JD2121

Yeah we broke up the day she got back - be safe out there all, some people are ***ty people

Hi all, thank you all for your replies it has been extremely helpful reading them all. An update: We finally had a facetime call the other day. It was very helpful and a lot of things were said. She said to me that she had been cold and blunt because in the first leg of her trip (pre contiki) she felt she was being overbearing on me and so decided to distance herself from me and ‘enjoy herself’ as she believed it wouldn’t be an issue and i would be okay. She admitted that she knew how she was acting toward me was wrong and that she knew she was hurting me but didn’t want to deal with it. She also told me that this trip has made her realise she was extremely unhappy and a ‘shell of a person’ at home and that she is nervous/dreading coming home. I asked her if ‘at home’ included our relationship and she just said ‘idk its everything, everything in my life’. She said she was nervous to come back home because she would not be excited when we greet each other at the airport and she wouldn’t know how to explain that to me. On the other hand, I told her since she left that I have really been reflecting on my behaviour in our relationship and that I believe I took her company, and her in general, for granted. She said that I was only feeling this way because she was gone, I replied that it took her not being here for me to have this deep reflection about my actions and that I never want to go back to that. She said she wasn’t expecting that from me and that she has a lot to think about and process. However after this she did say that she loved me and that she wanted to work through this. She said that she wants the exciting life we have talked about but she needs to clear her head and figure out her life. For reference: she is an ICU nurse and she has major surgery booked in August when she returns. I thought this conversation was a massive step in the right direction, even though there were some areas of vagueness which concerned me. However, since that call, the next day she has reverted almost immediately back to the blunt one/two word responses and disinterest. I feel even though that call was positive, and that she told me she loved me, her behaviour since is telling me that when she said she ‘needs to figure out her life’ she meant whether she wants me in it or not

Similar to response above, she went with a female friend and this is part of their trip before splitting off on their own again in the last week or so. I couldn’t find the time off work as i work in finance and EOFY reporting has limited my ability to take time off during this time of the year. I had no trust issues until this change in character, and this new guy, came onto the scene

We are both 24, she went on this tour with a female friend. I couldn’t find the time off work to join them. Our relationship was good, shed some tears together at the airport when she left. She has usually been the one who is jealous/clingy/emotional so this shift in her character is hurting me I am not usually one to be concerned as she has gone out on her own when at home and gotten drunk/partied but that often resulted in her messaging me a lot on the night that she loved/missed me and would often want me to go and pick her up. What is concerning me is the shift in attitude and the growing relationship with this other guy. I feel she is trying to minimise contact with me so as to enjoy this fling and not think about the repercussions until she returns

Hi all, I am going to include as much detail as possible to paint a decent picture of the situation: My girlfriend of 2 years of whom i live with, left on an 8 week europe trip about 3 weeks ago. The first leg of her trip she was in London with family and was constantly messaging me letting me know how much she loved/missed me and wanted to facetime/call every other day. 6 days ago she started her contiki tour and her attitude toward me has completely shifted 180 degrees. She doesn’t message me unless its in response to me messaging her- we could go days without talking if i did not reach out. She only tells me she loves me after i say it to her first and she has been making up excuses around calling so we haven’t facetimed since. When she does reply to my messages, it is a very one way conversation and her replies are blunt, 2 word responses. She has recently turned her active status off on facebook to hide when she is online but I can still see that she is active and online on instagram. There is this guy in her group that she has been posting stories with and commenting inside jokes on each others posts and this has gotten me thinking that she is giving me the cold shoulder so she doesn’t have to feel guilty about building something with this guy. A couple of days ago I brought it up to her about how I felt and she said that she had just been very busy and that she will do better, however it has gotten worse since then. She has 4 weeks left of her trip, 20 more days with this contiki group. I have so far tried to reign in my emotions and not bring up my feelings to her as I try to tell myself that she is just enjoying her time. But it is hard for me to think everything is okay when she is acting so cold towards me. I want to talk her via facetime or call so I can hear her tone and be real with her but I know she will keep finding excuses. I want to bluntly ask if she still wants to be in a relationship with me but I believe she will react badly and say ‘not when you are like this’ or similar. Does anyone have any suggestions or opinions for me? Thanks