Example of how most men value looks over intelligence

[CaptainPlanet]

Hi

 

Hate to cut in.

 

"Are you trying to imply that getting a graduate degree is a bad choice and does not increase one's likelihood of successful career?! Do you really want to try and argue that point?"

 

I don't think that point needs to be argued because it is a fact that they decrease your chances of finding employment in most cases.

 

EDIT: what does flipping houses mean ?

[fnlyfrei]

People like you are defined as snobs. Seriously, not trying to be rude, but to think b/c someone has a "higher" education makes them more in your "values' range, makes you a snob.

 

link removed

 

Thinking you need a college degree to make you smart shows a lack of intelligence on your part. Again, not trying to be rude but wow to you thinking ppl with degrees are somehow superior.

 

I fit right in there with your "value" group being highly educated myself and I would not chose my friends or men based on their education, but their morals and standards.

 

I have no doubt you and your "educated" friend act and feel superior to most

 

Just a thought...

 

Oh, sorry.

[poloplayer]

Removed...will add later

[summerpeach]

Hi

 

Hate to cut in.

 

"Are you trying to imply that getting a graduate degree is a bad choice and does not increase one's likelihood of successful career?! Do you really want to try and argue that point?"

 

I don't think that point needs to be argued because it is a fact that they decrease your chances of finding employment in most cases.

 

EDIT: what does flipping houses mean ?

 

Buying a "fixer upper" house, fixing it, then reselling it for a profit.

[Clarity]

I don't think that point needs to be argued because it is a fact that they decrease your chances of finding employment in most cases.

 

I'll ask for a link with statistical proof, although the awkward wording "it is a fact they they decrease your chances of finding employment in most cases" already shows that this is likely not a statistically-supported statement.

[summerpeach]

I must say, for someone who claims to have a PhD. you really don't do a good job of arguing the facts and only seem capable of ad hominem attacks (hopefully you don't have to look that up).

 

.

 

You see, having a PHD does not make one smart. I am as dumb as a doorknob....

[Clarity]

If my posts were directed at someone else, why are you replying to my posts with such venom? I was not addressing you, yet you come at me telling me I need to apologize. Do you not think this person cannot defend herself?

 

 

yes, you're correct, I have a masters in prejudice and a phd in fortune telling but have a degree in common sense

 

I will defend anyone on this forum who I believe is attacked without basis and with flawed reasoning.

 

I hope I didn't put words in Batya's mouth or overstep my bounds, but that's just my nature.

[CaptainPlanet]

I will defend anyone on this forum who I believe is attacked without basis and with flawed reasoning.

 

I hope I didn't put words in Batya's mouth or overstep my bounds, but that's just my nature.

 

So when will you be defending people without college degrees ?

[Clarity]

So when will you be defending people without college degrees ?

 

Who's attacking them?

[Cassie]

It's difficult for me to equate intelligence with an educational background when I've discovered many of my most 'brilliant' professors (Masters and PhD. students) to be tediously one dimensional.

[Clarity]

I don't think anyone in this thread is actually equating education to intelligence, I honestly don't know where that notion is coming from...

[Cassie]

It was merely an observation which mystified me.

 

Everyone has a right to their personal preferences while screening out a potential mate. However, through my experiences t he most enlightened individuals I stumbled accross were concealed in the rarest of circumstances. Basing merit on a piece of paper - or lack thereof - can be gravely deceptive.

[Clarity]

I fully agree that basing "merit" (whatever that may be defined as) on formal education alone, or at all, is foolish. However, I would say that generalizing based on formal education may not be 100% fair, but is done all the time. Anyone who has done a job search is faced with this.

[boo121]

In sum, professionally - good; personally - beyond frustrated.

 

It amazes me that someone such as urself, is able to speak in front of public and confidently present an argument to a group of people. But when it comes to approaching a group to a guy u like.... u get nervous and hesitate... we all do

[Batya33]

I know many people who are comfortable speaking in public - or acting on stage - but not comfortable in more personal social situations. I also know that it can be very difficult -- and often not appropriate -- to approach someone you are personally interested in in the context of a business meeting.

[Batya33]

I fully agree that basing "merit" (whatever that may be defined as) on formal education alone, or at all, is foolish. However, I would say that generalizing based on formal education may not be 100% fair, but is done all the time. Anyone who has done a job search is faced with this.

 

I don't base merit on a formal education unless that is a qualification of the job involved and I am interviewing the person.

 

When it comes to choosing someone to marry, I generally assume that where I live (i.e. a big city where if you want a formal education and can get into college there are many alternatives to smooth the way financially and similar) if you want to get a college education you can. If you choose not to get a college education despite being intelligent enough to do so, chances are it is because you chose not to and chances are that it was not a priority to you.

 

I don't judge that choice, but chances are we wouldn't have compatible values when it comes to the importance of higher education and compatible values about higher education are important to me when choosing a mate.

