THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[bumpties]

Day 1 again.

 

The longest I have lasted is 5 days. So pathetic! *sigh*

 

I wanted to curl up into a ball and cry all today.

 

So weak.

 

Lets try this again! Aiming for 5+ days this time.

[looking4ward]

Starting day 5, hanging out with friends, have a new guy interested which is a nice distraction- but still thinking so much about him. It hurts, I asked him not to contact me for the time being so I know he won't and I have to keep my pride and keep my head together. It gets better right? it just sucks, I'm pretty sure he's off with his ex having great sex, and sharing their amazing connection- it just hurts so bad. i opened up and risked my heart and I knew this was a possibility so this is what I get. I am proud I was able to try but it still really, really sucks. I know i can do this and I will, but a bit sad right now...

[Bestfriendgone]

Day 30.

 

No contact is crucial. it gets better and it is faster if you don't hear anything at all about your ex even from mutual friends. Erase him completely from your life. Knowing something about him sets you back a few notches. Today i made that mistake when i was doing so well already. I've been self-rating my healing thing from 1-100%. Yesterday i was 70%. Today i'm back to 50%.

[JonasWaingaro]

Day 12

 

tomorrow will mark my previous NC highscore so to speak. It's ridiculous to think 12 days of not hearing from someone could hurt so much. Sometimes I don't hear from long distance friends for months (and these are people I've known longer than him) but I hardly notice the time pass at all. 12 days is nothing in the big scheme of things but it doesn't feel like nothing. In my screwed up mind I imagine all memories of me fading from his mind. I imaging him being so happy that he's not with me. I hate my mind for playing these tricks on me! C'mon day 13...

 

I feel exactly like this, this morning. Day2(again) for me. Last night I felt like for the first time I could survive and be well, no longer sad. I woke up this morning and just feel sad. I felt alone and, I don't know, in despair. This is so difficult. I feel hopeless, helpless, like I can't do this. That I don't matter to her grips me and makes me profoundly sad. /sigh

[dimnickel1980]

the thought of him dumping me and forming a close friendship/ future relationship with some girl in high school makes me sick. i wish i knew if he had feelings for her. i keep trying to tell myself... "you will not be any guy's second option." the more time that passes shows me how little he cares. i hope he doesn't contact me bc he's scared... he should be. lol

[fruitapus09]

Day 15

 

It's going pretty good, but last night met a bunch of guys and realized that until I'm over this one, none of them are going to be good enough.

 

The urge to drunk text was really hitting me, glad I deleted his number from my phone.

 

When i think of him, i get warm and fuzzy. This is someone i haven't seen in almost a month. I think of what I would say to him if we were talking, I think of cuddling up with him, all sorts of things. I am not moving on very well at all.

[looking4ward]

Halfway through day 5- I think it's the mornings that are the hardest for me. When i wake i feel like I have this dead weight on my chest and just feel empty and sad. The mornings have been progressively getting better however which is nice

 

Stay strong!

 

-K

[SunniDee]

Day 3.

 

He has nothing to offer me. He is a loser, selfish, manipulative, and emotionally abusive. I deserve ( and have found) better.

[jonboi]

Day 72. Would have been 3.5 months, but I had to do what I had to do. Days go on and so do I. My time is coming

[quirky]

End of day 6

 

I'm doing ok, gaining clarity. I can do SOOOO much better. I can see so much more objectively now, what he was offering, how I had idealised him. I still wonder if he'll ever ring again but I'm thinking about me more than I think about him.

 

I honestly feel moved reading this thread, my heart goes out to everyone on here because I know how difficult this is, I went through it last september when I had first left him, it was pure hell..

[prestonztt]

Day 1.

 

The only contact was about our children. Thats it. Its been 2 months since our break up. I still feel like complete crap.

[JonasWaingaro]

DrowsyWithHope welcome and thanks for the post. It's helpful and very good, keep posting! Kerri nicole and bumpties, hang in there. Everyone hang in there! *bighugsallaround*

[Beardy]

5 1/2 yrs relationship. 3 months since split. 2 months LC. 1 month NC.

 

However, as posted last week, bumped into her accidently in the street this week, but I'm not counting that. Sure it stung to see her and probably dented progress, but it wasn't my or her fault, just an accidental meeting.

