THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[MrBrightside15]

Will do! What day of NC are you on?

I stopped counting after 30, but about two months. Hard to believe it's only been that long. Seems so much longer..

[saluk]

I got a letter in the mail from my ex! OK it's not actually a letter. It's an invitation. It's an invitation to her wedding. Her handwriting on the envelope with a "Mr." in front of my name. She also included an address to the church. Like I don't know where the church is! The church we met in. The church I live across the street from in the apartment building where we were neighbors.

 

Made my night and morning pretty annoying thinking of whether or not to go, trying to figure out why she invited me and whether or not she really wants me there.

 

It's really weird that she would invite me. I can't go. And I know it would probably be bad for me if I went. But there's a part of me that wants to. Like watching it happen will cement something for me. Or if I'm there I can stop it somehow. Bleh. Just venting.

[sb26]

I got a letter in the mail from my ex! OK it's not actually a letter. It's an invitation. It's an invitation to her wedding. Her handwriting on the envelope with a "Mr." in front of my name. She also included an address to the church. Like I don't know where the church is! The church we met in. The church I live across the street from in the apartment building where we were neighbors.

 

Made my night and morning pretty annoying thinking of whether or not to go, trying to figure out why she invited me and whether or not she really wants me there.

 

It's really weird that she would invite me. I can't go. And I know it would probably be bad for me if I went. But there's a part of me that wants to. Like watching it happen will cement something for me. Or if I'm there I can stop it somehow. Bleh. Just venting.

 

Had I been at your place, I would have never even acknowledged the wedding invite, forget about attending!

Don't go...it will refreash all the past memories.

Fun for her and pain for you.

[saluk]

Had I been at your place, I would have never even acknowledged the wedding invite, forget about attending!

Don't go...it will refreash all the past memories.

Fun for her and pain for you.

 

Will it really be fun for her if I sit in the back with my arms crossed the whole time Nah, I feel more OK about it now. Mostly just a shock because the way she avoids me at church I had basically been prepared (and fine) with not getting an invite. The rest of my friends and some of my family will be there. She probably was just worried that it would look bad inviting them and not me. Totally an ego thing, not wanting to look bad. It's no big deal.

 

Still shocked though lol.

[sb26]

Will it really be fun for her if I sit in the back with my arms crossed the whole time Nah, I feel more OK about it now. Mostly just a shock because the way she avoids me at church I had basically been prepared (and fine) with not getting an invite. The rest of my friends and some of my family will be there. She probably was just worried that it would look bad inviting them and not me. Totally an ego thing, not wanting to look bad. It's no big deal.

 

Still shocked though lol.

 

Its her wedlock with the person she chose to be with for the rest of her life, so its a fun for her. You sitting and watching her, won't be a fun for sure.

But now that you shared the reason behing sending you the invite, would you be still attending the wedding?

[saluk]

Probably no. But there is a lot to consider. For sure, "fun" isn't the right word to use for me, but cathartic maybe? And there will be a lot of people there that I like. Some of her friends who I haven't seen in a while might be there. Who knows what could happen. And seeing her around afterwards if I don't go? I mean, things have been awkward for a while so it's not like it will be worse - if I go, maybe it's less awkward later. I'd say 33% chance going is actually a good thing. 80% chance I'll cry at the wedding... but it's a wedding They are actually already married which makes the whole thing strange to me (who elopes and then has a quick and dirty wedding 2 months later?), and seeing it may make that sink in more. 50% chance it makes me feel really horrible again... for like a couple days. I'm really experienced in working through those kinds of feelings by now.

 

But no, I'm not going to go. I hope I don't regret it later.

[SuzyMacQ]

Day 1

Completed! He phoned me on Skype but I didn't have it turned on so I missed the call. I'm confused as to why he would call me there. Maybe just testing me to see if I mean it this time. I guess if he really wanted to reach me he would have phoned my cell, which I have on silence all the time so I will miss that call too.

 

Feeling hopeful today. I have found some comfort from this site. As much as I don't wish for anyone to go through this, it's nice to know you're not alone.

[sb26]

Probably no. But there is a lot to consider. For sure, "fun" isn't the right word to use for me, but cathartic maybe? And there will be a lot of people there that I like. Some of her friends who I haven't seen in a while might be there. Who knows what could happen. And seeing her around afterwards if I don't go? I mean, things have been awkward for a while so it's not like it will be worse - if I go, maybe it's less awkward later. I'd say 33% chance going is actually a good thing. 80% chance I'll cry at the wedding... but it's a wedding They are actually already married which makes the whole thing strange to me (who elopes and then has a quick and dirty wedding 2 months later?), and seeing it may make that sink in more. 50% chance it makes me feel really horrible again... for like a couple days. I'm really experienced in working through those kinds of feelings by now.

 

But no, I'm not going to go. I hope I don't regret it later.

 

Don't worry. You won't regret.

[SeanCages]

Will it really be fun for her if I sit in the back with my arms crossed the whole time Nah, I feel more OK about it now. Mostly just a shock because the way she avoids me at church I had basically been prepared (and fine) with not getting an invite. The rest of my friends and some of my family will be there. She probably was just worried that it would look bad inviting them and not me. Totally an ego thing, not wanting to look bad. It's no big deal.

 

Still shocked though lol.

 

You could go and stand up when the pastor asks if anyone knows any reason they should not marry.

 

It's either that or don't go and move on. You can't 'just attend'. When she's married, your game is over and you should be ok with that.

[SuzyMacQ]

I have to start again. I sent him a Skype message in response to his call the night before. I retrieved the message after I sent it because it made me feel terrible. But I have to still co0nsider it contact so I'll start again. I just want to be done with it and get on with my life. Today is a new day!

