THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[sb26]

Hi all!

I am not new to this thread. I had been following up but posting for the first time.

126 days... I was getting better with the passage of time but today missing him badly. Got to know from somebody that he is getting married this month.

[pokemonfan]

Started 1st NC on 2.2.16

 

NC Day 1

 

I broke NC today, to try and get him out to talk about everything about us. He saw my message, just ignored it. But you know what? Instead of hurting me, it made me feel even more sure that I do not want to get back together with him, even if he wanted to. He just proved that he's an immature jerk who's incapable of talking about serious things like commitment face to face. And to think he's 43 years old this year, pfft. I pity any lady he manages to pick up after me.

 

Broke NC, didn't regret it. But for the purpose of this thread, it's back to Day 1. I'm stronger for it!

[pokemonfan]

Oops 2nd NC Day 1 should start from tomorrow isn't it? Silly me.

[sb26]

Started 1st NC on 2.2.16

 

NC Day 1

 

I broke NC today, to try and get him out to talk about everything about us. He saw my message, just ignored it. But you know what? Instead of hurting me, it made me feel even more sure that I do not want to get back together with him, even if he wanted to. He just proved that he's an immature jerk who's incapable of talking about serious things like commitment face to face. And to think he's 43 years old this year, pfft. I pity any lady he manages to pick up after me.

 

Broke NC, didn't regret it. But for the purpose of this thread, it's back to Day 1. I'm stronger for it!

 

 

True.Whenever you recall such incidents where you were ignored, they tend to make you stronger. Happened in my case.

[pokemonfan]

Started 1st NC on 2.2.16

 

3rd NC Day 0

 

I decided to write down what I thought of him in an email and sent to him. It was a harsh email. It didn't matter that he may just delete it or just doesn't respond at all, it made my mind clear that I DEFINITELY don't want him back in my life. Felt even stronger today. After sending the email, I blocked and deleted his number. Blocked his Facebook way back during 1st NC and no desire to unblock since.

 

I have to say though, this won't work for those who are still hoping to get their ex back, you're likely to break down halfway while writing your email and start begging for them to get together again. I didn't care about burning bridges this time, we are never going to have a future. I want to get married to someone who does want to marry me, and I'm not going to wait until he gets G.I.G.S (happened last time) or just decide at 60 that he wants to marry me to be his caretaker.

 

Might not update here everyday from now on, but will probably loiter around and contribute something back to this community. It has helped a lot in my previous breakup with this idiot as well.

 

Cheers to everyone and believe that we'll emerge from this ordeal in a better place! We deserve to love someone who loves us back wholeheartedly!

[gundam94]

Day 31

 

It's been a struggle today. Work was slow and I did my best not to think of her. It was going well until I did my weekly shopping. While at the store I noticed that Specter had just come out on DVD. I was going to get it when I remembered that we went to see that movie on what ended up being our last date. Which was the same day as my birthday. It brought back a lot of memories of the good times and I began to really miss her. Then I couldn't stop thinking of her. I didn't cry, I haven't cried for 2 weeks now.

 

Besides that I'm not as sad as I used to be. I no longer have the overwhelming feeling of being lost. It's still there but not as bad. I'm also beginning to finally accept who she really is and how she treated me. Both being horrible.

[pokemonfan]

NC Day 1

 

Teared a bit today, but mostly tears of anger rather than sadness. How can someone who says he loves you lead you on like that? He mentioned marriage, he mentioned kids in passing, but when it came to a straight answer if he will actually do it, he escaped from everything. It was simply a waste of my 8 years. It's obvious he didn't love me at all. Maybe 20% but definitely not enough. Had the audacity to actually tell me that "if I want to get married off in a hurry to find someone else". What!?!?!?! Which loving partner in the right mind would actually say that!?

 

He's such a jerk. Can't believe I fell heads over heels in love with him and wasted my youth with him. I remember more bad memories than good ones now, which helps.