 

I don't know and have never known more than a few people from my general geographic area, in my age group, and of my religion (I will not marry outside of my religion, but that's off this topic) who chose not to at least finish college. The very few I did meet were not attracted to me, or I was not attracted to them (nothing to do with the education level).

 

The ones I encountered on online sites who I might have been interested in from their profiles, either appeared not to be too bright from what they wrote in their e-mails or were bright but explained that they did not go to college because they wanted to make more money, or because it wasn't important to them to do so. Neither of those reasons would work for me in the context of a serious relationship leading towards marriage. I respect that some people value being making a lot of money over being educated and respect that college is not for everyone, but respect doesn't mean we would have enough in common for a serious relationship.

 

I don't see a college or higher degree as just a piece of paper, never have, never will. Doesn't make it wrong to believe it is just a piece of paper, just my humble opinion.

[Clarity]

I don't see a college or higher degree as just a piece of paper, never have, never will. Doesn't make it wrong to believe it is just a piece of paper, just my humble opinion.

 

I fully agree with this. I especially can't fathom calling it this after having dedicated years of one's life to it.

[Huntsman]

I would chat you up. You sound cool.

[JadedStar]

I fully agree with this. I especially can't fathom calling it this after having dedicated years of one's life to it.

 

I do agree, a college degree is certainly more than just a piece of paper. It is a decree showing that someone worked really hard at an achievement. I would never say "it's just a piece of paper".

 

It's not. Especially not to the bearer and not to many employers. I don't judge anyone without a degree but i do find a lot of judgement from non grads to those who did go...to include my ex. He made light of it and acted like it was no big deal. But that was coming from a man who never wanted to work for anything in his life.

[Cassie]

I respect that some people value being making a lot of money over being educated and respect that college is not for everyone, but respect doesn't mean we would have enough in common for a serious relationship.

 

Batya, if I may ask, assuming you have magically become single.

 

If you met a divine man with an entrepreneurial spirit who was highly successful in his endeavors and an ambitious self-learner, yet was not educated in the traditional sense (by lacking a Masters or PhD.), would he be dismissed?

[servedcold]

My "piece o paper" attitude comes from the realization that one's accomplishments in life have so much more to do with how one uses one's experiences than the nature and quality of the paper on the wall. In my 20s, the education was 90% of what I sold to employers/clients, 20 years later, it's lessened to about 10%, with experience and achievements representing 90%. Admittedly, the quality of the diplomas, and the requisite gpas have lots to do with initial opportunities, but this fades over time as people show what they will -do- with their knowledge/experience to capitalize on their academic achievements, and how they will grow and achieve over time. I also agree that the dedication necessary to obtain a degree often predicts future success in maximizing the way experience is put to work.

[annie24]

To the "a degree is just a piece of paper" camp: (I love The Onion )

 

link removed

 

I agree with you servedcold. On one hand, for many jobs you don't NEED a college degree, you can learn much of that stuff on your own. Who ever said you needed to go to college to learn french or learn how to run a business? a lot of people can do things by innate thinking and dedication on their own part. And yes, as you get further in your career, the less it matters what you did years ago. People only care about what you've done lately. who cares if you graduated summa cum laude 15 years ago? what have you done for your company last year? And I agree that the degree is far more than just a piece of paper, it does show a certain "stick-to-it-ness," especially with the advanced degrees. And of course, in certain fields (most obviously in the medical field), you just aren't going to learn how to do brain surgery anywhere else but school. do you want to get surgery from the guy who got his degree at the "school of hard knocks?"

 

As for the point of "values", I don't see why people are coming down so harshly here. it's a personal thing, we should all respect each other's values (ie, what we value). Some people value ballet. Others value monday night football. i value a strong cup of coffee in the morning. what's so wrong and elitist with valuing higher education?

[Leonhart]

For me, intelligence isn't a factor when looking for a mate. Provided she is literate, can do basic math and can speak coherent english so we can carry on a decent conversation. The ability to hold down a simple job may also be a plus (though it's not required).

 

There are so many other (personality) traits that I look for than someone who is smart/thinks she's smart. A girl who can whiz through a calculus problem does not turn me on (at least, in and of itself). But hey, that's me.

[Salucious]

I didn't most of the replies but I'll respond to the OP. Yeah, this is nothing new. And women do it too. I know this because I'm a fairly intelligent guy (I'm a logical person; I see clear reasonable solutions to problems easily and I can hold an interesting intelligent conversation.) Does this matter? No, cause I'm 5'5" so most girls won't bother getting to know me. I'm not complaining, just giving an example of how women value looks over intelligence. I understand your frustration, but just remember it works both ways.

[Batya33]

Batya, if I may ask, assuming you have magically become single.

 

If you met a divine man with an entrepreneurial spirit who was highly successful in his endeavors and an ambitious self-learner, yet was not educated in the traditional sense (by lacking a Masters or PhD.), would he be dismissed?

 

It would depend why he chose not to get a higher degree (college or beyond) - monetary success would not be a substitute for that. It also would depend on the connection, if any, of his degree to his line of business, what line of business he was in, what he had learned/focused on as a self-learner, etc.