 

So what does 30 days feel like? OK actually. Still think about her most of the day, but the pain is less. I'm becoming increasingly convinced that there is no way back at all, even if she approached me for reconciliation.

 

But I miss her and I miss us. Thankfully, I feel I've got more going for me, she's going to be stuck in the same small town, whilst I'm moving to London in a couple of months.

 

Someone told me that for every year of a relationship, it takes about a month to get over it. So, in theory, I'm about halfway through the healing process.

 

Yay me.

[JonasWaingaro]

Day 3

 

I'm not sure how I feel this morning, tired I think. Just sick and tired of being sick and tired. The mornings are the worse. Somehow by midnight I feel better, a little stronger. Then the I wake up and just have a sickness in the pit of my stomach. I feel somewhat hopeless, or helpless, or something. I wish I could just stop. Am I sad this morning...I'm not sure. I think I'm numb. I month for every year? D'oh.

 

Yay Saffron! New record!

[Mr Brightside]

Hi All,

 

I really wish i'd read up on all this a few days ago!

 

split with my ex getting on for a week now.

 

Went round hers last night, did the teary eyed desperate look, what was i thinking, im so weak!

 

Shes told me its over, shes asked for her space, told me all the stuff that its pushing her further away! she was getting tears in her eyes too.

 

i was stuck in this deluded thought that, well, its over anyway, whats a bit more contact going to harm! it really doesnt matter what anyone was saying to me, i was so driven by this feeling of emptiness!

 

to be totally honest, i know why we split, and i even have had doubts myself on the relationship, but as i do love her, and im overpowered by the thoughts i have about misses her.

 

i'm up for this challenge, if its for seeing if something works out, or maybe it might help me think straight and move on.

 

the one thing i do know is that she does love me, but sometimes the arguements are too much, we both need to do alot of soul searching and figure out what the score is!

[looking4ward]

Starting day 6- I have a feeling I'm going to hear from him soon and that is making anxious, not sure why I think I will. Didn't wake up quite as sad this morning, actually am going to try and be productive today which will be very good. I've been letting stuff slide a bit too much. Got in a lot of exercise yesterday- roller blading, walking, horseback riding- which seems to help stabilize my moods a bit. Working on losing some weight, eating fairly healthy but need to be drinking less. I'll get there, one day at a time...

[wish_on_a_star]

Day 14, week 2, half way mark! I am so happy I finally got this far with NC, feels really good but the thought of him getting back in touch with me in 2 weeks or so is making me feel anxious...still got no idea how I will deal with it or what to say, but I will be well prepared, thanks to NC

[DrowsyWithHope]

Day 6 of NC

 

Feeling pretty good today, more positive than I have. I am looking forward to my future, feeling the urge to start planning another trip somewhere, I love to travel.

 

I have been getting headaches lately and I feel like I have alot of tension in my back. Like I am carrying this around like a backpack or something! lol The major emotion I feel is ANGER! But I believe that is only normal (considering!!!) and it will pass in time. I have no urge to contact him whatsoever and I haven't heard from him and I have to say it's a relief.

 

DrowseyWithHope

[bexcelant]

hang in there..the first couple of weeks are the worst.

[prestonztt]

Day 2

 

I had to drop the boys off at her house this morning. The only thing I said to her was what time the boys ate. Thats it. It was so hard not to say anything else. Still feeling pretty crappy.

[Broken2009]

I am on Day 10

I can't believe a month already since the break up. Time flies.

I just feel like I am watching her walk out the door.

 

Mixed feelings of love, hope, anger and hate.

[Amasa]

I'm such a sucker, I always fall for the fight. Everytime.

 

Maybe I'll learn better self control from this whole thing.

[kerri_nicole]

Day one again but thats it now!!

 

Our baby sons christening yesterday and he never showed, I never felt so upset or let down in my whole life but at least I really see now!

[SunniDee]

Day 4.

 

Not feeling angry anymore. The desire to unblock him and yell at him has lessened.

[looking4ward]

Broke NC to tell him I missed him by email. He wrote back that he missed me too. I feel ok, I was more or less the dumper but it was caused by his issues. I'm glad he responded, but back to NC now, I need to get my head more together before having conversations with him.

 

-K