 

Gundam, it's so true that we get to see their true colours after being away for a while. Hang in there!

[pokemonfan]

NC Day 2

 

Guess I'm still not strong enough...need my daily journal here.

 

Just had a weird dream last night about idiot ex. Dreamt that I was pregnant (!?), tried to call/text him about it but realised my number was also blocked by him. Went directly to meet him to tell him about it. After that, I remembered there was a text "I can forget our problems but not us". It was just weird. Gah I can't even have a good night's sleep without him butting in.

 

Valentine's is tomorrow...I probably still don't have the capacity to stomach seeing lovey-dovey couples everywhere in the streets. Gah.

[gundam94]

NC attempt 2 Day 1.

 

I never should have gone and volunteered. I knew you were going to be there. But for whatever reason I still went. I wish I hadn't. You did everything you could to make it uncomfortable. You even sat right across from me. When I couldn't take it anymore and I left you not only said goodbye but you told me that it was nice to see me again. I ignored you, kept walking and never looked back.

 

When I got to my car I cried. Then I find out that you were cheating on me. When I found that out I cried all night. I'm back at square one.

 

With Valintines Day tomorrow I'm struggling even more. Add to it that she's cheated on me. I hurt so much I can't stand it. I've been crying off and on all day.

[jus23]

NC attempt 2 Day 1.

 

I never should have gone and volunteered. I knew you were going to be there. But for whatever reason I still went. I wish I hadn't. You did everything you could to make it uncomfortable. You even sat right across from me. When I couldn't take it anymore and I left you not only said goodbye but you told me that it was nice to see me again. I ignored you, kept walking and never looked back.

 

When I got to my car I cried. Then I find out that you were cheating on me. When I found that out I cried all night. I'm back at square one.

 

With Valintines Day tomorrow I'm struggling even more. Add to it that she's cheated on me. I hurt so much I can't stand it. I've been crying off and on all day.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. I can imagine how you feel since I am on the same situation as you. We can do this brother! Just hang on..

[gundam94]

I'm so sorry to hear that. I can imagine how you feel since I am on the same situation as you. We can do this brother! Just hang on..

 

Thanks. Today has been one of the worst days of the split. I'm sorry you're going through the same thing. It's a terrible thing and I will never understand why some people think it's ok.

[SenseCanada]

Happy Valentines!

 

NC day 14.

Feels a little bit better but its hard. I try to focus on healing. Progress in the gym is good.

Lost 10kg since 17th december.

 

I cant get the thought of her dating someone today at valentines out of my head.

Today I have to be strong. And everybody keep on being strong and remain NC. It's the best for us dumpees....

 

Take Care

[gundam94]

NC Day 2

 

All of her behaviors make sense now. She was cheating on me. Probably sense September or October. That's when she started to change.

 

Then to make herself feel better for what she was doing she turned me into the bad guy. She blamed everything on me.

 

I've been crying all day and I've hardly gotten any sleep.

[kickedin]

day 48 ......but I slipped up a bit Friday I was out drinking.... at about 1130 I blocked my number and called her.... she picked up.... sounded like she was awoken from my call...I hung up immediately.....very odd feeling I got because I guess I expected her not to answer or to be out..... then my mind swung around to maybe she was staying in cause shes going out saturday night etc.... not fun for the mind.... any how today is V-day... all quiet and I m ok....

[sb26]

NC Day 131- Was ok yesterday. I had learnt to keep my expectations to low or nil when it comes to him. Yesterday even the thought that he would contact, didn't strike my mind. That's the sign that I am doing good in the healing phase.

 

And then in the evening he called up!! He is not my contact list but I could recognise his number. Haven't spoken to him in months since NC still he keeps calling & texting. Don't know why. In the past talking to him had always left me in tears. So this time also his call was unanswered. I am tired of hurting myself when we used to speak. So for me it's all over. Feels like I should now block him. I was fine throughout the day but after his call was a bit disturbed & sad. As usual, had to put on some loud-loud music to lift the souls & it did the trick.

