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ff7fan

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Everything posted by ff7fan

  1. ff7fan
    I do miss her - despite her habit of chewing on me as her way of playing, she is a snuggly little thing. My older cat always acted like she was a bother, but I think she misses her too because she's moping around the house now. I don't know how to call his mom without seeming like a psycho now, but I might this weekend.
  2. ff7fan
    I called his mom last night to ask her about it. She told me he's moving in with some drunk chick he met right after I kicked him out and that all they do is drink. She said that she told him the cat can stay at her house because she doesn't think they'll take care of it anyway, but he insisted he wanted to give her back to me. That makes me think that he's just using this as a way to keep a link going, like some of you said. I ended up telling her if she's willing to keep her then I don't want anything to do with it as long as she has a good home so tell him for me that I'll take a pass and I'd rather he doesn't call my house. I would love to take her but not if it means he's going to hold it over me somehow.
  3. ff7fan
    The ex finally contacted me, through voicemail that is. He left a message saying he is moving in with some girl and they can't take the cat so he said I can have her if I still want her. I don't know if it's for real or if he's trying to get to me by saying he's moving in with someone. As far as I'm concerned she can have his nasty butt, but I would like to have MY cat back. I think I'll call his mom and tell her if it's for real we can set up a time for me to get the cat but I don't want any contact with him. What do you think? Someone threw something at my house last weekend and then sped off, so I don't know if it was him trying to get to me and since he failed he's going to try to use the cat to lure me in, or what. The other development is I got asked out for Friday night. I said no thanks, not right now, but at least I know I'm not as undesirable as my ex tried to make me feel.
  4. ff7fan
    If you know for sure he's doing it, put him on the curb. If he knows it hurts you and he still does it, he'll never change and it will only get worse. I hate seeing you write the other girls are "not as ugly as me" ... girl, you are far from ugly! His actions are ugly, but you aren't. If he picks some online hoochie over you, he's not worth a minute more of your time. In reality he's probably chatting with some hairy old dude pretending to be a hot young thing anyway.
  5. ff7fan
    The guy who was ignoring you and being abusive is the guy he really is, so don't pay any attention to how he is when he's begging and pleading for you to stay. That is all BS. With my ex, I fell in love with who I thought he could be, not who he was. Take it from my experience...he's just going to turn right back into an a-hole the minute he gets you back, so don't let that happen.
  6. ff7fan
    Freezer vibes LOL - I keep thinking freezer burn! I have a few hobbies I need to catch up on. For now I can be lazy and read a book for hours, walk into my bedroom and not see his dirty stuff everywhere, and play a videogame anytime I want without worrying about anyone else. He used to always find a way to interrupt whatever I was doing and come up with something he needed so I'd have to stop doing what I was trying to do. I so do NOT miss that.
  7. ff7fan
    Thanks Dannysgirl I wouldn't be so far along without everyone on this board. I came in here still unsure as to whether I deserved the abuse or even if it is abuse. I knew how I felt but I was still making my decisions based on what HE wanted. It helped a lot to see others going through the same thing, not that I like to see anyone have to deal with this stuff but it helped me look at my own situation a little more objectively and gave me the courage to follow through with the decision that I had already been batting back and forth in my head for months. This Saturday it's girls' night out and I have a killer outfit planned I'm not interested in meeting anyone new for a long time but I do have a lot of friends I used to club with who I haven't seen more than once or twice a year since the plague came into my life and we have some catching up to do.
  8. ff7fan
    Things are much better now. The pets are gone and most of his stuff is gone. There are a few small boxes of miscellaneous crud that I found stashed away here and there and I put them in the basement. He's been over twice to pick things up and I managed to be gone both times with my friend's husband "housesitting" for me while the moron came over. The second time he had some skanky chick with him and my friend's husband made her sit on the couch and wouldn't let her walk around the house with my ex. I sprayed the couch down with lysol that night. Emotionally I feel okay, a little down because it's Valentine's Day but even though I haven't said much at work my friends have been popping in with candy and stuff all day so I guess they're trying to cheer me up.
