SooSad33

He sounds overly paranoid & unsettled for some reason 😕 . Were you not aware of how he has his place ( all locked), before you moved in? Plus, if I were to move in with my 'partner', I'd expect to share the same bedroom. And just to add, the odd behaviour ( camera's inside) & meltdowns. Not okay. We live, we learn.? I'm wonderin WHY you'd agree to move in, knowing of all of the falls over the last few years and his 'mental state'. Were there any signs? I don't know what to say to this except, yeah, get out of there! Can you room with a friend/ family?

Well, this says plenty 😕 . He's not relationship material and won't be settling down for a good while yet. Keep your self respect and distance. Don't expect much.

Well, by sounds of it you were his rebound .. and yeah, they hurt 😕 . In the end you both get hurt as he's still reeling about his last relationship and then gets into another way too quickly, when clearly he is NOT ready to yet. So he love bombs you until he can't do the lie anymore. Yup, real low - and portrays his feelings for his ex onto you. So none of it is natural. he faked it as long as he could. Loser 😕 . Once you get over all of this, you will answer your own question: You do nothing now. You work through your emotions and soon enough, you will realize you do NOT want him back!

I will assume you frequent the clubs because online porn just isn't enough? So, some real-life interaction? Great on your job! So, that's a bonus 🙂 . As for relationships - we just never know. I haven't been involved in about 4 years and am okay with that. I continue my life doing my own things and do what I want! 😉 . I am not lonely and all okay. The thing is, we never know! you may come to meet up with a decent neighbour or someone who gives you a second glance at a coffee shop or grocery store. That may be a sign, you've gotten someone's attention and you weren't even trying! lol So, carry on as you are. Stop 'trying' and just let it happen. As long as you feel okay with yourself , smile , it's contagious 🙂 .

Ghosted? Good, now walk away. Seeing what you have should open your eyes! I have a delusional ex and they are weird 😕 . As for his 'excuses' on why did what he did ( worried about them,), Not! He knew very well what he was doing.. possibly stalking the woman. And NO excuse for it! Stop all interactions and realize this is YOUR way out . This headline alone, screams run! 😕 finding somone has a criminal record, mental illness

Yeah, anxiety is never good! 😉 , lol. So what.. 7 hrs to respond. Try not to over look that too much - we never know what's going on at their end. ( like you said, she wasn't feeling very well) 😕 . And sometimes, people think they replied when they didn't , or just forgot totally to respond back, etc. Or, things could be 'settling down' more atm, so she doesn't feel the need to keep up so sharply as she has been = comfort mode. .. Who knows? But, you'll see in time.

Exactly. is too much, as you realize, this isn't normal. One doesn't just chat it up continously. But, are you going to find out IF she's into you this way? You're talking now like it's a no. Yup- no more kinky pics! .. Again, is not something just a 'friend' would do.. unless with intent 😉 . Space now, for sure.. If it's supposed to be a basic friendship.

Yup, I get it. So, sounds like she may be warming up slowly. And good on you for taking it slow with her. But, you see her again this weekend? I think this is when you need to know how she feels for you. IF she's really into you this way or not. If not, she should stop 'leading you on'. If she doesn't respond to you in the same way soon enough, I'd back off with any expectations.. AND, Are talking in refrerence to yourself here? That you maybe should not cross that line? because, yeah, it can happen.. BUT, my gawd, you two have shared meals, a lot of chat time & her pics, lol. I will add, this is often why guys n gals don't mix well when it comes to a 'true friendship'. It often happens that one fancies the other a little too much - which affects that friendship, things get messed up & it's done 😕 . Either way, is time you know IF or what this is. Aim for that this weekend.

Yeah, try not to make things so difficult. You're meeting up for lunch ' on friendly terms'. Leave it at that. YOU have a few plans on that weekend. Accept with a smile & say See ya there! That's it. Go and enjoy your lunch with him. No more expectations.

