THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[janut1]

Day 25

 

Just another day without a relationship. It hit me that I have been single for 25 days.

 

I start therapy today and I am looking forward to talking about this to someone who is impartial.

[missmymikey]

I'm not going to lie and tell myself that I am not in love with him...

 

....I'm just going to love myself more.....

[JA0371]

Day 19:

 

Woke up thinking of him....glad Im at work. I'm in a good mindset...looking forward to getting through this 30 days unscathed .

[BringinMahoney]

First time poster, previous lurker. My girlfriend of 4 yrs, changed the locks, left me with only my clothes, nothing else. Think about that for a minute....no family friends busy with there own lives.... Found I had a facebook page from 6 yrs ago which I never used. Found I did a search for my ex-wife just to see if she was dead or alive, she was and from what I hear still is a raving drug addict. Found out I had done some talking on a dating sight from 2010 when we first met and haven't been active since, and then bammo...out the door I was. Kick out date was April 8th. Kept the receipt I had from the motel room I had to go to for a week.....from then until this past Sunday 6/22 texted her and she returned, only after I texted her every couple of weeks, sporatically. Nothing new, (her) your fault you did this to me, can't trust you again. (Me) I didn't cheat, not my fault, need you, my world etceteraaaa, etceteraaaa.....Last text I tried the casual "hey past by church where we met your dad last Christmas", got back, "I went out too...fun, we will be ok"...then 2nd text, "see you never wanted to go that far to take me to see my Dad, that confirms why I did this to you"......I am 43 she is 49.

 

So day 4 of real NC. Ups and downs...I stay busy, the intense sick stomach feeling is gone but the wondering mind lets loose....Im good until late at night just before I go to bed and there it is. Alone, nothing on the 4,585,000 channels we all pay for and just a little text nothing more...NO...I cannot. Then the morning comes....silence...crickets..me in the shower hurrying to get out the door to hear life........It's the mind that tricks you more than the heart I think......each passing hour is another step closer to the date on my Calendar of NC. Boy this is hard....

[ZenZenny]

Day 12

 

I been in my feelings this morning lol. Tweeting stuff about my past relationship and just venting about how it's funny how things can change and how you can meet the right person but at the wrong time. I think I'm tweeting this stuff with the subconscious intention that she see it and it make her think or make her feel some type of way about it. But the fact that I can admit that to myself doesn't make it subconscious I guess. But at the same time putting my thoughts out there help me vent instead of holding all of it in.

 

People always say "don't let them see you sweat", but I don't think this is her seeing me "sweat" idk. I just am tired of holding thoughts in and I don't always have someone in particular who I want to vent to so I take to twitter and let them come out a bit, but still not very extreme.

 

NC still going good. I wish I had a message from her to ignore lol. As childish as that sounds I just kind of wish there was some sort of sign that I'm not the only one still concerned about the friendship ending at all

[t1lersm0m1]

Woo hoo! I feel so good. In the initial break up, we were remaining friends. He needed time to "think". This was causing me tremendous anxiety. After about a week of not hearing from him, I would call or text and act insecure. I'm working on getting ME back. Making it to day 30 feels wonderful. A huge accomplishment.

 

I didn't do any of this to get him back. Deep down I wasn't happy in our relationship. My ex was/is a WONDERFUL man. Just not the right fit.

 

I'm working on me. And through growth, I will be better for my next partner.

[BringinMahoney]

DAY 5

 

The weekend busy most of the time and still find the time to think of her......Why do our thoughts go back to the dumper...shouldn't we be mad enough to not think about them.

 

Wonder if they think of us?????

[janut1]

Day 26

 

I'm almost to day 30 and feeling much better today then I did in the first week of NC. I think I can do this now. I think about what I would do if he contacted me to say he wanted to reconcile and I get a knot in my stomach. I really don't think I can go back to how it was ever again. And he has made no moves to speak to me about us anyway.

 

My therapy session was awesome. We touched on all my long term relationships, and she feels that I broke up with my X, not the other way around. I was thinking that might be the case, but we ended it on text and it was not very specific. There was NO closure what so ever. She asked me if I needed that, I said it would be nice, but I don't think he is capable. He avoids conflict/confrontations at all costs.

