heavensent

Thanks guys...my husband and I are buying bikes so we can go riding together and I've already started doing Yoga which is actually a great workout. I just want my thighs to be toned up like before, they aren't horrible and my husband thinks I'm crazy for thinking that they are getting fat but I just really want to stay small. I also want to get my legs strong again for wakeboarding.

What's the best workouts to tone your thighs??? I really want to tone them up to get ride of the small amount of cellulite that us girls have to face!!! But I don't want to gain any inches with muscle, I wouldn't even mind losing an inch on them. Any ideas are appreciated! Thanks!

I love all the feedback you guys have given me. Plus I did think about my husband thinking I want attention from other guys and I truly think he does feel that way. I guess I want them bigger so I can feel like more of a woman and not a little girl. I do have very perky boobs and I have a nice body so I have no idea why I would have a reason to change it. Especially since my husband thinks I'm sexy as hell the way I am. I guess I should think about this a little more. Plus, I really do think I will wait until after children. I don't want to take the chance of not being able to breastfeed my children...that's an incredible bonding experience and I want to have that with my kids. Thanks for all your inputs guys!!

lol hmm no positive feedback thus far huh. My husband feels the same way, he doesn't want me to get them at all.

LOL!!! that's so funny...I would never go topless regardless of having implants or not.

Definitely call her back. She was trying to show interest in you. It's like you asking someone what their family is like and what kind of car they drive and stuff and them just answering without wanting to know the same things about you....she didn't do that. SHe wanted to get to know you better which shows a lot of interest.

Okay, so lately I've been thinking about getting implants. What's your guys' thoughts on this. All different views and statements are wanted. I thought of waiting until after children but I don't plan on being done having children for at least ten years and I really don't want to wait that long. Also, I only want to go one cup size bigger, I just want them to be fuller..I hate huge boobs and I'm really skinny so that would throw me off balance anyway. Anyway, anyone who has gotten them that wants to give their input would be good too.

He really isn't bad at handling money. Before he met me he would pay his credit card off in full every month. The only reason we are having problems now is because of the wedding, honeymoon, ring and all the new furniture we needed to buy to furnish our place since it was both our first times moving out of our home. It all just accrued all at once. I don't have bad spending habits anymore either and we are living comfortably and paying our bills fine but he wants to earn a bunch of money and just flat out pay them off all at once and then save up a bunch for a down payment. We would be able to do that really fast if we didn't have rent and utilities and groceries. We would probably end up living there for 6-8 months and then buying our own house.

Lol yes he did spend that much on my ring. It's my dream ring and he knew it, I had no idea he was getting it for me though. He put $4,000 cash down on the ring and we still owe 3k on it. I'm the one who holds most of the debt though lol, I had a little shopping problem there and used credit cards that I shouldn't have. He does not want to live off his dad by any means, he is making his own money working under a top stock trader doing articles for his webpage etc. But he is also working side by side with his dad. They are trying to launch a new company and he is also a stock trader advisor. He is not lazy or dependent on his dad but he does want to get ahead. He wants to make a hefty down payment or even buy our house cash and he thinks that he really can do that if he is working there all the time. Right now we live 2 hours from his dads house, that's 4 hours of drive time a day. Apartment and homes in the area his dad lives in are double what we are paying now so we couldn't afford to live in our own place there. Basically he just wants to create a stable financial future for us. I think some of you are getting the wrong idea that he may be lazy or something and that's truly not the case.

I am going to school full time and working full time. The dreams that he has of going places wouldn't work if I had an employer. I would have to take weeks off at one time all the time. He works for himself and his dad and can take whatever time he wants off. He is getting really sad about our debt becuase he bought me a ten thousand dollar wedding ring and we are still trying to pay that off a long with all the brand new furniture we bought to furnish our place. Plus our credit card bills from before we met. We do have a lot more debt than we should, especially at our young age. I think he wants to move in so we can just get all of that paid off. It means so much to him, he has so much ambition to be successful and he feels that this would help us move forward a lot faster. I really live for his happiness and if he is happy I figure I'll be happy too. I am fearful of the whole in-law situation...but then again this house is a mansion, I'd probably rarely run into them haha.