 

BTW, Happy V-Day to all.

[gundam94]

NC still day 2 (attempt 2)

 

I stayed home from work. I can't stop crying. I never should have volunteered on Friday. I am spiraling out of control. It hurts more then the original split. I found out she was cheating on me. I found out she still has a lot of power over me.

[jus23]

We broke up 3 weeks ago and i just learned from a friend that shes already dating someone. I called her and it was confirmed. Wow! 3 weeks and already dating? I feel so disrespected and not valued at all.

 

Back to NC day 1. This is really hard bit I need to move on.

[gundam94]

NC attempt 3 Day 0

 

D@mit...I found out she had cheated on me and stopped loving me "romantically" at least a month before she left me. Meaning she was lying to me for at least a month. For whatever reason I needed to go confront her. So I did. She started crying, gave me the finger and told me "Go F yourself. That's not what happened".

 

I have 100% irrefutable proof that she did all this. As I was leaving she said "Goodbye gundam94, have a good life". I ignored her and kept walking.

 

And of course now I feel absolutely terrible. The guilt is absolutely killing me. I still love her. I made her cry...I feel absolutely terrible for doing that. I hate myself.

[adviceplease2]

I have to see my ex this week....haven't talked to her in two weeks now. She broke up with me at the end of her first trimester....second ultrasound is this week and she text me a couple of weeks ago to remind me. Circumstances led us down the breaking up path....I had filed for supervised visitation against my kids mom which took out my free weekends....she was feeling sick all the time and sleeping....communication became more difficult, but I thought I was trying....when she hit me with some of the most hateful words I've ever been told and later said she was still fine taking a step back from me when I tried to communicate after our breakup.

 

She showed up at my little girls party a few weeks after the break up...she acted like the person I knew and fell for. Then nothing for a couple weeks. She took pictures of my kids at a school event and sent them to me....then nothing for two weeks. Now, in a moment I'd love to be a happy time at the doctors office, I'm absolutely dreading it because I love her and don't think I can handle her being cold and distant while listening to the baby's heartbeat.

 

Finally worked things out on the other side, where my kids will be going back on their regular visitation schedule, and I'm contemplating going on a trip for the weekend. Guy I work with says I should invite my ex, because the worst she can say is, no. Not sure I'm even going anywhere this weekend, but god help me I want to reconcile with this woman...and having to see her this week I know is going to be difficult. She's having my baby, but is still fine taking a step back from me....my brain has been having a super difficult time processing everything....I've basically convinced myself she ran off with someone else while pregnant with my baby....telling myself the worst case so I'd have myself hardened to anything.

 

I'm so nervous about this week, seeing her....so so nervous.

[gundam94]

I have to see my ex this week....haven't talked to her in two weeks now. She broke up with me at the end of her first trimester....second ultrasound is this week and she text me a couple of weeks ago to remind me. Circumstances led us down the breaking up path....I had filed for supervised visitation against my kids mom which took out my free weekends....she was feeling sick all the time and sleeping....communication became more difficult, but I thought I was trying....when she hit me with some of the most hateful words I've ever been told and later said she was still fine taking a step back from me when I tried to communicate after our breakup.

 

She showed up at my little girls party a few weeks after the break up...she acted like the person I knew and fell for. Then nothing for a couple weeks. She took pictures of my kids at a school event and sent them to me....then nothing for two weeks. Now, in a moment I'd love to be a happy time at the doctors office, I'm absolutely dreading it because I love her and don't think I can handle her being cold and distant while listening to the baby's heartbeat.

