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Hi, I would not recommend CDs (or anything which a bank offers other than an IRA), or any bonds, annuities, or other fixed income instruments unless you are well over 50. Barely any risk = barely any return. Do this when you are older and want to gain something, however, you're older and don't work as much so you want to play it safe. Also, don't play with derivatives unless you know what you are doing. Very risky = very high return, but you can lose money very quickly. Liquid - easy to buy or sell Passive - place money in and sit back and relax: ETFs or Index funds. You are a passive investor, the expenses are very low, and your return will be "average." Average here means you mimic an index. iShares are good for MSCI mimics and Spyders for S&P. Mutual funds. Passive as well, however, the expenses can eat up your returns. Check each funds excess return and expense ratio. Compare this to their annualized return. All funds cite annualized returns for marketing purposes - that distorts the picture as expenses can eat up some (in some cases all) of the return. The difference is what you actually earned. Dodge & Cox, Vanguard, and Sit offer some good ones. International and emerging markets have been returning ~20% past 2-3 years. Please keep in mind that 50% of all funds DO NOT beat their benchmark (index) each year, which means, the professionals who do this for a living can't beat the market. Active - you need to know what you are doing: Stocks. This is your best bet, however, this is active investing. You need to stay on top of it, do your due diligence, monitor, rebalance, etc., however, you can make a killing if you know what you are doing. On average, stocks have offered a 12% annual return over the last 60+ years. Illiquid - hard to buy or sell Real Estate. Great investments, especially at a time of subprime tanking and so many foreclosures on the market and mortgage rates relatively flat. You will be able to find some great deals out there, however, make sure you can make the payments. Also, it might be tough to sell down the road, especially when you are in a bind and need to get out. Can you pay the taxes, maintenance if needed, etc.? What's the best way? Only you can answer that based off of: 1. How risk averse you are 2. What your time horizon is 3. And what you are looking for (growth, value, dividends, appreciation, etc.) If you don't know too much about investments, then I would suggest you purchase into either (A) ETFs, or (B) mutual funds. I'd suggest doing this after you place money into an IRA ($4k a year) and let someone else do the dirty work for you. Or, if you are more into real estate, then go that route. If you have a lump sum and are willing to shop around, then you can find a great deal within the next 6 months.

I don't think there is anything wrong with buying a girl a single rose when going on a date. In fact, I have done it before on a couple of occasions (first date or a much later date), and usually the rose was seen withered away in a glass/vase months down the road in her bedroom or kitchen. Reason being was because I was sincere AND she knew that. Women have this knack for intuition. The times where I bought a bouquot after I severely f-ed up was a different story. It was as if she could sense why I was doing it - typical guy move trying to finally place a little bandaid on a gash that was spilling blood. In hingsight, I think I just looked like a buffoon, fumbling around with some flowers knowing I was guilty one time too many AND she knew that as well. I've played plenty of games with girls in the past. Sure, games work, and they attract women and you will get laid and maybe snatch a girlfriend. After doing that with many different girls I finally learned something - sure I got some great action, but I never got what I really wanted in a girl beyond that. It got very, very old - to the point where I began rejecting hot girls that would try to grind on me in a bar. Maybe, for me, I finally got to the point where I was able to settle down, and settle down ment go steady - beyond another rabbit to pounce on each night. You want to give a rose? Great! Give a rose. You want to resort to conniving tactics? Go for it. It all depends on what your looking for. I'm a firm believer in the old adage - "If you always do what you always did, then you'll always get what you always got." Getting burned after offering a rose or being nice? Well, the problem might not be you at all - it's the girl(s) that you are going after.

Hi, Start taking fish oil supplements. My doc recommended them to me while I was in college as a boost. She said I wouldn't have to study as much. Not sure if that was the case for me, but I did note an improvement. Regardless if it had a placebo effect or not, it is good for your body. As far as exercises, anything which requires learning and staying active will help. Read books, newspapers, do puzzles, etc.

