THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[MMT]

happy music, going out with friends, shopping, watching a comedy movie etc. you have lots of options

 

 

weather........

[MMT]

day 31

 

first day in step 2. : )

 

could not keep doing meditation by the way : (

[kinders]

Day 6 (kinda)

 

He called me yesterday but I missed it, tried calling him back, no reply. Left a text asking him what was up, he didn't reply. Strange one.

 

Usually I would call and call and see what he wanted. But I'm trying not to be so desperate. That wouldn't be nice for either of us.

 

I miss him. So many exciting things are happening at the moment, I wish I could share them with him. I hope he's ok...

[magicangel]

A complete week sighhhh I miss u heard u and ur flavor of the month broke up after what less than two weeks ha couldnt help but laugh my ass off, Noone will ever know ulike i do but I wonder now is she the ex Ull miss rugby efff it not my beeswax

[IAmFCA]

20/9 addendum

 

My wingman reminded me what I already know, because I asked him to. I said "I just know in my gut that he is home merrily going along, happy to be freed of the complication of having me in his life. Is he thinking of me? Is there interest?" Wingman says "When I first on line, I felt like a kid in a candy store." He went on to explain: this is M right now, yes, he was judging himself for it, but WM says I think he is still sampling all the candy. He knows what you offer and he likes having you to think about for something long term. He is not going to do anything with you for now, because he is saving you for later, if/when he wants something more serious." "It could be awhile" he says. "He needs to sow his oays first." Well, I knew that, and I only want it in the context of a potential LTR, and so even if I don't want M ever, I know I don't want him now.

 

WM is uncertain whether I should be playing around a bit myself. I have been an absolute angel. I protested: if I bed my gentleman companion, he may suddenly call for marriage. I swear. It feels so unfair to lead a man into the lion's den. Having spent several years eating men for lunch, I just don't think I can do it anymore.

[t1lersm0m1]

So, yesterday was day 37, but I contacted him, so I only technically made it to day 36.

 

I was in the shower at the gym after my workout when I noticed two small, but noticeable, red dots on my body. I dried off and was putting my bra on when I saw 5 that were even smaller than the 2 noticeable ones. It totally freaked me out. I texted the ex because he is an RN. As I'm in the middle of typing the text, my current bf calls. Seriously, there are 24 hours in a day, what are the chances that as I'm in the middle of typing the ex, the new guy calls? (My new bf usually calls after 8, and I was typing this text around 6:30). It was seriously like magic....(I know it was merely coincidence, but a very odd one at that...like the universe was saying focus on the new guy and let the old guy go).

 

Anyway, the ex asked me a few questions about the dots, I answered, and he said it doesn't sound like anything major (he listed a few things), I thanked him and said I no longer was freaking out and he said NP. End of conversation.

 

I felt a slight twinge, but realize that we are both each other's past. I didn't look for an excuse to text him, I was seriously freaking out when I saw these red dots on my body. I didn't use this as an excuse to ask him how he is or open the door. Once I thanked him, I stopped contacting, and today begins day 1 again.

 

However, based on the fact I didn't feel pain after our text, I'm not sure if I'll keep counting. LOL (But I admit I kinda like coming here to post and read others' posts).

[Shainet]

Day 2 since i last begged. There are times when im totally fine, but there a moments, like now, that im having a hard time. Its hard to breathe, i feel like this is just a dream.

[t1lersm0m1]

You need to remain in no contact until you are healed. And then, once you are healed, you probably won't want to contact them anymore.

[Shainet]

Last time i chatted with him, after begging and getting rejected and telling my goodbyes i love you im letting go, i realized how pathetic that was and i insulted him slightly. I told him i want to see him when he comes back home(working abroad) so i will realize why i really dontlike him anyway. It's like an insult to his looks. He's not good looking. I wanted to meet up so that i can return his ipad and beats, but he wants me to just send it to him. He will come home 1st week of december. Should i contact him now and tell him yes i will send it to him once he's home and also apologize for what i said. Or wait til december, when he contacts me.

[t1lersm0m1]

Don't apologize. It's just a reason to stay in contact. Go no contact. Send him his stuff when he returns, but do not contact him.

 

You can write a very short note when you mail him his stuff apologizing. I did that with my ex. I said "Sorry for saying you never gave me anything. You and I both know that's not true. Take care." (I asked him for shirts back that I bought him, and said "You never gave me anything." I later mailed them back to him with a short letter.

[Shainet]

Thank you so much. Will definitely do that.

[MMT]

I aslo say dont contact him now...Just NC and focusing on yourself...: )

 

Thank you so much. Will definitely do that.

