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BringinMahoney

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  1. BringinMahoney
    Day 17 Don't know what it is. I have not even seen her in over 4 months but the last few days I have this urge to want her. It's as though my senses towards her have not faded but grown stronger. WHY????? I am dating other women working out living a single man's life. But why is she not faded as little as she has in my mind and heart.
  2. BringinMahoney
    Day 13 After 4 months of breakup and begging texts, missing you texts and trying to remind her that I do exist texts. Well, I have worked on myself. 34 lbs lighter and a few more muscles that were lurking beneath the layer of "fat and happy". But still hanging in there. What sucks is I am being noticed and have had quite a few dates. With some girls that would/could be keepers. But my mind still goes back to her!!! It's not fair to them or me. How do we stop that mind wandering crap?????
  3. BringinMahoney
    DAY 5 Speaking with other women does help. However still those times when I'm by myself those thoughts of her come back.
  4. BringinMahoney
    DAY 4 Better, but still those nagging thoughts of all the "good times" and intimacy. Why can't we think of the bad times or the terrible wa7y they broke up with us? Anyone know why that is. I mean c'mon.
  5. BringinMahoney
    Relapse....... DAY 3 again. Why do I give in. Well now I am at least going to set up a profile on a dating site and at least message some girls. Distract my mind. I am going and seeing and doing, but then I get exhausted from going and seeing and doing...that's when it occurs when I am resting from the busy - ness..
  6. BringinMahoney
    That is my question as well.
  7. BringinMahoney
    DAY 6 I too almost sent the ex a text for the 4th. But didnt. It is so hard when it is so convienient with these cell phones...3 months this weekend of the breakup. But only 6 days of no contact. Getting there i hope.
  8. BringinMahoney
    This sux, went out on a date with a wonderful girl last night, but guess what, i wasn`t all in. Now that is just plain wrong. Does the dumper even know this or care. That is the worst of all of this....
  9. BringinMahoney
    True. Just when you think you have arrived at a point when the gut wrenching pain and mind wondering is over or just a light memory, blam you get that same feeling as the day after the breakup.....
  10. BringinMahoney
    DAY 4 I had a dream about her last night woke up 1.5hrs before alarm...sheesh. Weird dream about her in pictures from a long time ago before she got breast enhancements. What was that all about?????? But I don't have the urge to contact her mainly due to the lack of response and I really can't handle what I might get messaged back and NC means NC!!!!!!!
  11. BringinMahoney
    The more I am alone with my self I think it is more addiction to her than anything else. Having someone, but yet I could have someone else and it wouldn't be the same.....at least not right at this exact moment.....
  12. BringinMahoney
    DAY 4 Of breaking NC from 28 days of LC. Semi good night. Still woke up about 30mins earlier than the alarm, but I made it that far. Still though the thoughts creep up on you at the most inopportune time. This morning walking into the door at work, blam, she runs through my head...... I am learning my "breaking no contact lesson". The last time I was at day 14 on NC but day 28 of LC. Then I sent something innocent and she sent something back..."I went out too" but I just said I went by a place we went to with her dad from Christmas time. Nothing about going out or anything, I was actually lost. But that little reply has me thinking what did she so? who was she with? what is a date? Heck for all I know she put slippers on and went down to get gas, but that little comment encapsulates your mind to wonder. Hence the reason NC is so needed and good until I am ready to accept whatever she is doing, and with whomever...
  13. BringinMahoney
    Trying to distract my brain from thoughts of her. It is difficult. You know cell phones are a curse during NC. Used to be you would have to wait until 7-9.00pm on a land line to make a phone call because the rates went down. That would help curb the temptation....I just aged myself there...
  14. BringinMahoney
    DAY 2 Again. Same as last week. Knots and sick feeling gone. Still wake up too early and try to keep my mind occupied with the news or something but still remains the lonely missing part. Not an urge to contact but just the emptiness. Here is a question: Why is it we only remember the good and intimate times after the breakup and not the struggling times. We were together 3.5 yrs and lived together for 2.5 and we did have disagreements as everyone does but why don't we remember those? Is it a brain function?
  15. BringinMahoney
    Day 1 again.... Crap I gave in yesterday, but it was an angry give in, well first text I sent was a I shoulda coulda woulda blah blah blah text, then the angry text as to how the breakup was. I was on day 7. I seem to do better during the week. I have been active lost 22lbs and go see and do but it seems while I am going and seeing and doing my thoughts always go to her. Why? Oof this sux she has this power over me and she doesn't even know it. How do I stay in no contact?
  16. BringinMahoney
    Day 6 The physical knots are gone, but the mind still wonders about her. How do you stop at least wanting her to contact yoi, even if you know you won't return the favor just so you know that they at least think about you? Busy day to day....but at the end of it i will still be here in the apartment alone...but i will get there.
  17. BringinMahoney
    DAY 5 The weekend busy most of the time and still find the time to think of her......Why do our thoughts go back to the dumper...shouldn't we be mad enough to not think about them. Wonder if they think of us?????
  18. BringinMahoney
    First time poster, previous lurker. My girlfriend of 4 yrs, changed the locks, left me with only my clothes, nothing else. Think about that for a minute....no family friends busy with there own lives.... Found I had a facebook page from 6 yrs ago which I never used. Found I did a search for my ex-wife just to see if she was dead or alive, she was and from what I hear still is a raving drug addict. Found out I had done some talking on a dating sight from 2010 when we first met and haven't been active since, and then bammo...out the door I was. Kick out date was April 8th. Kept the receipt I had from the motel room I had to go to for a week.....from then until this past Sunday 6/22 texted her and she returned, only after I texted her every couple of weeks, sporatically. Nothing new, (her) your fault you did this to me, can't trust you again. (Me) I didn't cheat, not my fault, need you, my world etceteraaaa, etceteraaaa.....Last text I tried the casual "hey past by church where we met your dad last Christmas", got back, "I went out too...fun, we will be ok"...then 2nd text, "see you never wanted to go that far to take me to see my Dad, that confirms why I did this to you"......I am 43 she is 49. So day 4 of real NC. Ups and downs...I stay busy, the intense sick stomach feeling is gone but the wondering mind lets loose....Im good until late at night just before I go to bed and there it is. Alone, nothing on the 4,585,000 channels we all pay for and just a little text nothing more...NO...I cannot. Then the morning comes....silence...crickets..me in the shower hurrying to get out the door to hear life........It's the mind that tricks you more than the heart I think......each passing hour is another step closer to the date on my Calendar of NC. Boy this is hard....
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