He sounds like a complete loser!! But then again, I dated an abusive guy for 3 years and for some unknown reason I stayed too...plus when I broke up with him I went BACK. Sometimes love is just blind and we can never see how unhealthy or unright things are from the inside of the relationship, mostly because we just don't want to. You should be greatful that this new girl is has taken your place of misery. Sure that doesn't make it easier to get over him but you need to love YOURSELF and realize how much better you really deserve. Try to avoid him and her all together. If the topic of them comes up then you need to leave the room or tell your friends that you'd rather they didn't talk about them while you were around. You need to get out and have fun, keep yourself super busy and avoid doing things that will remind you of him. Don't date yet as you are clearly not healed from the breakup, but you can go out with groups of friends and maybe try to find a new fun hobby. Do things that make you feel better about yourself, that make you feel happy, and of worth. As time goes by it will get easier and once you reach that blissful happiness you will wonder how you ever let him get the best of you. Trust me, you will get past this but you have the help yourself. Thinking about him and dwelling on him will not work. Good luck hun!

Okay, so I'm sure some of you remember my post of my husband and how his dad just launched a new product and is bringing in millions of dollars from it. Well, so my husband was asking me the other day how I'd feel about moving in with his dad and not working for awhile so he could start working on some new products with his dad and we wouldn't have to worry about bills. He basically wants to start making a ton of money as well so we can buy our own huge house and boat and things of that sort. His dad is buying a huge 3.2 million dollar house so we would have our own bedroom, bathroom, kitchen and everything in the downstairs of this house, practically like our own apartment. However, I do not get along with his dad or brother too well so I'm afraid of the tension this may cause. I know it's important to my husband and I know he feels that right now my job is holding us back from having a ton of experiences he wants to have (i.e. traveling a ton). I don't mind leaving my job, it's not what I want to pursue as a carreer anyway, it's just something while I'm going to college. Plus there are upsides, I could concentrate on school and get my degree a ton faster if I'm not working and we could save up a lot of money for our own home. I just don't want this to be a permanant thing, just because his dad has all of this money I still want to be independent and have a life of our own. What do you guys think I should do??? Do you think that moving in would HELP our relationship or HURT it?? Or neither..

Yeah, but I guess I don't understand why we can't make all of those memories together and experience all of those things together. It's not like we have children. Why the heck would he have to be single to do things that he wants..it's not like none of them include women, ya know? I think he just feels like I don't WANT to do those things, but I do...I've just been raised to be more traditional and rational thinker than to just think I will be rich, he has a different mind-set than me but I think that we more balance each other out than anything.

I might add...he has always wanted to learn how to fly a helicopter so today I called and booked him a helicopter ride for tomorrow after work...they are going to take him up and even let him fly it himself...it's a surprise so he doesn't know about it. I also got a card that says "Just a small part of helping your dreams come true...I love you"

I think he just saw how great his dad is living and he wants to be a part of it. He is such an ambitious guy and when I met him he was raking in all sorts of money on his own business at only 20 years old. When we moved out we had a ton of internet problems where we couldn't get high-speed internet at our house and so he didn't have a way to work for 3 months, he ended up losing a bunch of clients and instead of having his own business he is working under his dad (who also owns his own business) I almost feel as if he blames me because we moved out and ever since he has had a hard time building something back up. He still brings in good money but he doesn't want to be paid by his dad...he wants his own company again. I have been nothing but supportive about this so I guess I don't understand why he would act like I just want him to be some 9-5er. All I want to do is help him make his dreams come true...even if they weren't MY dreams before, they are mine now because they are his. How can I make him understand that I will do everything in my power to help his succeed and help him get everything and more that he is capable of....

