THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[JustAGoodGuy]

Day 21 of N/C

53 days since break up

 

I thought this was suppose to get easier. It's really not. I have okay days and I have bad days. My okay days aren't that great and my bad days seem to be worse than ever. I'm still depressed and I miss everything about her. I seem to feel the worst at night when there's no one there to hold me. I cry every night still, and that empty feeling in the pit of my stomach isn't going away. I'm having a really hard time finding enjoyment in anything I do. We shared so many of the same hobbies and passtimes that I find it difficult to do any of them because they remind of her. Living in a small community without much to do or offer doesn't help. I still have no idea what went wrong--she just left me out of the blue on Valentine's Day--and was with someone else basically the next day. They weren't together that day, but it led to what it is now. I feel cheated on. One of the last things she said to me was that she misses my dog and hopes to come see her soon. I thought it meant something if she missed some sort of aspect of me but I'm beginning to doubt that. It seems like another case of getting my hopes up only to have them crushed. I have come to terms with the fact that I lost her but it's still really painful knowing that she was perfect for me and everything I was ever looking for. I've met a couple girls in the past two weeks but I just can't find any spark or chemistry the way we had and it really sucks. I've heard so many people say "there's plenty of fish in the sea" but I feel like I'm nowhere near the sea and only have a tiny pond that's almost dried up to fish out of. Her mother offered to talk to me and try to help me through this a few weeks back and she did help alot...until an email of a conversation between her and her daughter accidentally got forwarded to me. Her mother was saying some pretty hurtful things about me behind my back that aren't true and it seems like she was the cause of all this--brainwashing and manipulating her daughter into thinking I'm a terrible person or something, for some reason. Looking back, the way her mother started acting towards me was the only sign that anything might've been wrong--her daughter really loved me up until the last day. Her mother really loved me before, so I really don't know when that changed. I was making so many positive changes in my life. It seems her mother lost patience in me, while her daughter still believed in me but was manipulated into believing I'm worthless. That's the impression I got from this email.

[mrsin627]

Well... we broke up on March 16th, I spent the night with her that night so I last talked to her on March 17th. I went NC from the moment I walked away from her that morning.

 

Unfortunately... as the thread I started suggests I ran into her at an open mic last night, we just said "hey", and I sat down behind her and that was it. I didn't look at her for the remainder of the night. I PROBABLY should have left as soon as I saw her, but I told her about that place and I wanted to stand my ground, which hopefully shows some confidences/assertiveness. Plus, I'm sure they talked about it after they left, which is another "win."

 

I thought I was totally screwed when I walked into that room, but she still hasn't removed me or our relationship from facebook (I thought for sure I would be blocked after last night).

 

I can't help but wonder how things would have gone if she was alone instead of with her friend.

 

This was an emotional set back for sure, but I personally felt that I handled it well.

[Collegeguy2]

NC day 36... Last break up we had after 2 years together she had contacted me at day 30ish... Now it's just going beyond that after 3 years together this is the longest we have not had contact.

 

Some day are hard some days go by easy but still not a day goes by where I wake up thinking about her...

 

Birthday is coming up on the 25th around 50 days of NC at the point only God knows if she will say happy birthday for my 21st. But I do plan on not replying.

[Tind]

Will you sticky this one in this forum, please?

hi i couldnt control my self i was going through the anger phase..i called him and let him have it not before i bombarded his phone with messages and textes because he would not answer ..i felt i had to let it out our i would have burst..this no contact thing was making me feel as if i could not express my emotions. i was suppressing my feelings and if i did not let them out i felt like i was going to lose my mind.

 

any ways i felt enough time has passed for me to have complete control of my emotions so i would not make a complete fool of my self. i got my closure and now i feel as if i can move on..so tomorrow starts my true beginning of letting go without looking back ..day one of NC not to get him back but to let go..i am going to need help to stay on this path....thanks to anyone who can help me through this as i do the same for them.....God bless

[Raindrop22]

Justagoodguy- I know that exact feeling. It's depression for sure. I'm sorry you're going through this. It takes more time for some people then it does others but what helps is if you fake it till you make it. Just get up and pretend for a second you're the happiest person and shake it off. It sounds small and mundane but it helps your brain to boost you up a bit. I had to do this for myself to get myself to quit feeling crappy at night. My nights are better then my days. During the day, I feel lonely and scared. At night I'm at peace and quiet.

