opinion. It is a FACT that there are MANY people, men and women, who have mental illness that live with their parents. Not MOST, just many. Hopefully we are clear now.

 

Hah, I hate to drag this out. Unless you show me some proof to back up your argument it's an opinion. I understand what you're saying and I don't doubt there are some people that need to live at home but times have changed and so have the reasons people stay in the nest.

 

It's like me saying all women who live at home at 30+ are just waiting for a guy to come take care of them...

[Dubb]

I never gave my opinion, but I will.

 

I would date a man that lived with his mother if I LIKED his mother.

 

Hah, I was not expecting that. I'm beginning to appreciate your honesty.

[Miss Firecracker]

Hah, I hate to drag this out. Unless you show me some proof to back up your argument it's an opinion. I understand what you're saying and I don't doubt there are some people that need to live at home but times have changed and so have the reasons people stay in the nest.

 

It's like me saying all women who live at home at 30+ are just waiting for a guy to come take care of them...

 

 

No, go ahead and drag it out.

[Dubb]

No, go ahead and drag it out.

 

No point.. Sounds like your future hubby is currently living in his moms basement..=)

[Honey Pumpkin]

Try not to be so judgmental. For all you know he could've been a homeowner, fell back on hardtimes and/or lost his home and is working feverishly to get himself back out there.

 

Or

 

 

Say he spent most of his 20s living in apartments and realizing that he could move back home for a while and use that rent money to save and purchase a home someday. Whereas living in apartment and paying monthly rent and/or other expenses may have prevented him from doing so.

 

Point is: You never quite know a person until you know a person. It's not so much the fact that he stays at home, but moreso about which direction he's going.

 

Actually, when I dated men who lived at home, one of my key questions was - have you ever lived on your own and for how long. If they had never lived outside their parents' home, or only for college, that was a big no-no for me. I didn't want to be their 'bridge' for leaving home. I didn't like the fact that they were so eager to spend time at my home, seeing it as a way to escape their parents.

 

For me, and I have to be honest, men living at home in their thirties is a massive red flag, especially if they have never moved away. It just seems to indicate that they haven't striven for independence, and I don't want to go through the hassle of being their first "roommate". I just find it weird, hand on heart. I left home when I was 18 and I have been financially independent since - and I come from a VERY poor family, so no handouts for me from anyone. I just find it very odd to date a man who has his mother do his washing, cook and clean for him.

[Miss Firecracker]

No point.. Sounds like your future hubby is currently living in his moms basement..=)

 

 

NAMI is the most respected authority on mental illness. I really hope this will make you happy. I don't like spending my precious time researching something I already know.

 

This is probably also found at The Center For Figuring Out Obvious Things. lol

 

 

link removed

[Dubb]

Thx for the link but that doesn't really break down anything. I was looking for an actual number that compares mentally unstable people to people who are stable but are home for other reasons. Ie. Low income job, school, lazy, etc... Was curious to see what category the majority of men fell into. I personally think it's finance.

[Miss Firecracker]

Thx for the link but that doesn't really break down anything. I was looking for an actual number that compares mentally unstable people to people who are stable but are home for other reasons. Ie. Low income job, school, lazy, etc... Was curious to see what category the majority of men fell into. I personally think it's finance.

 

 

As long as you know there are MANY that is good enough.

 

Maybe someone else will find the other facts.

[Dubb]

Yeah, for the sake of that study "Many adult children with mental illness live with their parents." But what is the ratio of men? We were talking about men in general...

 

If 10% of the men have mental illness and 90% fall into school, low income pay, lazy, etc... It's really not the majority. That's all I was trying to point out...

[Lowconfidence]

Why do most guys 30+ live at home? Because most don't have high paying jobs or careers. This is essentially a red flag to date them because if he can't fend for himself financially how is he going to be able to hold his own dating a woman?

 

Really, it's not that he's 30+ living at home. It's basically he's a financial loser.

 

Again, how many successful people live at home? 1%?

[Dubb]

So a school teacher in an inner city is a financial loser b/c he would rather save than rent? I mean in my area rent is 700+ a month. That's a lot even if you have a roomie. Some people want to just buy. I just don't see that as a bad thing...

[fIIsion]

So to summarise, men, 30+ who live at home with their parents/parent are:

Momma's boys

Mentally unstable

Have low paid jobs

Not independent

Incapable of washing their own clothes (perhaps themselves)

Have curfews

Immature

Not driven/ambitious, no direction in life

Please fill in any other generalised statement

[Lowconfidence]

So a school teacher in an inner city is a financial loser b/c he would rather save than rent? I mean in my area rent is 700+ a month. That's a lot even if you have a roomie. Some people want to just buy. I just don't see that as a bad thing...

 

As a guy, I wouldn't call him a financial loser. As a female, I would.

 

I just don't know any successful guy living at home. If you could afford to, most likely you won't be living at home. And this is what it essentially boils down to. Making a good living. Otherwise he's undateable.

[Lowconfidence]

So to summarise, men, 30+ who live at home with their parents/parent are:

Momma's boys

Mentally unstable

Have low paid jobs

Not independent

Incapable of washing their own clothes (perhaps themselves)

Have curfews

Immature

Not driven/ambitious, no direction in life

Please fill in any other generalised statement

 

Do you personally know any male who's a doctor, dentist, lawyer, CEO, CGA, etc etc that chooses to live at home who does not have a sick parent?