You can very well risk losing your friendship, should this build into a true involvement- but is a risk we sometimes take 😉 . I agree, a normal type friendship, one doesn't talk to them for hours on end. How well do you know her? Is she recently out of a relationship maybe and is using you as an emotional pillow? Or has she been single for a good while? The fact is, is you only know her in this sense. Just chatting. Nothing has gone beyond this ( except for a shared photo - and a meal?). I say, if you're going there again this weekend, maybe at least work on getting closer & see IF she reciprocates. It's nice that you two have gotten to know each other well enough on this level.. but can it continue to evolve in a positive?

Well, I know you're right into this woman ( I forget how long you've been involved). But, sometimes, some things do make it all too much & too awkward to truly feel 'comfortable'. And this fact of her being like a germaphobe is an issue. I guess you're just trying to figure out IF this is worth moving ahead or is it too challenging to where, eventually it will come to an end because you two are just too different.. right? Do you at all see her as somewhat of a 'higher power'? Do you feel small & compare yourself to her ? I just see some things as red flags, yes. Where you live it your way and she's opposite re: cleanliness. Yes, I see this an issue. You maybe never truly feel okay. One cannot live comfortably knowing someone is sitting there thinking of the worst things 😕 . This woman, on her first visit had a lot of judgement, of course. But you knew to expect it. Because you know how she is. Myself in this situation, I wouldn't waste my time, honestly. I will not change myself or my ways for anyone. You're either okay and mesh well with me or you don't. If we're not 'compatible', then I won't waste my time. yup, been there and have learned over my years to catch on quite fast 😉 . This is an experience for you.. and you're learning. Usually if a couple ends things, I think it'll happen within the first year. In that time they'll come to learn their differences and how the other person really is. You're a man. And men often are attracted to a woman by looks first, then maybe their strengths. etc. But, a man can usually pick up soon enough her negatives and decide IF he can handle it or not. So, now that she's been there and you were kind of 'put off' by her reactions & comments, it got to sit with you for a bit and I get it, you were set off, of course. I will add, this reminds me of a character on Frasier ( Niles), who was a germaphobe through much of the show. Eventually Niles did have a short term relationship with another of his kind, but it ended because although they had that in common, that was the only thing they had, he did not love her. And I think in time, his phobia kind of eased off, as we saw it less often, but fact remains in your own 'real world', this is how your woman rolls 😉 . Hmm yeah, now what? Now you try and weight the odds. Positives and negatives. Can you truly see this working out in the long run? Or is there just too many challenges for YOU to feel comfortable and truly happy with her around.

ALL of this going on for all of you has been a big transition and it's not always that easy. From break up of a relationship ( and divorce) .... to getting into a new relationship and letting that build - to something positive .... to moving in together ( w/ kids) . For sure, expect a little tension for all. But it's great that you two do get along so well 🙂 . I'm wondering if his reaction could just be that his mom's comment was something he did NOT want to hear. he has clearly moved on and is with you - and by sounds of it, happily. IMO, I would not worry about what his mom's saying. It is NOT her relationship! She should keep shut. ( If you think about it, his parents have also had to re adjust to all of this - and they had his ex & the kids as 'one happy family , for a good amount of years - so that also takes a bit of time). So, maybe let this all cool down and maybe consider leaving it all alone. No matter what their 'past' was all about, it's done now.. right? He's moved on and you admit it all seems fine! 🙂 . So, you two have been involved a couple of years - and moved in maybe 1.5 yrs after it began? Well how I see this, is if you two are truly happy in this, then move onward & upward 😉 . And do try to ignore all his mom has to say... the pressures of those outside your relationship ( like mom) is a negative, and you don't want him being brought down too much.