 

 

Tind- that's funny and interesting! I had done that to one of my exes before. I was so angry at him I had to say all these things to let it out via email. It was excruciating but felt good. Now that I look back on it, I am embarrassed and definitely didn't mean a lot of what I said. It was a total "in the moment" thing. Needless to say, we didn't talk for 8 months. Periodically he would send breadcrumb texts. He never said he missed me. Just "hey what's up". I wouldn't respond. I'd just be super angry. Fast forward 8 months, we started dating again and I can't for the life of me tell you how that happened because it was so quick. We saw each other and BOOM! Couldn't be apart from that second on. Surprisingly we didn't talk much about the breakup. It was a mutual understanding that went bad. We dated for another year and I was in college and wanted to be free so I kinda did just that. I left him but he was nice and mutual about it. Fast forward 4 years! We are now friends. I am sure he likes me and if I wanted, we could give it another shot but timing isn't right. It's amazing what NC and time can do. I lurked this forum during those times and couldn't stand reading the "getting back together really does happen" forum because of false hope. I remember being angry so much that I just let him go due to how angry I was at him. Haha I couldn't date anyone. I went on dates but I totally disliked everyone! I couldn't let anyone have a chance, because in my mind they weren't him. I guess that's what happens when someone treats you great. I just hated his communication skills (the lack of).

 

Today I had it okay. Way better then yesterday. I am starting to eat a little more regularly now (not normal yet). But working on it. I am trying to shake off the depression but it takes time. I love him SO much and respect his wishes. Sometimes, if we love our partners as much as we say we do. It's just best not to freak the hell out and say things you might not mean. I never said anything hateful to him. I pleaded but kept it focused on the relationship. You don't wan to leave a bad taste in your exes mouth before departing. It's just no good. Be civil and if you didn't, well then there's a lot of things you need to learn. Calming yourself, self restraint, self love and compassion, dignity, and keeping a peaceful heart.

 

We have to realize that our partners didn't want to hurt us in the process. It was just that we happened to be casualties of this thing called love. We give it a shot and when we do, we have to expect that the amount we give is the amount that can be taken away. You hurt so badly because you loved. You got the experience it. If you want or hope for reconciliation, allow yourself to be mentally and physically in a better place. Teach yourself new things and new habits and get rid of habits that no longer serve you.

NC is a time for you to be introspective. Start writing your thoughts and feelings. Learn about yourself through them. Recognize your fears and walls and barriers. What's holding you back from being the best version of yourself? Is it anger? Frustration? Stress? Deep anxiety? Unfair arguments?

 

From friends and family, I know stress tends to get in the way of how someone communicates with their partner. It starts to make their partners believe they don't care or that they are purposely trying to hurt them. Sometimes we fall into this cycle and don't even realize it. Right now, let go of what no longer serves you. Manage your time better. Start up writing or yoga. Or if you're more extreme, there are many activities out there. I understand during this hard time, the motivation to do something different is just not there. You truly have to fake it till you make it. Life moves at an alarming rate when you keep yourself busy. When my ex ex and I parted for 8 months, it felt like 3 weeks had past but a lot had happened in those months. I was logging in my private journal and reflecting on those times. I found peace in my heart. When he came back, he told me he missed me. Even with all the crap that happened and the bad fights and zero communication. He said he missed me and that was more then enough and all I wanted to hear. It put to rest those negative thoughts I had about him seeing someone new, forgetting about me, etc.

He never forgot about me. He told me a certain song reminded him of me so he would purposely listen to it to think of me. He wasn't a hopeless romantic but his words made me felt like it. Love is not something that dies. It goes to the background sometimes and people fill their life with a lot of things to keep their ex at the back of their minds but it doesn't go away. It stays. Just understand what went wrong. Did someone cheat? Was there someone else? Was there built up resentment!? A lot of times it's just built up resentment that sends our partner storming out. They can't breath. They just need time to air it out and come back a more calmer person.

 

Sending love and prayers to all my heartbroken people out there tonight. Please feel free to private message me if needed.

I am going through the same thing and also feel awful and terrible. If there was something truly there. Trust that it will be all ok in time. Time is on your side. It will heal you but it will also bring back your lost love in one way or another. Life is mysterious that way. People always circle back. Trust the process and just breath and live for YOU.

