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Dilly

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Everything posted by Dilly

  1. Dilly
    Yeah, it's getting a bit pickled with the indirect communication. I mean, I dunno. It seems like you have a LOT of hostility for him and then, that you want him by your side at other times. I'm not sure what to think right now. His answer about finding someone else - Himself - is actually a decent answer, but indirectly meant to take you down with a sucker punch. Any interaction you voluntarily enter into at this point in time should be thought of as analogous to touching a hot stove to see if it's still on. You guys aren't helping each other with your comments and back and forth tango. It's funny in its own high-school way and almost like comic relief so if that's entertaining for you both, then great. No harm, no foul. It almost seems like you both like poking at your relationship with a long sharp stick. Been there, done that and in some cases, maintaining a sense of humor and a sense that we're all human and capable of mistakes... well, you become more tolerant without completely going NC and ... but from what you say about your late night texts, you both miss each other. Time away isn't such a bad thing. It allows for growth.
  2. Dilly
    HIGH FIVE CHICA!!! I do think that silence is golden now. And you're doing it with calm resolve, no hard feelings towards him. You know, you are ending this on the note that you wanted to. It's a good thing. I love it! Keep it up and keep him guessing because he doesn't really deserve a gesture of appreciation. In a way, it's almost like he's a lab scientist, poking at the lab animal with crude instruments to see what kind of reaction will manifest. No reaction suggests he doesn't know anything about the animal he thought he knew so well and will likely frustrate him, which while that is not your intended outcome, is better than doing the predictable, responding in ways that make him feel power and control over you. GOOD JOB!
  3. Dilly
    Thank you Beec and BeStrongBeHappy. Fact is, the people I work with (my colleagues) are great. And my boss's boss moved off the project and my boss and his emotional paramour are both nearly gone as well. Lots of change is in the works, another reason to lay low. So I anticipate with hope that by just chilling out and resisting the urge to get involved in these matters, I will get a better review next year. I want stability in my life more than anything and I can have that with this job so THANKS for firming up my position to stay the heck out of it. No win situation.
  4. Dilly
    RU Serious? That's very unfortunate! But we are who we are and sometimes early encounters make us find certain things more inviting than others. Apparently there are pregnant porn sites that cater to this interest and I'll tell you maybe you're just picking up on the hormonal surges in women because like I've said repeatedly, I've never had such a drive as I've had while pregnant. It's really been phenomenal. Maybe you are picking up on the pheromones. I just think as long as you find your significant other attractive and are completely honest and faithful, it's fine. She can theoretically get pregnant so she should feel no threats. Anyway, I hope you don't question yourself too much. It's your right to find attractive what turns your head and not to have to question it too much. And since you asked, I find it flattering to know that men find pregnant women attractive. It's nice to know because well, we don't always feel so hot.
  5. Dilly
    OK, I spoke way too early. The baby moved into a very strange position again. She did it this weekend too. Usually, her feet are poking out of the right side of my abdomen and now I have NO IDEA where they are. I just feel sort of stretched out and the movements are all above my pubic bone. I don't know if she's moving down or what, but fortunately, some brief episode of hiccups suggests she might still be head down, but this is a position I'm not happy about because I can't tell what's what. And it doesn't feel like she's actually moving lower into my pelvis. It really doesn't.
  6. Dilly
    Certainly interesting perspectives abound!!! I just love all the thought-provoking feedback. THANKS everyone!!! It's really interesting how many people hate hyphenation.
  7. Dilly
    Well, congratulations, Ash!!! Great news!!! She's close to her second trimester!
  8. Dilly
    Thanks everybody for your support in advising me to keep a low profile. I think it's best, too. I honestly have been experiencing such a monumental change in perspective since becoming pregnant. Wrong will always exist in the world and perhaps it's best just to try not to contribute to it, rather than providing a remedy for it.
  9. Dilly
    Just to clarify, I would not go to upper management to be an informant of the affair because the management is already aware and is outcasting him because of it. But I agree, why put my head on a spit? I'm done being a hero. Where are my heroes when I need them to take up for me? I honestly have never had someone go to bat for me and I have repeatedly gone to bat for others. I think it's time to change.
  10. Dilly
    You are such a fun mother!!! I love hearing about your kids and all the fun stuff you do with them. I know it's not exciting, but maybe that's all J offered, was an up and down all around roller coaster that kept your spirits shaken up and maybe at times, it felt bubbly, but that's only cuz they were fizzy from being shaken so much. PROUD OF YOU!!!
  11. Dilly
    My supervisor turned in his resignation a month ago and leaves tomorrow. His manager and upper management have outcasted him due to an emotional affair that developed with another work contact, his co-supervisor. I never knew about it until recently and from my perspective, he has done a tremendous job and has remained completely objective in doing his job. I don't have regular conversations with upper managment but I will say that essentially his boss and the one above her are not people I would confront on this matter after giving me poor reviews for two years in a row in order to stifle my growth and prevent me from moving to another project. Having said that, I am scared of going three tiers up to upper management to defend my supervisor, but I feel it is the right thing to do. I just wonder if it will hurt me instead. I have been quiet and easy-going here at work over the last several months because I just want to get through the day happy and I try not to get my head too wrapped around the BS, but I feel he has been wronged and I want to defend him. In doing so in the past, I have had my head served on a platter in my performance review, so I am VERY VERY hesitant to do anything. I firmly and wholeheartedly disagree with the assessment and see through it as an oppressive attempt by management to intimidate me into just doing my job and shutting up, but my moral fibers are coming apart knowing that my boss's boss and her boss are kicking another VERY GOOD employee out of the door. The solution long-term is to leave. But I so want to ... attempt to give my perspective. I just don't think it will be in my best interest.
  12. Dilly

    head engaged?

