SooSad33

My first ex was like this. I did everything around the house, with the kids etc. HE, as a father, should be giving his little one some attention, AND his wife! You should explain to him that you'd like some real 'down time' with him now and then. A few days a week where there is NO interference. ( No gaming), but some attention towards you when the little one's in bed. Maybe some tv & cuddle time. etc. Do you guys go on 'date nights'? Anyone who can help with the little one on occasion? So you two can get out for a meal & some peace & quiet? This may help as well 🙂 . YOU are the primary caregiver here. You have that 'sense' to want to tend to your child, as women have that 'nurturing' aspect.. But, does not mean dad has to be so negligent. Dad sometimes should be stepping up and give some time & focus to his 'loved ones' as well. I'm also wondering if he feels a little out of place? Maybe he's not sure how to do this? As you mentioned, you've been married only a couple of years. It may be new and a little overwhelming to him sometimes.. so he's trying to 'adjust'. So, be nice on your approach... give it some time, see IF he changes and improves. But, he does need to be aware of YOUR situation & feelings. Good luck.

Nah, it's not lame. It's normal to have issue's in every aspect within relationships.. thing is, can it be worked out... Yes, communication is a necessity, as mentioned. So, try and have a heart to heart about this. Is something setting you off, preventing you from being more aggressive, as she wants it? Then, she should be made aware of that. Maybe it's her approach, maybe it's her rejection, maybe it's her behaviour. And yes, its normal for people to not want it sometimes, as per not being 'in the mood', for reasons ( stress, too tired, etc). But, it should still exist. So, are you saying her rejection upsets you now, to the point you don't even want to go there anymore? is she decent towards you otherwise the rest of the time? if this is the only issue, then that may be on you, as it's your response to this 'rejection'. No, we won't always get what we want. Like I said, as long as you do get it now and then, should be okay.

Sounds like you're trauma bonded, sadly 😕 . So, you NEED to work up that inner strength and get away from her and her abusive tactics. No one deserves this - and I think you both know this! You cannot 'make her better'. Only she can, by reaching out for some professional help. She should be talking to her doctor, maybe get assessed, medicated/ therapy etc. I know, you feel for her & dont want to see her struggling, but this is how it is. Some can hit a real low. But, as you said, her abuse was happening before she seemed depressed? She wants you to stay so she can keep at you. She's got issues! But, you're allowing it, by remaining there with her. Is best you plan on setting a date to leave- go stay with friends until you get your own place, etc. And you TELL her you are done with all of this.. And truly be done. If she contacts you & threatens self harm etc, you call police and ask for a wellness check on her.. but this is all on her, sadly. She can't treat you like this, the abuse & threats.. no more!

Yeah.. that's a no! So, she doesn't trust you and she's very controlling. Nope, no one tells me who my friends can or can't be! -- add on no respect! Whollay heck! Like a spoiled brat! WHY you tolerate any of this.. I have no idea. So she can act so inapproprietly, but you can't.. lol, wow! This whatever it is, has only been going on for a year. you haven't invested 10 or 20 yrs into her. You do realize she's a sad mess, right? You cannot 'fix' her. This is up to her, but there's so much damage happening, she's got a longgg way to go before she'd have anything successful 😕 . She is Toxic! Meaning she is NOT good for you. YOU need to realize this on your own. All this is going to do is run you down. She will drag you down to where you can't think for yourself and can't have an actual real life & be happy. She's miserable and will make you the same way. Best thing for you is to get out of this.. and get away.. far, far away! For your own well-being. ( We live & we learn), about those that are bad for us, we learn our strengths and we learn about our own 'self respect'.

Okay.... and they know of HER behaviour.. and do nothing? 😕 Someone like this needs to frikin grow up! Seriously! She's a troublemaker? Remove her. Is your super/friend going to do something about her - or ignore?

Why don't YOU speak up in support, especially if you're aware of all of this going on? Management should be acting on this if SHE is constantly causing problems! if they don't I'd consider another workplace. No one should feel so unsettled, like walking on eggshells around other workers, having to go different routes, etc. She needs to be dealt with.