[Tind]

Hi everyone i had been going through a tough time the last couple of days trying to get my ex to respond to me and in between this time i had been listening to a YouTube channel by Abraham Hicks she is a motivational speaker on law of attraction i had been listening to her speak on how to align yourself vibrationally with your vortex to attract what you need when you want it..i had been doing her work trusting the universe to give me the release i needed to move on and let go from my ex..that was all i needed i didn't want him back i just want to let go and not look back for my own sanity.. After doing her work my ex finally responded and when he did i felt like i finally got my power back and i am ready to move on..

 

If you are struggle to let go listen to one of Abraham hicks youtube channel on the laws of attraction or her inspirational speeches on moving on and letting go..they have helped me maybe they will help you too

[Raindrop22]

Tind- maybe I'll check it out.

 

 

Today I started a healing journal. I finally got a notebook to write in. I'm going to fill it up with all my pain, feelings, quotes, and doodles. Also my revelations and all the stuff I come up with while introspecting. Not to mention my therapy stuff too.

I'm sick of feeling this way and need to get my head on straight and move forward. I've been still NC. Just having difficult time with my thoughts and emotions.

 

I hope you all know that picking up the pieces after being hurt is something courageous. There will be people in our lives that will never know that feeling and that's ok. Some day you will look back on this moment like a distant friend and realize how much courage you had to get up from the ground and stand on your own two feet. This journey to self healing is not about the destination. As cliche as that sounds! It's about the journey there. It's hard. You're going to feel hopeless. You'll cry and feel pathetic. You'll lose your dignity and feel worthless. But you are not. You are so important. Right now it doesn't matter what your ex thinks or said. What matters is what you say. You matter. Do not give them the power to dictate your worth. No matter what the reason was for what happened, use this time to self reflect. Introspect. Look at yourself and think of behaviors your wish you could change. Write it down. Live it. Breathe it. And understand what YOU could have done differently. Let your ex worry about what they coulda done. Just focus on you. If your partner cheated, well then don't blame yourself. Their actions has to do with their own personal issues. Realize that you have different values then what they have. You value trust and honesty. There's always something to improve on. Be the person you envision your partner being. An honest, trusting, hard working, loyal, fair person. What's meant to be will always find its way. Promise.

[purpldreams]

Tind- maybe I'll check it out.

 

 

Today I started a healing journal. I finally got a notebook to write in. I'm going to fill it up with all my pain, feelings, quotes, and doodles. Also my revelations and all the stuff I come up with while introspecting. Not to mention my therapy stuff too.

I'm sick of feeling this way and need to get my head on straight and move forward. I've been still NC. Just having difficult time with my thoughts and emotions.

 

I hope you all know that picking up the pieces after being hurt is something courageous. There will be people in our lives that will never know that feeling and that's ok. Some day you will look back on this moment like a distant friend and realize how much courage you had to get up from the ground and stand on your own two feet. This journey to self healing is not about the destination. As cliche as that sounds! It's about the journey there. It's hard. You're going to feel hopeless. You'll cry and feel pathetic. You'll lose your dignity and feel worthless. But you are not. You are so important. Right now it doesn't matter what your ex thinks or said. What matters is what you say. You matter. Do not give them the power to dictate your worth. No matter what the reason was for what happened, use this time to self reflect. Introspect. Look at yourself and think of behaviors your wish you could change. Write it down. Live it. Breathe it. And understand what YOU could have done differently. Let your ex worry about what they coulda done. Just focus on you. If your partner cheated, well then don't blame yourself. Their actions has to do with their own personal issues. Realize that you have different values then what they have. You value trust and honesty. There's always something to improve on. Be the person you envision your partner being. An honest, trusting, hard working, loyal, fair person. What's meant to be will always find its way. Promise.

 

Very nice post. Thank you.

 

Broke NC today after 20 days, couldn't stand the situation anymore. As I mentioned before it's not an actual break-up, there was no real discussion about it and I am basically left with her words from 3 weeks ago: "the idea of a break-up terrifies me, I want to see this as a break, but I need to be alone at the moment". However I personally need it to be an actual break-up if that's what needed, because that limbo state is killing me. My peace of mind will be much greater after everything has been clarified. I will think a lot less about it, less questions unanswered, and more looking forward. And also, NC will make a lot more sense.

I left her a short, calm voice message, simply asking for a Skype session or that she calls me back when she can, just to talk. This way I can know what's on her mind, she can know what's on mine, and I get proper closure, if that's what's supposed to happen.

