jenbrooks

Doesn't matter which day anymore...Ok five days left and I will reach our 30 day break, but what's the point, I don't think it's going to change. He's not as committed to me as he used to be. I don't want to be with someone that's wishy washy and not sure about me when he used to be so sure about me before.

ah, he wasn't sure before we started the break. Our communication sucks, I did ask him over the phone when he broke contact, I asked him if anything has changed for him, he said "maybe" lol I care and love him so much, but I know that there is nothing that I can do to change what he wants, so I'm going to have to be direct with him after I finish healing up, and then be ready to take the rejection that "Jen, I love you but I don't think we are compatible" I don't know if that's going to come, but if it does, my heart has to be ready for it. In a way, I'm kind of treating this as a breakup already, nothing's going to change over a period of one month. It just can't...Some problems are better to be left alone.

Day 25! He broke contact, not me He texted, he called, and then texted again saying that he missed me and wanted to take me out for a movie. I said No and told him that I needed to work on myself, and focus on myself, and I hoped that he's doing the same. I felt great after saying No because I finally have a little bit of control back for myself. Sometimes I still have urges to wanting to contact him, tell him how much I miss him, and how much I love him, but then what for? Things were rocky, he wasn't sure about me anymore, he wasn't sure if we are compatible anymore, what's the point? He was sure four months ago, and now changed? Let's say that he does end up marrying me, will he be unsure again? This dude doesn't seem like he is sure of anything lol. I'm sick and tired of hearing his maybe's, more reasons for me to not see him, what for? To hear more disappointments? I asked for a 30 day break, we finalized that we won't be dating anyone, and then we'll come back and see what happens. Should I set up a date to see him? I'm scared and nervous...to even contact him. I'm scared that this will just end up nothing. What do you guys think?

Day 16. We didn't break up, but worse, we are in limbo, on a 30 day break. I wonder if anyone on here has a similar situation? Today I didn't do much other than staying home and cry. The trip with friends were good, but other than that, most of the time, I still thought about him. I want to forget him so bad during this 30 day break, he's not as loving and caring towards me like he used to be, this is why I asked for the break. I hope that after the break, things will turn out for the best. I keep on trying to predict the future, it's not good for me. I've been in waiting mode instead of moving on mode, and it's really difficult for me. Everyone thinks I should start moving on, pretend as if this is a real breakup. I do everything possible to forget such as exercising, go to the steam room to reduce the stress, read more and more articles about relationship breakups or breaks. Some days are good, some days are really lonely, and some days I break down and cry. I still have the same question lingering around my head, should I contact him after 30 days? Should I do something about this? Or should I wait for him? What happens if we are both waiting on each other? I have so many what ifs

Hello everyone, this is my first post. Today marks my 12 days of NC. Even though we have not broken up yet, but things have been really rough, and I had to ask for the 30 day break to stop myself from going crazy. I tried very hard to save the relationship but I realized that during this period, I became needy, crazy, and desperate. I finally saw myself as not stable, emotionally hurt by what has happened, which caused me to be in a very insecure situation. I requested for the 30 day break from the relationship. It has to be done for my own personal health. I initiated the 30 day break because keeping in touch has become pain. He's been neglecting me, doing minimal work to maintain our relationship, I've been completely opposite, not neglecting him back, but push harder for us to work together, you name it, counseling, scheduling dates, being there for him, eventually one day he told me that he's taking me for granted and that he's not as interested in me as he used to be. When I heard this, I wanted to break up, but he didn't want to, so we settled with middle ground and that is the 30 day break. I don't know how many couples go through a 30 day break and come back together with success, regardless of the statistics, my only hope is whatever the outcome is, I hope it is for the best. 12 days without any contact, it's been very tough. Everywhere I go, I see us, the memory of us doing everything together, how could he not want to bring that back, how could he ask me to move out, and now we are apart. Doesn't he enjoy coming home to a fresh home made dinner? Oh gosh, today I'm staying at my friend's house, those laughter coming from the living room of a couple that live here. This reminds me of us again. But think clearly Jen! Think using your head and not your heart. What are the benefits if he contacts you while you are like this? You have to learn to live without him, he already said he's taking you for granted, he already said he's not as interested in you as he used to be. He's not happy around you as much. He's not that in love with you anymore. What can you do? Nothing! You cannot run to his house and ask for confirmation that he's going to come back, you cannot call him, you cannot text, define the results, what are they if you do the following? Ok, if I do the following then these happen: * We end up talking, he may not want to see you again, leave you in limbo * We end up talking, he may ask you for a date, and then call you whenever he needs to * We end up talking, you give him the ultimatum, either he takes you back in the house or we break up * We end up talking, make up sex, and then back to the painful routine of waiting for him to call again * We end up talking, he is willing to take you back in the house, but he won't be happy because this is not what he wants Basically, initiating contact is opening up the wound, not just a little bit, but quite larger. Damaging it some more, eventually, will lead to more depression for me. Come on Jen! What's there to wonder anymore, he's become different, he's pulled away, he doesn't trust you anymore. He asked you to move out, he's been operating on his own, neglecting you, you are no longer his number one. Yes, as harsh it sounds, like a knife stabbing in your heart, his love has changed for you, the question is, can you live like this? Of course not...