The ex is there? ( still in the picture?). IF, in any way he may be 'comparing you', it may be then, because hes not over all of that. IF you are doing this - not a good thing to do. Their relationship was messed up- obviously . I will admit, one time, for a little while, I let my hair grow & grow ( because my ex was seeing someone who had long hair- BUT, I finally stopped all that! I thought, to heck with this & started looking at some decent hair cuts and just did it all for me . ). So, don't do that kind of thing.. It's just gonna wear you down. And how do you see yourself 'controlling'? Yah, this is concerning - physically sick 😕 . It just sounds like YOU are not ready to be dating. All over some guy you've only been dating 3 mos. Then maybe it's just best to NOT be involved.. not yet. Not until you DO feel more yourself. No relationship should be making someone feel like this .

Yah, I just see more red flags 😕 He had a LTR, which ended roughly 2 yrs ago.. then a bunch of flings? Most probably because he's not dealt with any of that properly or even taken a break. Instead is out there using woman after woman 😕 . I suggest you sit back and watch this carefully. In ways, I can see something negative happening in the next 3 mos. Maybe because he can't keep a long term relationship afloat & may pull away at any time. I also wonder the effects of the LTR ending. Like did he fall into a depression? Abused etc.. or did it just die out and both parted ways respectfully?

Ahh yeah.. stay away! Someone in his position is in no way okay to get involved again. Not freshly divorced. If things between them aren't all cleared up yet, you'd be a rebound - and they are not nice 😕 . Plus, he began to distance himself since you stopped him from becoming too friendly - and he may had some offence to that , bruised ego 😉 .. Oh well. Move along and tread carefully w/ guys like this. Don't end up letting yourself be used as they struggle to work through the ending of their relationship.

Ohh, not good 😕 . How long ago were they a thing before you came along? By sounds of it, this is kinda new with him. ( 3 mos?). In ways i can see you being an little anxious - but do you know what exactly is causing it? You say he's pretty cool & decent. you just want it all to be okay - but yah, something like this may end up causing some issue's. Because, as he's coasting along great and all, you're sitting back all tensed up 😕 .

So you were basically buying her love - or at least trying to. And see, even that didn't work! I highly suggest YOU get a grip next time you get involved, like wth are you doing signing for a lease on a home with someone you've only been dating a year? Geeze. I dated a guy 5 yrs and never did i inquire a thing about his finances nor did he let me use his credit card, etc. It shows just how emotionally spent you are still, from your last relationship. Was not a good idea to get involved again. And I have a feeling you just gave into anything & bent over backwards for this one in order to try and 'keep her'. Just don't. The right one will not use you and you will come to see IF you're truly compatible. And whats with the 'mistakes & sins'? Buddy, you're hurting in so many ways 😕 . Might I suggest you just take a good break away from dating... and focus on YOU and get yourself more healed than this. You've let your last experience bleed into this relationship - sooo not good . Either way, just continue to work through all of your emotions. It hurts, but the less you know and more time away from all the crap, the more you'll come to have a chance at healing and moving on with your life again. For now, be easy on yourself. Hang with some friends, stay active, get your sleep ( self care).

Some people are 'touchy feely', they have yet to grow up and learn about respect & personal space. I am weary about guys who flaunt with numerous women- could mean either a player or uses them to stroke his ego 😕 .. yah, no thanks. Cut what ties with him? You said all he's done is look at you...

So you assume? Hey, if she is this nasty & challenging, why would you continue to tolerate it? And go so far as to marry her? ( I know, cause ya love her.. and you're emotionally invested etc.). But, there comes a time when we NEED to actually take care of ourselves! Which means we will NOT tolerate being mentally or emotionally abused. It'll come to the point she's broken you down so much, you'll feel so belittled and crappy 😞 . And as for sex, that's the easy part. It is a normal part & enjoyment within any relationship and they can still continue to treat you badly. Has she ever been properly diagnosed? Does she go in circles with her behaviour ( anger to over loving again kinda thing), Or is she pretty much like this anytime? As mentioned, this has all pretty much gone south.... agree? Then yeah, you're doing the right thing with recording the proof. She's looking to cheat in this 'marriage'. And also, as mentioned- why keep waiting? For what? As all this is gonna do is continue to manifest inside YOU. If or when you do approach her, as Im sure you're feeling some anxiety , Plan ahead. maybe write out all you plan to say, when you approach her. I find that often helps.. otherwise, I go blank and nothing comes out 😕 . And also if you plan on doing all of this.. look for a place of your own - do you own? And look into a lawyer, seek out legal advice. Child support, visitation, etc.

