Jump to content

Benson

Members
 View Profile  See their activity

  • Posts

    130

  • Joined

 Content Type 

Everything posted by Benson

  1. Benson
    yeah hehe... we wont ever understand i dont think... but how do you take this and learn from it? I may be pessemistic here but think of it this way: To learn from this, would be to become almost paranoid that your relationship is going to end at any time... I dont think theres a way to explain this experience.. in any words, it just happens and we have to deal with it... when dealing with the unknown its always harder to accept it, cause well... you just dont know, and will never know.... it screws the mind up pretty good. Im almost positive I know why it happened to me. But we will never for know for sure why it happens to us. So it kind of messes you up... thinking that youll always make the same mistakes, miss the signs, cause you dont know what they were (if any)... In my case I put aside my doubts of her not being emotionally open, and continued on. She was just too young emotionally and I knew that, thinking that she'd mature when i was with her. I put it aside for her, loved her anyways with all my heart.. cause thats what lovers do.. They realize what their partner doesnt have, and respect it.. And I got totally screwed. I suppose I learned a lesson... But at the end of the day it still hurts and its still going to take alot of time, so the reasons why dont matter... I mean unless you were an abuser or something of the like..
  2. Benson
    yeah i definitely agree ruby.. crazy weather here in canada hehe in regards to pacos post: she was very insecure and unsure.. but one the she was 'sure' of is that she loved me. ruby: thats exactly all that ive lost, myself.
  3. Benson
    wow.. how stupid is this.. I guess this really opened up our eyes eh?
  4. Benson
    thanks guys, I truly hope this gets better, soon.. but time is the only thing that can cure it. its funny you should say 'wish her happiness on her journey' Those were the last words I spoke to her friend more than a month ago. "no matter what happened, i wish her the best'' and that was it. how she could be so immature and hateful.... I just wont know... kickedin: I know you've had a very rough time too, I guess everyones situation is a bit different but we all have the same hurt in the end... It just amazes me that 6 months ago when I spoke to her about a break, she broke down crying and I vowed to give it my all.. And it worked....... It makes me so sad that she wasnt strong enough to try for me.. the way I did for her.
  5. Benson
    hey all thanks for reading this post.. its been close to 35 days of no contact for me and it seems im feeling worse... All the thoughts run through my head all day, I even dream about her.. I keep wondering what I did wrong, why she never spoke up to me about her not being happy.. and how someone could just leave love without warning, it just kills me... I hate this, every minute I think about this girl that I gave up so much for, I think about how much trust I had in her that got broken because she couldnt speak to me about her emotions.... I want to email her so badly but I know thats a bad idea... someone help me lol She relied so much on me and now she wont even call me, just walks off and thats it???? Its very hard to come to grips with, no matter how young she was when I met her...
  6. Benson
    elithepi oh man you feel the exact same way I do... you invested everything into something and it walks away from you out of the blue... im so afraid of it happening again, i am also questioning myself... I know exactly what your feeling.... As with you I have my own problems in life as well, and my recent breakup is affecting my job. keep your head up friend, you are certainly not alone here.
  7. Benson
    hey Dave. you are so generous in your love and support on this forum, it astounds me. I have but one question for you. I know I should be moving on. However I am still stuck on my ex. Theres something missing here, that I am not sure what it is. It feels like its not over... Im having great trouble finding myself again, my humor, my sense of relationships, everything. I just dont seem to want to do anything! I havent contacted her in 4 weeks... Nor has she.. We didnt even break up on bad terms, infact I never got a reason for it really... All i know is that she felt inadequate for me, because of some last words she spoke to me... I didnt want her to feel this way, but I feel so bad for her that its killing me... I know its not my responsibility to feel her pain but the circumstances of our relationship were such that I tried to help her with everything, and it sucks not being able to do that. She was very dependant and all of that, and I know she really and truly didnt find herself as a person. But it pains me to think i wont be there for her anymore... Makes me so sad.. I just want to fall asleep with her again.... I've been NC for about 4 1/2 weeks now..
  8. Benson
    yea most definitely. NOT WORTH IT!!!
  9. Benson
    same. i hate that. i still constantly have dreams of my ex, making love when it was good... relaxing with her, even woke up thinking she was beside me like every saturday night... broke my heart every time..
  10. Benson
    hehe yeah, lucky for me i feel the same way... rebounds (unless you're totally over the ex) can be sticky... you could end up hurting the other person, or even worse, hurting youself even more, bringing up thoughts of your ex.. which is exactly what I would do.
