js0905

There is a reason why you went NC and it's something you really need to think about. Today is actually day 107 for me, I make it a point to keep track of the days. Don't miss him that much anymore but it has been tough for me. Others have come and gone but for some reason this one guy really did a number on me.... I know if he was to contact me now I would also feel the way you do. His B-Day was last Friday 05/02 and I really contemplated wishing him a Happy Birthday but that would just have set me back. He texted last on 02/12 (89 days ago) but never texted again. Not for Valentine's, Easter or Mother's Day so whatever, he is obviously over me. Now you gave me some good advise once and I appreciate it. So hang in there and be strong. You have almost totally moved on. Things very rarely get better when you get back with an Ex. They usually get worst and in addition you are not really sure what it is that he wants anyway. Best of luck to you and let me know what you decide.

I empathize with you and wish you the best of luck.... Never had the strength to do that but that but I know it would be helpful if I could ever do it. That is actually the definition of insanity - Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results. Keep us up to date on how it goes for you =)

Thank you Monkey ai =) So today is his B-day but I have been strong and haven't said a thing.... He doesn't deserve it anyway he never reached out for Valentine's or Easter. His thing was to reach out during Holidays when he wanted back in. He obviously doesn't want back in and I shouldn't want him back either. Today is Day 97 and TGIF!!!

Day 95 His B-Day is Friday and I thought about texting him Happy Birthday!! or something like that. I'm not going to because it's just going to set me back. He is the one that has not reached out to me with an apology. He hasn't reached out to me for 77 days exactly. OMG!! I thought the counting would have stopped by now. It supposedly takes half of the amount you dated the person to get over them. We were together for a year hopefully it wont take another 90 days =( He treated me like crap a lot of the time, started ignoring me texting went from every day to weekly towards the end. My fault for allowing him to do what ever he wanted and then letting him back into my life. I let him disrespect me and pretended it was ok, made him into a God. Thought he'd love me for that but instead he pulled away realizing he had me. I led him to believe that it didn't matter what he did, I'd take him back. Thinking back everything was just so good with him at the beginning that I hung on to that until the end. Kept on thinking it could/would go back to that but it never did. If anything every time I took him back he became more of a piece of Narcissist pig.....Ugh He did such an amazing job of hooking me that despite everything I still want him and miss him. However I wont ever reach out to him because I know that I deserve so much better. On the bright side met this nice Firefighter today for coffee and we'll see where that leads....

Day 90..... I feel better most of the time but honestly it seems like I'll always miss him..... The sad true is that since he threw those bread crumbs at me 72 days ago he never tried again. Meanwhile I still think of him on and off, thought for sure he'd try to reach out for Easter. He didn't and I was actually sad, not sure why I would still be thinking of him on and off. I date, see/talk to other people, have a FT job and entertain myself with friends and family but still he is always in the back of my mind. Really was hoping that would have been over a long time ago. He sees other girls now and he is on a dating website a lot. Probably/Certainly doesn't think about me at all but that is just life I suppose....

I'm at day 83 since I contacted him and he is at day 65 since he contacted me but I didn't respond. What did your ex say? What did you say back? Was it worth it? I only ask because I go through periods where I still miss him so much. Then I wish he'd just contacted me one more time so I could reply....ugh Can you let me know. Thank you =)