  9. ff7fan
    He doesn't have to accept your reasons, it's out of his hands and he needs to get lost. If he keeps pressuring you, talk to your parents and get a restraining order. Don't talk to him and don't offer him any explanation or anything other than a blank look and walk away if he comes around asking whyyyyyyy again. He knows why, he just thinks he can hammer at you until you start thinking maybe he didn't do anything wrong after all and it's all your fault. Well, it's not! It's his fault and he needs a good kick in the * * *.
  10. ff7fan
    Shes2smart, thanks for posting that - I had my first laugh of the day I finally got ahold of his mom yesterday about him getting the rest of his stuff. She said he left Friday afternoon and didn't get back until yesterday morning and he was dead drunk and looks like he's been in a fight. I told her I'd start boxing stuff up but I wasn't going to hold onto it forever so if he doesn't get it out by Saturday I'm taking what I can to goodwill and the rest is going on the curb. I don't know what I'll do with the snakes, I can't just turn them loose. I hope they will just come and get it all this week so I can be done with this. She was kind of snotty to me on the phone so I think he probably told her a pack of lies about why I made him leave, that or she doesn't want him either. I don't know if he's here today or not but if he's not I guess he must have quit his job too. Loser.
  11. ff7fan
    If you possibly can get as much of the kids' things out as you can beforehand without him noticing just in case he decides to throw a fit and you have to leave some things behind at least they'll have their stuff and the transition won't be so rough on them.
  12. ff7fan
    Get rid of this guy before it gets worse, and it will get worse. Be careful how you do it though, you don't want to set him off. I'd make sure some other people were around and try to do it in a way that's not going to make him violent, although that might not be easy with this guy.
  13. ff7fan
    He won't let me keep the cat he got me as a present, I already know that for sure. I had a cat before we got together and I'll still have her. I would love to keep the other one. I'm afraid he'll neglect her but he'll take her just to spite me I'm sure. Right now I still have her and I guess I could say she's hiding when he comes to get her but he'd just come back later so I guess I have to let her go. I hope she scratches him.
  14. ff7fan
    Block his emails and turn off the phone or if you can't do that, hang up without saying a word to him. If he shows up at your house you can call the cops on him. Your parents getting mad at you is a small price to pay for getting rid of this stalker, and I'm sure they'll understand if you cut it off for good now.
  15. ff7fan
    So far I haven't seen him around work, I think he's probably skipping out. My car is parked where I can see it from my office window and I've been watching it a lot although he'd be stupid to try anything here since we have security all over the place. Last night my locks got changed so I can sleep better. I turned off the ringer on my phone and turned off my cell and I didn't have any messages this morning. I don't want to talk to him, at all. Last night when my friend's husband was changing the locks he said he has a couple friends he could bring over when the ex is getting his stuff and he thinks I should go somewhere else and not be here at the time, and it's probably more sensible than being there when he mopes around or throws a fit. He will NOT be able to get around these guys, one of them used to be in amateur fighting competitions and the husband of my friend is built like a tank. I hope he comes this weekend because if he hasn't picked up at least his snakes by Tuesday or Wednesday I'll have to feed them
  16. ff7fan
    She'll find out what he's really like when the honeymoon phase is over. You tried to warn her, that's all you can do.
  17. ff7fan
    As nasty as he can be he probably won't even notice.
  18. ff7fan
    He's gone as of yesterday. I finally lost it when he started talking about not having any money due to some bank errors in his accounts that he couldn't get them to straighten out. He was acting miserable and trying to get sympathy from me and went on and on about it for a week. I decided to check his bank account online since I have the password and he was right about one thing - he has no money. But it wasn't any bank error, it was mass purchases of online porn, porn on ebay, and porn from a local porn store in the past month. He spent an entire month's pay on porn. I bet he thought if he played the "no money" card I'd let him stay longer, but I was so mad I boxed up enough of his crummy clothes to last a week or so, threw the porn I could find inside and called his mom to see if she could get the box and then pick him up from work last night and she did. Shamefully (a little), I admit I threw a cat turd in the box too. I wrote him an email this morning and said he would have to make an appointment to get the rest of his sh*t and that I have friends who will be there when he does so don't try to start anything with me. My landlord can't get over to change the locks yet but he said my friend's husband can do it if I get the new locks so they're coming over tonight so he can put the new deadbolts on. I didn't sleep much last night because I heard every little sound but I propped up a glass jar of change on each doorknob so it would crash down and give me some warning if he tried to come in. I gotta say I feel relief. I'm going to take care of his snakes and rat until he can take them because I'm not heartless but I'm hoping he'll come get all his crap this weekend so I can clean everything that reminds me of him out of my house.
