THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[flatplane]

Hang in there LonelyHeart.

 

NIC day 5

NC day 2

[Loungelurker]

What is NIC?

[HALE85]

What is NIC?

 

Yeah i have been thinking that.

[lonelyheart2]

It's 'no initiated contact' = I know it's me cheating counting those days but I feel it makes me feel better....

[Melting]

Day 9

 

I thought about him all weekend. Why oh why do we have to be working together? It is messing with my head so much.

If i knew i didn't ever have to see him again it would be easy!

I hope my journey starts getting better soon, cos this is killing me.

[Loungelurker]

Still not sure what that means... I didn't initiate the contact but he did? Contact is contact right? if he calls or texts.. I don't have to respond.. but I am so weak that I would

[lonelyheart2]

haha i know I am in the same position I don't have it in me to ignore him...which is why I'm counting my nic as it makes me feel a bit better that I'm not the one who is initiating the contact, he is. Which is why I'm almost at 30 with my nic but I guess teeeeechnically it doesn't count as real nc I'm only on 3 days...

[Loungelurker]

haha i know I am in the same position I don't have it in me to ignore him...which is why I'm counting my nic as it makes me feel a bit better that I'm not the one who is initiating the contact, he is. Which is why I'm almost at 30 with my nic but I guess teeeeechnically it doesn't count as real nc I'm only on 3 days...

 

Why does he keep contacting you? Do you get back to him right away?

[lonelyheart2]

Oh just random things, things he's seen that have reminders from our past relationship, nothing that attempts to make conversation, I have been friendly with him though and not ignored the contact as I don't really like the idea of ignoring someone....I think he will stop soon though as i don't think it's normal to want to keep communicating with an ex, especially one that only replies to your messages but doesn't initiate anything themselves.

 

The last contact we have had is when we bumped in to each other and he sent a message to say it was nice to see me afterwards. I don't think I'll have anything else after this other than perhaps a happy birthday message, So I am focussing on moving on. I am learning that breadcrumbs really don't mean anything.

[Redbean]

Hi everyone,

Day 10 of no contact

 

We dated for 4 years. I treated him very well and I don't doubt it. He though about breakup for like 3 weeks cos he was not sure so I gave him time. But he ended it. He said he felt like he is not ready in relationship. He said he didn't love me the same anymore. OH well. I did begging stuff like that and I stopped. I returned his key and took my piano very quickly (he said I can still have to key and the piano in his house since I teach piano in his house.)

 

And I left the country for at least 6 months so I am starting my NC without telling him. But these couple days I know he was looking for me since I don't pick up phone. My fd said I am not here anymore. I don't know how he feels. But I believe if he truly loves me, he will find his way back. I had made some mistakes but I am sure just minor stuff. Nothing is unforgivable.

[HALE85]

DAY 6 NC

 

I miss her, reality is setting in though that she probably wont come back to me in the future. oh well not really much i can do about it.

[Loungelurker]

Day 3 NC

 

I know I have to take this one day at a time- But the thought of going through this each day sucks. I just want it to be over already. Its like a knife through the heart everytime I think of him. I don't even know why I keep looking at my phone like he will contact me. I am a fool.

[JLKLEE]

I'm on Day 5. We have been broken up since November but just recently I became ok with NC. I no longer count the days but just try to focus on my life. I feel like he was either stringing me along or was putting in the least amount of effort to keep me there. I got a lot of the "I'm just trying to give us time", telling me he wants to work on things when he is drunk, telling my friend he is thinking about working on things, telling me he will make an effort, telling me he wants me in my life, texting me after a week of NC to tell me he hoped I had a good week.

 

I finally decided I had had enough. It hurt too much to be in contact with him and getting breadcrumbs here and there. I feel like I did everything I could do to try to give us another chance so it is time to move on. If sometime in the future things can work out, MAYBE I will entertain that. But I just feel better not feeling like I have to look at my phone every second because I don't expect a call.

 

I do know that all my other ex-boyfriends have come back. I wonder if he will too.

[HALE85]

1 Week NC, Completed, Feeling better as the days go by, seen her car yesterday at the garage, had the strong urge to pull into the garage, but i decided not too, she didn't see me. Oh well now for week 2 NC.