Hi, Those are the qualities that I looked for in girls when I was in school (high school and college). That doesn't mean that I shy away from those qualities, or don't want a person that has them, but I tend to not place as much importance on them anymore. The qualities that turn me on today (mid-twenties): 1. Generosity: not specifically with me, but with others. If she volunteers her time to help others I will probably fall pretty quickly. It shows me that she is more selfless than selfish. It also tells me she is a kind and warm person. 2. Humility: someone who is not vain, or self-centered. Someone who does not have a sense of entitlement, and is down to earth. 3. How she treats (and what she says about) other women. I've met too many girls who have called other women "ugly" or "fat" or "that shirt/purse/etc. is so ugly." So what? Why do you notice this and just have to point it out? Highly unattractive. 4. Faith. No specific religion. Just faith in something bigger that is out their. 5. Not prone to run with a certain clique and fit in. 6. How she dresses. If I see designer labels I don't think chic with a sense of fashion, I think high maintenance. If I see something simple or cute, I am more attracted to her. A personal sense of dress, but one that doesn't scream "I need that label" 7. Smarts - that doesn't mean many degrees or years of formal education or a certain career. A nice balance between book smarts, street smarts and common sense. 8. Smiles.

Hi, I share the same sentiment, except with very good looking women that speak with me. It's not an issue of confidence or that I'm nervous - I just don't trust them. Perhaps this is just my own insecurity from previous experiences with very good looking women. I also think personality is more important than looks, but personality is an entire umbrella of components and is defined by someone's perception. That tall, slender, chic dressed hottie with a martini in hand chatting away with everyone in the room is not someone I think is confident, sexy, and successful (others though would disagree with me). To me it's someone I'd prefer not to speak with and get to know. The girl who is simply cute and more reserved is someone I'd rather speak with and get to know. Maybe this all comes back to my issue of trustworthiness in my previous paragraph? We're all different in this respect. I've found the ugliest looking people I've met to have the best personalities, and some of the hottest women I've met to have the worst (hot women know they are hot, and that in itself is a huge turnoff). As a side note, I think too many people throw around dating buzzwords such as confidence, personality, etc. Do I want someone with an awesome personality? What exactly is an awesome personality? How do you define it? Don't confuse personality with character - they may be intertwined at points, but they are separate.

Hi, I think deploying NC on someone falls upon the circumstances of the relationship. I dumped many girls in high school, and was annoyed at why they would always be weird around me. I thought they were being looney. My gosh, what's wrong with saying "hello" to someone when you see them? My uncle telling me "you're not responsible for anyone's feelings" didn't help my situation either. Then again, this was high school, and a serious relationship in high school was not the same as a serious relationship post high school. Then I got dumped for the first time in college. This was my "first love" and I had strong feelings for her. I'm not sure if it was my heart which was broken, or my ego that was crushed. Probably a little bit of both. But, I didn't hate her. I knew what she was like and she was very honest with me when we broke up. She's never really had a serious relationship before, and she didn't want to be so serious this early in life, and this early in college. It hurt, but it made sense. I went into NC so I could heal, but I still saw her on a semi-frequent basis through mutual friends. I would still say "hi" to her when I saw her, and still hung out with her at times with groups of friends, but after a good deal of time apart. Heck, we even went on a date again down the road, but, the point of NC in this situation was for me to heal - lick my wounds, get over her, get over our relationship, learn from it, focus on myself, and grow as a person while moving on. NC helped me deal with the pain and re-collect myself. I also learned the other side of the coin from my uncle's comment back in high school: "you're not responsible for anyone's feelings." I learned empathy, and I gained a certain maturity about why people did not want to speak with me after things ended. It wasn't because she was looney, it was because she was hurt, and seeing me/speaking with me was painful. Being dumped by someone I cared about and had feelings for gave me a new perspective on this; a perspective much different than close friendships falling apart. I also don't think there is anything childish by ignoring someone depending on the circumstances. There is one girl I dated who I won't acknowledge at all, and that's because I was abandoned when tough times fell on me. No words of encouragement from her, and no solace of support. I became a burden to her, who was my girlfriend at the time. I'm mature to realize that tough times for someone in a bf/gf relationship of less than one year is a large responsibility to place on the other person, however, I also have my answer of who that person really is by how they handle these situations, as in do they make an effort and do they really care. In the end, I had no problem telling her to her face to stay out of my life. Most of it came out in anger in the heat of the moment, but I don't regret it to this day. The silent, expressionless gawks I have received from her when I bumped into her afterwards made me want to say it again, but the past is the past, I've forgiven but not forgetten, I wish you the best and all of the health, wealth and happiness that a person can have, but never speak with me again. I have no interest in reconciliation or in friendship or as an acquaintance. The moral here is NC is a good recovery tool, and I could never realize the point of it until I was dumped by someone I still had strong feelings for. Before that relationship, I could not understand why an old flame did not want to speak with me, or would be weird around me. Being on both sides of the fence allows me to understand relationships better, and even people. It brought out some softer qualities within me, whereas in the past I just thought, "man, she has issues" or "grow up." People are more complicated than that. Feelings are not black and white. Relationships are not cut and dry. And I think it requires a certain maturity to understand and appreciate that. Counting the number of days since you deployed Operation NC is a little extreme, but effectively using it to get over a relationship, a good relationship, which just didn't work out in the end is a great recovery tool. If you had a good relationship that ended very badly, or if you just had a bad relationship period, then I don't see any problem with ignoring someone or banishing them from your life. NC is only there to help you deal with whatever it is you need to deal with in an effective manner.

