DrowsyWithHope

Day 13 Last night I slept the best that I have since this happened. Today I feel optimistic and pretty good. I've joined a bowling league and a restaurant meetup group, of which I'll be going to the first meetup this week and I'm really looking forward to it! Last time I went through NC (for 2 months), I had intended to get out and meet new people but kinda put it off. It feels so right now, like I am ready for this. I just don't want to stay holed up in the house like I did last time. I feel like I closed one door and now it's time to open a bunch of new ones. Drowsy

Day 9 Yesterday was h*ll, today is a bit better but I'm still not sleeping like I use to before this. I have no desire to call him at all, and he has (so far!) respected my wishes for him not to contact me at all. Which is good because although I don't have a problem not contacting him, when I see his name on the caller ID I feel full of anxiety. 99% of me thinks "Don't you DARE pick up that phone!l" and the other 1% thinks "he's calling me....he must still care about me" and wants to answer the it. Just taking it day by day.... Drowsy

LOL Now that's what I love to hear and I agree!!

stargirl, I'm sorry you are feeling this way now. But please know that you are not worthless. Breakups can really do a number on our self esteem. But I promise you won't feel this way forever. Drowsy

I agree 100% however.... Life is not black and white and humans are not always known to be rational beings. Every time I had gone NC (this is my 4th time but two of those were only for like 8-9 days) I did it because I had enough and I was ready to walk away. BUT, there was still a small part of me that still wanted things to work out. I didn't pine or hope or wait for that to happen. I was moving forward, but I didn't deny that was still there. I knew it would lessen and eventually go away over time but I was never able to get to that point. The ex would contact me and he would (sound) sincere in wanting things to work out and since enough time had not passed and there was still part of me that wanted that, I let them back into my life. I agree that you shouldn't go into NC in hopes of getting the ex back, but sometimes when you do NC, it just happens anyway. Since you give the other person space and time it gives them a chance to think about things. Sometimes your absence makes them realize they miss you and they DO call and they DO want to get back together. BUT.... sometimes not. You can't go into NC hoping for that or you will drive yourself mad, but I'm just saying that it COULD happen and if your ex DID come back and was sincere....would you really ignore them? (Okay I would but then I've already given him a million and one chances!! lol) So yeah, I just wanted to say that sometimes it does happen anyway, even if that isn't your reason for doing it. Okay, obviously you'd never know if you block phone numbers and email addresses, but I'm just saying. Drowsy

Day 7 I feel....well...I'm alive! Ah, today is blah so far but I've got loads to keep me busy so I'll get through it. Why do we do NC? The other option is to call, email, text and pester your ex, but what good would that do? Do you really think they are going to say what you want to hear? Often when we are dying to pick up that phone and call them it's because we so desperately want to hear that they still love us, that they still want things to work out or that they are sorry. So we make the call, we don't hear what we want to, but we don't want to push things, and then afterwards we feel even worse than before! Oh sure, you can stick with 'friends' and stay in contact in hopes that things will work out but then you are in that awful place called 'limbo-land'. You feel powerless and like your ex calls the shots and you are waiting and hoping.... Why do that to yourself? (Believe me, I've done both and I can speak from experience, they are NOT options I recommend!!! lol Unless, of course, you are a masochist! --I'm not!) Sometimes two people just need space and time to get themselves sorted. Some ex's do eventually call again, some don't. But a month really isn't all that long. (Thinking of the challenge at hand here...personally I'm going longer than that!) NC is a hard thing to do, but there are rewards to it in the long term. Stay strong! Drowsy

Mr Brightside- This is totally normal, unfortunately! Tiredness, lack of energy or appetite, having a hard time sleeping or focusing and maybe even headaches or other body aches. Go easy on yourself, this is a hard time but you will though it! Drowsy

