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Kalika

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Everything posted by Kalika

  1. Kalika
    Heh yeah I've thought about just "disappearing" for a while to see what would happen.. unfortunately we already ARE exclusive which I feel may have been rushed. I hate to say it but I wouldn't mind dating others to see what my options are. Is there any way to break EXCLUSIVITY with a guy without actually totally dumping him?? I feel awful for asking this, but I do want the opportunity to meet other guys that wouldn't be out barhopping all the time. I wish I had more time for other hobbies like the ones mentioned, but I honestly just dont.. I have a lot of responsibilities and my time is very limited, and that includes time to go out and socialize. Ugh maybe it's time to try meeting guys online.
  2. Kalika
    Honestly hun it just sounds like she's not interested in you as more than a friend. If you can handle just being her friend, then try to pursue a friendship with her. If not, you need to politely explain to her why you are going to stop communicating with her.
  3. Kalika
    Thanks Ellen ... but you do the same girl... don't stay with someone that isn't there 100%!!
  4. Kalika
    I think a compromise could be worked out kellbell.. but the larger issue is, most guys that I've seen want to be around their girls all (or a lot of) the time.. so I don't know what's wrong or missing here..
  5. Kalika
    I agree with DN. You cannot "take care" of things for them. Your parents need to either figure out a way to work things out as adults, or divorce as adults. Have they considered counseling, either as a couple or individually? Before even thinking about divorce, they should consider doing that..
  6. Kalika
    Hey Kellbell.. I did try to make other plans but by that point it was too late (my friend wanted me to go over to his place, but it's a good 30 mins away and I was upset and didn't want to go out at that point).. either way I didn't really make it really clear before that I wanted to see him on the weekend. Last night he said that he doesn't want to wait a week to see me, and suggested maybe we get together on Wednesdays. Which is all fine and dandy, but if he can't curb his precious weekend barhopping, he's done. So I figure, I'm going to make it really clear to him that Saturday would be the best day for me to see him, unless he wants to come over at some point on a weekday (weekdays I'm not even free until evening, and even then it's hard for me to go out). If he drops the ball this weekend (i.e. my only free time!) he's not getting any more chances. Flowers or not! lol
  7. Kalika
    Hey Ellen, I understand how it would be easy to stay in love with him because he's still in the picture! But please listen carefully.. if you're hanging out with him, thinking about him, etc.. that means you're devoting your time/energies to him and if he doesn't feel the same way, you're depriving yourself of someone that could really care about you and want to be with you. If he's a good friend, I don't think you should cut off contact completely, but try limiting it in some ways so that you have some chances to meet other people. Do you have friends in the area that you can go out with? I have a boyfriend that I've only been seeing for a few months.. I may be ending it with him soon, depending on how things go (there's a whole thread about it under 'Dating'..).. He doesn't act as "interested" in the relationship as I want him to, in a nutshell. So that's my story.
  8. Kalika
    I am so sorry you're going through this. It must be very hurtful. That being said, your ex is trying to have his cake and eat it too. It must be very comforting for him to know that he still has you when he wants you, but can go out and do what he wants without committing to you. He gets everything and you get nothing. Strongly consider No Contact. Eventually the hurt will subside, and you can keep your dignity!
  9. Kalika
    ... and please, PLEASE don't take him back ... honestly hun, I am not saying this to be harsh but he sounds awful. Maybe you should try to get some counseling to figure out why it is you would put up with a guy that would do even HALF of the things on that list you mentioned.. I'm just saying that because I wouldn't want to see you go back to him, or repeat the mistake with another one just like him.
  10. Kalika
    I think you are right on: marriage is about formalizing it to society/family/friends, whereas boyfriend/girlfriend is a hypothetical precursor to marriage..
  11. Kalika
    How long were you two together? A lot of times it seems to me that an inability to let go is really (also) a fear of having to start over again with someone else and go through the relationship stuff all over again.. It's really possible, on the other hand, that you haven't met someone that you really would be good with just yet, and that if you did, you'd finally get over the ex.. just a thought, in case you were wondering why you weren't having any luck with the guys that have been coming along since the ex.
  12. Kalika
    agreed Batya.. and as fun as rollercoasters are(!!) I wouldn't want to ride one in my relationship! As far as him flirting with others at the bar, no I don't think he would do that and yes I really do trust him not to. He's not a creep like that, and trusting men is actually one of the harder things for me to do, so I feel secure in that regard. But really, the bar thing really just isn't for me.. This bar he goes to, he enjoys because a friend of his works there, and he knows a lot of people there.. which is great for him but sucky for me. And I already found out what happens when I tell him (i.e. a few days ago) that I just really wasn't in the mood for the bars... he went anyways and I was stuck here posting on ENA!
  13. Kalika
    Thanks for your input iceman.. I would definitely agree with that. I understand that it's important to be with both your SO and your friends, but they are adults and should not be completely dependent on him for DD rides ... that being said, I don't believe that's the ONLY reason he goes. He enjoys going there, hanging out, playing darts, etc. If he feels like he has to choose between me and the bars, then quite simply I'll be taking myself out of the equation.
  14. Kalika
    Absolutely agreed.
  15. Kalika
    Flowers wouldn't really work like that for me lol .. I'm just waiting to see how this weekend plays itself out. If I don't see him this weekend, we're done. But the flowers really are pretty on my kitchen table...
  16. Kalika
    umm.. I feel like this is kind of harsh, actually... If I felt like this was "good enough for me" I wouldn't have posted on ENA about it. That's my first point. My second is that when he goes to the bars, he doesn't get drunk, ever. This I know for a fact. He'll have like, 2 beers and call it a night. Often he's the DD for the group and does so purposely because they might have too much to drink and he doesn't want them to drive. Furthermore, I don't nurse hangovers or watch him while he flirts with other girls because he's drunk. Those are two things that don't happen, although it makes for a great Lifetime movie. And I'm not "of the mindset" that every guy goes out and gets drunk at the bars. All I said was that I don't know any guys that actually do anything else. Even the great boyfriends of my female friends like to go to the bars on the weekends, or to parties with their friends, etc. Furthermore, I never thought or even suggested that there's anything "manly" about going to bars and getting drunk, and I don't know what I possibly could have said that gave you that impression. I'm really not sure where this all came from but I feel looked down on by you for posting here about it.
  17. Kalika