[Loungelurker]

Day 4 NC-

I was so tempted to email him last night. I didn't. Today driving into work I could not stop thinking about him. Once in a while reality sets in and I know he will never contact me again.... then I still find myself checking my email, or my phone... I can't wait till I no longer miss him.

[potty46]

Day four.

 

Today has probably been the hardest of all days. Today I was reminded of something I was not dealing with outside of our relationship. Something that happened long before our break up and something you didn't support me with. I hate you for leaving me when I needed you the most. I hate you for letting me put these feelings in the back burner, pushing these issues aside so I'd deal with our issues. None of it matters anymore though. It doesn't and hasn't changed the depth of my feelings or the idea that nothing should ever come in the way of love. It's clear that it does indeed come in the way of it. And it's so unfair that while I was so open about how I was feeling and NOT coping with exterior issues and that I fully appreciated your support... You weren't there and you didn't communicate at all. I do however, find comfort in your apology, for dumping me when I was down, for not trusting me enough to be vulnerable and also for acknowledging that we would still be together if you could open up about your emotions. But your guards back up now. You're not gone forever. You're simply gone for now.

[Cicero]

Day 1

Again...

 

After 6 days of NC I unblocked her on IM. I saw she wasn't online, and for some reason couldn't bring myself to block her again. Later that night I saw her online and I talked to her for no good reason. She was understandably confused. Apparently thought I never wanted to see her again, and has deleted my number from her phone to respect my wishes of her not contacting me. I feel like a jerk for selfishly making this more difficult for her, and also hurting my own progress. It brought a terrible and intimate dream in it's wake that left me near panic when I woke. I feel weak.

[lovebre]

Day One of NC

My ex boyfriend broke up with me ( for another girl ) on February 11th. Began dating her shortly after. I've been a wreck; depressed, angry.....Every morning I wake up crying. In the beginning he'd still contact me, always him initiating it, but I haven't spoken to him since March 1st. But I do constantly check his and his new girl's twitter and fb accounts Until today, I am making an effort to stop e-stalking them and to finally move on from this. I hope I can do it......

[flatplane]

Lovebre, do yourself a favour and just stop viewing their profiles. I wouldn't say block them as this makes you appear childish (I know many will disagree with this), just be very disciplined about it.

[and123]

I did NC for about 5 days earlier.. She contacted me twice withing these days but nothing. Acted friendly and she took up a old think she didnt like that i was doing. Then I called her and invited for a coffee.. I got a NO..

Afterthats I asked her on messenger, that why she didnt want to join me, doesnt she want to see/talk to me anymore? She said if she wouldnt want that, she had told me that allready. And we just broke up and she doesnt want no contacts atm. When she left me she told me she still loves me and she has nobody else... That the decision was for her very tough and its hard for her too..

Now its my 4th day. Reading a lot why people act like this. Why did I somehow ignored her needs. Why I didnt saw that I have so many distractions. And there were some complications with work and stress that I tought I better keep it to myself. I never ment to ignore her or make her feel unwanted. I really loved her even before the breakup.. I was proud of her.. And after that I realized ive been an * * * * * * * .. Well.. Now still trying to figure out how to fix things. Broke up on Jan 30.

Im open for new dates tho.. but not trying anything serious.. Avoiding sexual contact with others..

[HALE85]

DAY 8 NC, Not much to say apart from this sucks.

[potty46]

Day 5.

 

I hope to stop counting soon because this only holds me back. But for now, counting is the only thing that's keeping me going. I've basically hit rock bottom in terms of not coping and dealing with EVERYTHING in my life. I'm starting with dealing with this and forgiving myself. This starts with removing my reliance in Facebook. I went to delete you from Facebook AGAIN but I just couldn't. So I deleted myself instead, well... Deactivated. Now the only thing that's worrying me is not being able to play words with friends or draw something because my account is Facebook based. Haha. Priorities, right?

[Loungelurker]

Back to Day 0- I just sent an email I'm an idiot. I'm not going to lie.. it sort of felt good to send it.. and tell him I am angry and his behavior was unacceptable.

[lonelyheart2]

Day 2...I'm writing a diary but actually I'm counting days of nc in terms of my new healthy lifestyle rather than associating it with my ex too much.

[JLKLEE]

Day 7. I'm at the point where I don't even count the days. I just try to think of it less and less. I know I need to be completely out of his life for him to appreciate anything (If he does).