Hi, Kudos to Batya and MoneyGod who made some excellect points in this thread. Paraphrasing some of their points within the framework of my experiences: 1. Trying to find someone > might lead to something, but usually just disappointment. I have placed too great of an emphasis on meeting someone due to some reason(s) [i.e., been a while, loneliness, etc.]. 2. Not trying to find someone > I am working on my life, which means my physical, mental, emotional, material and spiritual well-being. I don't have much of an emphasis (or any) on finding someone of the opposite sex. I am enjoying my life and, wow, people do tend to take notice and friendships form which lead to something more. I'm sure these 2 can work together, but in my experience, when I do #1, then I stumble in #2. When I focus on #2, then #1 just happens or even flip-flops and someone finds me.

Hi, I've been on both sides as well, and I do not think you should move in together beforehand to "test to waters" like others have already mentioned. I am an open-mided person, but what I have experienced and witnessed with friends that began living together with their partner is...odd, to say the least. I too thought that living together would be a great test to see if we were really right for each other. But this is how it went: Although there were strong feelings and solid commonalities and talk about living together beforehand, what happened in effect was a lease on the relationship. This test was ultimately set up as pass or fail. The fact is that we weren't married, so, if we don't really get along then we are not right for each other. Perhaps there is some truth to that, but in hindsight, I think that the premise of our test is what bit us. We were not at the same level of commitment that marriage entails, so if things go sour then it's okay to walk away without a bitter seperation or court battle. Now the perception of divorce becomes more liberal as well, and in the end, you can terminate your lease with your partner. I think that the level of commitment trumps any other excuse of why it didn't work out (and for the record, I wasn't an angel - both parties had faulted). If personal space and alone time is that important, then please figure that out before you get married. Playing house is not necessary to see if you are ready for marriage yet or not. You are a grown woman and can decide to do as you wish, but a year is not too far off to please your parents out of respect unless there are some convincing reasons why you should move in.

