lolitalempicka

A little update from me. Although my recent posts were about moving on, met a new guy, dating a couple of more (nothing much, just dinner here and there)....something weird is starting to happen. It has been around 1 month since NC, I still feel pretty good, no crying and panic what usually follows when the breakup is fresh, but lately I've been missing him more and more. Actually, the thought which occupies me the most is - since there has been really no contact at all between us, blocked everywhere - is it how will it really stay - I will never hear from him again? My mind and self respect is preventing me from reach out to him, however I feel more sad that I lost the contact with someone who once meant so much (and still does, but not in that way). Also, if I start to contact him, this is potentially very slippery floor, and I'm too concerned that I could fall down. It doesn't minimize my feelings, though. Furthermore, I'm finally aware of all his bad sides, all the flaws of our relationship, I can say I miss his good sides and the happy moments from relationship. He was a good person to talk to, although I'm definitely not lonely now, I regret breaking up in a such a harsh and nasty way with ugly words. So, maybe I'm re-joining this NC challenge, haven't broken it, and although I want - I don't plan to.

Just popping by to see how everyone's doing I haven't been around a while, didn't feel the need to talk about my ex anymore, but I started to like this forum and you people here. Keep doing NC, I'm assuring you, you will feel happy again soon! Good luck to everyone!

A little update from me. I've stopped counting already, it should have been like 3 weeks or something, but I don't have even the slightest urge to contact him. I don't think about him as much as I did before, he pops onto my mind occasionally but not in a way that I'd love to be with him again. Everybody hang-in there, this NC thing is a wonderful thing, I'll be still around but I will take this day that I moved on. One spontaneous applause, please!

I believe if you had balanced and strong relationship with an awesome guy, it would be harder for you. I was like you, but it was more that I idealized my ex and our relationship, while he really had some really nasty characteristics which I was denying to look at while with him. After starting NC, hanging out with people, enjoying small things, enjoying LIFE...without thinking at what time I have to be back home, otherwise he will start to question me...I realized that my past relationship was like a stone, stopping me from having carefree life, I was sticking to all his current problems and carrying them on my own shoulder, while me myself...I've got the best possible life I could have, I just didn't know how to appreciate it while being with him and his own problems. And this new guy....happened with a blink of an eye, two weeks ago, I was sending my ex message that I will wait for him as long as it takes. (Big lol now.) I've known this guy since I was in relationship, but never paid any attention to him because I saw only my own current boyfriend. Never thought it would happen so quickly, since I've never been ''rebound'' type, I usually wallowed in my own sorrow for months, even for guys which didn't mean nearly half of what my ex meant now. But, it happened, you see? I'm not immature nor in high-school, but at one point of your life, however it was hard to admit because of pain, you realize you and that other person have nothing else to say or do to each other, and that getting back wouldn't be ''the thing'' which would satisfy you. I asked myself, ''Why I still want him back after all what he done to me?''. The answer was simple - fear of unknown, my own hurt ego because of rejection. I didn't miss him mistreating me, I didn't miss me discovering his dating profiles, I didn't miss his lying about things to make him look better, I didn't miss him forgetting to wish me good night....you get the point, right? Oh, and a lot of dancing, good music, sunshine and beach, helped a lot. Everything what makes you good, everything what makes you the centre of your own universe. Good luck, I'll be happy to help. This forum did a lot for me, I'd like to give something in return.

Day 15. After starting NC in order to get him back....during past week I realized, and I can freely say...I DON'T want him back anymore Keep up guys, there is a light at the end of tunnel

Haha, lonelyheart2, I also had the dream, very...intriguing one, let me keep the details for myself, involving one guy I know here. Was very weird and surprising for me to dream about someone other than my boyfriend in that way. (I have no power over deciding whom to dream) And even more surprisingly, I woke up with huge smile and the dream felt so good. This guy is actually attracting me, I've known him since I was in a relationship, but I never paid any attention to guys around me...He's coming back to the place we usually reside soon, so....yeah, I'm pretty excited haha. Day 13 for me. Lucky 13 when I finally figured out that there are other guys capable of catching my attention. Hooray!

Day 12 It hurts, but I think I've learned to live with it. The moment of truth, I secretly unblocked him on Skype a week ago, he wouldn't appear, but yesterday and today he keeps coming online. He didn't contact me, but neither did I him. If not anything, he just might be surprised how my current behaviour isn't begging and pleading. Instead, I had curry and waffles as a desert.

Day 11 Emotions are less intense, but I simply feel awkward without hearing from him. And I wonder, will he ever contact me again? This is far away the longest period that two of us ever have not spoken.

Day 9. It gets easier and easier everyday. I'm starting to realize that relationship with him was true torture towards the end. Giving so much, getting so less from him.

Day 7. It gets easier. Whole week for me! Yaaaaaaay! I almost felt nothing, and yesterday night I was crying like a baby. Bloody rollercoasters Thoughts for those who are weak today - Imagine those moments you hated about the relationship. Feeling neglected and constantly fighting over that? I'm enjoying being free and around people who truly enjoy my company and laugh a lot Keep up everyone, lets put some value on ourselves

Constantly busy. During the day is okay. But it gets hell when I get to my room alone. Day 6. Grabbed phone 10 times. Feels like giving up a heroin.

Day 5. Busy, busy, busy. Beer after business. Ready to sleep. I wish he could message me, so I can coldly reject him and tell him all the nasty and hurtful things he did to me, and walk away. I know this will not happen, but feels nice to imagine such scenario.

That's how my day 4 went, too I had a nice time with friends this evening, had a good laugh. The more time goes, the less I feel clingy need for him, random anger moments occur. Oh, and I keep looking myself in the mirror and thinking how great catch I am. (I truly think so, with a risk of being a bit narcisstic.)

NC Day 4. Last night went out clubbing again with two male friends. Men can be great as friends, without any pushing from their side, they are giving me ''male-side'' of the story. It was like ''Scr*w it honey, lets go have fun.'' They ended up hooking up girls around, while I joined two other guys playing pool. Had a good laugh, although still can't imagine myself hooking up with someone. I've never been a kind of person for one-night-stand, so it doesn't appeal me neither now, but I enjoyed making new friends. When I'm around other people, my ex occasionally pops-out in my thoughts, however the hardest part is before sleep and waking up. Also, staying alone in the room makes my thoughts go mad. This morning I wondered where is he, does he even think of me, will he ever understand what he lost...? Has he really lost something? How does he feel? Will dating other girls make him forget me, or he will remember my qualities and how much I love him still? For Valentine's, before NC, he admitted he missed me, but said don't get me wrong. So, even he's been missing me, he doesn't want to be with me? One side of me is trying to understand this, while other side is trying to move on for the sake of my own good.