baby_innocence

It's normal. After a long relationship it's normal for you to be hesitant, and worried about him being friends with his ex, but in order for you to fix this problem with yourself, you'll need to talk to him about it. You'll need to tell him how you feel, explain to him what makes you feel this way, and maybe ask him yourself what he thinks should be done. I cant tell you hints on ways he maybe falling in love with you because people fall in love differently. If you want a forward answer if he is falling in love with you, and how, ask him yourself. remember words just arent enough sometimes. You should trust him, but dont trust him that much. Dont pour yourself out to him, and dont expose yourself to him until you know you're ready to go through the process again. Talk to him about your relationship, and get things out in the open. Relationships also include communication, not just trust, so keep that in mind. Good luck!

I think you're just too nice. I've had some of those experiences myself. When I become good friends with a guy, and then afterwards get asked out by them. I'm sure they mean no harm turning you down, but most likely you've made them feel so comfortable with you, that the comfort they feel is only at a friendship level. You say you can keep a healthy conversation, but I think that conversation is only that, a conversation. Getting to know each other, joking around, laughing, having a good time right? Well, I think you should try to keep that healthy conversation, but maybe put a hint of flirtatious in it too. It doesnt hurt to flirt a little, and get a little physical with the girl you're talking with (specially if you want to be with her in the future). That way, there's that 'buddy' feeling, but not that 'brother' feeling.

You're a possesive person. You like her, and you have a feeling in you that she likes you back. Although you havent asked her out, it still bothers you that she talks to other guys, or just guy friends in general. This really isnt healthy because this jealousy might take over you when you're actually with someone, and least expect it. I suggest you tone it down a bit, and see where you end up. It might be good to ask her if she has a boyfriend also, so you know whether or not you should ask her out to an outing with you. Again, dont get too possesive, most girls find it cute to have a guy a little jealous of little things, but once you start restricting her from doing things she's supposed to able to do, it's not cute, it's just scary. Dont scare her off, it'll hurt you more than you can imagine...

just cruize. why worry? i know you're probably nervous that you might mess up, but the more you worry, the more you tense up, and the more you tense up, the more likely of a chance you will mess up. if you want to just make out with her all night, that's cool, but if she wants to take things in a higher level, and you're not comfortable with that, then hey, tell her so. tell her you want to wait awhile until moving into those types of things, and as for now you just want to stay in the level you two are in. if she's cool with it, then great, if she's not, then she's most likely the type of girls thats more into the physical attraction in relationships. oh, but hey, i dont know her personally, so that's just my guess on the situation. as for the "fogging up the windows" thig. maybe she was just joking around. thinking naughty. some girls do that from time to time to get guys excited on the event...but hey, if im not wrong...rough kissing also causes fog on the windows.

i dont think its more of she's 'shy' or whatever, and if she wanted to french kiss you she would've with, or without her flu. it's just, it's your first date for goodness sakes. i know she's your best friend, and even though you two have probably known each other in awhile, it still doesnt make it correct to go so fast on your first date. i suggest you slow down a little, and be a little curtious of what she does, and doesnt want to do. now, i know the date must've been enjoyable for you, and for her, but in the end, no matter how great the date might've been, maybe it's just against her respect for herself to french kiss on the first date. dont worry, you two should be dating for awhile, so there's no need to rush into things so fast. because you know, if you do, your relationship will end sooner, and in most cases, it ruins the whole friendship all together. if you want to talk to her about it, i suggest you apologize. oh, and if she's still sick, bring her something to make her feel better. sort of make up your forwardness with something else. buy her a stuffed animal, or make her soup. comfort her. she's sick, girls need comforting...and it's a plus if it's their boyfriends/best friends doing it. good luck, and remember slow down!

I agree, it's not quite right to go to church only to meet 'chicks' (dont call us chicks by the way). But then hey, as you had said yourself you're desperate...Hm, I still dong agree, but it's not my part to say my opinion about it.. As for going to girls in general. Church girls as you say, arent 'church girls' they're just...GIRLS. And no, most arent easy to get. They're aware of what 'boys' can do, and how to just reject it. They are nice though, and most are easy to talk to. Dont be a jerk, and dont seem desperate. That's just a turn-off all together. Smoking isnt allowed, and some dont even allow drinking. Be forreal. Be down to earth. Be easy to talk to as well. Be polite, appropriate, but dress well. Be funny. And if that's not who you are, I suggest you find girls at clubs, and dances rather than church. Girls that usually go to church have higher standards...But that's just my say.

oOkay...I was just in your position. I liked a guy in my class for a few weeks. I was completely gushing over him. Practically wanting him to be with me, as much as you want this guy to be with you. You seem kinda forward with him. That you're rushing into things. And it's natural that you are, since when I was in your position I was rushing into things too. I was practically asking my sister the same thing you're asking us here at eNotAlone. Dont worry, it's natural. It's not like you're acting like no one else has. It's a good thing to not talk to him for awhile. If he's interested in you he'll call, and I know you're really frightened that he wont call, and I know how that feels. You cant keep going to him, and calling him. You cant pour yourself out to him because if things dont work out, you'll look back on it, and just be embarrassed at the way you handled the situation. If you're interested into hearing what I did to handle the situation is...I just simply gave up on him all together. I stopped contacting him, I stopped liking him, I stopped everything. The whole package. Eventually he caught on, and he knew I didnt like him anymore. Hehe, amazing thing is, he's now trying to get my attention. He's being loud in class, he's causing trouble, he's just doing stupid things in front of me that he usually doesnt at all. It's actually quite funny...Oh, and entertaining.

