Annie's Journal of Dating and Body Hair Removal

[annie24]

annie, you're a smart cookie and you're a lady who works in STEM, have you dated any guys in your field or guys who are more nerdy/intellectual and have interests related to that? I've always had a fondness for more nerdy guys and I think it's a lot of fun because they tend to have more varied interests and similar interests with me.

 

I've got to say, most of the single guys in my circle haven't seemed interested in me. Or if they have, they've hid it well. There's a been a few guys on okcupid I saw work at the same university as me, also with PhDs, and I've written to a few of them, but they didn't seem too interested either.

[Fudgie]

What does "not that interested" mean to you? It could be that there are guys out there who are interested in you and dating, but they are low-key or shy and take a while to warm up. They aren't going to make bigger gestures early on or try to get with you physically. As long as they talk to you and continue to make plans with you, then that constitutes as interest in my book.

[annie24]

What does "not that interested" mean to you? It could be that there are guys out there who are interested in you and dating, but they are low-key or shy and take a while to warm up. They aren't going to make bigger gestures early on or try to get with you physically. As long as they talk to you and continue to make plans with you, then that constitutes as interest in my book.

 

well, that's what I mean - not even asking me out or trying to make plans with me. Just like a friendly hi at the elevator or friendly conversation in the hall.

[annie24]

Ugh, so many lame guys.... I've been chatting with B from Okcupid. I was kind of on the fence about him. He said he wanted to talk on the phone. I said sure. He asked if I could call him that night (thursday), i said yes, but not until late (I was going to a performance until late). I said probably around 10;30. He said he was probably going to be asleep then. I said I'd try to call earlier if I could. I decided to call around 6, before the show. He didn't pick up. Then during the show, he texted saying he fell asleep, sorry he missed my call. He's going to sleep now, so he was going to call me the next day (Friday). No phone call friday or saturday. Today he texts and calls, saying he forgot to call me over the weekend, can I talk now? Blah. so lame. I'm over it....

[annie24]

So, B and I finally talked on the phone. he was persistent. First off, how he talked was .... weird. like he was on drugs or something. Well, then he told me he is on medication for anger issues. So, ok, yes. And he smokes pot. I asked how much. He said once a week, but he's trying to cut back.... he asked if that was a deal breaker.... I said, "well... yes." I told him I'm not exactly against pot, but I've dated potheads in the past and it just didn't turn out well. He said other women have said the same thing to him. He said he finds it mellows him out but decreases motivation (well, obviously). He asked if I wanted to get a drink, I said no, he should find someone he has more in common with.

[Silverbirch]

Ugggghhhhh. So frustrating!

[LAYAAN]

So, B and I finally talked on the phone. he was persistent. First off, how he talked was .... weird. like he was on drugs or something. Well, then he told me he is on medication for anger issues. So, ok, yes. And he smokes pot. I asked how much. He said once a week, but he's trying to cut back.... he asked if that was a deal breaker.... I said, "well... yes." I told him I'm not exactly against pot, but I've dated potheads in the past and it just didn't turn out well. He said other women have said the same thing to him. He said he finds it mellows him out but decreases motivation (well, obviously). He asked if I wanted to get a drink, I said no, he should find someone he has more in common with.

Wow.. kudos to you for being firm n quickly turning down unsuitable guys. I wish I could be more like you.

[LAYAAN]

Ugh, so many lame guys.... I've been chatting with B from Okcupid. I was kind of on the fence about him. He said he wanted to talk on the phone. I said sure. He asked if I could call him that night (thursday), i said yes, but not until late (I was going to a performance until late). I said probably around 10;30. He said he was probably going to be asleep then. I said I'd try to call earlier if I could. I decided to call around 6, before the show. He didn't pick up. Then during the show, he texted saying he fell asleep, sorry he missed my call. He's going to sleep now, so he was going to call me the next day (Friday). No phone call friday or saturday. Today he texts and calls, saying he forgot to call me over the weekend, can I talk now? Blah. so lame. I'm over it....

Dating sites tested my patience to the last bit!!! A recent article mentioned that the success rate of matrimonial sites (for my culture) is only 10%. Don't know if such data are available for western countries. I really don't know if men on these dating sites are serious about getting married or is it that our age group makes it harder to find quality men on these sites.

[annie24]

Wow.. kudos to you for being firm n quickly turning down unsuitable guys. I wish I could be more like you.

 

Luckily, you're done with online dating now forever, Mrs. Layaan!!

[annie24]

Dating sites tested my patience to the last bit!!! A recent article mentioned that the success rate of matrimonial sites (for my culture) is only 10%. Don't know if such data are available for western countries. I really don't know if men on these dating sites are serious about getting married or is it that our age group makes it harder to find quality men on these sites.

 

Does that mean only 10% of people who sign up meet and marry someone within a year or two?

 

It's a numbers game. I have a lot of friends who met online and been to a lot of weddings where the couple met online. One former moderator here, she actually married the first man she met during OLD!! haha, that's luck. I know a woman, she was about to give up online dating, but decided to go on one date before canceling her account - they're married now. so... it happens.... just not consistently...

 

I have a date with P tomorrow - we're getting indian food.

[notalady]

I think once you have a good profile set up, a good set of personal must haves and deal breakers (and actually apply it), the rest is luck.

[LAYAAN]

Does that mean only 10% of people who sign up meet and marry someone within a year or two?