[Bigdeal123]

Tind- maybe I'll check it out.

 

 

Today I started a healing journal. I finally got a notebook to write in. I'm going to fill it up with all my pain, feelings, quotes, and doodles. Also my revelations and all the stuff I come up with while introspecting. Not to mention my therapy stuff too.

I'm sick of feeling this way and need to get my head on straight and move forward. I've been still NC. Just having difficult time with my thoughts and emotions.

 

I hope you all know that picking up the pieces after being hurt is something courageous. There will be people in our lives that will never know that feeling and that's ok. Some day you will look back on this moment like a distant friend and realize how much courage you had to get up from the ground and stand on your own two feet. This journey to self healing is not about the destination. As cliche as that sounds! It's about the journey there. It's hard. You're going to feel hopeless. You'll cry and feel pathetic. You'll lose your dignity and feel worthless. But you are not. You are so important. Right now it doesn't matter what your ex thinks or said. What matters is what you say. You matter. Do not give them the power to dictate your worth. No matter what the reason was for what happened, use this time to self reflect. Introspect. Look at yourself and think of behaviors your wish you could change. Write it down. Live it. Breathe it. And understand what YOU could have done differently. Let your ex worry about what they coulda done. Just focus on you. If your partner cheated, well then don't blame yourself. Their actions has to do with their own personal issues. Realize that you have different values then what they have. You value trust and honesty. There's always something to improve on. Be the person you envision your partner being. An honest, trusting, hard working, loyal, fair person. What's meant to be will always find its way. Promise.

 

 

 

He emailed me again last night. "So, do you get the sense that your recently-found email was off target or still fairly representative of your aspirations and or discontents?" That is what he is asking me. What should I say? why does he even give a damn?

[Raindrop22]

Bigdeal123- first of all that's an interesting way he is wording things. He's basically asking I guess "if that's how you really feel"? I think he is just breadcrumbing to get you to talk to him about nothing. At the same time maybe he is conflicted and wish for you to talk about how you're feeling lately. Which shouldn't matter because it's non of his business. Let me ask you this. Are you hoping to reconcile with him at some point or are you trying to move on from him?

[Raindrop22]

Purpldream- that's an interesting situation. I can't give you an answer as to what is wrong or right. Only you know your situation but at the same time, she put a foot out the door of this relationship. There had to be some doubts about the relationship regardless if life stresses. It's human nature to seek companion and have it when riding through life. When someone pushes you away or does it slightly with a break, they are testing to see how single life is but keeping you close incase it's scary and awful out there. If it were me, I would have NC for at least a full month to give her that space so you can focus on you. You may want her and for it to workout but you also have to find a balance in having some power. NC does exactly that. But then again, I wear my heart in my sleeves and it's easier said then done

[purpldreams]

Purpldream- that's an interesting situation. I can't give you an answer as to what is wrong or right. Only you know your situation but at the same time, she put a foot out the door of this relationship. There had to be some doubts about the relationship regardless if life stresses. It's human nature to seek companion and have it when riding through life. When someone pushes you away or does it slightly with a break, they are testing to see how single life is but keeping you close incase it's scary and awful out there. If it were me, I would have NC for at least a full month to give her that space so you can focus on you. You may want her and for it to workout but you also have to find a balance in having some power. NC does exactly that. But then again, I wear my heart in my sleeves and it's easier said then done

 

Thank you.

 

I really did want to do NC for a month, that was definitely the objective, I kind of panicked, I'll admit.

We had a casual chat on facebook following my message, I avoided everything I want to talk about, Skype will come later in the week.

[Bigdeal123]

He broke up with me over a text on Christmas Eve Day. Telling me our relationship is not going anywhere. Then when I proceed to tell him I don't think he cares for me deeply: "I am done pretending that I matter to you. I am not your girl. you are not my rock." He sent me an email telling me due to my vitriol texts, he had to block me from his phone. I did not hear from him till 01/31: "I unblocked you under assumption you will be more cordial at this point in life. We need to make a time to exchange our personal items." He gave me one, just one option and since I couldn't do, it is still yet to happen! I didn't hear from him till last Monday and asking for that vitriol texts again!!!! In these almost 4 months of breakup, I have absolutely done nothing to initiate contact at all. It is all his. Back to you question, he and I got along so well. He is a loner. My kids(grownups) and I were his only family besides a brother who lives in another state. No friends, nothing. An introverted to the t! He, however, I don't believe for a second that ever had any intention of hurting me by whatever he did. It is just how and who he is. That is why now is so confusing for me that if he actually doesn't want to hurt me or to be with me, he knows clearly by he, staying in the picture, there is no way I can move on from being dumped and this breakup! So what does he want then?

