Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 No Man should be dating if he is over 30 years old and having to live with parents End of story!! Link to comment
jenny_mcs Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 It all comes down to priorities. Most people want a partner who is capable of being independent, capable of supporting themselves, and WANTS the independence that living apart from your parents brings. I know two people my age (early 30's) who still live with their parents, and in my opinion, they are not fully independent and stunted in their development. There is a strong urge for most young men and women to separate from their parents and strike out on their own. People who are not acting on that are either afraid, lazy, or enjoy being babied. There are always exceptions (ill parent, etc), but saving for a house or whatever other bs excuses people are using do not cut it in my book. Link to comment
fatcat1999 Posted June 19, 2009 Author Share Posted June 19, 2009 I want to confess one thing about myself. I've been in the States 5 yrs and still don't know how to drive.(in my original country, most ppl use public transportation) At school, I don't have money to buy a car; after working, I couldn't find ppl to teach me, also I think it costs too much to own a car. (my salary is ok but not that much). I think some of the guys I've dated think I'm not independent. is it the same thing with the guy who's living at home? should I learn driving soon? Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I want to confess one thing about myself. I've been in the States 5 yrs and still don't know how to drive.(in my original country, most ppl use public transportation) At school, I don't have money to buy a car; after working, I couldn't find ppl to teach me, also I think it costs too much to own a car. (my salary is ok but not that much). I think some of the guys I've dated think I'm not independent. is it the same thing with the guy who's living at home? should I learn driving soon? That can be an issue... I would learn how to drive. Assuming you're not here on a visa and may have to return.. Link to comment
Honey Pumpkin Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I've not read the whole thread, apologies. No, I would not date a man living at home now. I'm in my thirties, I have tried a couple of times when online dating. For some reason, men who are online dating seem more prone to living at home - I guess they are looking for an escape. For me, it's hugely problematic. In conversations, I don't understand their life choices. I found them more immature and less decisive. I left home when I was 18, first college then roommates, and now I live on my own. I cannot get my head around someone working and in their thirties who lives at home and talks of leaving some day, but shows no drive to do so. Plus, they seem to see my flat as their escape route, or me as their way out. I don't really want to be that person. So, I know it's judgemental, but men living at home with their parents in their thirties is a deal-breaker for me, from experience. Link to comment
annie24 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I want to confess one thing about myself. I've been in the States 5 yrs and still don't know how to drive.(in my original country, most ppl use public transportation) At school, I don't have money to buy a car; after working, I couldn't find ppl to teach me, also I think it costs too much to own a car. (my salary is ok but not that much). I think some of the guys I've dated think I'm not independent. is it the same thing with the guy who's living at home? should I learn driving soon? i don't drive either. kind of same as you. where i am from, people used public transport. i've always found a way to work it into my lifestyle. if i need a cab, i take one! i've saved a lot of money, that's for sure. i know the bus schedules inside and out and walk when i can. i've also had some people look at me bewildered as how i survive. i live downtown, not in the suburbs, so there are all sorts of things i need within walking distance, and work is about 2 miles away from me. the local grocery store also delivers food. if i need a cab, i can take one! however, the dating thing can be more complicated if it's long distance..... if things work out, are you going to drive out to stay with him? it sounds like he would have to drive to see you. unless there is some sort of train or transit between your cities. Link to comment
cat_lady Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I would not date a man living at home aged 30+. Unless it was some kind of special circumstance where he had a sick parent or family member and was helping take care of them. There are so many guys that I know who are younger than 30s and have close relationships with their moms.. you know what they do? They get an apartment with a friend half an hour away and visit their mom on the weekends. How awkward would it be to have sex in your parents house... Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Many times if a man is living at home in his 30's it is because of mental illness. So that's something to watch for. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Many times if a man is living at home in his 30's it is because of mental illness. So that's something to watch for. Really? Is there some kind of scientific data to back this up?? Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Really? Is there some kind of scientific data to back this up?? Yes, a scientific study in my own home. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Yes, a scientific study in my own home. Well that is hardly "many" Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 It's something to watch for, that is what I said. Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 It's good habit to look out for a renegade caboose at railroad stops, too. *whirrrr* lol This topic is so much like the weight topic for women. If a man isn't doing a certain thing by a certain age he is crazy, needy and worthless. It isn't for everyone and there are good arguments against wanting a guy living at home in his 30's but you cannot generalize or villify everyone. Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 No, you can't assume they are mentally ill. But that is one very common reason an adult doesn't leave the nest. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 It's something to watch for, that is what I said. You said many times. Which means to me most of the time. I know a few guys who live at home at 30 and are pretty normal guys other than working lower income jobs. None of them have mental problems. Just sounds like a generalization... Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 You said many times. Which means to me most of the time. I know a few guys who live at home at 30 and are pretty normal guys other than working lower income jobs. None of them have mental problems. Just sounds like a generalization... I'm guessing you haven't moved out since you seem to be taking this personally. And no, many doesn't mean the same thing as most. Link to comment
StrawberryYogurt Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Anybody, woman or man, liviing at home in their 30's barring exceptational or temporary circumstances, should not be dating, period. How can they take care of someone (and in a relatinoship, you take care of one antoher in so many ways) when they haven't taken care of themselves? Link to comment
happyfrank Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 My brother is in late 30s and still living at home. Owns his own photography company, college educated and funny. In our culture we don't move out until we get married. If girl doesn't want to date my brother it's her lost. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 I'm guessing you haven't moved out since you seem to be taking this personally. And no, many doesn't mean the same thing as most. There you go assuming things again... Link to comment
StrawberryYogurt Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 My brother is in late 30s and still living at home. Owns his own photography company, college educated and funny. In our culture we don't move out until we get married. If girl doesn't want to date my brother it's her lost. Yeah, that's great, but that doesn't mean he's ready to be in a healthy relatioship. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Yeah, that's great, but that doesn't mean he's ready to be in a healthy relatioship. Lol I just can't grasp this... I know so many people who never move out till they get married. So you have to move out of your house to be ready for a healthy relationship? Link to comment
g84 Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Yeah, that's great, but that doesn't mean he's ready to be in a healthy relatioship. Moving out doesn't indicate whether someone's ready for a relationship. Link to comment
IphigeniaSaysHi Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Moving out doesn't indicate whether someone's ready for a relationship. Apparently it does! This thread is insane... Link to comment
Miss Firecracker Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 There you go assuming things again... No, not assuming, just guessing a possiblity since you are so upset about one view. No matter what you say, the fact is that many adults that live with their parents do not have the ability to leave because of mental illness. I'm not saying you or any of your friends are mentally ill. Link to comment
Dubb Posted June 19, 2009 Share Posted June 19, 2009 Apparently it does! This thread is insane... I agree... Link to comment
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