[Miss Firecracker]

I wonder how many of the sick parents out there really want their son in the house with them. I'd be willing to bet not MANY. lol

 

I'd rather take care of myself and get the Life Alert. I never want anyone to feel obligated to baby sit me, no matter how old I get.

[Lowconfidence]

I've been talking to a guy online for a while, and recently found out he's still living at home, according to him, to save money...

 

I don't earn that much money myself but i do hope my spouse be able to make as much as I do, geez, 30+ and still living at home.

 

should I just stop our online communication?

 

Basically the most important questions to ask are

 

1. What is his earning potential? Does he have a good career?

2. Has he saved a lot of money?

3. Are his parents well-to-do? Is he going to inherit the house? Does he have to split the house with other siblings?

[Dubb]

Do you personally know any male who's a doctor, dentist, lawyer, CEO, CGA, etc etc that chooses to live at home who does not have a sick parent?

 

Nope but I know,

Teachers

Union Workers

Police officers

[Lowconfidence]

Nope but I know,

Teachers

Union Workers

Police officers

 

You see, this is what it all boils down to. How much do you make a year? The more money you make, the less chance you are going to live at home.

 

This thread is a joke. Common sense says most guys that choose to live at home either are trying to save money for the future or are just not financially worthy to consider settling down with unless they are geared to inherit the house or a lot of assets.

[Luke Skywalker]

Why do most guys 30+ live at home? Because most don't have high paying jobs or careers. This is essentially a red flag to date them because if he can't fend for himself financially how is he going to be able to hold his own dating a woman?

 

That's easy. From all the money saved paying rent there should be enough money going around to date a woman, as opposed to living at home and being too poor to afford any date.

 

I personally live at home, but I pay an indirect "rent" to have a private office-space which I may take my girlfriend after the office is closed. I don't think I can pay for an office-space and rent at the same time until I make more deals through. It's a large enough office, and then there is my car. We look at movies and have fun inside my big station wagon car where there is enough room on there to do anything. So it's like my mobile home here along with my office.

 

Soon, she will be getting money to move to a basement apartment, so I can see her rather than the office-car set-up which is the only level of privacy apart from here I can provide. I've made other threads complaining about my girlfriend's "looks", but I guess I'm going to have to overlook that given the feedback here on this thread.

 

I'm unsure if I would have more of a drive to be independent, or just buy plane tickets and travel around the world to visit new places, or just maintain the current-set-up until I make more deals, and then go on solo-vacations (or travel with my girlfriend).

[fatcat1999]

this thread is getting too heavy. Please don't take ppl's comment personally. I'm getting great advice from here, it's very helpful.

 

so I decided not to meet this guy. he never lived by himself except college, so he graduated from college, then head back directly home and take a low paid job for years, that tells me no ambition and too much attachement to his parents. money is not everything, it's also not unimportant, similiar goals and financial level are essential to sustain a LTR.

 

thanks again and best luck

[summerpeach]

I got lucky? And how did you come to that conclusion?

 

Luck had NOTHING to do with my situation.........NOTHING! If I went into more detail about my life, you would see I have very little luck

 

I'm a fighter not a whiney baby, I fought hard for everything I have!

[Luke Skywalker]

I got lucky? And how did you come to that conclusion?

 

Luck had NOTHING to do with my situation.........NOTHING! If I went into more detail about my life, you would see I have very little luck

 

I'm a fighter not a whiney baby, I fought hard for everything I have!

 

I guess he means that you were ultimately successful with your fight. But other people are fighting too. Many male-orientated positions have been lost in the US, and this has disproportionately affected males, while it's easier for women to get a job. That is why a thread like this is sort of ignorant to the current economic situation and how genders are affected. This is not the 50's when most men were the breadwinners and women were housewives.

[summerpeach]

I guess he means that you were ultimately successful with your fight. But other people are fighting too. Many male-orientated positions have been lost in the US, and this has disproportionately affected males, while it's easier for women to get a job. That is why a thread like this is sort of ignorant to the current economic situation and how genders are affected. This is not the 50's when most men were the breadwinners and women were housewives.

 

It's actually harder for women to get work since we are high risk due to being mothers or potential mothers.

Unless of course that women is taking a min wage job.

 

High paying jobs go to men!

[Organs]

I got lucky? And how did you come to that conclusion?

 

Luck had NOTHING to do with my situation.........NOTHING! If I went into more detail about my life, you would see I have very little luck

 

I'm a fighter not a whiney baby, I fought hard for everything I have!

 

You think I hadn't been fighting? You think my brother isn't? I average some ten applications a day through various online job sources, and I have no idea what my brother does, but he certainly can't afford a retail job if he's going to support a wife, baby, and afford a place to live.

 

For a while, I averaged three interviews a week for months on end, and as you might imagine, I didn't get hired! Hell, I even applied for Starbucks, since I used to work for them. And you know what they said? I'm not experienced to work for them! Apparently, if you worked for Starbucks, then you're still not good enough to work for Starbucks!

 

So, is it because I'm not phrasing it well enough? Because I can't remember the last time I had a real job and it sure as hell isn't because I'm not trying!