[Bigdeal123]

p.s: It sounds funny (being dumped)... I, by no means, have the attitude of a victim for using that word. Nor am I trying to insult anyone by using it! Just a little sense of humor to lighten things up!

[Raindrop22]

I am also dealing with someone who is an introvert.

 

Well did he talk about what he meant about the relationship not going anywhere? Maybe it has to do with communication.

Introverts work a little differently in that you have to understand how he comes across and feels. It's tricky! I had a hard time but willing to spend time learning. I am more social and not as closed off as he is. In contrast I come off more chatty which can be off putting to him. He might enjoy silence and solitude as a means to refresh. Meanwhile, it might be different from you. It's hard for an introvert to mesh with someone who can't understand how they operate, this was kind of one of the issues with my current ex. I love him but never took time to be patient and understanding, I came off pushy, demanding, obnoxious, and always getting in his way. Now I'm learning to chill the eff out and realize trying to understand and know everything is exhausting. I rather be happy. Ha! I wonder if any of this makes sense. Don't look into what he means. At this point you can direct the conversation to see how he truly feels and what happened. If you're ready for it. But when you do ask him, be prepared to be patient with his response and not say something emotionally driven. When you mentioned that you said "I am done pretending to I matter to you". It's making him feel guilty and puts you in a negative light. It'll push him to feel relief. A more rational response would be to either say nothing and leave and keep NC. Or you could say "ok I would like to know the ways in which things went wrong. I value your thoughts and opinions and would appreciate knowing what has happened". Haha ok so something like that.

 

When my ex and I spoke, I didn't blame him or yell about his decision. I pleaded a bit and asked if we could work on it and take it slow. But realized he needs space to breath. He loves me but doesn't need any more negativity. I don't want to push him away. I want him to see me as understanding and comforting. This could make him second guess and realize maybe I am capable of my emotions and he was wrong to an extent. Be calm and let him feel like you are an inviting person to talk to. I hope things work out. Must be a difficult time for you.

[JustAGoodGuy]

Justagoodguy- I know that exact feeling. It's depression for sure. I'm sorry you're going through this. It takes more time for some people then it does others but what helps is if you fake it till you make it. Just get up and pretend for a second you're the happiest person and shake it off. It sounds small and mundane but it helps your brain to boost you up a bit. I had to do this for myself to get myself to quit feeling crappy at night. My nights are better then my days. During the day, I feel lonely and scared. At night I'm at peace and quiet.

 

Depressing for sure. Today's been an okay day, but it seems to come in "waves". I'll have a few REALLY bad days followed by a couple okay ones. Even on my okay days I can't seem to shake the thought in the back of my mind that another wave of bad days are bound to follow. I got way too much spare time on my hands at the moment which is making it really hard. I still think about her all the time, even when I'm out with my friends. I try not to talk about it too much and I try to have fun and pretend to be happy. I think it feels good knowing there's someone there to vent to if I feel the need to though. I'm just getting worried that I'm starting to sound like a broken record to them because it's been about 2 months since we broke up.

 

Today I had it okay. Way better then yesterday. I am starting to eat a little more regularly now (not normal yet). But working on it. I am trying to shake off the depression but it takes time. I love him SO much and respect his wishes. Sometimes, if we love our partners as much as we say we do. It's just best not to freak the hell out and say things you might not mean. I never said anything hateful to him. I pleaded but kept it focused on the relationship. You don't wan to leave a bad taste in your exes mouth before departing. It's just no good. Be civil and if you didn't, well then there's a lot of things you need to learn. Calming yourself, self restraint, self love and compassion, dignity, and keeping a peaceful heart.