 

Just talking to her made me think about all that I put up with and I have to say I allowed him to manipulate me from the very beginning of our relationship. So, working on that.

 

As t1lersm0m1 is doing, I am in a relationship free zone for 90 days. My therapist liked that idea a lot.

[HumphreyAlex1]

Welcome to the "rebound" scene.

[the dude91]

Day 16

 

Jeez I hate leaving for a short time because I fell for breadcrumbs. She contacted me 17 days ago apologizing for the way she was acting towards me since the breakup and then asked if we could be friends, of course I said no and then she asked if we could at least meet for breakfast the next day to talk and I said sure. Then that night I get a text from her saying that she can't see me, she just can't. From what I gathered, her and that guy had broken up because he was talking to his ex again but then that night I'm guessing he told her he'd stop talking to the ex and the next day he and my ex got back together. My ex was trying to use me as a back up plan. So now I'm back to NC and at day 16, I really need to move on, nowadays it seems as if she has. But the other day at work(we work in the same facility but at opposite ends and it's a pretty big facility so we rarely if at all will ever see each other) I caught her staring at me, twice while I was walking a client in her wheelchair. I found that pretty weird that she'd watch me when she's supposedly over me. But whatever, I'd drive myself crazy trying to understand what's going on in her mind or feelings. I just need to move on.

[3Tears]

I was wondering where you went, I thought you had gotten back together.

 

Our exes are acting so similar with the hot/cold, push/pull BS, but stay strong man, I'm also trying my very best, we don't deserve to get treated this way, not after what we've went through for them.

[BringinMahoney]

Day 6

 

The physical knots are gone, but the mind still wonders about her. How do you stop at least wanting her to contact yoi, even if you know you won't return the favor just so you know that they at least think about you?

Busy day to day....but at the end of it i will still be here in the apartment alone...but i will get there.

[janut1]

DAY 27

 

Just another day. Hope to relax a bit and enjoy a bike ride. I'm sleeping better now, which is great. I do still think of him when I wake up, but the awful feeling of lose is gone. I have to keep moving forward, there is no other choice.

[missmymikey]

Day 4......i wish i never started this......my boyfriend.....my best friend.....sent me about 100 texts .....he teased swore and blamed me for everything that ended our relationship......including getting drunk....L.A. Recovery program encouraged him to go on drinking binge which they claimed ok and legal .....so he broke 4 month sobriety

.....and his schitzophrenic rages and attacks threw me out of our awesome home. His parents hate me and control him. 2 days ago he texted me someting different than his usual parent inspired hateful attacks... He texted me that he loved me......he said im a beautifl woman.....that this is my summer.....and that i should be happy smile and enjoy life. He said there was a problem with his probation......and now hes in prison. He went to prison the last time he broke up with me and ran to his parents. I know i should detach from this hateful sociopath family....but i have to be honest.....i love him and wish i had ne er dine nc to him. He had found us a new home and he was workinv and he asked fir my help.....and i said nothing..... I will never see my dog again.....and my true love is indefinitely in prison. Im gonña go struggle to fi nd shelter and money.,.bye y all......

 

 

 

I

 

 

SuperDave71

[the dude91]

I was wondering where you went, I thought you had gotten back together.

 

Our exes are acting so similar with the hot/cold, push/pull BS, but stay strong man, I'm also trying my very best, we don't deserve to get treated this way, not after what we've went through for them.

 

Nope I'm still lurking around here, I just didn't want to start from day 1 again. But yeah, they're playing games with us thinking we're sure things so sticking to NC will be our best defense to give them a reality shock. And yes you're right, we do not deserve this after all we went through for them, all the sacrifices made and going out of our way all the time for them. But they'll learn and by then I plan on it being too late for her. Going 17 days today, hopefully it'll be good.

[floridasfinest]

I am technically on day 11...but its been about 23 days since I actually sent a real conversational piece. Wow I actually didnt notice it has been that long...I suppose I am wishing it wasnt, since I do really miss her. But whatever. Once trust is broken there is really no point in getting back together anyways.