  19. ff7fan
    He has a lot of swords and knives that I probably should hide first. I just now thought about that. I don't really think he'll do anything physical and I have pepper spray in case he tries to get too close but I'll feel safer if the sharp objects are out of reach. I'm racking my brain to think of anything else I might be forgetting. I wonder if I should call his mother and tell her what's going on. She lives about 20 minutes away and we've always gotten along well. She might be able to keep him from doing something completely stupid.
  20. ff7fan
    I'm trying to find someone who can come over and be here when it goes down in case he goes crazy or something. I don't really know what to expect.
  21. ff7fan
    Edited to add: What am I forgetting? I know there has to be something. Arggh.
  22. ff7fan
    Yes, it's MY place. I've been looking around for a different place just in case he doesn't leave but there's nothing as nice for what I can afford to pay so I hope he just goes like he said he would. I'm going to talk to the landlord about it because when I first moved in he asked if I wanted him on the lease and I said no. He made a comment "oh, just in case it doesn't work out?" and I said yes. Since we moved in they've become friends but I think since I'm paying the rent and my name is on the lease they'd have to side with me. If not, I don't want to be here anyway. I have been there for almost 4 years and never been late on the rent and keep the place clean so they'll be losing a good tenant for a piece of scum if they side with him. He could never afford the place anyway. Everything's in my name except the utilities but I can get that changed easily enough I hope. I hope I don't need his cooperation for that.
  23. ff7fan
    Nope, it's not Matt...scares me that there are so many guys out there that do this My lease is up at the end of March and my landlord is a tyrant about those things so I would be out too much money if I just break the lease and move out. I have a nice place, well, it will be when pig man is out of it anyway, and it's a very safe neighborhood so I'd like to stay there and have him be the one to leave. He's not on the lease so I wonder if I could get the landlord to evict him if he doesn't leave on his own accord??
  24. ff7fan
    Thanks for the tip hosswhispra, I'll have to check out that book. I'm always having some kind of car glitch so it will come in handy. This weekend was quiet until last night when he decided to come in the bedroom at 11:30 and turn on a videogame. I had cleaned the house and babysat for a toddler and an 8 month old most of the day so I was tired and was trying to go to sleep. I had to ask him twice to go downstairs and play. First time he ignored me, the second time he threw the controller accross the room putting a knick in the wall (I guess I'd better find a home repair for dummies too). He said he doesn't like to go to bed before 1:00 and all I did was ask him to please go downstairs and play then, I was tired. I was afraid of starting a big fight that would keep me up all night so I didn't say anything else to him then but I'm going to tell him he has to get out before March because I can't deal with it until then. I'm just glad I thought to have his name taken off my bank account last week. We had a joint account but it's all my money that goes in there and he was just on there for convenience sake and never really used it unless I asked him to write a check or go to the ATM for me, but I'd rather be safe than sorry. Today of course he's trying to act nice again and I'm trying to avoid him.
  25. ff7fan
    I don't think I'm ready to take on an oil change yet, but I did replace a relay in my car that was causing my wipers to not work, another thing he couldn't figure out how to do and told me I'd never be able to do it. I went online and asked a car repair guy where to look and he told me where the chart was on my car and it took some doing because it was in a tight spot but thank god I have small hands and managed to get the darn thing snapped in place. Saved myself a trip to the auto shop where they would have charged me an hour labor to do it He got drunk at home last night, not nasty drunk but talkative drunk. He talked nonstop about himself and all the good things he's doing at work and how good he's doing in school until it made me want to smack him upside the head and scream shut up! But, I didn't. All he managed to do was make me see even more how annoying he really is. I hope everyone's having a great weekend without stress. Today I'm going shopping for some movies to send to a friend in Iraq, then I'm going to hole up and finish reading the book I started last weekend. He's working half day today and all day tomorrow and I'm looking forward to the peace and quiet.
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