Hi, Sometimes we get stuck between a rock and a hard place in life - this seems to be one of those cases. You don't really see the light at the end of the tunnel, and the big picture is slowly shrinking down to something very, very narrow. I think we all visit this place, and I think many people think and feel this way with school. First, a college education is not necessary. Neither is a graduate degree necessary, UNLESS, you know that you absolutely want to work in a certain field or have a certain profession (i.e., if you want to be a lawyer you pretty much have to go to law school - you can take and pass the bar without formal legal education but you will be hard to market, same goes for medicine and other fields). There are plenty of people I know who never went to college and MOST of them are making more than those I know that did go to college and in many cases, they make more than those with a graduate degree. I wholely agree with this: Second, statistics are just numbers. They can support a claim, but in many cases they are misleading if you don't understand how statistics work. Money and level of education vary. I've met people who just have a bachelors degree in finance or math and they make more money than almost all lawyers or doctors will ever see. Yet, people cite how much the average lawyer or doctor makes. Your degree, or degrees, are only a small step in a much larger picture. Someone with tremendous ambition, great social skills, and tenacious drive will trump anyone who wields a wall of degrees and certificates but lacks the former. In many cases, where you went to school matters because it determines where you start off. The type of industry you get into matters as well - some professions are known for making money, whereas others are not. Also, many people with advanced degrees may not want to take certain high paying job because of the grueling hours, high stress, and the years it takes off your life, but some have no choice after raking up well over 100+k in debt throughout all of their schooling. Third, why are you doing this? Why do you want to be in school? Take some time off and think about it. Make some notes and a ranking system. Evaluate this list, and how it fits into your dreams and goals in life, especially with what you want to do as work. If you really want to, then you must find a way to keep you going. You have to maintain your focus, and you have to always have your goals in the forefront of your mind. I do agree (for my own reasons) with the poster who mentioned their regret about leaving education behind. I do not want to be 40, or 50, or 60 and wish I had this X degree. For example, I want to get a professional degree. I don't need one though. My colleagues at work tell me this, AS WELL AS my clients. My B.S. is enough, and the rest falls upon my experience, my skills, and my network. Furthermore, if I do go full time I lose out on a lot - opportunity costs from working, saving, investing and being productive, paying an exhorbant amount for a piece of paper to a school which is just another business, and in the end, you won't see a big spike in your pay. So why do I want it? To say I have it, and as extra insurance for myself. And I'll get it in a way where an employer fronts most of the cost while I go part time, because the debt is not worth it unless you have no choice. This is a serious issue. Most people do not think about it in a serious way. When you are young and naive you just go with the flow, and think that by going to school it means great job, great life, and the easy life. Most people get crushed when they graduate and either (A) have a hard time finding a job, or (B) get a job where it was not what they thought it was going to be like in terms of tasks, pay, etc. You really have to be proactive about this, unless you know plenty of the right people in which case you are set.

Hi, I agree with you, it is, and that's what I believe. The fact is that many people do live with their parents in this world around that age, and even later, and it is not a concern except for many Western nations where so much is placed on independence. My uncle was 30 when he married, and never moved out of his parents house until he was getting married. My father was 27 when he left home to get married. My cousin is not married, but in a serious relationship, and she is 32 - she never moved out on her own except for college, and then she returned home. I can go on and on with the list. Most of the people I know lived at home in their mid to late twenties. I don't think there is anything wrong with living at home, and when you first meet someone, you two are dating and not jumping into a serious relationship which will lead to marriage in the next few weeks/months. If someone cannot just date you because you live at home, then I am glad to know very early on. I lived at home for years after graduating college, and I openly told people where I lived when asked. I was never really questioned why, nor did I say why, but my reactions were mixed. Some girls who I dubbed "uptight" had a look of disdain on their face, where I get written off because I am not independent enough or successful enough. Most, in my experience, did not care, because we are just getting to know each other, and her interest in me is slightly more than am I independent enough to consider going to dinner with, or at least have a date with and get to know something about me, other than I don't live on my own (perhaps in time I'll explain why to her, as in after quite a few dates). I do this on purpose to see if a girl is actually interested in me beyond the initial - yes, I live at home (but don't say why) and yes I have a job (I don't offer too much of what I do). In time I reveal more of myself to someone. I'm not trying to play a mysterious game about this, but I am doing it to see if this other person has an actual interest in me beyond that I can provide for a marriage and family. Can we actually hang out together, and have a good time together. The reality for me (and most of the people I know who did this) is not to judge a book by its cover - I have a good job and I worked, saved, and invested my money for almost 3 years by living at home and I was able to purchase a residential complex as an investment with 50% equity, where my tenants pay my mortgage on that property, and they pay for most of the mortgage on the condo which I now call home. These are things about me which nobody needs to know about early on. I can understand where it is a concern if you are not doing something with your life and still live at home, but that wasn't the case for me or the people I know (guys and gilrs ) that did this. In the end we laughed at those who told us to move away from mommy and daddy and gain some independence, and there were many people who muttered this. I just kept my mouth closed and minded my own business - they clearly reached some judgment about me when I said I lived at home.

Hi, Trust me, most don't care. The ones that do are not worth your time - they seem to uptight this early on to get involved with. In fact, it's a great way to make girls laugh. When I lived at home to save some money for my own place (no I didn't pay for anything such as rent or food at home), I always asked girls if they've ever seen Failure to Launch, and I'd compare myself to that guy. Mind you I was 23 at the time, but I always bumped up my age to 35. All these girls knew I was joking, but I had no problem admiting I lived at home. Free food, free rent, free utilities, etc. The only thing which sucks is coming home with someone late at night when the house is sleeping...that gets a little high schoolish. I say who cares. Live at home - it's free and it rocks.