I dont think you should take this too seriously. Sure go ahead with the flirting, but dont go too far into getting in thought of a relationship with her. Prepare yourself for things that might, or might not come your way. Try calling your best friend a few more times, and see your response. If nothing happens, you should leave your friend be, and find out yourself. On your friday date with her, I think you should just have fun, and hang out with her like you probably usually do. When you think the time is right, ask her yourself. You said so yourself that you've known her for about a year or so correct? Well you should know her personality from that one year experience with her. She might be a big flirt, but you never know...There is a level of flirting for fun, and flirting to get a guys attention for a relationship. If you want to know the truth, dont beat around the bush, ask her yourself personally. Of course dont ask her as if you're serious about it, say it in a matter that sounds as if you're joking, but with a tone that says you're serious also. If the relationship scenario doesnt work out for the both of you, maybe you should stay in a level of friends with benefits.

I agree with the first post. Ask her out to dinner, or an activity. Maybe just to hang out somewhere nice, and quiet. Where you two can just be alone to talk to one another. Go to the beach, or take a walk around the park. If you're too shy to ask her out yourself in public, you should get a girl-buddy of yours to ask her to go to you privately so you can ask her on your own without any interruptions. Good luck!

Also, today I asked my friend who had said what in their conversation, and she told me he was the one that had said those things, and not her. That's a good thing right? Even still, I receive this vibe from him as if he's not interested in me, and he just doesnt want to try to work things out. I guess that's why it's so difficult for me to talk to him, and be myself around him, the fact that I receive a feeling inside of me that he's just so blank about it. He shows no face expression at all, and neither does his voice...It's so dull, or something. It's hard for me to come up with a conversation with someone who sounds so un-interested in even giving effort to making a conversation. So far I've made about 4 new guy friends that I get along fine with, but for some reason, I cant get along with him. I guess because I can try to talk to him, but in order to make ends meet, he'll have to try to talk to me too right? Well, I dont think he's trying, or even willing to give the effort to make a conversation with me. This really does bum me out since I want to be able to talk to him, and have that relationship where we can just joke around, laugh together, and be buddy-buddies. [/i]

I'm trying right now. There's a bus strike in Hawaii that's causing some of the students in school to not come in since most of the students that attend my school live at least 5+ miles away, and he's one of those people. I havent seen him since the bus strike started, and today I tried calling him, but his mom said he wasnt home. I dont know how to take that, should I keep trying to be friends with him and talk to him, or should I just leave him alone (for now anyway).

Be friends with him? Wouldnt that be awkward for him? I heard he's really shy around people (girls in general) he doesnt really know. As for me, his first impression of me is the girl that liked him. Wouldnt that sort of freak him out if I call him up, and talk to him about stuff? I dont want to call him up, and end up having those weird silent moments...

I cant talk to him myself. It's too awkward for me to be in contact with him. We're in two classes together, and our school schedule makes us see each other in class everyday of the week...This should be easy to talk to him, but I just cant start a conversation with a guy. I dont know what it is, but it's just not in me to start things with guys. I guess I will just ask my friend whether or not what she told me was what he really said. I guess I just have to prepare myself tonight on what might come tomorrow...

I'm somewhat in your position. Learn this, no one is worth your life than yourself. Dont kill yourself over a person. I've learned that the hard way. It's not worth it. I mean at all. Secondly, you have to learn to let go...it might take a hell of a long time, and trust me I know how you must feel, but you have to try and get on with your life just as she is. Date other women, see your friends. Dont revolve your life around a girl that's 10,000 miles away from you. My first love experience only lives a mile away from my house, it's been a year since I last saw/talk/interacted with him, and I still havent competely gotten over him. I still love him, and I know he cant be replaced in my life, and I've come to accept the fact that I dont have to replace him. If you love this girl, you'll have to let her go, and knowing women, even though she may not feel the same to you, she wouldnt want you beating yourself up over her. It wont just make her feel devastated she was the source of your death, but even more guilty she couldnt have done anything to stop it. I suggest you get on with your life before you hurt yourself and even worse, hurt her more than you could ever imagine. You love her...If you loved her, and cared for her...You would take care of yourself. Not more for your sake, but more for hers.

Yahko's right. Sometime's the best way to hande a rejection is just to move on with your life. She told you her feelings towards you, and it may have been devastating for you to find out how she felt, but she is just one out of a million (plus) more out there in the world. If you've changed physically, and mentally over a period of time, and to your opinion for the better, then show off your stuff, and see how she takes it. If she starts showing signs that she's interested in how you are now, than you were then, it's your decision whether you'd want to give her that second chance. Some signs you might see from her is if she lingers around where you are a lot, if she makes eye-to-eye contact with you constantly, if you see her stare/look at you whenever she's around, and/or she raises her tone of voice whenever you're nearby. In my opinion, a girl who didnt feel the same way about you back then, shouldnt receive a second chance with you now. If she were the perfect one for you, she would've felt the same way, and accepted you for who you were then more than now.