[sunflowercurls]

I stopped counting after 30, but about two months. Hard to believe it's only been that long. Seems so much longer..

 

That's how I've been feeling too. Cheers to NC!

[coldmoon]

i broke NC, had some nice communication with ex today, will see how things go.

[kickedin]

day 70 for me... I still miss her (good times) she facebook called me (weird we arent friends so it doesnt seem like an accident) at 130 am on a friday night(day 60)....I haven't responded because for one it was not even a real phone call and two there was no message or any other attempts on my real cell.... I feel like she was just drunk and was looking for me on facebook or reading our old messages etc... if she wants to talk I think shes gotta make a better effort as part of me wants to see if we can fix but another bigger part of me says shes young immature and doesnt seem to want to put the effort into a relationship.... So I just keep moving forward day by day some days are rough I will admit... Very hard for me not to reach out and say " hey I saw you facebook called me" ...... my fear is that she will ignore it or act like she knew nothing about it and then I think I will feel worse

[sunflowercurls]

Day 31 officially. I'm feeling a little bit better about NC and she isn't in my head as much as she used to be. Although, I can tell that my NC is getting to her because of her "cryptic" posts and statuses she writes...and to that, I say:

"Frankly my dear, I don't give a damn."

 

I've been focusing more on myself and getting back to my true passions. I know that I can only go up from here.

[cortneys11]

Has anybody in this thread read the Mars/Venus books? In them John Gray says when having a huge fight with a partner wait 12 hours to apologize. When getting in a fight that ends in a 'break up' wait at least 3 days to apologize. If the person doesn't accept your apology go 30 days with no contact before trying again or move on.

[saluk]

3 days till the wedding! I finally recycled the invitation this week and am planning on spending the day far away. Too much work to do on the house anyway! Last post about her? I hope so.

[sb26]

Lucky all of you! You don't have to see them everyday. Out of sight, out of mind. Mine tries to keep coming in front of me for one or the other reason. Its hard to just ignore his presence when he intentionally keeps striking. Don't understand what does he want now?

[sadscotsman]

I'm on day 89 of no contact. She said she would be in touch to sort the last few things out. It's driving me mad waiting to hear shall I just get in touch to sort out what is needed do you think?

 

I miss her hugely but sad she has been so unfair.

[JustAGoodGuy]

I'll call this THE BEGINNING OF DAY 1

 

My ex-girlfriend broke up with me about 5 weeks ago. Our relationship was great and so was our friendship before. I was blind-sided and did not see it coming. I'm still devastated. I've tried no-contact during that time but broke it periodically (longest was 3 weeks, other than work related contact) usually because I would start to feel better about talking to her as a friend, which she constantly promised we would be, only to be shut down and hurt again. I'm emotionally drained, depressed, and tired of being strung along by the balls. This time I'm serious about no-contact. It's been difficult doing no-contact because we work together and it re-opens the wound EVERY time I'm there. Tonight I packed up her remaining belongings she purposely left at my place (probably for an excuse to come back once she's played the field) and brought them to work. I had the next 2 weeks off work anyways, so I put in my 2 weeks notice. At the end of the day I gave her, her stuff back, she said, "thank you" and I said, "your mind is made up, I guess this is goodbye". I told her nothing about leaving my job. She asked, "you're not coming back here?". I said, "goodbye (insert name here)" and I walked away. I felt terrible the whole drive home and brokedown and cried when I got home. It may seem rash to leave my job but I couldn't do it anymore. People's lives are in my hands and I shouldn't be there with my mindset right now. Now I'm depressed, unemployed, and trying to see through the fog to see what the future has in store...

[sunflowercurls]

Day 35:

 

I made the mistake of looking at some pictures of her and now, I've been thinking about her constantly. I haven't reached out and don't plan to, but I can't get her out of my head. I honestly wish that she felt the hurt that I'm feeling. We've been broken up for 2 months now and I'm still a hot mess. When will it be over?

[Rubyren]

Day 1 of Nc. I am having withdrawals. This is day one of Nc as I responded to his text yesterday. I woke up with major anxiety. Wanted to contact him all day but been holding strong. I was the one to break up and he is taking it very hard and I am taking it pretty hard too. But I think it's the right thing to do as I cannot see a future.

[JustAGoodGuy]

Day 2 of N/C

35 days since breakup

 

I'm emotionally exhausted. Having a VERY hard time letting this one go. She still consumes my thoughts 24/7. Overall, been one of my better days though

[amerie]

Hello I'm on day 9 of NC, if I'm honest it's killing me. He broke up with me saying I don't see a future with us, we get on really well and things are OK but. .. I won't go into it. Then after 2wks I did the move in let's make a go blah blah. . (We had been together for 8yrs broke up for 18mths then got back together for just over a year). I had heard within those 2wks that he was in contact with someone else he said he doesn't know what's going to happen with her they hadn't been out but he still texting her or whatever.

Anyway day 1 - 6 was good day, bad day.. the past 3 days have been bad I wake up ok strong, then add the day goes on everything reminds me of him and us together. Tears, anger tears. Wondering if he's thinking of me, missing me etc. . I want him back and I feel stupid for it.

[sunflowercurls]

Day 37:

 

She just texted me, but I didn't respond to it. As much as I wanted to, I didn't. I've made it this far and there's no way in hell that I'm undoing all of my hard work. On the positive side, I do have only the positive memories of her in my head. I'm not angry anymore because I know that she's going to get what's coming to her. I'm a strong believer in karma.

 

Stay strong y'all!

[sb26]

I am missing him terrilbly. I need some advise/encouragement.