Hi, I am glad that the break up led to a lot of personal growth for you. Keep riding that great wave. Too many of times have I witnessed many of the similarities from your post in my life post break-up. Some of the girls I only dated for a few months but I began to really like her when things didn't work out. I went away and focused on me, while she did whatever she did. Fast forward X amount of months or years and we cross paths...she is itching to get back with me, but I don't want any of it. Keep it up.

Hi, This is great advice, and I think that it would be a good place for you to start. Supply Chain Management OR Marketing entail different career paths, different skill sets, and different day to day jobs. Furthermore, take marketing as an example. Marketing consists of sales, advertising, market research, brand/product management, among other paths. So even within your two choices you have more specific paths to focus on. Use Labo's advice, and try to narrow down your focus with a list first, then research some companies and re-evaluate your choice. When you interview, many places ask, "Why marketing?", "Why do you want to work for us?", etc. Good luck.

Hi, Good stuff, and this is exactly why I wouldn't want to associate myself with someone like this. So when adversity hits, do you run? Or do you face life on life's terms? Are you wo/man enough to date someone, possibly have a relationship with them, and perhaps have sex with them, but you are not wo/man enough to speak with them face to face about difficult situations? In cases of abuse I can see the appropriateness of leaving such a letter, but assuming that someone lost interest, doesn't want to be oglibated to someone at this time, wants to be single for a while, wants to date others, etc., basically, nothing which indicates abuse, then this is nothing but a cowards way out who shys away from difficult or awkward situations. I'm not saying that I enjoy being placed in a spot like this, but I am not going to run away or drop hints for the other person to just leave. Of course, anything is possible, but why would I want to be friends or associate myself with someone when I know what they are like? Especially when what they are like is not what I am like nor is it what I find attractive and look for in someone else?

Hi, 1. I commend you for admiting that you have a problem AND seeking out help. 2. Go to AA. Go tomorrow. I'm sure that the people in those rooms would tell you the how when and where, and you might make a contact or two who can help you. I used to work as a peer counselor at an adolescent treatment center, but saw the adults in detox on a regular basis. Many AA'ers would volunteer and make "house calls" to people requesting help. AA and their volunteers are a free service. Heck, you can look up their number tonight and give them a call. I'm pretty sure there is someone who would be willing to speak with you, and maybe even grab coffee with you this late. 3. Go to local hospitals/treatment centers. Look them up in a phone book or online if you need to. Some offer discounts, others payment plans, and some may even do pro bono work. Good luck to you.

Hi, However one so chooses to. I know of a girl who wrote a letter like that, and I know a couple of guys who were dumped by text/e-mail. One guy was dumped via a friend, i.e., his (ex)gf's friend told him that them two were no longer together. Call it what you will, but, to me that tells me everything I need to know about someone's character, and in the end, that's what matters most to me. Looks and personality are important, but someone's character is why I really would want to be with someone, be it platonic or romantic. Looks are on the outside, personality is their behavior and how they present themselves on the outside, but character is who they really are. If it happened to me I'd probably be fuming with many * * *'s, but hopefully I knew enough about a person and was able to form a good judgment about them before committing and placing myself in a situation like this in the end. Everyone in the dating world has their own agenda, and for the most part, it's free reign out their. I bet some people will find a "Dear John" letter to be perfectly acceptable.

Hi, Your welcome! Not sure what I exactly said, but glad you found something in my post of use. These are good suggestions. You have tons of resources. Use all of your avenues in your free/down time. Take care of your grades and responsibilities, but actively research. Also, I'd recommend speaking with someone who works in the field you are considering. I think most people (myself included) have a grandiose imagination of what a job will be like. Sadly, a vivid imagination spells disaster once you have been on the job for a while and you realize that it isn't the fairy tale you imagined. Others can slap you with a reality check. I'm not trying to be a debbie-downer with this, in fact, it's just the opposite. I've met way too many people who studied something and then couldn't wait to start to job, and then hated it. All of them never really knew what that job was like day to day, and the day to day "work" didn't quite mesh with what they planned/hoped for. It wasn't until I was in the real world that I realized what the purpose of "job shadowing" was back in high school. I thought it was justa great way to get out of school for a day .

