JosephineMarie

Not really, I wfh so anytime he is home, I am too. other than the rare occasion where I run a errand of mine on his off day and he stays home (but that's only for a bit tbh) It's social. I would definitely feel a lil different if it was a book, but I'd still want to connect

for example, last night we came home from an entire day of doing errands. I snapped at him earlier that day and was going to try and apologize, and for the other occasions as well. We showered together and he climbed into bed. I went right after him. And the very first thing (the usual) he did, was grab his phone and start scrolling. For about 5 seconds he put his phone down and we cuddled. Then he picked it right back up. then he told me, with his back turned towards me "ugh I don't know what to do." I said "what do you mean?" "I feel like all I do is important adult things. (???) I just want to distract myself for a little bit." I was hurt. I was sitting right next to him and he still wanted a distraction. He continued to scroll and I said nothing. I closed my eyes to meditate but couldn't focus because he was playing video after video on his phone. After a while I got up to meditate in the living room. When I got back he was dead asleep. He kissed me goodnight and we fell asleep. And that's how most nights are lately... We will talk up and down everywhere else but as soon as we hit the bed, I feel like I lose him... I've tried to implement a no phone in bed policy but 1. It didn't stick. And 2. I just feel like a control freak.

Continuation to my last post but: this is often times a big reason for my frustration. Before we moved in together, my now husband was so respectful about not being stuck on his phone while we were spending time together.. I almost started to think he didn't have social media, much less a phone addiction and it was so refreshing. well fast forward 8 months later, we are now living together and I was in for a rather rude awakening. I don't want to dehumanize him because jeez he is only human, and I think all humans to some extent are addicted to their phones nowadays, and it isn't like he deliberately ignores me. But it does irk me that he started to show this behavior after we moved in... and it's resulted to be one of my biggest turn offs about him. i want to be clear, this doesn't take away from our intimacy or anything but it's just something that I didn't know about him AT ALL until we started living together. I didn't know he could spend hours upon hours consuming media and not have any real hobbies outside of it... it often saddens me because I feel like I was blindsided and now that I see this, I just have to tolerate it because he's my husband. I know we probably are just different in this sense but, I would rather sit and talk to my partner in bed, I don't think about grabbing my phone the first thing. Except that's what I've been doing because he's already on his phone and it just completely ruins any chance of connecting...

I'm not saying we have to go out every day of the week. Of course that is unrealistic, and if you go back to the end of my post I specifically mentioned being too tired to do anything at the end of the work day, so that wouldn't even be feasible.. I do miss when we would go out to see each other. Which happened once or twice a week bc we had jobs and a life outside of us.

We both work full-time. I work from home and he gets home around 9 pm everyday. things were a lot different when we lived separately because we had to go out to see each other. We planned day dates, we did weekend trips, we went to the movies, the park, dancing clubs, you name it. We did it. But we did because we had to see each other. And now that we live together, I feel we still want to do those things but I feel like since we already see each other, we reached a level of comfort where it's not as necessary to go out, because we are already living together. It makes me a bit sad.. We haven't done things because we needed (and need) to save up money and use our time to further our career. So temporarily we are going to be in this space where we can't do much exciting things outside of our home, and I know it's going to take a toll. So I think a conversation is needed to be had about that. work is very stressful although I work from home, it is mentally exhausting. I often times wish I just didn't have to work.. I feel that would make me very happy because work does take up a huge part of my day and by the evening I am so tired and have no energy to do anything that refills/energizes me. I'm sure that has taken a toll on my emotional stability too.

My husband and I have been married a month, we've been together for a year and a half. We moved in together 8 months ago. I know he loves me and truly gives his all to me. Yet, I still find myself extremely moody, and upset at the smallest things. I can be full of contempt at times due to built up resentment over small things, for example when he doesn't keep his word about us splitting a bill... I can't tell if this is just who I am but any little thing he does seem to trigger me. I also find that I am often times unkind and lose my patience with him. I hate this because deep down I don't want to be this type of person. In past relationships, I was never purposely unkind. Sometimes I am condescending too. We are never verbally abusive but I do get upset at him a lot. He hardly does anything to upset me though. He is always trying hard to make sure I am a as happy as can be. I'm not sure if maybe I'm just not used to living with another person yet (but it's been 8 months???) or we are just not as compatible as (we) thought, or if I am just extremely intolerant. OR generally unhappy within myself (which is highly true atm) It's so frustrating because I'm exhausted, and I know he gets exhausted too. He knows right away when I "turnoff" because my facial expression and body language changes. He will ask me what's wrong, I will let him know and we talk about it and make up. We always do this. Rinse, and repeat. for example last night I got upset (and this often happens) because when we're in bed, he will usually just be on his phone. often times he will cuddle me, but only for like 5 seconds, before he's back on his phone again. I hate that. I've talked to him about it and he says we'll do better but it doesn't seem like it because it feels the same. I also don't know why this bothers me so much. He doesn't deliberately ignore me. I guess I just really wish we talked more, and for longer periods of time. I've also noticed that he isn't as patient towards me as he (was) or used to be. I've noticed him being a little less patient if he has to repeat something or explain something to me, which wasn't like that. he still is still patient but I have noticed it's a bit less than before. I don't blame him though. He is probably exhausted. I wish we could just hit a reset. I always apologize for snapping at him and we always make up but I do feel generally very unhappy atm at where my life's going, what my daily routine is, and the fact that I haven't had a vacation off in years. We hardly go out, or do anything exciting, and in my personal life it's the same. I desperately want a change but I don't know what it's gonna take for me to get out of this rut I feel like I am in. I feel like an emotional train wreck most days. My emotions feel so extreme - extremely high and extremely low. I don't know what could be the cause of this and I don't know what to do because I feel like I am unintentionally harming my partner. I fear he will get the impression that nothing he does will be enough, and that hurts me because deep down, I don't know if it's not true.. I think being at my mom's house definitely takes a toll on me as she is just always nagging at me for something. I feel like I can't ever please her. I know she is deeply unhappy within herself as well as she is divorced. We are moving into our own apartment towards the end of the month, so maybe that will help my emotional well-being a bit, and in turn help me be more regulated in the relationship and kinder towards my partner.