I'd consider this a form of workplace bullying - VERY immature! 😕 , so this is on her! I suggest you find another job, this is no way to have to live.. someone causing you stress, anxiety, etc. And as for your employer, maybe write a letter for when you leave. Give it to them on your last day and explain how it had continued with her to the point you couldn't take her behaviour/actions around you anymore. It'd be smart of them to keep an eye on her.. or remove her from that workplace!

Yeah, is maybe best to leave all alone until she returns. if she's out on vacay and is being put into a tough spot by you, this could cause some resentment, as there's no way to fix this issue at all while she's away & being active. Can you maybe try & NOT be in her face with concerns and get out and do your own thing? She;s out there, having some fun, why don't you as well? Go hang with some friends, be active, etc. Deal with this when she's back.

Maybe you aren't quite 'ready' for dating ... and this guy's situation is maybe putting you off even more? Not sure why you can't see yourself as interesting? Is very common to be nervous about that 'first meet/date'. So, expect that much. Give it 10 minutes, see if you can breathe by then? lol As for wondering IF they're 'right for you', you can't tell much in the first meet, lol. I say at least go meet him, see how the vibe is.

I found this a little much. ( who says 'I missed you' after one meet?) 😕 . This, among other weird things would bother me. I say leave him be . He's a little unsettling imo. He's not over his last LTR and they've still go issue's, if I'm correct. ( In ways, I expected him to lay heavily on you for backing out- due to his recent BU after effects). So, is maybe best to just accept as is and move on.. Good on you to pick up on factors about his past, his ex, etc. And as mentioned - good advice on being safe by not disclosing your actual location. Get to know them a little better first. I remember meeting some guy who seemed to have a wild side and wanted to meet at odd hours and just didn't sit right with me - he had some mental health issue's, I became aware of after about 6 weeks, and his behaviour ended up really setting me off 😕 .... I stopped dealing with him and refused to continue, realizing then that I was glad he never knew where I lived! lol. We live, we learn.. just tread carefully and watch them for a bit. you want someone in your life who is decent, settled and some actual 'good vibes'. 😉 Take your time.

I agree to stay where you are. As it already failed between you two, when he broke it off with you - too much stress & strain on you... Also, the fact that you again agreed to follow & assist in another of his 'jobs' - wondering again.. should it fail. yup, limit yourself and take it all slowly. For your own well-being.

I'm wondering if now that's he's with you ALL the time, he's more 'comfortable' so feels okay to grab the phone and have some 'down time' that way. Do you guys have a tv in your bedroom? If so, how about you agree to watch a cpl shows before sleep instead? Then it can kind of 'occupy' his busy mind in a good way - as I do each night. I watch a favourite comedy before I doze off = better frame of mind. 🙂 ( and I never have my phone up in my face in bed unless I get an important notification- which is hardly ever).

I say she's the same way atm, struggling with her own inner battles 😕 . Yup, focus on YOU now, deal with the necessary 'legal battles' and aim at moving on with your life. You know her choice and need to accept... so, expect no more. Welcome back home (BC). Good luck!

IMO, I'd let it go and expect nothing from him in this. ( As for him spending most of the week with you, I hope he shares in expenses to some extent). I feel he's 'comfortable' remaining at home with his parents - maybe due to fear, or like his supportive back up should this fail - who knows? If this is how he's going to be, then that's on him. And yah, maybe if he;s not ready by now, he never will be 😕 . Another thing I'm wondering, is IF you've been at him too much about this, it may be pushing him away a bit. But, the way I see it, is, either shape up or ship out 😉 .

Like why? That's an odd request isn't it? lol No, you inform him this is for your own self. You want to go to it on your own.. no explanation necessary.. Is hard enough when everyone has the need to be around when you're delivering a baby! 😕 , lol Respect . As mentioned he IS a controlling abuser! Fps.. end this with him!! 😕 Be strong- for yourself.