Hi, I think this is fairly common. Not necessarilly the journalism part, but studying something for X amount of years and then wanting something else. I'm 25, have a job in the area I majored in, like it, but still speak with others in the office about what we want to do when we grow up. Most of us want to get into something else, or a niche within our industry. We're still young and narrowing down our interests, while making money and gaining experience. Keep in mind that school is not like work. There are many people who loved a major and then hated the career, and vice versa. You never know. Either way, just finish up your degree. Journalism is a soild major and you can spin it in so many different ways in most areas of work. More than likely you have solid research, analysis, and writing skills. These are a great foundation for so many different types of jobs. As an example, I work in finance and someone in my firm majored in cultural anthropology as an undergrad. I'm not sure how he spun that, but he is social, trilingual and studied at a top university outside of the U.S. I'm sure these other areas helped him out, but just keep in mind that you are not limited to what you majored in. I've met other people that work in a field completely different in what they studied, but the skills you learn along the way are transferable. I'm not too familair with journalism career paths, and I know some careers are tougher than others, but I do believe that if you want to be really successful in any area of work, then you'll need to make sacrifices and have a great deal of motivation. For most, success does not come very easily. Any expert in a certain field always cites how it was hard work that got them to where they are at now. I'd say keep up with your grades your final year, and start exploring things you are interested in or passionate about. Libraries and bookstores have many books on helping you narrow down things that are based off your skills and interests. It might be a good plaace to start. Good luck.

Hi, It depends how long you two have been together, but objectively, I don't think you are being needy. Perhaps you two used to spend a great deal of time together, or used to talk on the phone more often, but now school must split her time with you? That can be difficult to adjust to. I do agree with a previous poster that it can be a slippery slope. You two should discuss this if you havn't already. There is nothing wrong with you wanting to spend time with her. If that is something which she cannot provide to you right now, either you will have to accept it, or you might have to move on. I definitely think that it's something which can be worked out by communication and compromise, but it is a slippery slope if one of you isn't as flexible and understanding. Assuming she is taking school seriously, then her homework and grades will be important to her. This is something that you will have to realize and accept if you have not already, however, she should be willing to make time in her schedule for you. Perhaps weekends might be best? Or every other weekend? If she would rather spend time with her friends from school, or do other things on the weekend, then perhaps she is not ready to be as involved as she thought. Someone can be in school getting great grades and working part time and still make time for someone who matters to them, albeit maybe not too much time. I can see how her schedule can be pretty packed and she can have very little free time for you, but I can also see if you actually like to see and/or talk with someone that you are in a relationship with. You should not place your life on hold and just be patient while she graduates one day, unless of course this is something you two talk about and have an understanding about. Many couples do this, with some couples being states apart and rarely seeing each other. It's a tough test of a relationship, but I've seen it pulled off by a few people that I personally know. Just talk about it, especially since you have already posted on here - it's clearly on your mind. It's a slippery slope though, and I can see her being frustrated with you for not leaving her to her studies, but I can also see where you're coming from.

Hi, Well it looks like the hardest compatibility battles are done: But since you don't know her, I'd say make a connection and build a relationship first, but if you guys really hit it off on day 1 then why not?

I think this is a part of it. But it's as much your fault as it is his. He did not force his way into living with you for 3 years. I have lived with someone in the past as well, partially because it felt right, and partially because it was the next step. I think we fell victim to let's live together as another test for marriage. I think this "test" assumes lots of false logic, and allows couple to either (A) not want marriage because you pretty much have everything, or (B) break-up because you learn you are not as compatible you thought you were. False logic when psychology and common sense comes into play: As live together bf/gf these same issues arise as in marriage: But you are not married, instead you are bf/gf, which means: Among other things. The two blur when you are live in bf/gf, and there is no set of "rules" to follow. You have aspects of both bf/gf and marriage components, but you are not committed like you are in marriage. This would cause plenty of confusion and tension, regardless of what you want long-term. Yes you can communicate and work things out, but I think your psyche and approach would be different had you married first, then moved in together. If things are going "okay," then marriage is postponed or delayed by one person because they have everything they want. Thinking along the lines of "we are pretty much married - why bother making it official with a piece of paper and a party." Again, the psyche and approach in the thought process. 6 years is a long time without a proposal. I would have left a long time before then. I mean honestly, what needs to be sorted out still? I know right away if I think something will go somewhere with somone. A couple of months to determine if I really like them. And a good year to see if we are good together. The year after that would either reinforce us and lead me to proposing, or realize that were not as good as we thought we were and we go separate ways. I wouldn't need 6 years to determine that. 2 years give or take some months. But as my experience, if I move in with someone, I fall victim to "I already have everything I want." Many of my guy friends think alike as well. This was my fault for moving in - the thought process that ensues is almost natural for everyone else I know who lives with someone. This is not something I think about, but it is becoming an issue as many people live together as oppose to marry: at least you have legal recourse had you married and then things don't work out. Dating someone for many years expecting marriage one day, then it not working out, but having no legal recourse should financial matters and other things get messy is daunting. I would feel like I wasted half/full decade.