See, and when my ex came back I let him back into my life. Two months was NOT long enough for me. There was still a small apart of me that wanted/hoped things would work out. My head said "Do NOT let that man back into your life", but my heart said something else. Grrrr!!! I hate it when they don't agree!! lol Do I feel like he's 'right' for me....yes and no. In some ways it's so easy when I'm with him and he knows me so well, but then in some other ways I feel I'd be better off with someone else. At the end of the day, no matter what his good qualities were, I wasn't getting my needs met and I'm sorry, but a loving, caring relationship should NOT be that way. You know, I read something kind of interesting in this forum last week. It was a thread about successful reconciliations. And about how some people got back together months or even YEARS after they had broken up. Perhaps when we break up, it's for a reason? Maybe we have some growing we need to do on our own and if it's meant to be, it will happen at a later date? I don't know. Whatever we are all going through now, perhaps if we could picture ourselves in the future looking back. Picture ourselves in a happy place, perhaps with a new partner or exciting things going on in our lives. Then we'd look back at this and remember how miserable we were over so and so and we never thought we'd get over it, but we did and moved on! We don't know what the future holds or what life has in store for us next! Drowsy

I know exactly what you mean. There is this person who you knew so well, and they knew you so well and you shared so many memories with and it's hard to believe it's gone, over, done with.....forever?? The first time I went through NC I felt those same feelings. It was like I couldn't believe it was REALLY over that time. (But 2 month later he missed me, was miserable, wanted to work things out, I agreed but it didn't last, same old-same old, so now I'm back to NC! :sad: ) Drowsy

Day 6 Slept poorly, had bad dreams, woke up too early and I just feel sad. I want to curl up in a ball and cry and fast forward to tomorrow. Yesterday I read through some old journal entries from over the years we've been together and I can't believe how much crap I put up with. Where was my self-respect?? I hate him, I really do. And I know that's a strong word but it's how I feel (today) and I hope he is %^$&ing miserable!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Drowsy

Day 6 of NC Feeling pretty good today, more positive than I have. I am looking forward to my future, feeling the urge to start planning another trip somewhere, I love to travel. I have been getting headaches lately and I feel like I have alot of tension in my back. Like I am carrying this around like a backpack or something! lol The major emotion I feel is ANGER! But I believe that is only normal (considering!!!) and it will pass in time. I have no urge to contact him whatsoever and I haven't heard from him and I have to say it's a relief. DrowseyWithHope

Hi, I'm new here! *waves* I think I came accross this thread while doing a Google search on 'No Contact'. I can't believe this is still going almost 2 years after the original post! lol Day #4 of NC. I was doing NC for 2 months when my ex came back into my life. It started with a dozen roses and a phone call a few days later. I got the call most people hope to hear from their ex....that they are sorry and they have realized things and they want to make it work. (It's was a long term LDR). He flew to talk to me in person, we talked, got back together but it only lasted about a month and a half. This week he laid a bomb on me which broke my heart (again). He had NO BUSINESS coming back into my life and acting like this is what he wanted if he was uncertain about one very important issue. After 3 days of crying my eyes out and feeling those awful emotions that we have all felt (anger, hurt, disappointment, sadness and total disbelief that someone who loved us could let us down....), I told him that I was done with it. I have not heard from him at all and he will be IGNORED if he does try to contact me. I'm writing in my journal alot, reading forums like this one and just trying to stay strong. Since I've done NC before I know I can get through this again. I have to say, over the years that we had been together my biggest fear was that it would be over for good and that I couldn't cope with that. Yeah, we'd been broken up and got back together many times before but it was like for a day or a week. So going NC for two months, I found it to be very empowering!!! It wasn't the end of the world and I didn't die!! lol Yes, the first week or so was absolute H**L!! You cry your eyes out, you feel tired, you feel angry, you feel sad, you feel like you've lost your future, you might sleep alot, you want to call them and TELL them things, you want to ask them questions, you want to know WHY?? Yup, been through all of that. Anyway, I had to join this forum because I would really like to lend support to others going through this. I know it's tough, and I too use to think it was a bunch of BS that it would actually get better, but seriously, it DOES! DrowsyWithHope