THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[IAmFCA]

9

 

1. R's parents live in Ireland

2. Today, out of the blue: Mom, you're pretty (offered to counter an jesting insult). You got M to like you, and he's so hot, his father must be cooking.

 

huh? 1- did A just tell me a cheesy pick up line? did it make any sense? did she just call a peer of mine "smoking"? ok, this made me laugh on so many levels.

 

3. I did diamonds in the park today.

 

I am learning to get with the idea that you are gone for good.

 

I can't have you now anyway. Too messy. I'm glad you are gone.

 

My instincts keep trying on ways to get your attention. a light note sent by small mail, something. and then those same instincts throw it out. to trust me you will need peace from me.

 

hate this.

 

4. stopped at a couple of yellows today AND let someone go first at a four way stop

[MMT]

these are the same for me!!!

 

The truth is that I have felt similar feelings before for someone else and gone through kind of the same situations??

 

If anything the relationships keep getting better and more meaningful so I shouldn't doubt something better is out there.

 

I guess I'm just very picky and well there is something about him that is different and special which I can't describe.

 

because of a lot of issues in my life while I was growing up don't have the self confidence and love for myself I should have.

 

My birthday is this month.

 

 

[MMT]

Day 20

 

ups and downs. I really wanted to write him today.

I am trying to find some friends and this is good. New city and new uni are giving me more motivation. In recent 1.5 years I had no motivation and he was only thing I had. The sad fact before him, my last ex was my motivation to live. I forgot myself 5-6 years.

I am looking at myself as a person who really needs special care. I am trying to heal all of my wounds. Some are from my childhood.

[firefly2613]

Well, this is my first time posting in this thread.

 

I am officially on Day 18 of No Contact. Still going through ups and downs, but have not had any urge to contact her since she started dating a new guy a month after we broke up. (Quick summary: she had only known him for two months). But none of that matters.

 

What does matter is me. At about the 10 day mark, I found out for sure that she was officially dating this guy, and I was THIS CLOSE to sending her an angry email but I stopped myself midway and deleted it and took time to calm down. I reminded myself that she is annoying at the best of times and that poor guy just doesn't know what he's getting into.

 

Since then I have had no urge to contact her.

 

My hardest times are in the mornings. I used to wake up to a good morning text every morning, so now I have to re-accept everything when I first wake up. Sometimes it takes hours.

 

I'm trying to focus on improving myself. I do know that I will see her again, because she is the one that really and truly initiated the no contact but very clearly left the door open, probably so she could come back and throw breadcrumbs.

[MisSunny]

Ups and downs. Kind of sucks. I really hate moodswings, and I'm really craving physical affection right now. blah.

[IAmFCA]

4. stopped at a couple of yellows today AND let someone go first at a Americanfour way stop

 

5. we 3 went to Perry's. Girls loved it. you would have enjoyed my friend Ben, who likes American history.

6. I want you to come to the gallery for the Byzantine exhibit.

 

this is a real pain in the neck

[headoversneaks]

Day 6.

 

Well not really. We stopped talking a month ago but there would be times we'd talk briefly. Like brief texts.

6th day straight without actually making contact.

I was making good progress; the hardest part was the first two weeks and now I'm feeling a bit more sane. Today though, I was cleaning my room and I already anticipated seeing the random stuff she gave me during our relationship, and I broke down crying. It went on like that for an hour, but it felt good after.

[brokendoll]

Awwww you sound exactly like me lol. We gotta stop doing this. And our situation sounds similar where they actually reply back. And that gives us hope. Also I sent him an "I will always love you" song by WhitNey Houston. So we r in a similar boat, think we have similar personalities. But I think we should go on a long NC now. Whatever it is Atleast make them think. I almost wished him this morning because he messaged me "hey" yesterday. And i have ok idea that means lol. I was almost getting over.

Now on day 3. Ahh

The thing is when we try to message them we are thinking of the good things and ignoring everything we were unhappy about. If I think of those things I don't think I'd want to be with him forever anyways.

[brokendoll]

Awwww you sound exactly like me lol. We gotta stop doing this. And our situation sounds similar where they actually reply back. And that gives us hope. Also I sent him an "I will always love you" song by WhitNey Houston. So we r in a similar boat, think we have similar personalities. But I think we should go on a long NC now. Whatever it is Atleast make them think. I almost wished him this morning because he messaged me "hey" yesterday. And i have ok idea that means lol. I was almost getting over.

Now on day 3. Ahh

The thing is when we try to message them we are thinking of the good things and ignoring everything we were unhappy about. If I think of those things I don't think I'd want to be with him forever anyways.

[t1lersm0m1]

I know how you feel. It feels like a death, almost worse than a death because the person is CHOOSING not to be with you (well in your case you broke it off because you weren't happy but you know what I mean).

