THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[IAmFCA]

Just like it was last year, when I really did have a break up... lack of sleep makes it so much harder.

 

Am glad I sent the email, did not expect desire request or maybe even want a response.

 

But I still miss the connection. I just do.

 

OK, its okay to miss him.

[mutcer23]

Day 27!... even tho he pops up in my head several times throughout the day and I still miss him and yes I still cry at times..but I sure as heck am proud that I am no longer begging,pleading, and crying my eyes out for him. I can finally sleep at night and I can enjoy food now which is a great accomplishment considering the first two days I slept for a total of 4 hours and I still remember counting 4 strawberries those whole two days and even then I was forcing myself to eat them. I still remember the first week being quite excruciating..now that uncomfortable empty feeling in my stomach has lessened dramatically as well as pain that used to radiate through my chest.

its interesting knowing so many of us are all going through the same pain and in a very special way its nice to know that literally we are not alone in this.

[IAmFCA]

Day 12

 

You have a birthday this coming weekend. I don't know how it ended up on my calendar.

 

Well, whatevs.

[jenbrooks]

Day 25!

 

He broke contact, not me

 

He texted, he called, and then texted again saying that he missed me and wanted to take me out for a movie. I said No and told him that I needed to work on myself, and focus on myself, and I hoped that he's doing the same.

 

I felt great after saying No because I finally have a little bit of control back for myself. Sometimes I still have urges to wanting to contact him, tell him how much I miss him, and how much I love him, but then what for? Things were rocky, he wasn't sure about me anymore, he wasn't sure if we are compatible anymore, what's the point? He was sure four months ago, and now changed? Let's say that he does end up marrying me, will he be unsure again? This dude doesn't seem like he is sure of anything lol.

 

I'm sick and tired of hearing his maybe's, more reasons for me to not see him, what for? To hear more disappointments?

 

I asked for a 30 day break, we finalized that we won't be dating anyone, and then we'll come back and see what happens. Should I set up a date to see him? I'm scared and nervous...to even contact him. I'm scared that this will just end up nothing.

 

What do you guys think?

[MMT]

I can understand this as hellll....

When I was leaving, I said: "You dont now what you want."

 

I think it's great that you said no. You asked for 30 days and keep it till day 30. I think these dudes need to know that they dont have always time to change their minds. They need to know that if they delay, we leave. They need to now how strong we are and we are not always there for them to say yes some day and no another day.

 

 

 

Day 25!

 

Sometimes I still have urges to wanting to contact him, tell him how much I miss him, and how much I love him, but then what for? Things were rocky, he wasn't sure about me anymore, he wasn't sure if we are compatible anymore, what's the point? He was sure four months ago, and now changed?

 

[MMT]

Day 23

Day 2

[t1lersm0m1]

MMT, did you break contact????

[t1lersm0m1]

Do you think anything you posted is going to change in the next five days? At day 25 you are saying he was full of maybe's and disappointed you. Do you think that'll change after 30 days?

[jenbrooks]

ah, he wasn't sure before we started the break. Our communication sucks, I did ask him over the phone when he broke contact, I asked him if anything has changed for him, he said "maybe" lol

 

I care and love him so much, but I know that there is nothing that I can do to change what he wants, so I'm going to have to be direct with him after I finish healing up, and then be ready to take the rejection that "Jen, I love you but I don't think we are compatible"

 

I don't know if that's going to come, but if it does, my heart has to be ready for it. In a way, I'm kind of treating this as a breakup already, nothing's going to change over a period of one month. It just can't...Some problems are better to be left alone.

[MisSunny]

I miss him. I wish I hadn't taken him for granted like I did.... If I had known this was coming I would have spent a lot more time just being with him. I want to reach out so badly... I feel like the only thing really keeping me from it is the knowledge that he wouldn't reply anyway.

[js0905]

Day 23

Day 2

 

What happened? Why is it day 23 & day 2??

 

Either way you know my story I have been at day 28 then at day 20 and now I'm on day 5.

 

Wishing I hadn't sent that email because I said one thing "Do not email me, text me or contact me anymore" but then 20 days later I wished him a "Happy Halloween" & told him I'd always want him and forever be his. So he replied that he missed me with a sad face then also wished me a Happy Halloween and sent a kiss.

 

That was on Halloween day and nothing since...

Before that he had started to communicate more often because I had requested it so now he is not again.

The thing is that now I blame myself because I said one thing when I broke it off and then I contacted him again???

 

I thought I was giving him an opening, a way back in, could he just be very confused??

Don't know why I can't just let him go, cried a lot last night and woke up with puffy eyes =(

 

If he wanted to contact me it wouldn't matter what I said right? He would just do it, he knows that I like that.

 

Crap....

[meika]

Day 15 of NC. No text or calls from him. Missing him terribly. He dumped me and he wants nothing to do with me because he cannot longer trust me. He has some serious issues with pride so I am not expecting a text or call from him. Just want to heal and move on but its really hard.

[IAmFCA]

13

 

You have judged me ill, Sir.

 

I am still coming to the need to live in the land of never with you, but I am coming to that place. I will get there. And when I arrive, I will reject your view of me, I will reject that you have judged me, and I will reject you for seeing me through the one lens.

 

It will be a long time before this cloud passes. By the time it does, I will be done with my imagination of you.

[MMT]

I did not break!

I'm gonna do a kind of meditation (learned it some years ago) for 40 days. I planned it as a part of my healing process. Actually, I always wanted to do this meditation for 40 days, but never could.

