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jenny_mcs

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jenny_mcs last won the day on February 15 2014

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  1. About 6-7 months into our year of no contact, I randomly ran into his cousin, who I didn't even know very well, in line to buy a beer at a baseball game. She was quite tipsy, and even though I tried to steer the conversation away from my then-ex/now-husband, she did mention that he had broken his ankle quite severely a month or so ago, and had surgery to re-set it. I remember going home that night and just crying. I had moved on in every way that I could, and was even dating by this point, but it just felt so horrible to get news like that 2nd hand, and know that he had not reached out to me w
  2. I'm really sorry you're in so much pain. There is really nothing like it in the world. The strength of the emotions you feel during this period are astounding. You know that so many other people have felt this way, but the despair is so uniquely yours. My husband and I broke up twice while we were dating. Once for a few months - I started my first thread on ENA about breaking up with him and going NC. We got back together after about 2 months and it was a huge mistake. Nothing had really changed (how could it in 2 months?) so we broke up again months later. We muddled along, broken up,
  3. I don't know if I can post links, but this one made me seriously LOL. This site is satire with a feminist spin, and I truly think they hit the nail on the head with this one. (If the link doesn't work, google "reductress I'm sorry I was being so crazy"
  4. Ugh, Ksol, I wish I could say I can't believe those texts from your ex, but sadly, i do. I had an ex who would do really lousy stuff- no cheating, but stuff like ditching our plans to go out with friends, dropping off the face of the earth when on guys trips, etc. And when I tried to bring stuff up, he would ALWAYS turn it around and blame me for "ruining a nice night" or "freaking out" or "always complaining." He once had the nerve to tell me "OK, I know I f'ed up. But when I f up, I wish you could be more loving, or keep it light-hearted when we talk about it." LOL. Yes, I should have kept i
  5. Hi Ksol- I'm so happy for the progress you made, and sorry you are having a bit of a setback. I think you just need to be patient with yourself. Some people just really get under your skin. Unfortunately, sometimes it’s the wrong people. I don’t think it really matters if you block his number or not. In the end, it’s you learning the lesson of being able to say “That is not for me” - and once you have truly embraced that, it won’t matter if you never hear from him again or if he shows up at your door, or anything in between. I can tell by your posts that you are in such a better place t
  6. Hi Ksol- So sorry to read this turn of events. The things he’s doing are so gross, not even going to comment on them. The times in my life I have found it most difficult to move on from a bad relationship are the times I was most scared about what was going to happen next in my life. Like, I wasn’t that happy with what I had, by myself, so it made it SO much better to be in a relationship, because I would just think “well, I’m with , and we’ll just have this future together…” And then I didn’t have to think about what I wanted to do with my life. I know it will be super hard to let
  7. Ksol- I just want to mention that you are not being completely honest with him. You are secretly monitoring his FB activity. I don't know how you are doing this, but you are. And it *is* upsetting you. You didn't like the fact that he left a comment on (female) friend's picture, and were getting really upsetting about it. I don't know what the answer to your dilemma is, and I obviously don't know if he is truly doing anything shady on FB, but the elephant in the room, IMO, is that you are secretly tracking his activities, yet getting upset at him for not being completely open to you. I thi
  8. Hi there- I read through this thread over the last few weeks- and reached the end just as you are meeting with your ex tonight- exciting! One thing that I would suggest to “get ready” for your dinner is to re-read the email that you sent him and try to be in that “place” when you meet. The email really came from a place of kindness, hope, and strength. Don’t let yourself slip back into old patterns. I can see it on this thread, a bit (the slipping into old patterns). In the email, you tell him there is no rush, take time to think things through, etc. But in the thread you seem
  9. The bad thing is that you don't realize what an unenviable spot you are in. You are in a worse spot than someone that got dumped one day ago and is sobbing into their mom's shoulder right now. You're in a worse spot than them, because of after 3 months of agony and struggle, you just got pulled back into her vortex of chaos. Now you can have a few more days, weeks, or months of uncertainty and anxiety, and when she cuts it off again you'll be back at square one. Only this time you'll have hurt this nice local girl who actually liked you. You should cut off contact with the ex and the new g
  10. How long has he been divorced? One of the most consistent patterns you see on this site is a poster starts dating someone who is recently divorced. The divorcee is full steam ahead, wants to spend lots of time together, do couple-y activities (like go to weddings) and introduces the new person to their kids. Then they freak out and abruptly dump the new person. Happens over and over. I would seriously never date a recently (like within 2 years) divorced person.
  11. I went to read your previous thread to get a little background, and as soon as I saw that they were pushing you to go to Landmark, I thought "ugh, get out of there." One of my first jobs, the CEO and several VPs were totally into Landmark and it was the most toxic workplace ever. As others have suggested, keep your head down, don't do anything above and beyond, don't work beyond normal hours and spend every spare minute trying to find something else. I read in your previous thread that you turned down another job offer when your current boss gave you a raise...you should email your contact
  12. The tiny house movement is so interesting. Do you get HGTV in Canada? For years they have had a show called "House Hunters" where they follow people looking to buy a house. They recently added a show called "Tiny House Hunters" and it is awesome! They show people down-sizing from big homes to tiny ones- some want country and lots of land, some are in the burbs, it's really cool!
  13. It IS hard. Stay strong. Call a friend, call your mom, take a walk, pop in your favorite movie, anything to distract yourself. When this feeling passes you will be so glad you didn't send it. (hugs)
  14. Um, wow, no, to the reply above. Do NOT "track" her movements via a spreadsheet. That's psychotic and will make you seem completely unhinged and a huge control freak. So...no, don't do that, lol. i agree that the way your gf handled things was a bit rude. But she doesn't see it that way, so honestly, just drop it. I would initiate a conversation, saying that you would like to spend more quality time together. Maybe suggest you take turns planning weekly dates? Do you guys sit around a lot, spend a lot of evenings just watching tv or surfing the net? If so, she may just be bored with
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