Sputnik

Sun_Kissed, I started at age 13. It was unpredictable for the first year or two, but it's been pretty regular for a while now. Thank you all very much for the advice!

Okay, I'm hesitant to go to a doctor about this because I'm super-shy about doctors. (We haven't had a family doctor since I was very young and lived in another city, so I'm reeeeally uncomfortable with the thought of some stranger fiddling around with my bits.) This is a period question. Yucky and probably WAY too graphic for the faint of heart, but it's worrisome enough for me to post this. This problem started in March. Every second month (March, May, and now July) I've had incredibly light periods. They're fairly punctual, but they only last for a couple of days before petering out -- and after only a few drops of thick, dark brown blood coming out! On the months between (April and June), I've had nice normal periods. I'm sixteen, not having sex, and I'm not on the pill or any other medication. The only thing I've found out is that it's called hypomenorrhea -- and even beloved, reliable Wikipedia doesn't have an entry on it. It's very difficult to find even a vague article about it! Has anyone else experienced this? I'd love a recommendations for an online expert in women's health that I could ask about it. (Haven't been able to find any that don't seem flaky and Martha Stewart-y.) Any answers are welcome and VERY appreciated!

I've heard a lot of stuff like this (i.e., sperm live for half an hour after oxygen exposure, or for only five minutes, or for their full five days even while outside the body, and so on), and it kind of makes me wonder just how much of it is dangerous urban legend. It doesn't seem to make sense - wouldn't sperm be exposed to molecules of oxygen from the body and bloodstream even while being formed in the testes? Where'd you hear this?

Great question! I've had the same thing on my mind for a while... All the adults who I've talked to say that IUDs are definitely the way to go, too. They're quite inexpensive in the long run, easy to use, and safe as hell. But is it true that IUDs are not recommended for people who haven't had sex before? It mentioned that on a website detailing how the hormonal IUD Mirena works. Just wondering if anyone had any more info on that.

That's a difficult situation... it's hard to say if she's uninterested or just shy. Is she a shy, polite person by nature, or is her behavior out of character? You could just ignore her and just see what happens, or you could talk to her about it. If you confront her and tell her that you want to get closer, don't be afraid; if she's sincerely interested in pursuing this with you, she won't get scared off!

Great idea, good for them!

Oooh! Good survey, and a controversial question... Being North American, I can think of a lot of men who would feel awkward and even embarrassed by being proposed to by a woman. I certainly don't mean to imply that those men are domineering pigs; far from it. Like the vast majority of people in the world, they've been raised in a society that thrived on sexist principles for centuries. (I don't say that meaning to sound like a feminazi, but it's true.) While lots of women feel strongly about their rights and would feel quite comfortable proposing, super-masculine boyfriends might feel insulted or intimidated. On the other hand, a lot of more liberal guys might love the idea of it and would find it very sweet and romantic. It all depends on the couple. While society is changing rapidly with the massive progression of feminism, this is still one barrier it hasn't really overcome. All of that said, to hell with religious marriage. Commonlaw all the way.

I don't know how to begin to tell my parents this, let alone my very loving boyfriend/best friend with whom I share everything. This is the first thing I've ever kept from him. I'm about to turn seventeen years old. I'm learning how to drive, I get good grades, and I'm even thinking about getting married in a few years. I'm usually very positive but am usually an exceptionally private person, and some of the details of what I'm about to share are unbelievably embarrassing to me. I'm just beginning to realize that my health is seriously in danger, and there's this sort of cold numbness that comes with that realization. I don't know how to deal with this. I have to tell someone, and I have to get help right away. I think I have cancer. I have a growth on my anus which is probably cancerous, although if luck holds it'll be benign. It's about a centimeter long. This is not a genital wart or STD-related; this developed before I came into sexual contact with anyone. The reason I believe that it's becoming cancerous is because of the symptoms that are coming with it. There's blood in my stool and its frequency is changing. The thought of going to a doctor is unbelievably humiliating, but there's nothing else I can do at this point. I'd rather be embarrassed than die young from something that I might be able to prevent. Maybe it's a little soon to be jumping to conclusions, but I've looked everywhere for an alternative. It's almost undoubtedly anal cancer. The statistics are on my side and I know that I just have to stay positive to get through this. It's getting so difficult to stay cheerful, though, and the thought of talking to my parents and my boyfriend about it is awful. I don't have anything to fear from my family. They'll stick with me through anything. I'm not religious, but I can recognize a blessing like that. I felt that I had to talk to someone about this, though, and I'm not ready for it to be the people I love the most in the world. To hurt them like that would be unforgivable. I need to get this out of me, but to be anonymous about it... and I guess that's why I'm here. If anyone has any advice, stories to share, or even prayer to offer, thank you so much.

Thank you all so much for your advice -- it means a lot.

When I was about thirteen, my parents went on a business trip for two weeks. They left my older sister and I in the care of a close family friend named "Wayne." Wayne is a pleasant, cheerful, plump guy in his forties who is excellent with children, so he seemed to be the ideal choice to take care of us. One night, I was playing a computer game in my room. Wayne came inside to watch me and sat on a chair behind me. He gave me a hug... and his hands lingered, and slid downwards. I was scarcely into my teens and was right in the bloom of puberty, and I had just begun to "sprout." He cupped my breasts and began to fondle me. I had never even been kissed before! This made me pretty uncomfortable, and I squirmed out of his grasp. He touched me again, but stopped soon. I don't know how far he would have gone if I hadn't shown him that I was uncomfortable. Bear in mind that my shirt and bra were on, but nonetheless, it was a form of sexual abuse. The rest of the two weeks went fine, and my parents came home from their trip shortly after the incident. I never told them. I'm seventeen now and still in contact with Wayne. We've never mentioned the incident to each other (or anyone else), and he never did it again. I haven't told anyone about my experience until now. What should I do? Should I tell anyone, or stay quiet? It was four years ago, but sometimes I still feel uncomfortable when my boyfriend touches my breasts. He and I have been together for most of a year and we trust each other a lot, but I can't bring myself to talk about it with him and betray Wayne like that. Thanks for any advice you can offer me. Sputnik