justme1

variety give him a bj while he is watching porn...don't say anything just get busy. nothing beats a surprise BJ. don't care if he continues to watch the screen while you do your thing. Watching porn, fantasying, while you are giving him head will blow his mind too. Just be careful, he'll get addicted to that too. lol buy a wig...different colors...lengths...with some sexy new underwear. of course this should all be done if you have a normal healthy relationship... I have no idea how your relationship is, your morals, or anything else He (like most guys) myself included, take things for granted when it's always available. If you find yourself without water for a long time and it's hot...you'll find that once you get your hands on some cold water...it tastes like the best thing ever. If you weren't around for a long time (weeks?) I bet he would be all over you when you came back...or maybe not. Try to find out if he's truly just a porn addict, not in love with you or unhappy, or lazy. If you can somehow remind him not to take what he has for granted he may wake up...but probably not because guys are too stupid to realize things and then the girl has her mind set that it's over or not worth it. blah blah blah relationship over. My personal experience: Would rather watch porn because sex was so routine...I was unhappy...or distracted with some other hobby. In a different relationship it was awesome great sex every way with porn and without porn and every other trick we could come up with. I was never bored. If this is the only problem you have, it's variety and imagery...spice it up or tell him to spice it up. Unless he already feels that there is no hope for crazy stuff he sees in movies with you. Otherwise, it could be a small tip of a larger iceberg...I've read about true porn addicts online...i go through phases of a lot and none. I don't need to watch porn at work. But you'd be surprised by the actions of some.

lol spreading sadness accross the world

You had some good times and bad times with this person. It's over. Move on. Cut out all contact. If he contacts you, just ignore him. You don't owe anybody anything. You survived just fine up to the point of meeting him and may have had good and bad relationships along the way. We are individuals. He chose to do something and his path was written. This cascaded to you and your path and your feelings. Things happen...people suck. Don't let outsiders influence you. Ask them not to bring up this person in conversation. You enjoyed the good times and you now forgive him for doing this to you inside your own head. Snap out of it and modify your thought pattern. You can do it. Don't think. You keep opening that wound and it's going to keep bleeding all over you and everything around you and keep you down. Don't let anyone keep you down. Yes, it happens. You are not alone. The lesson is sometimes things don't always turn out how you envision them...and sometimes it turns out bad. If he didn't cheat but instead just told you he was done with you and wanted to move on, you might feel the same way. NO CONTACT IS THE BEST THING IN THE WORLD. The person you knew doesn't exist any longer. He changed. In a little while, you are going to look back at this and laugh to yourself because you were too cloudy to move on faster. You need to forgive and let go in order to heal. If you need to tell him to stop contacting you then do it with your head high and do it with a forgiving tone. Don't tell him you forgive him though. Just tell him you are doing well, keep it short and sweet. Not curt. Don't give him any details or anything just say you are doing fine. If he calls do not answer. It's really simple. Avoid - No contact- No matter what Forgive him inside and accept change Renew yourself- drink water-cut your hair-take a class on yoga or tai chi you can't bring me down Stop playing games with your feelings and this person that changed. You change. Stop running simulations in your head over and over and over. ...nobody can convince you of this...only you can. LOOK there's 6.5 billion people on Earth... You'll be fine. You aren't rubbish...it's not about you. It's about him. People are individuals. Sometimes people suck. You don't hate them. You forgive them for hurting you and you accept reality/change, heal and move on. =)