  11. Benson
    yeah sex isnt nearly as good as when you're in love.. maybe thats why im reluctant to get a rebound.. and the fact that all i will do is probably hurt the rebound girl in the end. heh i dont like hurting people
  12. Benson
    if my ex were to ever try to contact me, for whatever reason in the next few months, i would say to her 'i dont want to see any text from you, letters, emails nothing.. unless its a sincere apology to what you've done'' .. only accept communication from them if its goign to help you, not them. also, demand clarity from the messages, you dont deserve to be left hanging and wondering what they mean by a peticular message and dont fall for tricks.. it hurts more and more in the end.
  13. Benson
    carebear, i exchanged the same words with my ex as well. this was 30 days ago almost now with no contact. it is so hard, but you will get through it. i promise you. we all will. although life seems dark right now (i dont even have the energy to clean up this * * * *hole of a room) it will get alot better. just try to keep busy... I know how many times you want to pick up that phone and call him, how much you miss him, the good times. lots of love.
  14. Benson
    Im here for you guys as well. Keep your head up Red.
  15. Benson
    was she the dumper?
  16. Benson
    ah.. like 30 days of NC.... it sure is difficult.. I still think about her all day long unfortunately... it sucks that im sliding back into depression after this...
  17. Benson
    thanks shaker. i will stick to it. for some reason I just want her to hurt as much as she's hurt me. the more I think about it, the more I dont want to be with her, just cant stop thinking about it is all.
  18. Benson
    do you guys think its wise to email my ex and tell her to make arrangements to pick up her stuff? Also maybe tell her that i've met someone new to see what she'd do?? its been a month and a half of break up... and I've had no contact with her for about a month now. she ended it with little respect, atleast she did it face to face.
  19. Benson
    While we're on this topic, do you think its a good idea to break NC in an email and tell the ex to make arrangements to pick up her clothes and stuff, because my new girlfriend is wondering why I still have a bag full of my ex's stuff?? (no i havent found anyone but it would be fun to put that in there)..
  20. Benson
    if you need to talk, pm me for my email and we can talk on msn
  21. Benson
    yeah man. but she is running... hehe theres nothing you can do.. besides, why would you want to get over this with her, then down the road it happen again?? she obviously isnt ready for whatever reason, theres nothing you can do about it... she broke it off with you right??
  22. Benson
    kickedin, friend. try to calm down, i know its hard but you've got to do it... you are gonna make yourself sick, like i did... its not worth it.... take deep breaths, gather your thoughts, you dont know this yet but this could be good for you... you never know.. you said she hurt you?? why are you letting her win? you gotta give her some space, start to heal yourself man.. its gonna kill you slowly... if you have to, go to the doctors, get something to calm you down a bit..i've noticed by the number of threads you have your mind is probably racing like crazy, as mine was. yeah, that sums me up too. in a nutshell.. walked right off no reason, no contact nothing... but we HAVE to move on man... She was the one that moved on, for whatever reasoning.. Thats her right, shes her own person, no matter how idiotic her reasoning is, or how bad it makes you feel... Its her right to say goodbye, as its yours to feel better.
  23. Benson
    bleh. thanks for all the replies here guys. I was looking at some photos 1 yr ago at a work christmas party.. on someones msn spaces.. It hurts to see me with her, but its also apparent why she broke it off. and every day hurts less and less... she was simply not ready for anything, and has no idea how to handle someones heart. it makes me sad, in the same breath though it makes me angry... And when I did all the DAMN WORK and she did NOTHING, and im the one that got SCREWED... it makes me soooo mad... I Was willing to work with her on ANYTHING.... this makes me so mad.... How, when anything was wrong with us, I brought it straight to her, dealt with it right then and there... but when something is wrong for her, she says nothing about it and leaves... I just cant wait for the day I can trust a woman again... Its really nice to be able to have a steady relationship with someone... Its a feeling that nothing can replace.
  24. Benson
    yeah. I was thinking about trying to lure my ex back too... but is it really worth it??? I mean, for whatever reason things didnt work out, problems that may not have been apparent for you, may have been to her.. Is it even worth trying to get back with her?? Obviously, we have relationships with people because it makes life seem that much better when we're around them, when things dont work out it all comes crashing down.. chances are if your ex doesnt see the light after seeing you flirt with her best friend or whatever... she wont at all... Even if she comes crawling back, it wont be out of love, it will be out of jealousy
  25. Benson
    I just dont wanna see her at all.. It would kill me.
×
×
  • Create New...