 

I've made the mistake of freaking the hell out awhile back. I said alot of things I know I shouldn't have and I definitely regret. I couldn't help it though. Being ignored and finding out she was with someone else so soon made me explode. I've since sincerely apologised for saying the things I said but she never responded and didn't seem to care that I was really trying to turn over a new leaf, which sucks. I know I've made the "classic mistakes" that only makes things worse but I just wish she could forgive me already, and see that I really started trying to do the right thing. At this point, I think it's wanting that forgiveness that continues to hurt me. I know we had a good relationship so it's just weighing heavily on my conscience knowing that she probably hates me because of the things I said. I know I shouldn't expect that from her and she doesn't owe me anything--although, an explanation would be nice--but that's just the kind of person I am. I tend not to care what people think of me, unless what they think of me isn't who I am. She just seems to be holding a grudge on me for freaking out and saying things I shouldn't have and didn't mean (well, they were mostly accusations, which turned out to be true so I kind of did mean them but I know it was wrong of me for bombarding her with them). I know we could still have a healthy friendship because of all our shared interests. She brought so much positivity and good influence in my life, which I lacked before and struggle to find--not just through her but also through her family and friends--so it's been really hard not having that anymore.

[Raindrop22]

Try private messaging me if you can.

 

I know what it means to sound like a broken record. I feel the same way at this point. All I keep doing is over analyzing and thinkin a lot about it. For you it's been 2 months. For me it's been a little over 3 weeks. It's one of the hardest things but we will be stronger cause of it.

 

Right now it's a denial phase. We are over analyzing because we are stuck in denial. We don't want to believe it is OVER. We hold onto hope, chance, love, feelings, emotions, them. It's hard to cut the chord on something when it's all you wanted but the other person stepped away. It's hard to accept what they decided because we don't agree.

 

The last thing I said to my ex, was hard and believe me I cried my ass off. I said "I accept your decision and stand by it because if you feel it is right, it must be. I don't want to argue or fight anymore about who is right or wrong. This is a decision I will stand by you on. And accept it even if I don't agree. Because that's what love is".

Ok so I didn't say exactly those words but something like that. Sounds pity-ful now that I think back on it. Oh well. I think I'm inbetween angry and sad. Whatever that means!

 

 

PM! I'd love to have a breakup buddy system to help through this .

[Raindrop22]

I am thinking of starting a healing journal on here but I don't know yet. Hmm!

 

I have a hand written journal already. But it'd be nice to reach out to others on here to hold me accountable and to help others as well. Hmmmmmm

[Bigdeal123]

I am also dealing with someone who is an introvert.

 

Well did he talk about what he meant about the relationship not going anywhere? Maybe it has to do with communication.

Introverts work a little differently in that you have to understand how he comes across and feels. It's tricky! I had a hard time but willing to spend time learning. I am more social and not as closed off as he is. In contrast I come off more chatty which can be off putting to him. He might enjoy silence and solitude as a means to refresh. Meanwhile, it might be different from you. It's hard for an introvert to mesh with someone who can't understand how they operate, this was kind of one of the issues with my current ex. I love him but never took time to be patient and understanding, I came off pushy, demanding, obnoxious, and always getting in his way. Now I'm learning to chill the eff out and realize trying to understand and know everything is exhausting. I rather be happy. Ha! I wonder if any of this makes sense. Don't look into what he means. At this point you can direct the conversation to see how he truly feels and what happened. If you're ready for it. But when you do ask him, be prepared to be patient with his response and not say something emotionally driven. When you mentioned that you said "I am done pretending to I matter to you". It's making him feel guilty and puts you in a negative light. It'll push him to feel relief. A more rational response would be to either say nothing and leave and keep NC. Or you could say "ok I would like to know the ways in which things went wrong. I value your thoughts and opinions and would appreciate knowing what has happened". Haha ok so something like that.

 

When my ex and I spoke, I didn't blame him or yell about his decision. I pleaded a bit and asked if we could work on it and take it slow. But realized he needs space to breath. He loves me but doesn't need any more negativity. I don't want to push him away. I want him to see me as understanding and comforting. This could make him second guess and realize maybe I am capable of my emotions and he was wrong to an extent. Be calm and let him feel like you are an inviting person to talk to. I hope things work out. Must be a difficult time for you.

 

That is the thing! I was in complete dark. Had no clue he wanted to breakup with. He never said a thing. He asked why I want for Christmas. He said he will spend the night on Christmas eve at my house and we go with the kids to dinner so that when the kids open their presents, he is there! He texted me at 6:30 with usual honey and good morning lovey and so and by 2pm, I was like he was someone else! I am myself an introverted but bcs of my life style and kids and so, I have adapted to a few things other than just being plain introverted. "I am done pretending..." was after he Texted (remember we never met or talked on the phone to break up) whatever he wanted to and saying: "well, the water is under the bridge." I am fine either way. He comes back and we start over in a healthy more communicative way or he walks away for good. But he cant have the cake and eat it too. He knows how I feel for him and if he doesn't feel he same for me, maybe he should set me free so I can find the one who does.