 

Good luck to all those in NC!! it sucks, but it has to be done

[t1lersm0m1]

Day 31

 

Stay strong....NC works to get yourself back.

[the dude91]

Day 17

 

Well they've been together for over a month now and I'm getting this feeling like it's not a rebound. Maybe she's actually happier with this guy than she was with me? It hurts but if that's the case then I'll be happy for her and wait for my own amazing lady to come by. But I'll admit, that wait is killing me, patience isn't particularly a strong suite of mine. These last few days has been particularly hard, ever since my friend brought her up when we were hanging out the other day. I guess he didn't realize that I was never talking about her for a reason. It's been almost 3 months now since the breakup, why am I still struggling to move on so much when it took her about a month? I wish this NC thing started working sooner so I could be moved on already, again it's the patience.

[2 months away]

I went on a date and it was terrible. There was nothing wrong with the guy; I could tell he was interested in me and had I not met you, I would have been interested too. Instead, I spent time juxtaposing your features on his face, wondering why he didn't say the things you would say. It was really strange.

[t1lersm0m1]

Nothing further to say

[TripTheDeep]

Day 4-ish (I didn't post here earlier because I was a lurker until recently)

 

Went through a pretty serious low today, but I pulled out of it surprisingly faster than any other low I've felt.

 

I wonder if I can get past the feeling of wanting to contact her in the future.

 

The relationship ended over extremely little things we both understood we could work on, and chose to work on. But I guess things got complicated when a third person came in and fudged the picture. I wish he didn't, but what can I do? I have this summer to do me, and once August hits I'll be smooth sailing in keeping busy with lots of friends and trips. I just gotta last through July.

[the dude91]

Day 18

 

Wasn't a bad day today. Interestingly enough at work though my ex drove past me in a state bus and did a little finger wave at me. and then later on she texted me saying that I look good with a blushing emoticon. I didn't reply then she sent another text saying she didn't mean that in a creepy way or anything. It's been taking everything I have to not reply, it's extremely hard because I don't like being rude to people no matter how rude they are to me. But I still haven't replied amazingly enough but I can already feel it being a struggle tomorrow and the rest of the week to not reply. Is it really such a bad idea to even accept a compliment during NC?

[Steve29]

Day 1.

 

I'm not going to post here every day as that might be a bit counter-productive, but I will do if I break the streak.

[BringinMahoney]

Day 1 again....

 

Crap I gave in yesterday, but it was an angry give in, well first text I sent was a I shoulda coulda woulda blah blah blah text, then the angry text as to how the breakup was. I was on day 7. I seem to do better during the week. I have been active lost 22lbs and go see and do but it seems while I am going and seeing and doing my thoughts always go to her. Why? Oof this sux she has this power over me and she doesn't even know it. How do I stay in no contact?

[ProjectNC]

Day 2 of NC.

Relationship ended 4 days ago. We had been dating for 2 years at this point, however he broke up with me once before for almost the same reasons. It felt like deja vu. "I don't know if I want to be in a relationship" "I need my indepedence back" and an added "I feel responsible for your feelings and disappointments" this time.. At one point during his drunk ranting he asked me to convince him to stay with me, I flat our refused to beg or grovel for his love.

 

The worst part was the way he selfishly kept saying "i'm the ", it's always been his crippling self centered attitude I can't comprehend. I suspect he is incapable of having real emotional intimacy with anyone, and would prefer to run away as soon as anything threatens his ego.

 

Either way, after he was done with his sobbing I told him to get lost. Since i'm in the process of moving to a new appartment I boxed up his things and gave them to a friend. Two days ago I let him know she would be dropping his things off, my message was courteous and to the point. He responded with a thank you, and added "if you ever want to talk, I'll listen". I haven't responded, I don't even want to analyse what that means.

 

I'm trying to stay positive and live my life to the fullest, i'm spending lots of time with friends and keeping busy with work and hobbies. Surprisingly enough, I don't feel the same desire to contact him as I did the other time we broke up..

Thanks for reading, any advice is appreciated!