    vagina

    Kalika replied to llcoolplaye's topic in Sex and Romance

    She may also have an infection... if the next time it still smells like that, you should (as nicely as possible) tell her to see a gyno
  18. Kalika
    Hey Batya, I agree with Redding .. that's solid advice ... I just don't know any guys who aren't interested in going out to bars/clubs and places like that.. Actually I did see him tonight. He brought me a half dozen roses and we went out to dinner.. and said he wants to see me soon again.. so we'll see how it goes I guess. But yeah, I definitely wish he wasn't into the bar scene.
  19. Kalika
    oh honey.. it's awesome he dumped you, go out and have a party!! you got away from a guy that sounds like one of the worst i've ever heard of
  20. Kalika
    Yeah, I wouldn't barrage him with my anger or anything .. although that's been tempting at times Batya are you dating any1?
  21. Kalika
    ya.. and if he wants an explanation, I will definitely give him one... Annie wrote in another thread about how some guys are passive pursuers and some arent, and it totally clicked. he's passive. I need an active pursuer!
  22. Kalika
    That sounds like a plan... but if I get relegated to a Sunday night date again next weekend also, his is dumped. now the only problem is, I have never dumped anyone so I dont really know what to say.. whoops..
  23. Kalika
    wow I just wanted to give props to Annie because this really rung home for me and my situation... so sadie and any other woman that is going through this should pay attention because this is exactly what we should be paying attention to!
  24. Kalika
    I agree totally..... Ironically in the beginning (all of 2 months ago!) we saw each other a lot and he tried to see me a lot but now.. nope.. and in those times I really thought we could make a relationship work. You are right kevin t... Do you guys think I should see what he says about hanging out tonight? I'm so nervous, he's calling me in an hour or so and I really don't know if I should just dump him and get it over with, or wait a day or a week to see if things change.
  25. Kalika
    He calls every day since we have spoken about it (he didn't call every day before that) but he's still iffy with coming to see me and making solid plans ahead of time.
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