This is the right time. I thought to write it here cause it helps me to keep it. : ) ...It has been really great in these 3 days.

 

Dedicated to all in this thread, I specially like the video. : )

tnx for your care.

 

 

 

 

Day 22 in NC

and Day 1 in another thing I'm going through (for 40 days)

 

 

MMT, did you break contact????

 

What happened? Why is it day 23 & day 2??

 

Either way you know my story I have been at day 28 then at day 20 and now I'm on day 5.

 

Wishing I hadn't sent that email because I said one thing "Do not email me, text me or contact me anymore" but then 20 days later I wished him a "Happy Halloween" & told him I'd always want him and forever be his. So he replied that he missed me with a sad face then also wished me a Happy Halloween and sent a kiss.

 

That was on Halloween day and nothing since...

Before that he had started to communicate more often because I had requested it so now he is not again.

The thing is that now I blame myself because I said one thing when I broke it off and then I contacted him again???

 

I thought I was giving him an opening, a way back in, could he just be very confused??

Don't know why I can't just let him go, cried a lot last night and woke up with puffy eyes =(

 

If he wanted to contact me it wouldn't matter what I said right? He would just do it, he knows that I like that.

 

Crap....

[t1lersm0m1]

Sorry MMT, I missed where you said Day 1 was something new you wanted to try. Thanks for the link!

 

Wow, how does it happen that he broke up with me September 6, my last contact to him was October 7, and I'm at Day 30 NC on November 6 (which also happens to be the two year anniversary of my father losing his battle with kidney cancer )?

 

Anyway, 30 days NC and I feel great. Except the fact I dreamed last night we were back together and we were both happy. But I can't control my dreams (side note, when we first broke up, I dreamed of him almost nightly!). I barely think of him during the day. I'm still in the early stages of seeing and getting to know someone new. So far he is a much better fit than the ex. Seems to be confident, no kids (aka baggage), no recent exes (last LTR was 2+ years), wants kids (GO ME!), and he works days M-F (ex worked as an ER nurse third shift and every other weekend). We are taking things SLOW! Only seeing each other once a week, and talking nightly, but no SERIOUS talks so far.

 

I so totally believe my ex did me a favor in dumping me, as I truly wasn't happy. I knew in my heart he still loved his wife. And it killed me. But I kept telling myself what a great guy he was (he has no confidence and he let his kids walk all over him, which made me SOOO angry). As much as I thought I was happy, I really wasn't. Also, his self-confidene caused SOOO MANY arguments between us.

 

So I've successfuly completed the 30 day challenge. I haven't had the desire to write to him in the "Post Here Instead of Contacting your Ex" thread. I had read the 8 week challenge at one point and used to hope I'd hear from him 8 weeks after I stopped contacting him, but at this point I have no desire to contact him or hear from him.

 

 

 

E=MMT;5866457]I did not break!

I'm gonna do a kind of meditation (learned it some years ago) for 40 days. I planned it as a part of my healing process. Actually, I always wanted to do this meditation for 40 days, but never could.

This is the right time. I thought to write it here cause it helps me to keep it. : ) ...It has been really great in these 3 days.

 

Dedicated to all in this thread, I specially like the video. : )

tnx for your care.

 

]

[MMT]

day 24

day 3

[MMT]

Congrats

 

30 days NC and I feel great.

 

[jenbrooks]

Doesn't matter which day anymore...Ok five days left and I will reach our 30 day break, but what's the point, I don't think it's going to change. He's not as committed to me as he used to be. I don't want to be with someone that's wishy washy and not sure about me when he used to be so sure about me before.

[kinders]

Finally hit me. 2months after our break up. I can't be friends anymore. The story:

 

 

 

Day 1 it is...

[mutcer23]

" Except the fact I dreamed last night we were back together and we were both happy."

 

Haha same here..that has happened to me now these past two days..its rather annoying..like get out of my dreams man lol

[t1lersm0m1]

That's what I thought! In the beginning I could see it cause I thought of him so much during the day. But now I barely think of him, so the dream came out of nowhere.

 

" Except the fact I dreamed last night we were back together and we were both happy."

 

Haha same here..that has happened to me now these past two days..its rather annoying..like get out of my dreams man lol

[js0905]

Felt better today and I guess it's about time....LOL!!

However don't think I'd have the strength yet to say "no" to him if he contacted me.............

[MisSunny]

Today, and every day is about me. Me, me, me. I feel a bit upbeat right now; just realized a pair of jeans I bought earlier in the year are getting baggier and baggier... Diet and exercise, woo hoo! I'm starting to make plans for trips I might like to go on when summer comes around again, and thinking of a few more hobbies I might try and embrace. Yaaay.

[js0905]

Panic is on my mind because I'm starting to feel detachment/numbness towards him.

It's better than missing him & been sad but at the same time scary. Probably because I thought we'd end up working it out & been together again.

Now he just seems so far away almost like a dream...

There were some really good times and my relationship to him changed me, he touched my life & made a difference for the better.

However because of different reasons due to his job and mine we hadn't even seen each other in months.

In addition to been on day 7 of NC at least 3 x's before....

[Liraele]

I came on here more to tell you that you can do it, than anything else. NC was something I really, really struggled with, and as you can see by that lovely # up there... I eventually managed.

 

When you are really, truly ready you can do it. Don't beat yourself up too much in the meantime.

 

Keep at it!