THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[newlife21]

thank you peterson, this is a good reminder and encouragement.

 

day 1 NC

[kerri_nicole]

I am sticking with the NC but I am jsut finding it so hard to sleep, as you say I fall asleep then it just gets to me and my mind works overtime over and over and over. I try all sorts to get to sleep but I just end up thinking of him and the things he could be doing or could be thinking, why have I turned out like this.

 

I was always an outgoing independent person! But I do feel a bit of relief that this can only get better and for once I am in control!!!

[newlife21]

i know NC is not a tool to get your ex back, but seems that it is the only way to reverse the situation. at least the only way to make him miss me. i am still holding to hope he will come back, he did before. he said himself, when the negatives faded away after some time, he started to miss me real bad.

 

he left without working and talking things out. not the first time, still hurts a lot. but doing NC i feel more in control. i used to chase after him, it worked for the first few times, ( we broke up many times before ), then it got harder to get him back. initiately, just one email, or appearing at his door will work. now the more i fuss over him, the more difficult he gets.

[dimnickel1980]

i really feel like i've gone through a drug withdrawal. him and his problems are still in the back of my mind all throughout the day. i still have nightmares.

 

most of the day there is a slight longing for him, but i feel like me compared to the first couple of days.

 

the first time i see a photo of him with another girl will probably kill me.. so hopefully that day won't come soon.

[wish_on_a_star]

i know NC is not a tool to get your ex back, but seems that it is the only way to reverse the situation. at least the only way to make him miss me. i am still holding to hope he will come back, he did before. he said himself, when the negatives faded away after some time, he started to miss me real bad.

 

he left without working and talking things out. not the first time, still hurts a lot. but doing NC i feel more in control. i used to chase after him, it worked for the first few times, ( we broke up many times before ), then it got harder to get him back. initiately, just one email, or appearing at his door will work. now the more i fuss over him, the more difficult he gets.

 

 

I completely agree with you, it does get harder. I remember I gt him back quite easily the first time round, but the crying doesn't affect him now and even 5 months on from the break up, I still have a bit of hope. NC definitely puts you in control though and helps you think outside the box. I am now on day 10, and around day 30, my ex will contact me like he said, one month later, to see how we are both doing, "good or bad", don't know exactly what will come from it all, but yes, I do still love him but with NC, I think I will be much stronger the next time we do speak

[Qut81]

Day 1....again.

[Beardy]

Finished a hard game of squash and therefore a bit of sweaty mess. Was getting some cash out of an ATM to have a post-game pint with my mate and she drives past.

 

I wave. She stops. She gets out of the car and we have an quick hug and chat. All very casual and breezy, but a shame the first time she sees me I looked such a state.

 

Now I'm back to day 1 I guess... or do I get a pass considering the contact was semi-unavoidable? I was only a few days away from 30!

 

I'm having a bit of a drinking session regardless... the contact made me feel poo, although thankfully not as poo as I expected. Miss her.

[fruitapus09]

Sleeping is hard for me too. I wake up and toss and turn with the "what ifs" and sometimes wake up thinking all warm and fuzzy about him. I have to stop, I am going to get hurt if I think that there is a chance to get back with him again.

 

Tried doing the thing where you stop yourself when you are thinking an obsessive thought, and try to replace it with some other thought. Works a tiny bit. I was using "stop, he doesn't want you" to be more realistic, though you are supposed to think something more positive.

 

I think walking around exhausted all day certainly contributes to the miserable feeling. Thinking of resorting to a sleeping pill, but afraid it will make me foggier the next day. I am so busy at work I can't afford to be any more dimwitted than i already am. The 5 hour energy drinks work, but then I can't fall asleep at night. vicious circle.

 

Going to see my good friend tonight, one of the ones that fixed me up with this guy. Think i'm just going to say that I really liked him, but I don't think he's ready. Not that I'm an expert on these things, but from what his family told me about him, i don't think he is. I don't want to say anything that shuts the door forever, and don't want to gush and tell her I miss him either.

[newlife21]

I completely agree with you, it does get harder. I remember I gt him back quite easily the first time round, but the crying doesn't affect him now and even 5 months on from the break up, I still have a bit of hope. NC definitely puts you in control though and helps you think outside the box. I am now on day 10, and around day 30, my ex will contact me like he said, one month later, to see how we are both doing, "good or bad", don't know exactly what will come from it all, but yes, I do still love him but with NC, I think I will be much stronger the next time we do speak

 

so true, we broke up about 6 times in total ( i think ) and i had run out of anything new. i can only count on our love now, and time will erase the negatives and sweet memories would surface soon. good luck to you.

 

i hate chasing him by the way, i feel so low. i will also end up resenting him. so NC is the best for now.

[vertigoxo]

Felt suicidal again. Was moody, irritable, and I hate him more than anything. I hope I never hear from him again. Our relationship was nothing but a lie to me.