I feel your mom is kind of 'controlling & critical' on you. She has yet to realize YOU are now an adult! And she has no right to speak to you the way she does, but now you are coming to realize this. So what if you like a specific dress. If you like it, get it! No matter what she says. 😉 . It's maybe time YOU cut the strings here. Hang with her less as her 'opinion' no longer matters. As I said, you're an adult, You owe mom nothing and deserve some respect! Exactly. Her behaviour is Toxic 😕 . Not good for you. Be strong, back off and live your life away from this.

Well, if she did this 'in fear', it's a fear of losing you? Fearing, knowing she wants one thing more, where she feels you want the other option ( move?)? What you two NEED to do is 'Talk'. Communication IS always necessary in a healthy relationship. IMO, if she just feared you leaving because she favours a different city, I do feel this can be worked out.

IMO, yes you are an 'overthinker' 😉 . It was a party, of course he's going to go engage with his other friends as well, so let that go! IF he is truly interested, he'll let you know, one way or another. Eg. make comments on your post if on FB, or just reach out & talk to you more. How well do you know him? From school, work?

I understand guys love to 'look' and could just say to try and not look at this as much of a big deal, except the fact that it's your neighbour! 😕 . I know I had a few neighbours over the years and I would be creeped out if I knew a neighbour had any pics of me like that! I see you posted before on 'Insecurities'... and Wiseman said " How long have you been dating? Do you live together? How old is he? Please ask him to stop taunting you about threesomes. Yeah, if you've got all of this going on after just 6 months, this is no good at all! He's not your type, he sounds more like a sex fanatic 😕 . Nope, get out of there.

And you are finding them awkward & leading to.. nothing. Maybe you just need to take some down time. Focus on YOU for a while & get yourself back to good. Finding a bf should not be a chore. Nor should it be like hiring help 😉 . ( And like Jaunty mentioned, your ex is an idiot anyways -- so, no loss). You shouldn't feel like this, imo. So, maybe you just need a break and focus on other things. Get out and hang with friends, take a trip, get a hobby, get active, etc. Nothing wrong with be single. Enjoy your freedom! If or when you meet someone again, it should be refreshing and you should feel a good 'vibe'.

Oh, beginning a new life at 27 can be done 😉 . I feel your trust in him is challenged. sorry you're being hurt like this 😕 . BUT, he's crossed the lines repeatedly, even AFTER you spoke to him. so, it shows, he seems to find her appealing and is reaching out for some friendly support, etc. If things between you two have begun to crumble, not a lot you can do, than consider asking him to go find someplace else to live for now? ( as you said, you have the dogs and your work there...).

Geeze 😕 .. sounds like he's jealous and not 'over it' yet. When did YOU come along in all of this? Was it soon, after they split? ( let me guess.. she ended it?), lol. ( Often the dumpee takes a lot longer to be accepting & over the BU). There's way too many red flags in your whole post -- WHY are you okay with any of this?

Yup, I agree with above. I'd like to know in time, if I was out there with the interest of dating/ finding a bf. I'd get the hint he's interested if he asked me out a few times... by then I would suspect his interest is in ME and not 'other women'. So, the way I see this, is it's fine.. for now. But maybe not for a long time of it. Because women do often get emotionally invested way before a guy does. So, take this into account, before one may come to be upset with you because she felt you just used her or 'led her on'.. to nothing. 😉 Otherwise, yes, of course, you're still getting the feel here.. the vibe and seeing which one does something good for you and you feel a 'good connection', etc.

Oh wow 😞 . Yeah, I'm in the red zone as well. I remember, about 3 nights ago, I was walkin my lil doggo and saw the haze in the sky and the moon looked so weird! So, I was aware then of smoke in the airs around here. But, I didn't really feel it until yesterday. Hopefully, all is better after tomorrow. And hoping most of these fires get under control.

Yeah, the last couple of days have been rough and expecting it until at least tomorrow. Half of the day yesterday was awful :/ . Was quite unexpected - and so alarming! I was first aware of the going's on out west ( Alberta), next thing I knew, I was hearing about it around here. Wow. A friend shared a link called Firesmoke.ca. I'm following that now. I do hope most of this is able to get under control soon.