 

But you have to tell yourself, for now anyway, he wasn't making you happy. Do you want to settle for someone who doesn't make you happy?

 

I know, your head is probably telling you that, but your heart is telling you a different story. It'll take a while, but eventually if you keep at NC, your head will start to win out over your heart. The pain will be gone.

 

It took me 4-5 months last year, but my self-confidence is amazing. It CAN be done! 4-5 months sounds like a long time, and it takes work, it doesn't happen overnight, but then you have the rest of your life to reap the rewards.

 

I'm 5'3", 240#, I was raised by an alcoholic mother, and I have sexual abuse in my past. While my past isn't the worst out there, it was pretty bad. If I can find my confidence, it can really be done by anyone willing to do the work.

 

I realized last year I never graduated from victim to survivor. I was always waiting and expecting bad things to happen. I truly didn't believe I deserved a good man, love and happiness. Now that I know I deserve that, I was able to get over this break up much easier!

[LaRock]

Day Six PleaseContactMeSoon

[js0905]

these are the same for me!!!

 

 

 

Happy Birthday month to us =)

[js0905]

Awwww you sound exactly like me lol. We gotta stop doing this. And our situation sounds similar where they actually reply back. And that gives us hope. Also I sent him an "I will always love you" song by WhitNey Houston. So we r in a similar boat, think we have similar personalities. But I think we should go on a long NC now. Whatever it is Atleast make them think. I almost wished him this morning because he messaged me "hey" yesterday. And i have ok idea that means lol. I was almost getting over.

Now on day 3. Ahh

The thing is when we try to message them we are thinking of the good things and ignoring everything we were unhappy about. If I think of those things I don't think I'd want to be with him forever anyways.

 

 

You are right when I miss him terribly I don't think of all the crap he has put me through...

I need to remember those things and stop thinking of the happy times.

 

Today is also Day 3 for me, let's do it together =)

[js0905]

I want to be just like you when I grow up ; )

Seriously I don't even know you but I'm soooo proud of you. It really is an amazing thing how you have worked on yourself and that you are able to reap the rewards.

 

So many times I tried to work on myself but don't/can't stick to it long enough and then get depressed and give up.

 

Thank you for always having awesome feedback =)

[MisSunny]

Another day, another emotional rollercoaster. Up down, up down... When does it end?

[MMT]

day 22

 

.... ... .... .... ...

[IAmFCA]

Day 11

 

The power shift. Not yet. Right now, I think if I were him I wouldn't come back. One day, the dust settles, and I can say yes, he is missing something he can't do without.

 

Actually, I kind of think that now. It is I who thinks the dust should settle first.

 

I miss saying hello.

 

Another week, another week. Let this week work itself through. Then comes the weekend. Date Saturday. Keeping NC at least through next weekend. How long before he calls me?

[LaRock]

Well..Day 7 NC, But She Texted Me Lasted Night Saying "I Really Need Your Help" I Debated AndDebated And FinallyResponded, "What's Wrong?" So she Says "NeverMind I'm Sorry I Got It" "Alright" I Said And.Then She Goes "Sorry" And.I Didn't Respond, idk What's Going On

[t1lersm0m1]

4 weeks ago I sent him an email I felt needed to be sent. Since then, radio silence. And while I'm not sure I'll keep counting on this thread, I have no intention of contacting him after 30, 60, 90 or any days. If I still think of him I may contact him on Easter, just an innocent Happy Easter E text. If he replies, see how he is.

 

He hurt me, but he wasn't lying to me, he was lying to himself, and I'm not angry with him.

 

This guy was a great guy, and I know I've healed because I can close my eyes, and picture him in a loving relationship with another woman and not feel pain. I sincerely wish him happiness. Someone who will accept him the way he is, and not try to change him (I tried to help him with his self-confidence, but he really wasn't interested/ready).

[IAmFCA]

OK I gotta say it here to be clean: just sent him an email re Milk Duds and Whoppers. Couldn't help it. The Milk Duds are so much worse than Whoppers.

 

Otherwise, I think my email didn't pierce the bubble too badly. No, it doesn't keep NC, but it doesn't require a response from him either.

[MMT]

: ) .....

 

Happy Birthday month to us =)

[MMT]

Day 22 in NC

and Day 1 in another thing I'm going through (for 40 days)

 

day 22

 

.... ... .... .... ...

[firefly2613]

Day 20.

 

I dont know how I feel. Everything was so sudden to me. I hate being alone. You left me alone. I hope he makes you happy and I also hope he doesnt. I'm just glad you can't see me. I hate loving you.

[js0905]

Another day.......

I hate Monday's............ugh!!

[MisSunny]

Feeling more upbeat today. Exercised... I'm starting to really enjoy the quivery feeling in my muscles after I workout. It feels like progress.