Women (and men) outside of my firm = I can't think of one that can reach 3. Women I work with...just about all of them can name many more than 3. True, but that doesn't make someone smart or knowledgeable. As long as you have at least a C- GPA and money, most schools will accept you. I've met dumb graduate students as well. That must be frustrating, but if it bugs you just do what you've been doing. Put them in their place, but not in a condescending way. I'm a guy and I do this plenty. People base things off a first impression, and what your conversations are like, how you dress, etc. I look like a kid and act non-professional outside of work, so naturally people assume that I am a freshman/sophmore in college. When they ask what college I go to I tell them what I do for work and they are shocked/maybe impressed. I don't think this is a pure gender issue. Most people (esp. in 20's)wouldn't know anything about open market operations, economic indicators, or how supply and demand works. Most business majors don't even understand economics. Ask someone who just finished a micro-econ class to explain the concept of elasticity. I doubt 50% can. I think lot's of it is due to personal interests and division of labor. People specialize in what they like or interests them.

So true Batya. It can be about money, prestige, a balanced life, or simply following through. Regardless of how you define it, to achieve it you need: 1. Perseverence 2. Grit 3. Determination 4. Drive 5. Motivation 6. Stick-to-ititiveness Some successful people have told me that smarts, luck, contacts, looks, charm, education, intuition and talent is less than 10% - sort of like icing on the cake. Perseverence and stick-to-ititiveness makes up the rest. Reinforces the old sayng I always heard as a kid: "You can do anything you set your mind to in life."

I think some is the key word. I do think that there are respectable people that frequent bars, however, they are far and few, and go for either a solitary drink after work with co-workers to chat, or because there is a certain occasion. Exactly why you would not find them too respectable. Someone who parties or "likes to have a good time" is not a good match for someone who abstains from drinking, especially when the reason for doing so is linked to pain of alcoholism close to home. No party is really at fault here - it's just a very big thing to not have in common. I wouldn't place myself in that certain situation either. I guess a lot depends on the definition and context. If I have a girl whos been drinking and chain smoking all night hawking me down from accross the bar, I am not turned on whatsoever. I'm pretty repelled, regardless of why she is partying. If the girl isn't drinking in a bar (I have met them too), I am more interested, for the main reason as: a bar is a place to drink and be social, not just a place to be social. The two go hand in hand, and it is rare to see someone that frequents bars to just socialize and drink coke. Again, this assumes that you do not drink, thereforeeee, you feel somewhat...out of place in a bar. Avoid the bars if that's not your thing. Go if you have a good reason to, but other than that just stay away. There are plenty of people who do not drink or go to bars. Search out that circle.

Hi bud, One of the smartest colleagues in my firm took level 1 three times before passing. Among my clients, I have people that just found out that they failed level 2 for the second time (one guy took level 2 five times before he passed and today he's a portfolio manager). Today over lunch, a friend who just failed level 2 last June is considering dropping the program. She thinks law school would be easier, because you at least have summer months off. These exams are brutally tough. They appear simple. But the fact is, since 1963, roughly 70,000 people in the world have been awarded the right to use the letters. That's less than any other common professional title. Do not mention the exam whatsoever as a prospective candidate. All you need to say is "I am a CFA Level 1 candidate." You are simply omitting the fact that you failed it the first time around. And trust me, once you're in the industry, most will not care if/when you fail - it's actually pretty common, even for those quant guys graduating from Ivy.