THE NO CONTACT CHALLENGE, Part 2

[Melting]

Day 7

 

Absolutely no urges to contact him. Still think of him alot, but moving on.

[Snow512]

Day 1

 

I accept the challenge....

I find myself picking up the phone or to have a internal debate to set it back down. I have so much I want to tell him and ask him. BUT I know NC is the best option for me. I know that I don't want to cry anymore...I don't want to lie here thinking about him...about the good memories...why are human relationships/emotions so difficult?

[einsteins_girl]

Today is 52 days NC and my birthday. I didn't hear from him, which was to be expected, but I still feel sad about it. On the way home tonight, there was a man walking a dog that looked exactly like his dog, and I felt a pang knowing I'll probably never see his dog again. After 6 years, I grew attached to things - to people - to pets - that will never be a part of my life again.

 

Even though I didn't hear from him today, I know he thought of me - probably more than once - and somehow that makes my heart hurt a little less. I also know that, over time, the pain will be less and less until it doesn't exist anymore. So, like every day, today was progress. Tomorrow is another day.

[Let him go]

HALE85,

I have been through all that. I am disappearing from his radar totally, now. No more contact with his friend. He will come back in May. In the beginning he might not realize, but in 6 to 8 months the reality will dawn upon him. When he comes back and starts teaching in the same university, he is gonna recall the good times when i was his student. There was no lust involved. It was a totally spiritual love. I was never revengeful. I gave him so much care, love and respect. Now, he won't find me anywhere. Even if he settles with some other girl, she won't love him the way i did.He is going to miss me badly.

Regarding you, i must say that what you are doing is the right thing to do. You seem to be mature in dealing with relationships. For you maybe its not good to be hopeful. For me, the hope made me heal gradually. If you stop hoping, i do not think you can be peaceful after a breakup. I nurtured that hope in me for a long time. I am still hopeful but i am not in a hurry to win him. I know sometimes it takes months or a few years...but he will come back. By that time, i might have moved on completely. Your moving on is almost directly proportional to the return of your ex.

One last word, keep your eyes on the long run. Stop counting days.....3rd day of NC, 4th day of NC. Sometimes, it takes months for your ex to come back. You just need to disappear from her radar completely. She shouldn't get to know about your whereabouts and there must be no common friends. Leave them alone for some time even if there are. Disappearing from her radar means that you do not exist for her. I hope she has your email address. She can contact you if she wants. Also, change your mobile number if she has it. I am telling you all the tricks that will push her emotional buttons.

Be strong and positive. Take care.

[flatplane]

Saw her at work yesterday, she said to me, I said hi back. day 4 NIC, NC day1. We work together, I'm not going to be petty enough to just ignore as the BU was on relatively decent terms. Although she was seeing someone else a lot a couple of weeks later, so there's more to it than she tells me.

 

@ Lonely Heart, I'm not familiar with your exact circumstances, but you're an attractive girl at uni. You should have plenty of opportunities to move forward if you so desired.

[HALE85]

Ok i know what i have to do. just disappear for a while, wont be easy, its my birthday early may so maybe i might get a text then, and could see what happens, but if not i will just keep on doing nothing. just hurts a lot as Ive done nothing wrong, i know she needs to sort things out, i just hope she still wants to be with me when she does that. just wish i could fast forward.

[lonelyheart2]

Thank you flatplane that's very kind of you Unfortunately I'm one of those girls who when I fall in love I find it very very difficult to let go of once it ends! It doesn't help seeing him around or that he keeps randomly contacting me. I never thought that would happen as my last ex completely disappeared when it finally ended. I'm pretty shy too which doesn't help, I'll come out of it eventually I'm sure

[potty46]

Back to day one for the third time... We finally had the confrontation we should have had weeks ago. I'm kinda glad it took this long because I now know that this isn't easy for you, like I assumed it was. You're angry and hurt just as much as me. Strict no contact for at least 30 days, I will reassess when I get to that point. And I WILL get there. This time is for real.

[CasualDude10]

Day 12 of NC. People tell me to text her, while others say not too. First girl i cant get over, so idk. I might justtext her a normal conversation. Or might wait a week. Idk idc anymore if it dont work it dont work. Any opinions??

[Let him go]

yeah, good luck. When is your birthday?

[HALE85]

May 2nd, hers is end of may, sooooo dunno if i would contact her on her birthday if she didn't on mine, ha-ha this is just a massive minefield. keep thinking i would contact her in 4 weeks ish, then i think, no i shouldn't, and so on, as i know she knows im not going to contact her until im ready, does that mean she wont contact me at all.

[Let him go]

lonelyheart2,

i am just like you. It sucks. Why can't we just let them go? I can't forget someone i love. Why do people change their loyalties so easily?

[Let him go]

HALE85,

Hmmmm. May 2nd. That is good. See, if she wishes you that day then and only then we can decide if you have to wish her back. Your assumption is wrong. Nothing stops the girls from contacting someone they really want to be with. Whether you contact her yourself or not, that is insignificant. . . rather counterproductive. Let her come to you herself. You have done your job.