[MMT]

Day 32

 

I am so slow in doing changes I need in my life...should ACT FASTER

 

Miss him

[IAmFCA]

21/10

 

I thought today while in the grocery store parking lot-- this is the perfect time to call and say hello, and i also thought: I am not used to having a man walk because I am not an easy lay and I also thought: if I invite you back in before you show yourself, then am I also taking responsibility for potentially inviting danger into your life? I don't know, so for so many reasons, sticking to NC. And you said Not forever, and WM said, just needs to sow his oats for awhile, kid in a candy store, and I think, well so what, go do that. I don't much care. But you know, say hello.

 

And all this noise happens while I am trying to park. Sheesh.

 

It is so good for me to break this habit of calling whilst in between places.

[js0905]

Day 32

 

I am so slow in doing changes I need in my life...should ACT FASTER

 

Miss him

 

I read what you wrote to me yesterday...

 

Thank you for that =)

 

I met this guy for coffee tonight after we had been emailing for a bit. I like him he is nice, cute and seems to like me.

Still I also miss my ex and wish I could see him again. Nobody can take his place and I don't know why.

 

However I'm going to try it with this new guy and just go through the motions. I hope after a while my ex will be out of my head.

 

So often I just want to contact him but then I remind myself that its never gotten me anywhere before.

He'd probably reply and say he misses me but in the end he wouldn't be able to see me for one reason or another.

 

I truly believe that if he wanted or could see me then I would hear from him anyway.

He knows how I feel about him and the hoops I have jumped through to see him in the past...I miss him a lot too.

 

Anyway you are doing good, hang in there.

 

XXOO

[t1lersm0m1]

Here's something I told myself: It took me a while to get to know my ex. It's going to take a while to unknow him (you know what I mean) . Stick to NC, and slowly but surely you'll heal. And you WILL find what you deserve with another man. Your ex is not the only man out there for you!

[Shainet]

Today is not a good day. Been fighting with my mom. She is forcing me to eat. Yes, i was not eating for the past few days but i am actually eating right now. I guess iam just taking out my frustration on her. She knows somethings up. Im sure she knows ive broken up with the ex thats why im always holed up in my room and lashing at her. I feel sorry for her. I was very rude shouting at her when she only wants me to eat. T-T

 

And i think this is all my ex's fault. Lol. Yes. I will just blame him.

[IAmFCA]

22/11

 

What is the balance between giving these passing thoughts a voice and just moving on? Is it all just a diversion? From?

 

And yeah, when WM woke me last night after I had been under for two hours, and said he is there for me if I need him, my immediate, honest and unfiltered thought was Could you send something: "Hey, the most fabulous woman on the planet wants you, and I can't talk her out of it. Would you come get her please?" Walking to work this morning, I thought, Wow! Layers of behavior that allow you to keep multiples. Mind you, you minded my boundaries. But you were lying to her, weren't you? Didn't want her to know that you were working out with me/us then having lunch etc? And you dumped her eventually anyway. So she wasn't all that to you, nor the one before. None of them, actually.

 

Does anyone live a transparent life anymore???

[MMT]

link removed

 

SooSad33 posted this link in another thread. It's worth to read for everyone.

[MMT]

day 33

 

I miss him. Whenever I feel bad about my situation in life, I start to miss him and want him back. It sounds like he gives my life validation....

 

I feel I have nothing special, I am not special and I do nothing special.

[t1lersm0m1]

Maybe I broke contact so I can keep posting in this thread longer!

 

Anyway,stick to NC until you stop hurting.

[js0905]

Maybe I broke contact so I can keep posting in this thread longer!

 

 

LOL!!

 

 

Day 15

[Shainet]

Day 3 or 4

I woke up and immediately thought of him. Realized he really is not missing me. He doesnt care for me at all. The person who was once super inlove with me and adored me is gone. How can you go from loving a person to not loving her in just a week. Ena is my lifeline right now. Everytime i feel hopeless, i read this challenge. From pqge to pqge. Good thing there's a lot of pages.

[js0905]

What I miss the most is that when things were good he was so responsive and loving.

If I'd send a cute picture he would always make a comment about how beautiful I was or how much he loved my face....

He'd say different nice & amazing things every time that made me happy....

 

He was like that from day 1 with me =)

 

Since we have been on and off, when we are not together I keep on trying to find someone else like this.

Nobody else does this, they seem to always be waiting for me to do it first.

 

It's a big let down to me because this is what I want.

 

Have met a lot of guys while we were not together, I don't have a problem meeting guys but they are just clueless it seems.

 

Might need/have to contact him soon because I totally miss him

 

Crap!!

[IAmFCA]

23/12

 

Hmm. How to capture your very positive influence without falling prey to your chaos?

 

Why is it so tempting to break contact, when I don't even want to sleep with you?

 

to Me: well, you ARE fabulous, so there will be what you desire, when the time is right.