*Day 60* I keep on coming back here after all of this time to see if I can say something helpful. These board has helped me immensely but it's time for me to go....LOL!! Still will check on here on and off to see what is going on and if there are ever any developments. Last time he threw a "bread crumb" my way was 42 days ago. Pretty sure that he is done now. Anyway I read this article about how guys seem to get over girls a lot faster and in a different way. It doesn't mean they didn't love you or didn't care. I'm going to paste the article below because it made me feel better and maybe it will do the same for you. The website it came from is "A New Mode" and the girl that wrote it is called Sabrina - "I feel like lately I'm surrounded by breakups. Not me, but it seems that everyone around me is in the midst of the world's worst kind of pain, the pain that places a firm grip on your heart and is merciless and unrelenting. We've all been there. The one issue that seems to keep coming up is the fact that the guys seem to have a much easier time of it. For instance, one of my friends just ran into her ex who she broke up with about two months ago. She said he was nice enough and pleasant, but he just seemed so fine and nonchalant. Another friend went to her ex's place for the always excruciating exchanging of the stuff left behind and was also frustrated and hurt by how not-hurt he seemed to be. An another friend, who recently ended her engagement, can't understand how the guy just seems so fine and so certain that they did the right thing, with no longing and no regrets. After breaking things off they have had numerous conversations and while she's still so broken and hurt, he seemed so solid and sure. One after the next they all come to me and ask: "How is it possible that he's so OK? Is he a sociopath or something?" I empathize enormously with all of them. I remember that feeling. When the love of my life broke up with me it was the most brutal, emotionally-taxing day I had ever experienced. We cried and talked about how much we loved and appreciated each other, and how sad we were that it just wasn't working. Even though I was devastated, there was a comfort in knowing he was devastated too. I saw him a week later (he promised to come over and install a printer for me) and while I was expecting another sad, yet sweet, cry-fest with emotional declarations of how much we really loved each other, he was all business. He just seemed so fine, so okay with everything. I, on the other hand, had lost five pounds because I was too nauseous to eat and couldn't stop crying long enough to even swallow a bite of anything. But not him, he was just....fine. I think that day was even worse than the breakup. I felt like what we had meant nothing, I mean, how much could I have really meant to him if he could be so okay after only a week! I tried to hash things out again, to talk about what went wrong and why this break up really was the right thing. He didn't take to it, though, and instead coldly said, "There really is no point in going over all this again." It was like a sucker punch right to the gut. There was a point to me! I needed to hear it again, to see his pain to know he really cared and that this was hard for him too! Granted, I don't see how that would have helped me move on in any way, but it would have been nice to know I wasn't alone in this world of pain. So what gives? Are guys these cold, callous, unfeeling monsters? In a word, no. Men and women process and experience relationships very differently. This goes for the actual relationship as well as the end of it. Generally speaking, women are more emotional and men are more practical. In this sense men have it easier because logic and reason make a lot more sense than emotions do most of the time. Women typically need to feel their way through a process. If they feel longing for a guy, it doesn't matter that they logically know he's not right for them, they will find evidence to support what they're feeling and will have a harder time letting go, believing that he really is the guy for them. Men do experience profound pain and sadness after a breakup--trust me, I hear it from my guy friends just as much as I hear it from my girl friends--however, men typically take a much more logical approach. If they see a solid reason why a relationship will never work, then that's it, they're done. It doesn't mean they don't love the girl or care for her, they just know it would never work and there's no point in obsessing over it. It doesn't mean men never act on their emotions. The ex I told you about who was all cold and distant the day he set up my printer called me a month later begging to see me. This is why a lot of the time an ex will come back into the picture. Sometimes emotions will be running so high that you'll both abandon your better judgment and get back together, other times he'll snap back into logical shape and will apologize for his moment of weakness and promise not to do it again. Another important difference between men and women is the way they deal with stress and emotional issues. Women typically like to talk about it and hash things out. They don't necessarily need a solution, the talking itself is therapeutic. When men are feeling off balance, they will typically withdraw into their metaphorical "man cave." They will put a guard up and retreat into their inner world to work through what they need to. This is why men don't need to go over the details of a breakup ad nauseam. If you run into an ex and he seems a bit cold and distant, it's not because he doesn't care and never did, it's because he does care but he knows there is no use in acting on those feelings anymore so he guards himself and puts on a seemingly cold facade. Another instance of men acting on logic and women on emotion is the fact that women like getting assurance from a guy to know how he feels. That's why a woman likes to hear a guy say he loves her. I mean, imagine if a guy said 'I love you, and if that ever changes I'll let you know. But going forward just operate under the belief that I do love you." No woman would ever be satisfied with that! Women need to hear it because when they hear the words they experience the emotions of being loved. It's not about knowing he loves her just to know, it's about hearing it so she can feel it. This is true in a relationship and the same thing can happen when a relationship ends. You may logically know he loved you, but the moment you don't feel it anymore you start to question it and need the assurance. And when a guy is being cold and distant and not giving it to you, your irrationally assume it's because he never cared. For all those going through a breakup, my heart goes out to you. It is the hardest thing in the world to go through, but there is a light at the end and you will emerge even better and stronger. And no matter how he acts, remember that he did care, his feelings were real, and move forward knowing that you had something special that gave you what you needed at the time and are now free to find something better that will give you more for the future."

Day 55 and going to try dating again. We'll see how it goes, have tried it on and off but I just felt numb. Want to feel some type of interest again in someone. It doesn't matter how good looking and/or sweet they were... I always ended up wishing it was him instead.

You are so totally correct on that one.... It's Day 53 for me and the more time passes the more I realize how blinded I was. He just used me and fed me the same crap he feeds all the other girls that apparently have always been there. Truly believe he is a "Narcissist" and needs a harem to make himself feel better. Always thought I was special to him but now I realize everything was a huge sham. Now I don't feel sad for because I miss him but I feel sad because I truly believed his lies.

Congrats!! Things do get better as you said. Keep up the good work =)

Wow!! Day 50 and well honestly now it is much easier for me. Still think of him at least once a day and even tear up a bit at times. The more that time passes, the more I realize how "Not good for me he was". So I think I get sad now not so much because he is gone but because my romantic fantasy of him and what we had is "shattered". The things he said and how he said them (which made me feel so good at the time) when we first got together were just words. He knew how to use them and once he knew he had me then he slowly faded away. Which means in reality none of it was true or real. It's hard for me to finally accept this...

*Day 48* Hopefully I will be able to forget him by day 60. He was on my mind a lot today, remembered how he is not even that good looking. However even though I'm dating better looking guys they are just not him. I'm not feeling it for anybody else, maybe it's time to take a real break and do what ever I'd need to do for myself.

Just an update because it makes me feel better to be able to keep track of things. Today is day 47 and truthfully I'm starting to let him go, every so often he comes to mind but not nearly as often. I look at his pictures less and less. Also realize more and more how little he seemed to care for me after the first 3 - 4 months..... He really was not a good person and unfortunately stole my heart. Because of this I allowed him to be disrespectful and take advantage of me. I let it go on for to long and he started thinking that was ok. Now it's truly over and the last time he tried to contact me was 4 weeks ago yesterday. Since I didn't reply to the breadcrumbs he threw at me, he didn't try anymore.....

Yes, stay strong, he contacted me on day18 and I never replied now I'm at day 44. Feeling actually much, much better =)

Day 42 since I went NC and the last time he even tried to contact me was 24 days ago. Why am I still thinking that I made such a huge impact in his life? That is what still gives me hope that he'll comeback and apologize.... The truth is that I was probably just a pastime and nothing else =( Why can't I see him that way? Why can't I let go?