here's the gist, i'm going to keep this concise met girl - had red flags -dated more and more -told her i wanted to have a just fun relationship -we became exclusive -never fought always had fun -She suffers from a cutural-- lives with parents situation -listened to her constantly about her "issues" -was there for her during every episode of how terrible things are--consolation -travel overseas comes up -all i heard before she left was pain and suffering that she might not go -girl travels overseas for four months -She seems stressed but OK..I tell her whatever happens happens isOk with me because when people travel their mindset changes..they do things like fall in love or maybe just hookup with someone... --she assures me thats not going to happen --I just wanted to let her know that she has freewill to her own life and experiences -weeks later all i hear about is pain and suffering...now that's she's there -express my sorrow for her but offer constant encouragement and consolation through email (if that's possible) -things seem brighter and she is seemingly happier--i offer my enthusiasm and encouragement -things go downhill and emails become far and few -she sends and email about how when she needed someone nobody was there for her... -I offer to fly out asap and she says forget it and she'll be home soon anyway --I do not hear from her for a few weeks and after a day of her return date all that i want to know is if she's landed and OK -She got sick early on and sick again when coming home I wanted to see her...but for some reason..maybe it was the description of how terrible it was, her being sick, and some of the things I had to deal with in my own life...that I didn't rush out to save her. I was relieved when she began appearing happy and going out with co-workers...She made me proud that she was being happy in her desired situation and things seemed healthy. (in my mind) Well, after a few days home she emails me, finally, to tell me she has thought things out and came to the conclusion she needs a friend and not a lover now. And that she just needs time to mull her life over before she heads down a road she doesn't want to be on. She ends by saying she isn't writing me out of existence, but needs time to ponder. I reply by offering her my full support in any decision she makes..let her know she has a home in my heart and how much I enjoyed our time together and also that I've always been her friend and more and would continue to do so...basically i tried telling her i adored her a lot and i'll be supporting her with whatever she wants/needs. I then screwed up by sending her another email a day later expressing how sorry I was for not rusing out to her...and then I expressed how I wanted her to be "on her own" and away from her family just like she wanted (that's a quote by her btw) I also wrote to her (for my own health reasons) that i had to absolve myself from any wrong doings by not rushing out to her. I felt terrible and very sick but i really had to write it down and send it away without ever wanting a response because it was eating me up pretty good. So here I am a week later...haven't seen or heard from her and I'm really thinking like i somehow subconsciously sacrificed WHATEVER so that maybe she could one day look back on this and realize she went through all of this and became a stronger person. I don't know if i'm talking myself bonkers or if I actually did something right or wrong. I feel bad for her but I don't think anyone can save someone from their own misery. I was there for her almost 2 years. I don't think my being with her for a weekend or whatever in another country would have helped anything...and I'm OK with feeling that it was her experience all alone there. Not to mention she's been to several places before and I've never been out of the US. So I've moved on..and I'm maintaing my own sanity..even though i still feel bad and miss her like crazy. She's 25 and i'm 32...but it felt like i was dating a 16 year old some of the time...because of the cutural influence. I don't know if she hates me or really just needs time. I don't know if I'll ever hear from her again. I don't know if I'm a deadbeat bf. I don't know if in someway this may actually be beneficial to her in the years that follow. The only thing I do know is that I'm not falling apart because I'm strong and I'm not putting my life on hold for anyone. Even though I feel dumped I almost feel like I did her a favor. Am I insane? Should I be without feeling over this? So i'm on the NC rule as she stated she just needed time to ponder things while I'm hoping she would ask me to take her to dinner or something. It's obvious that she doesn't need a lover now...was i just a distraction? hmmm

When you are stronger and about 20 years older and happy where you are and realize how foolish the past was...it's always fun to re-read that old hogwash. Depending on the situation. Place in shoebox and forget.