    Dilly replied to rocio's topic in Pregnancy

    I wanna hear what the midwife says today.
  13. Dilly
    I must be different. I suppose I have a very long torso, but my baby hasn't really made me feel that uncomfortable. It's weird. I wish she'd kick me so hard sometimes that I'd let out an audible OUCH!!! And I do let out the audible ouches, but really only because I want to communicate to my boyfriend that she's alive and well. But then I tell him that it really wasn't as bad as I thought. I just hope she's strong. She doesn't really seem to be all that feisty.
  14. Dilly
    Yeah, I think using a second middle name sounds pretty reasonable at this point. That, or hyphenating. My parents would be happy if it's at least part of her name.
  15. Dilly
    I get it now. From your first post, I wasn't quite sure what you meant. This makes more sense to me. It is pretty interesting. So looking back, you like using the middle name more? ORRRRR would you just elect to go with your mother's last name? What if my child decides she likes his last name and not mine or my last name and not his? I just don't want to impose anything on her. She's an individual and should be givent he right to decide. I wouldn't impose a religion on her either. That's her decision. I just want to present her with some idea of where she comes from. Since the convention currently is for her father and I to have a last name, maybe someday she can arrive at her own last name. I'm sure my partner would encourage her to create one if she so desired. I guess kids never get to decide their names, otherwise we wouldn't name them until they were five or six and they'd dub themselves after their favorite candy or animal or star. HA!!!
  16. Dilly
    Good points Iceman! You're right, what happens with her children ---- By that time, kids will go by their social security numbers or national identifying number....hahahaha. I guess just like my parents are leaving it up to me to come up with my own rules for naming my children, my child will have to do the same.
  17. Dilly
    This is how I feel. I anticipate that hyphenation will become more of a common practice and my family name, though boring, conveys lineage that I'm very proud of and while my partner's last name is intriguing, he has little to do with his paternal family now and has over the last two years seriously contemplated a name change (full name change). Nonetheless, I like his last name and I like mine. We'll see.
  18. Dilly
    ASH!!! I love your feedback... Please do not hold back!!! You are a great voice on this forum!!! Thank you for the food for thought and the interesting perspective on initials spelling out words! You and your wife are so cute!!!
  19. Dilly
    Another thought on this - hyphenation allows both of us to recognize our families with a single last name. It's very cumbersome, but so is having a child out of marriage. Maybe not cumbersome, but different. Lots of women say, just give the child your last name. I wish I could ask for opinions on that? Is that respectful to the father, to the child (to assume the mother's name only)? Look, I know there are many situations, but in a partnership where both members of the couple are content with the idea of splitting responsibilities in raising the child, it seems like it also seems like a good idea to give the child both party's last names. To each their own, I guess. I started thinking that even though my last name is ordinary, it's still my heritage and my family is very important to me. Losing that is troubling. But I guess the norm is to lose half of your lineage if you follow the rule of assuming the husband's last name anyway. Uggg.
  20. Dilly
    I think I may hyphenate the last name. I just think it's fair. I think it's awkward, but fair. My friend pointed out to me however that a hyphenated last name MAY suggest that we are a family unit. I disagree to some extent in that to me, it suggests the child's lineage. Being somewhat objective and liberated and not wanting to leave facts out of the picture, I think a hyphenated last name accurately recognizes both sides of the family and part of me likes that. I have not discussed this with my partner, but I can not see that he would have any real objections to it.
  21. Dilly
    THANKS FOR ALL THE FEEDBACK, ITG, RayKay, Beec, and Carnelian!!! I may resolve this at the midnight hour. I HATE hyphenated names, but even my own boyfriend wanted to change his last name. We like his lst name, but... gosh, I don't know. Mine is very ordinary and his is very unnusual and well, I guess I'm just confused. I don't have one problem taking my daughter's opinion into consideration when she's old enough!!! Both her father and I agree if she doesn't like her name, she can change it.
  22. Dilly
    HAHAHA! THANKS!!! A couple middle names, why not???
  23. Dilly
    Hazey, that's what I was thinking too! And Ash, I thought about what you said but mine is a basic name (no virtue to it at all) so I wouldn't want to waste a middle name by using it as a placeholder - Know what I mean? Fortunately, I having a girl and she can change her name when she gets married and if she wants to dump one when she's old enough to make those decisions on her own, fine. Still partial to the idea of giving her HIS last name, but many people have advised me to consider otherwise.
  24. Dilly
    I have a preference to use my boyfriend's last name, but have thought many times that it may not be fair to cut my last name out (to me and my family). Do you think it's cumbersome to give a baby a hyphenated last name?
  25. Dilly
    I am going to try to get one, I was really nervous about the baby's position this week. I thought if I had a fetoscope I could check for the position of the chest by following heartbeats. I thought she flipped back over into breech mode. All I felt was a hard large ball of flesh under my ribs and I think it was the head. So I lifted my pelvis in the air for about 30 minutes and woke up the next day and felt that lovely foot protruding from under my right rib cage the next day after feeling hiccups down below my belly button later that night. JUST LOVELY!!! Now, I feel here hands (finger like light movements) all the time down near my pubic bone and lots of soft movements when she moves her elbows and then, the occasional kick. But all in all, I'm not THAT impressed with her strength. She doesn't hit or punch hard... not a complaint, but she STRETCHES hard - when she's stretching, it's really kind of a stretch for me as well. THAT is impressive. She rarely brings me much discomfort, but she's definitely active.
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