It's a numbers game. I have a lot of friends who met online and been to a lot of weddings where the couple met online. One former moderator here, she actually married the first man she met during OLD!! haha, that's luck. I know a woman, she was about to give up online dating, but decided to go on one date before canceling her account - they're married now. so... it happens.... just not consistently...

I have a date with P tomorrow - we're getting indian food.

Yes, only 10 out of 100 profile owners get married using that website. In my culture, dating is not prevalent like it is in the western culture. So, the poor results may be because of the hesitation of people to marry someone they don't know much about. Even I was hesitant to go meet men from different community than my own through these sites. Yes, I agree. It is a numbers game.

[annie24]

I went on a second date with P this week. Again, he was dressed nicely. We went to an Indian restaurant and then somewhere else for drinks. He's sweet and nice. We kind of made tentative plans to hang out today but I just have too much to do. blah. We'll have a 3rd date soon.

 

R has contacted me several times but I just ignored his texts, didn't explain why.

[annie24]

Woke up at 5 AM this morning during a dream (or was it real?!) of someone banging on my door. I was too scared to walk over to the door to check the peephole. I hope that was a really realistic dream and not someone who was actually knocking on my door this morning!!

[Fudgie]

It could have been someone banging on the door. I've had that happen various times (although not banging, it was ringing a doorbell since I'm in an apartment) and it's usually some dork who wants to be let in (I ignore them). It used to happen in the wee hours especially in my old apartment, because we'd have police come around to ask about a crime that just happened in the area that they would ring bells/knock on doors of many people right away to get info. Again, I ignored. If it's that important, they can leave me a message or get a warrant.

[annie24]

The front desk person said that there was no one "official" banging on doors at 5 AM. She said next time, if I hear banging, I should call the front desk and ask who it is (there's a security camera right outside of my door). It could have been a dream too, lol.

[annie24]

I had a 3rd date with P last night and it was nice. I was running late and he was very chill about it. We went to a mediterranean restaurant for dinner. Then I took him to a flamenco show. It was his first flamenco show, he really loved the music and the dancing, it was spectacular. After that, we had a late night drink by his place and we wound up staying out till 1 AM. So, a pretty long date. He held my hand and gave me a kiss at the end of the night. He's very sweet. Dressed and smelled nice. Funny stories. He's very outgoing and friendly, so good things. He mentioned more than a few times that he wants to go do this and that with me. He's mentioned wanting me to come over to his place to chill out, but I'm trying to take things slow here and get to know him first before things move too fast. But all in all, things are good. He's very kind and respectful. No kids, no divorces, has a good relationship with his family. Plays musical instruments, well traveled, good job, seems to like me.

[Ms Darcy]

Well P sounds like a very good guy!

[Ellie2006]

Agree with Ms Darcy. Do you feel like he has potential? Or are you rather reserved about him this early on?

 

 

Well P sounds like a very good guy!

[annie24]

Agree with Ms Darcy. Do you feel like he has potential? Or are you rather reserved about him this early on?

 

I'm not a "smitten kitten" as batya would say with him. But maybe that's a good thing. Personality-wise, he has everything I'm looking for, as far as I can see. He's cute, but he's not fully my type physically, but I don't find him unattractive either. But his personality is very good (as far as I can tell so far), and I know that's very important. I definitely want to spend more time with him and just see what happens.

[sophie274]

I'm not a "smitten kitten" as batya would say with him. But maybe that's a good thing. Personality-wise, he has everything I'm looking for, as far as I can see. He's cute, but he's not fully my type physically, but I don't find him unattractive either. But his personality is very good (as far as I can tell so far), and I know that's very important. I definitely want to spend more time with him and just see what happens.

 

What does he look like?

 

It sounds like at least he has a handle on how to date. Planning nice outings, no sexting or pictures of his thing - could teach some of the other guys in your area a few things!

 

Ps. See you soon maybe?!

[annie24]

What does he look like?

 

It sounds like at least he has a handle on how to date. Planning nice outings, no sexting or pictures of his thing - could teach some of the other guys in your area a few things!

 

Ps. See you soon maybe?!

 

He's cute. He's my height thought (5'7") and I usually prefer men at least a few inches taller. He's indian but looks more hispanic. I'll show you photos. But personality wise, he's very fun, outgoing, social, likes to meet new people, likes to party but is responsible about it (says he was usually the DD with his friends). He moved to my city 4 months ago and is trying to establish a friend group here. He's definitely been a much better date then some other men, you are right sophie!

 

He invited me to his place tonight for netflix and pizza. lol. I'll go. I'll report back how it goes.

 

Yes, I hope to see you again soon!! Let me know when you are ready to hang out!!

[Ms Darcy]

Girl ... he's a good man (so far anyway) who has the qualities you say you want. Haven't you been lamenting for a good man? I know attraction is 100% within your control, but I would look inside yourself and really think about whether height (for example) is a must have or nice to have.

[annie24]

Girl ... he's a good man (so far anyway) who has the qualities you say you want. Haven't you been lamenting for a good man? I know attraction is 100% within your control, but I would look inside yourself and really think about whether height (for example) is a must have or nice to have.

 

Oh, i mean, I'm definitely giving him a chance. Otherwise, there wouldn't have even been a second date. Personality wise, he's a lot of what I'm looking for. I actually met him on Tinder, lol!!

[Ms Darcy]

Oh boy, Tinder! Lol.