ltensail

Thanks..Like you said, i'm trying mix with ppl i don't know.. Going out with my friends' friends..

Thanks.. After southerngirl gave me those links, i oso google-search myself.. Quite sure it's social phobia.. But the root problem still should be lack of self-esteem.

Ah Thanks alot southerngirl

Serious huh? All 3 said it's a medical condition. I really thought it's due to shyness. Coz everytime i get shy, my ears, forehead and neck get hot and perspires. I'll tell my parents about it.

I'm 17m but recently found out that i will perspire noticbly when talking to strangers. After around 5 mins talk with a stubborn salesperson at my doorstep, drips of sweats roll down my cheeks...very obvious! After witnessing that, the salesperson even commented the weather is hot..but he wasn't sweating. And I also became a member in a gameshop..I've been there and bought games frequently, shopowners are friendly. Each trip there is like 2-3min in the shop..Everytime i got out, forehead, forearm, back and lower leg were sweaty. That place is air-conditioned. In fact, the whole shopping mall is. I only started to perspire when i enter the shop and interact with the ppl there. It's very embarrassing. Can anyone help me? Is this due to lack of selfesteem? I'm shy-natured btw... Really afraid that would jeopardize my love life.

Can i know how often you guys chat on phone/text message with girls? For me, i've not done that since 4-5 years ago. Not even with close male friends of mine. i seldom start conversation to maintain relationships whether it's on phone or msn messenger nor do i ask friends to go out for the accompaniment (usually just to get my things like swimming, weightlift, buy things and stuffs done and go home). most of the time, i'll listen to mp3player instead of joining in the conversation with friends on train. yes, i don't care about having strong relationships. but i enjoy having peace with myself this way. i like my introvert nature this way especially when i'm at home. but i don't like it when i see outgoing friends going along well with girls. i have a strong urge to change my introvert attitude when i see this. i'm jealous i think. oh..all the "friends" mentioned are male. they can converse with girls, play around, tease and do some intimate/touchy stuffs. No, i'm not saying i can't get close to them. i know how to. but when i get close enough, i'll "turn off" my relationship-maintaining skills because it's a conscious thingy and isn't natural to me. i'll get tired. lmao. serious. hey, seriously i can choose to live a lonely life (not marrying). maybe find sex when i need it..'cause i don't think i'll treat my wife good enough like not giving enough attention blah blah.. i think i have been seeing all humans as robots, predicting all their reactions and it all became so bored to socialize....

my age is below 25. yeah, i always feel that i don't wanna lose her but on the other hand, don't wanna become bf and gf. i don't why and i'm starting to feel guilty because of breaking their hearts.

I've been through 2 love relationships. I like the feeling of courting a girl but not becoming bf and gf. Sometimes, after i'm sure the girl likes me(e.g. by telling me) and that she is willing to be my gf, my love towards her will decrease. Somehow, I know it. I'd stop doing romantic things for her, not trying to commit to the relationship or even "repel" her. However, sometimes we will be bf and gf but we don't last long. Could someone explain why is this happening to me? I don't even know what's happening in me. I've read books concerning Personal Well-Being and think that I'm a romantic perfectionist. I'm not very sure though. Could some relationship expert help me? I can never go into a close relationship.

method of attraction? oh, they are just some general way to flirt. (eye contact, smile etc) so the flirting method can work potential mates and attracting friends right?

When attempting to attract a mate OR a friend of the opposite sex, does the method of attraction work for both?

When flirting, should the guys wait for the girls to initiate contacts before the guys do anything touchy?

Bleeder: She told me she is interested in me herself and when she gave me those monosyllabic answer, she didn't make an effort to talk about something but also, she did not seem uninterested in replying my questions. Though, sometimes she keeps escaping my eyes. It's only when we are alone, then she will try to think of something to say because she don't like silence. But when we are not alone, she will prefer talking to others or even prefer to keep quiet rather than talking to me.

in fact, she is more sociable than me. She actually does talk alot to other boys and of course girls. But she seldom tries to start a conversation with me. I'll feel very sad when I see her hitting off so well with other boys but not me. So if she is really shy, how can i remove her shyness when talking to me? I smiled alot but it didn't seems to help.

there is this girl who said she is interested in me but whenever i try my best to start a conversation with her( i've tried very hard to think of open-ended questions ), she will give me one-word answer, most of the time she will say don't know. Is she shy? or is she uninterested in me? how can i find out?

i have a friend who is so negative in her view. She believes in horoscope and she is a cancerian. She told me cancerians are very negative(esp. when she compare herself to her friends, weak subjects, her personalities, her looks) and thus totally believes that she is really lousy than anyone she knows. i know she want to change, because she told me there's no one who can change her. thus, i think she is waiting for someone to change her. what can i do?

Thanks everybody esp. Mahlina. I like the last paragraph. I'm really have no worries how our relationship will become. Thanks so much!

help?

when a guy is *dating the girl, what should the guy talk about with her and what not in order to make the girl like the guy? other than chatting, what are other essential stuffs? *dating not only include coming out. it also include online chatting, coincidentally met each other in school(quite frequently)and phone.

You said good friends need to be achieved over time right? How long does it usually takes to get a good friend? Is a month or so too short? because I got to know a good friend in just about 3 weeks' time. I'm quite surprised. All I did was providing help in her love relationship. She was very shy at first, not trusting me and in the end, didn't told me alot of stuffs. However, after a week, I don't know why or how, she sort of become very comfortable with me and told me all her problems. She told me I'm the second best male friend who she can trust. Then she, in turn, provided me help too. Yea, I like the feeling that I'm included. So i wanna make more close friends who I can trust completely. And I think just by providing help to friends won't do the job. There must be some other things that I made them trust me, and in the end, become close to me. Even if, for my case, she don't want to tell me anyone, I can't possibly helped her right? Does anyone know what's the key factors to get someone to open up and feel comfortable with me?

Everyone knows that good friends share secrets, comfortable being around with them etc. It's just a good thing to have a good friend. Assuming I met a friend in the school, she/he has personalities that I'm quite attracted to. So how can I become good friends with him/her other than trying to make him/her feel comfortable with me by joking and chatting? I really appreciates your advices.

how can i brighten up one's day when he/she feels so dead/bored?

That's too lttile to tell your probabilties. But i can say that she is interested in you. That's all.

so, after all these, the girl has cooled down, will it still be a bad impression in the relationship?

Hey, you still remember I'm the one who has been liking a girl for 4 months.^^ ya, honestly, the girl i'm talking about is still the one who I have been liking for 4 months. Your advice given is kinda like, "fine, u don't tell me? I don't care about you" Yours is to go the manly way but has a risk and that is what is the girl also don't care? this will make her more angry and then both of us will go into a "cold war" right? Oceaneyes's advice is like, "I didn't mean to do something harmful to you." Hers is to go a sticking-to-her-like-a-child way. Both have their pros and cons. So what should i do?

so oceaneyes, you are using this sentence-"just tell me if I do something that makes you angry so I can stop it, you're important to me" to know what exactly is the guy's mistake? and when do we know that the girl has cooled down?