 

Finally worked things out on the other side, where my kids will be going back on their regular visitation schedule, and I'm contemplating going on a trip for the weekend. Guy I work with says I should invite my ex, because the worst she can say is, no. Not sure I'm even going anywhere this weekend, but god help me I want to reconcile with this woman...and having to see her this week I know is going to be difficult. She's having my baby, but is still fine taking a step back from me....my brain has been having a super difficult time processing everything....I've basically convinced myself she ran off with someone else while pregnant with my baby....telling myself the worst case so I'd have myself hardened to anything.

 

I'm so nervous about this week, seeing her....so so nervous.

 

 

I understand how you feel. Just remember to breathe, take deep breaths if you need to calm yourself. Try to remain as civil as you can be. Don't engage her unless you absolutely have to. I won't lie...when I saw my ex on Friday...it was the first time since the split, it had been a month...when I got home I cried. I cried all weekend. You need to be prepared because it might hurt more then when you 2 originally split...it did for me.

[adviceplease2]

When I ran into her two weeks ago....her little girl ran up to me and hugged me like she used to....that night was very difficult. I miss her and her little girl...and that hug flooded memories back. When I got home, I tried keeping busy with my kids stuff, but eventually it gets quiet....and in that moment, when the kids had fallen asleep and no one could see or hear me the tears flowed. I've tried to be strong, but I know this week will be difficult. We find out the gender....and instead of being happy and coming up with names....I....don't know.....feels like such an unnatural position I don't know what to do.

[ArtyO]

So I don't know...Its been about 6 weeks since I blocked her on all social media and added her number to the reject list.

Today for whatever reason I unblocked her. I guess I'm not looking to reach out, or have her reach out to me again. I actually don't expect it at all this time around. I think having someone blocked means they still hold an emotional trigger to you, and I'm just ready to move on.

 

I won't be contacting her. Its put to bed, and I'm moving on with a different chapter.

[gundam94]

NC attempt 3 Day 1

 

I still feel like I did the right thing yesterday. But I still miss her. I still really love her. No matter what she's done to me I want to forgive her.

 

I know she no longer loves me that way. But it's hard to just turn that off. I know it will pass in time. But for now it still hurts.

[jamie7]

NC Day 1 for me. My story is here:

 

I ended up going to the concert he bought tickets for with him last night because he said he'd be sadder not going than going and he only wanted to go with me. It was painful because we had to say goodbye again. I told him I felt like he was giving up on me, and that I was doing everything I could to heal from my past wounds so I could be better. He said he didn't want to fight with me anymore and he felt like I needed to be on my own to sort through the pain from my last relationship that caused me to push him away over and over. He said he hoped we could give it another chance as we hugged and cried. I hope so, too. Seeing my therapist today and going to an energy healer tomorrow. I miss him and it's more painful knowing how much we love each other. It's all my fault.

[Wolfshook]

Nc for almost 2 weeks now (I wished her happy birthday last week but I dont believe it breaks nc),last attempt of nc was broken by me falling on breadcrumbs and then trying to contact her few days later but got no response, Im nc eversince and it's going good, I realized that I do not need her to live my life , but I still often get sad. What helps me is reading stories on ENA and one of my ex girlfriends that likes to behave as we are in relationship (sometimes I feel awfull after I'm with her but it makes my day pass quicker and brings me some happyness, Im just sad that it will end in a week as she needs to move). I also started working out which really helps me in dealing with stress, and I'm working on being more self dependant by doing my hobbies. I still think about her a lot,but I'm in peace with our breakup and realize that this might be the only solution, I try to understand that it must be hard for her too and thats what helps me with not contacting her. I just hope I dont fall for the breadcrumbs again.

 

To all of those who just broke up and started nc, the other person will contact you soon believe me,but dont fall for breadcrumbs and most of all if this is your first breakup and the other person states that they want to go back to you,give yourself at least a month of nc and dont rush into relationship again (even if they want to) because it will not end well since you had no time to realize true mistakes. NC is really important and tell them that you need some space,othervise you are bound for failure.

 

Btw remember this:

 

"It matters not how strait the gate,

How charged with punishments the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

I am the captain of my soul."