summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Again, we have no idea what his situation is or what he's doing to get on his own two feet. For all we know his cooks his own meals, does his own laundry, works TWO jobs and is trying to pay off his college tuition or whatever. My uncle was 30 and living with his mom when my aunt wanted to date him. Not only did she not write him off as dependent, she went to HIS door and asked him out. They got married and have been married for 20 years now. Not only was he fine to start with, but their own children, only teenagers, have become quite independent and hardworking themselves. My, how times have changed. I also can't help but wonder what a man's supposed to think of a woman who's 30+ and living with her parents... the same way. Equally pathetic! Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Geez, you guys are tough on people who live at home. Some cultures ENCOURAGE their children to live at home until they get married or have a family. My family is Asian and my parents encouraged us to live at home and still encourages us to move back home (esp if we lose our jobs and times get tough). But then, we are also expected to take care of our parents as they age (which could mean having THEM move in with us). I moved out of my parents' house at 18 to go to college and haven't lived at home since then. But then my parents have helped me out (college and a few years afterwards). My brother moved out for 2 years during college and then my parents convinced him to move back home again. He lived at home after college for about 2 years to save up a downpayment for a house and he bought a house about 3 years ago. He had NOT wanted to live at home again, but my parents convinced him to (telling him it would help him save up money for a house, and he was able to put a sizeable downpayment on a house). But then he helped my parents around the house and helped them through a few medical emergencies (which was very important because my mom doesn't speak English very well). Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 yes, that's true, some cultures do. but many do not. i moved out when i was 18 and never looked back. trust me, i am not joking, i would have a curfew if i went home, my mom is super strict and conservative!!!!!! i think that is cool that your brother helped out your parents when they had a medical emergency, and was saving up for a home. that to me is better than someone who is just being a bum. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Then only a woman who understands this culture would accept that. Most independent women would not want a guy who was talked into moving back in with his parents after college and owning his own home. If you bro did not want to live back at home, then he should not have. It's great to help your parents out, but it can be done without having to move back in. Link to comment
renaissancewoman101 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Summerpeach, at what age do you think kids should be out of their parents' home? At 18? after college? what? Just curious. BTW, if you read current news articles, more kids are moving back in with their parents due to job loss and an uncertain economy. Even kids who were able to survive on their own and had good jobs. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 And about the culteral thing, I live in an area and grew up in an area with many Italians and Greeks., They ALL lived at home until marriage and if they never married, well they never left. These same people have NO CLUE how to cook, do laundry or even pay a friggin bill. How are their parents helping them in the REAL world!? I work with a 47 yr old Greek guy who still lives with his parents. He finally met his first GF 3 months ago. they are engaged and getting married in Sept. UGH......he's going right from his momma to his wife. Sad! Sorry, because it's cultural doesn't make it right. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Summerpeach, at what age do you think kids should be out of their parents' home? At 18? after college? what? Just curious. BTW, if you read current news articles, more kids are moving back in with their parents due to job loss and an uncertain economy. Even kids who were able to survive on their own and had good jobs. There is a book called "The Nation of Wimps" that talks about this link removed I think someone should move out as soon as they can independently do so. I think 18 is youing, but mid 20's is cool. Link to comment
fatcat1999 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 well. the guy I'm talking about has been living in his parent's home forever except college. so it's definitely not temporary situation, I think he does have a strong bond with his parents (which I don't understand either, my Mom is driving me crazy even I live continents away from her and yes, the guy earns far less than me( sorry I'm shallow), but he's asking me out. although I do question his maturity, I think he looks like a nice person, maybe give it a shot? any advice? Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 well. the guy I'm talking about has been living in his parent's home forever except college. so it's definitely not temporary situation, I think he does have a strong bond with his parents (which I don't understand either, my Mom is driving me crazy even I live continents away from her and yes, the guy earns far less than me( sorry I'm shallow), but he's asking me out. although I do question his maturity, I think he looks like a nice person, maybe give it a shot? any advice? run! this was the biggest issue with my ex. Who is 44 and is so attached to his mom it's creepy! Link to comment