 

... But I am so happy that he is out of my life. I am happy I'm not hearing from him.

[Bestfriendgone]

Day 28 for me.

 

;0 And it is a good day. i just suddenly feel disgusted about the way he treated me. And for the first time really felt like i don't want him back.

 

i hope this continues on.

[doiiiieeezie]

I think it's day 5 for me.... I was NC for about a month, then had a little "conflict" over what happened then... tried to give a way to talk, but he would have to approach me first. He posts on his blog about how he doesn't want me to hurt and that he wishes things didnt work out the way they did daily two days ago. So I am a mess once again... but I am trying to keep strong during the day... at least.

[kerri_nicole]

Day 3

 

Had 2 texts this morning from him saying he missed us and why was I acting like this. Had to fight the urge to tet back but I have been here so many times before!

 

I think he jsut likes to think I am not serious then he can continue in the way he was knowing I am always going to be there. Well not this time

 

I am so determined to stay NC and get my life back. We were together 10 years but anoter 10 would of been alot longer and more abusive.. I do deserve someone that will treat me with respect and love and no lying or cheating. My kids deserve that too.

 

Staying strong..

[Brokenheart00]

3 weeks of NC. Hooray. Success.

[Broken2009]

Day 6, Cannot wait until day 7 is completely finished.

It will feel like I actually accomplished something.

I still think about it very often. I guess it doesn't help I work with her.

 

However I think about the things she could have been doing to help the relationship such as spending just even one whole day with me on a weekend.

 

Instead all she wanted to do is hang out during the week/weekend on a night when she had nothing better to do. All she wanted to do was drink and get intimate. Which as a male, had no problems with however it was the constant convo that kept me being strung along.

 

Before, I was thinking about ways to get her back. Now I feel like I never want to talk to her again. Ever. It wasn't easy seeing her yesterday however, even though I just saw her from the back with that bright blond long hair and her perfect clothes. Ugh.

[Broken2009]

So just had a co-worker ask me about her.

I said no. We both had busy lives.

It was the first time I had to give like a one line explanation about what happened.

I didn't have one at all....bc I don't really know what went wrong except her not living up to my expectations and her freaking out once she knew it.

 

I hate broken relationships.

[Qut81]

Day 2........

[dimnickel1980]

three weeks. good thing for me. disappointing from him. he's made no attempt to contact me. yay

[kerri_nicole]

Day 3.

 

God today is long and feeling very weak! Its really hard when there r kids involved.. He is trying to play my kids off me its not fair.

[vertigoxo]

I woke up like an hour ago. Had a nice cup of coffee. It is so lovely outside. My mother and I talked about the college I'm going to next month on the 24th when classes start. I am excited but calm and confident at the same time... if not a little bit scared of the future.

 

I am trying out these beauty products for my face/body and I hope to God they work!

[looking4ward]

Day 2 after breaking NC, really sucked and blew up in my face. So not worth it. I think I hate him, I was pretty good to him and he goes back to to his awful ex while stringing me along.

 

I don't think I actually want to get back together with him so maybe I'm in the wrong place posting but the NC challenge helps I can figure out my own head while recovering from his stupidity.

[Puckdog27]

Day 2 after breaking NC, really sucked and blew up in my face. So not worth it. I think I hate him, I was pretty good to him and he goes back to to his awful ex while stringing me along.

 

I don't think I actually want to get back together with him so maybe I'm in the wrong place posting but the NC challenge helps I can figure out my own head while recovering from his stupidity.

 

NC is not for going back to him. Its for healing you. You're in the right place.

[looking4ward]

NC is not for going back to him. Its for healing you. You're in the right place.

 

Thanks, working on it

[nickfat]

We broke up 3 nights ago. I texted her yesterday and we texted for awhile.

 

I think I feel worse now. We were together for 3 years. It's going to be hard.

[fruitapus09]

Day 12

Talked to a mutual friend about him. She doesn't know him all that well, and wants me to date another friend anyway, so it went OK.

 

She did casually mention that the object of my NC has a "psycho ex girlfriend".

 

What's wrong with my friends? They fix me up with this guy, we totally got along, then they are like, "oh he's messed up from the war".

 

Then we stop seeing each other and I find out he has ex girlfriend baggage. When were they going to tell me that?? Did anyone think this through at all???

 

No more fixups!! Everyone just seems to think any two single people can be fixed up and it's fine. I'm glad they tried, but it just all adds up to me thinking he's not ready. Maybe this other woman is still in his life because he wants her there. Who knows.

 

Thought this would help me move on, maybe it did for a minute. But I don't know the extent of it, and whether it's his fault, etc. Everyone has some kind of baggage.

 

Decided to completely stop talking about him to my friends, whether good or bad. I am not moving on like I should.