I'm still healing myself and I feel your pain. But sometimes you need some reality so here it goes... WAKE THE bleep up! Look in the mirror! No ONE HEARS your thoughts. Quit wasting your time on this person. There are millions of women in the world. Stand up and take control of your life. Cut contact with person. Is she comforting you? NO! Will she? NO MOVE ON AND LIVE. Don't be angry, be in control and be strong. Splash some cold water in your face. You are 26 and when you are 36 you will look back on this and laugh. Lasty, enjoy some pink floyd lyrics Coming Back to Life (David Gilmour) Where were you when I was burned and broken While the days slipped by from my window watching Where were you when I was hurt and I was helpless Because the things you say and the things you do surround me While you were hanging yourself on someone else's words Dying to believe in what you heard I was staring straight into the shining sun Lost in thought and lost in time While the seeds of life and the seeds of change were planted Outside the rain fell dark and slow While I pondered on this dangerous but irresistible pastime I took a heavenly ride through our silence I knew the moment had arrived For killing the past and coming back to life I took a heavenly ride through our silence I knew the waiting had begun And headed straight...into the shining sun

please see link removed Well, i sent her an email telling her I was unavailble to go shopping. She called me today sounding very pissed. She said my email was curt and that she's not to be taken for granted or treated like an ass. She then layed into me non-stop for about an hour how I hurt her and yada yada yada. As much As I've admitted my wrong doings and how much effect all this has had on me she was interrupting constantly. I admitted all of my wrongdoings but told her how much she has meant to me and will always mean to me, and how sorry I am. When people ask her why she left me she told me she says she was either going to break up with me or marry me...and she thinks she made the best decision for both of us. Sigh. It's going to take many years I believe to get over all of this. thanks for yoru support... God give me the strength to feel whole again

my cousin met her husband in highschool. They stayed together forever... both are successful lawyers... some people get lucky i suppose. just remember nothing matters, we all die in the end.

I don't think she would ever screw me over again seriously. She is an amazing person who would help me any time I need it. I will not put myself in a position where she would do that however. So I think I'm just going to be light on the conversation and move on and heal. I can get into more details about everythign if anyone needs my experience. I wanted to marry her,,,she said she would have said yes. I didn't ever ask though because i wanted to get a job first and have everything be right. I read men are from mars book...but when she suggested couples therapy that her current therapist does i turned it down..because i thought she wanted me to go to therapy alone. (I still do not remember her saying couples though) this was after the fact. I pushed away the best person so far in my life and a new level of person has been cast on me. She was not very passionate and seemed cold many times but SHe had looks, smarts, and we were very compatible. It was like the almost perfect relationship. I feel so horrible at times because I trusted her and loved her... but i guess what is tru is that the truth always surfaces. I got cozy of her company...and wanted her even though we both at times threatened to leave...but we wante dit to work so much. First person I ever bought diamonds for..(earrings). The first time we kissede, there was no spark in my mind. I liked so many things about her though...her family, her person..some of her points of view. I keep telling myself it was better to have lived it than to never have lived it all! miss her... justme

hi all Getting through a 2.5 year breakup...she broke up with me. then i found out the next day she cheated on me while on vacation the week earlier...anyways I'm healing alright. I've stopped being the nice person. I've stopped all the i miss you's at the end of emails. I've stopped emailing her. She really isnt that evil...she's actually a very caring person. Could be a lot worse. I helped her move out and everything. Even though I was betrayed, i am slightly forgiving. My mind knows I'll be ok and now I need that time apart so my wounds can heal. Heres the problem i need advice on. She emailed me and wanted to go shopping and wanted to stop by to get somethings she left behind....i said i was unavailable and lets do it later in the week. She replied with with the cryptic message? got a date?" I don't know why she would say this...anyways her birthday is coming up and I've decided that I don't want to get her anything. I don't want to see her...because She's not the person i love anymore. I love the person before... So what should i do,,,,keep space and heal and but still keep contact at minimum? Should i do anything for her bday...anything at all? A part of me wants to say screw you i dont ever want to see or hear you again....and another part says..take the time to heal...don't get involved with anything and in time you can begin to accept her again. be polite and mature,.. She wants to be friends still...she said the biggest thing she fears is that I'll never speak to her again. What i feel is that I shouldnt do anything with her...but to the point email....i want to cut her out of my life. I'll be moving soon and she wants to help me move also...but i think i dont want her help. screw her. thanks