[Raindrop22]

He did set you free though. You're free right now. You're no longer his girl. He let you go!

Just texts and comments aren't anything other than breadcrumbs. Don't think too much into it. Walk away like a boss lady and say whatever this is bull crap and go.

[Raindrop22]

2 months of no contact. He thinks you've likely moved on and he's likely just being a friend. Just let him go if you can't stand the confusion. It'll only drive you crazy.

[Bigdeal123]

last time, it took him 4 months!!!!!! lol. And last time, he did this... it was 4 months of absolute no contact! He started sending me emails about Bonobos!!! The closest relatives of human race in monkeys and according to evolution!

and oh, his encounter with one of his exes back in Texas! I know the guy. If he wanted me as a friend, he wouldn't ask for my so called texts regarding my feelings toward him! I am fine without him. I am not going crazy. I know him so well and his impulses. He knows if I had moved on, I wouldn't be responding to him bcs he knows I finish one business before starting another one!

[jmann45]

I accept this challenge. She said she wanted a break on march 28th. she contacted me here and there throughout and i think i contacted her once up until saturday night. She texted me and we talked for a few minutes, i said goodnight. didnt get anything back. that bugged the crap out of me. Called her, asked her if everything in her "break" is going okay. she said yea. asked her if she needs the relationship. she agreed that it isnt a right time for a relationship for her. No contact started sunday. It hurt like hell on sunday. unfollowed her on instagram. she has her facebook de activated so cant do much there.

 

Cant stop thinking about her. the breakup was very vague on her part and she didnt talk much. it was more confusing than anything. its only day 2. miss her so bad. messaged her "best friend" and asked her to talk to me in private just so i can clear things up in my own head. She said she respects that and will text me when she has time.

 

Im mainly confused on whether she really just wanted space or if it was another person. my thread and story are

 

I hope this is worth it. last i texted her 2 days ago, i told her to forget any plans we had made too (trips, dances, ect) and to never text back or call, to keep anything she has of mine. and to "have a great life (

[jmann45]

I accept this challenge. She said she wanted a break on march 28th. she contacted me here and there throughout and i think i contacted her once up until saturday night. She texted me and we talked for a few minutes, i said goodnight. didnt get anything back. that bugged the crap out of me. Called her, asked her if everything in her "break" is going okay. she said yea. asked her if she needs the relationship. she agreed that it isnt a right time for a relationship for her. No contact started sunday. It hurt like hell on sunday. unfollowed her on instagram. she has her facebook de activated so cant do much there.

 

Cant stop thinking about her. the breakup was very vague on her part and she didnt talk much. it was more confusing than anything. its only day 2. miss her so bad. messaged her "best friend" and asked her to talk to me in private just so i can clear things up in my own head. She said she respects that and will text me when she has time.

 

Im mainly confused on whether she really just wanted space or if it was another person. my thread and story are

 

I hope this is worth it. last i texted her 2 days ago, i told her to forget any plans we had made too (trips, dances, ect) and to never text back or call, to keep anything she has of mine. and to "have a great life (

 

Talked to her friend last night who said she had no idea that my ex called me a few nights ago and we completely broke up.. she said she didnt know anything. she said that my ex is going through some family situations as far as she knows..i said its okay. and that i hope shes okay. got no info from that convo, ompletely pointless. today is day 3 NC. as soon as i wake up i think about her. throughout the day. until i sleep.

 

i read this article online to think about 3 positive things in life every morning even if theyre little. started doing that, its helping allitle. but other than that, just kinda depressed..

[Tind]

Hi i have been struggling the last few days since last thursday ..my ex texted me over the weekend because i was harassing him i felt i.had to let my anger out or i would go mad and i lost it on him I was surprise he did not threaten to call the police...I was going through the anger phase and i still am..i don't want him back but i want him to feel the pain he put me through

 

Anyways i met someone .. We are suppose to meet up on Sunday even though i met someone else i still feel like a failure because i couldn't make things work with my ex..i don't know who i am so angry with weather it's with myself or my ex