[Let him go]

HALE85,

Let me tell you one more little thing that made me sail smoothly since he left. I read the book, 'The Secret' by Rhonda Byrne. 'The Power' by the same author is also good. In fact, you can just read The Power. Its based on the law of attraction that says you can attract anything in your life. Although now that i have moved on, that book doesn't appeal me much but during distress it was miraculous for me.These are self-help books. They saved me from going into depression.Self-help books do serve a purpose.

[HALE85]

Thanks for all your advice and input, really helped me think about what i should do. so i wont contact her at all until she contacts me, could be months or years but i guess that is up to her. Thanks again

[Let him go]

HALE85,

No need to thank me. The pleasure is all mine. Helping you is giving my life a purpose. In fact, i just log in for you basically. Its helping me move on in a way i can not explain. I will check your post tomorrow. Keep your next questions ready for me. Lol.Catch you later. Take care and keep smiling.

[Vastaux]

Day 30(1 month yesterday)

 

A bad day atm, i am wondering how she is, the longest i had done previous was 11 days, so i have already cleared that by a country mile... the thing keeping me going atm is that i dont want to be faced with the torment of "its day 1" again, i did that enough. I would love to contact her, see how she is... but i know it wont help. I still think about her everyday though... it's been just over 8 months... will this ever end?!!!!!!

[markie6]

It will end , most of us have been through these hard times before, and with hindsight realise that time really does heal all wounds. The length of time it takes is really a pain though 30[/b](1 month yesterday)

 

A bad day atm, i am wondering how she is, the longest i had done previous was 11 days, so i have already cleared that by a country mile... the thing keeping me going atm is that i dont want to be faced with the torment of "its day 1" again, i did that enough. I would love to contact her, see how she is... but i know it wont help. I still think about her everyday though... it's been just over 8 months... will this ever end?!!!!!!

[Melting]

Day 8 ... Round NC I have no idea.

 

The urge to contact you has faded away. I would never treat another human being the way you have treated me.

[Loungelurker]

Day 1 NC. He broke up with me on Valentines day- a month ago this coming Wednesday. I should have gone NC right away- I would be so much closer to being over him. Instead of having false hope that he still had feelings for me. Knowing I will never hear his voice again makes me so sad.

[Cicero]

Day 1 NC. He broke up with me on Valentines day- a month ago this coming Wednesday. I should have gone NC right away- I would be so much closer to being over him. Instead of having false hope that he still had feelings for me. Knowing I will never hear his voice again makes me so sad.

 

I was broken up with on the after! I'm certain you'll hear his voice again. Only, it will be on your terms at a time when it no longer has the power to hurt you, and when you are strong and whole. People get in touch with their past every now and again.

 

Day 4

Anyways, I posted on here a while ago stating that I was going NC, and haven't returned as I broke it that very night. Since then I've come to realize that it's impossible for my ex and I to be friends at this point. On Wednesday I asked her not to contact me and she agreed. Today is the fourth day we haven't spoken, and it was hard. Although I've deleted her from my facebook, I saw pictures of her hanging out with mutual friends that were taken tonight and I almost couldn't breathe. I decided to study instead of call, and I'm glad I did.

[Loungelurker]

Day 2 NC - I woke up early , and thought I heard him coming back to bed from the bathroom- That used to mean cuddling and ... until the alarm went off. It made me feel so empty. It has been a month since the break-up. He moved on and has been dating a girl for 3 weeks. I don't even want to bother with a relationship again- Then it just opens me up to this hurt again... better to be alone and never have to worry about picking up the pieces again. Why do I still wish he would change his mind when I know he is such an ass hat?

[lolitalempicka]

A little update from me.

 

Although my recent posts were about moving on, met a new guy, dating a couple of more (nothing much, just dinner here and there)....something weird is starting to happen.

 

It has been around 1 month since NC, I still feel pretty good, no crying and panic what usually follows when the breakup is fresh, but lately I've been missing him more and more. Actually, the thought which occupies me the most is - since there has been really no contact at all between us, blocked everywhere - is it how will it really stay - I will never hear from him again?

 

My mind and self respect is preventing me from reach out to him, however I feel more sad that I lost the contact with someone who once meant so much (and still does, but not in that way).

 

Also, if I start to contact him, this is potentially very slippery floor, and I'm too concerned that I could fall down.

It doesn't minimize my feelings, though.

 

Furthermore, I'm finally aware of all his bad sides, all the flaws of our relationship, I can say I miss his good sides and the happy moments from relationship. He was a good person to talk to, although I'm definitely not lonely now, I regret breaking up in a such a harsh and nasty way with ugly words.

 

So, maybe I'm re-joining this NC challenge, haven't broken it, and although I want - I don't plan to.

[HALE85]

DAY 5 NC

 

Just another day. find it hard to focus on other things but i'm guessing this feeling will gradually fade away.

[lonelyheart2]

DAY 28 nic

DAY 3 nc