First of all, he's a guy. They're not so aware of these little things as you gals are. So don't expect it 😉 . Second, you're saying something that happened 8 mos ago. ( when he complimented you?). So, it's time to let that all go. He sounds somewhat like a player. So, of course he'll say how nice you look and agree to go out to party, have drinks etc. I suggest you let it all go now and move on. He isn't worth it! Find a real man. Someone who likes you for you and shows some true interest.

Then why are you seeing him? If you don't want him there, explain why. is because you two are not exclusive. But, it's concerning that you've let this carry on for months, yet fear getting close to anyone and yet you remain with a guy with whom you hve no idea IF he's seeing others? 😕 , what's that doing to you? I think you need to figure your own self out. What do you want? Are you truly ready to date?

Sounds like he is not happy in this situation. Okay, this is NOT okay! he needs to have a life outside this relationship... But, besides that fact, he's a loser! No one needs to be made to feel 'guilt' over someone's attitude & assumptions like this! Sounds like some jealousy and ignorance! Sorry, but none of this is 'love'. IMO, he seems overly needy, which is one turn off and another is playing head games.. from making YOU feel guilt when he doesn't get 'his way'! As for these hook up & dating sites, he's most likely a guy who'll always have them available, look at how he acts. Is probably where he'll remain. ( some are like that, they become so used to those sites, it's a part of them. - whether involved or not.) No, not stronger. He's just a man child who needs to learn some actual respect and grow up! Move on, seriously STOP all interactions and if he keeps at you, ignore. You owe him nothing anymore .. but i get a feel he'll harass you a little, expecting you to cave.. Just don't! Hopefully within a week or so, he'll back off. No loss here 😉

And sadly, you won't even consider giving it a chance? I know a few others like you. I say it's a form of jealousy and no, it's not healthy. I second the idea of looking into some prof help, especially if YOU find it concerning, like it's coming to a point of some 'internal anger'. Anyways, everyone's different. Every relationship is different. Couple's break up all of the time, so you have NO idea what anyone's going through. Yeah, i've been involved, but i've also been through some really rough break ups. And I hit my breaking point, due to it all. I then did 4 yrs of therapy, to work through all of my hurts. I have not gotten involved since as I know my low tolerance now & risks of getting involved -- but this is just an example of ME and my own experiences. ( and there's thousands more out there...) As for you, not sure your age, but is there maybe something you can change or work on? What things have you done to 'better yourself'? .. have you ever been on a date?

Yeah, this is not realistic at all and he seems to want to 'avoid' any negative challenges, hence, why he's kept EVERYTHING inside until ..... his major blowouts. That, isn't healthy! Right, its all suppressed. -- And Communication IS important in a relationship, show's he obviously lacks in this. I agree here. It's best for you both to end it all. Including this business. It will not do either of you any good by having to remain connected in in way. 😕 . You accept what is now and work through your emotions to accept and heal . And the less you know, the better. You need to be able to move on and not be reminded at all.

Major heads up! Oh, I think you're getting to know her enough... I am glad at least YOU Have some self control. 😉 Another good point - differences. I think you two are opposites. - This, is something of a concern. She shows a lack of self respect and boundaries - hence setting other people off. Not good 😕 . Say, for example you two were involved and you walked in and saw her doing this to another guy .. and can you hear her saying 'Aww, please take no offence, he's just a friend'... Yah, no thanks! Maybe is best to remain as you are with her. Don't test those waters!