fatcat1999 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 Summerpeach are you single? meaningless question Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 meaningless question totally.......... Link to comment
g84 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 for the OP: I think it would be good to give it a chance and get to know him better. In general, it makes me sad that some people want to brand others as 'losers' for living at home. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 No it's not.. Seems like she may have some hang ups with guys who are close to their moms. Link to comment
itsallgrand Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 It depends on the context. And how long? Why? It would be a deal breaker for me if he had not lived on his own in all his time as an adult. Link to comment
Seymore Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Well, that's really the point, Seymore. 50 years ago, people lived at home (generally) until they got married. However, most people also got married before 25, so this wasn't that odd. Both my parents lived at home until they got married. Mom was 20, Dad was 23. But in modern day, this kind of thing raises a few flags. 50 years ago we weren't in the economic state we're in now. If it was socially acceptable to live at home until you got married back then, then I don't see what makes it so wrong now, again, in a darker economic state, no less - unless society is dictating people's view on what's right and what's wrong. It's like saying you can't marry a 20-year old girl because she's not emotionally ready - pigeonholing someone based on their status. Link to comment
Crazyaboutdogs Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 This can also be a cultural thing It's pathetic, but encouraged in some cultures The women I referred to were all of the same culture but that culture does not encourage living at home as grown adults..most people in that culture move out. Link to comment
pinkelephant Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 depends on the culture too. it's completely normal for people from my culture to live at home, until you get married. i think most culture encourage you to stay at home. europeans... asians, persians... it's mostly north americans who seem to be reversed. to add, if we live at home, we're expected to look after our parents. so it's a responsibility, not the lack therof to "live at home". Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 No it's not.. Seems like she may have some hang ups with guys who are close to their moms. I think most women have hang ups with men who are momma's boys Being turned off by needy men is not a "hang up" I'm a grown woman and want my man to be a grown up! Crazy I know! Link to comment
Seymore Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 the same way. Equally pathetic! Sorry, I don't subscribe to that assumption. I'm a little more open-minded than that. I think most women have hang ups with men who are momma's boys Being turned off by needy men is not a "hang up" I'm a grown woman and want my man to be a grown up! Crazy I know! A man that is close with his mother is not a momma's boy. One would just as well call a man that is close with his wife to be * * * * * whipped. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I think most women have hang ups with men who are momma's boys Being turned off by needy men is not a "hang up" I'm a grown woman and want my man to be a grown up! Crazy I know! Maybe at your age...yes.. Guys in their early 30's? I dunno.. Some people have pretty legit reasons to stay at home. Starting to wonder if this comes more down to income than anything else. Would you ladies date a guy who shared an apartment with 4 people? Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 The women I referred to were all of the same culture but that culture does not encourage living at home as grown adults..most people in that culture move out. then they need to teach them to be independent and not rely on the live-ins Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Maybe at your age...yes.. Guys in their early 30's? I dunno.. Some people have pretty legit reasons to stay at home. Starting to wonder if this comes more down to income than anything else. Would you ladies date a guy who shared an apartment with 4 people? If some guy was totally down on his luck, and had no choice b/c it was his mom or the street, then ok, but if that is the first option, then not ok. The only legit reason for moving back with Mom is, illness (him or the mom), homeless or jobless. But once the guy was back on his feet, he's got to go. I would have no issue with a guy living with a roomie as long as it was temporary. Being 45 and having a roomie is kinda odd! Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I think most women have hang ups with men who are momma's boys Being turned off by needy men is not a "hang up" I'm a grown woman and want my man to be a grown up! Crazy I know! You have the hang up on those type of men. Don't pin it on everyone else, though... Everyone has different reasons for the stage of life they are in. It's a case by case basis. Doesn't make them pathetic or weak. Link to comment
summerpeach Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Sorry, I don't subscribe to that assumption. I'm a little more open-minded than that. A man that is close with his mother is not a momma's boy. One would just as well call a man that is close with his wife to be * * * * * whipped. apple and oranges Link to comment
.jpg.1626fbc48c04fd9021fd315819807524.thumb.jpg.882936eb5901fa05cf31c75617acde2e.jpg)
Recommended Posts
Archived
This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.