My husband has been acting very weird lately. He was saying something the other day about how he wants it all...he wants the huge mansion and the houses in all sorts of places, 2 boats, a ton of toys and everything. When he said that I just said "Yeah that would be nice but I'm perfectly content with having a nice house and being financially stable." This seemed to bother him and he went on and on about how I don't dream BIG and that we have different dreams and stuff. He said how he wants to travel with his family and my job doesn't allow me to take that much time off and stuff. It really made me feel like I'm just holding him back from things he wants to do. Then he said that maybe he just wasn't ready to be tied down!! He wasn't trying to break up but what he said really bothered me and makes me think that maybe he's not ready to be married. The thing that sparked this is his dad (which by the way, we do not get along) well, his dad is making an enormous amount of money now and is well on his way to being a multi-millionaire within a few months because of this stock trading thing he is doing. He just bought a houseboat for the family which is super nice and SUPER expensive and my husband was all excited..until I told him I wasn't sure if I could get two weeks off work to go. I think he is seeing his dad buy all of these things and it's making him want to be a part of it but now he's married and living with me and he's not a kid anymore. He has two little brothers still living at home and his dad has already taken them to Paris and Florida on family vacations that my husband and I didn't go on. I think he feels left out. I really don't want him to pull away from me or decide he wants out of this marriage because he thinks he is missing out. I mean, sure I could let him go on some vacations without me but with how much his family is wanting to travel he would be gone almost 3 weeks out of every month and so what kind of marriage would that be if we were never with each other??? We can't afford for me to quit my job and he works for his dad so it wouldn't make a difference for him to miss work because his dad would pay him anyway. What do you think I should do???

Very good point you guys. I will make sure that I am paying attention to the good things he does instead of always focusing on the bad. Thanks a lot!

You're right I don't want to be like that for him...but if I hold things in instead of talking with him then won't it make me more upset and eventually I'll explode? I just don't want to make myself unhappy in the process of trying to make him happy.

There is nothing wrong with asking him not to look at porn anymore..especially if he has already said he understands and is ok with not using it. Be open with him about your feelings and hopefully he will do some things to make you feel better about things I know exactly how you feel. However, I do find myself attractive but I am still intimidated by other girls that may have something I don't, like bigger boobs. I told my husband how I feel about him seeing other girls and he makes a very big effort like if a girl dressed scandalous comes on a tv commercial or something, he will look away from the tv and kiss me or something until it's off the tv. It's actually very comforting to me because I know that he doesn't care to see that stuff and he has proven it to me. Jealousy is a really hard thing to control, I still haven't figured it out...so if you do, be sure to let me know HOW!!

Hmmm, good question..I'd probably say about 2 times a week. I worry a little too much like if he doesn't text me for 3 hours I wonder if he's upset at me for some reason so I'll ask him about it..but I don't really discuss it a TON

I wish I could but he works an hour away from here at his dad's office (it's in the city he used to live in before we were married) and I work in the city we live in now. I wouldn't be able to travel an hour to go to the gym every morning and then an hour back to work. If I could go wtih him I'd be ok with it. Especially because if his ex tried to confront him or anything I would be there and would feel a lot more comfortable. He complains about how he's not as muscular as he used to be, and I feel out of shape too so I want to go to the gym as well...I guess I just don't understand why he wouldn't want to go here with me and then shower and we could both go to work??? Isn't that kind of a compromise? lol

I like when my husband initiates sex right when I get home from work. I am still awake and up and about. After I have made dinner, and started to relax and watch my tv shows, I'm less likely to be in the mood to go at it. So, try to do it early not when you're all ready for bed she thinks it's SLEEP time.

You're right, sometimes when he tells me things I refuse to compromise so maybe he just feels as if he is not getting anywhere by telling me so he might as well just keep it to himself. Would if he tells me that something is bothering him because I don't like him to do something he wants to do...but at the same time I feel very strongly about it, how do I handle that if I really can't be happy if I compromise??? Like, he used to go to the gym his ex works at and she would email him all the time and tell him how good he looked..I told him I didn't feel comfortable with him going to that gym and he understood and stopped going...now we are married he tells me he wants to start going there again every morning and I've asked him to go to a gym with me instead and he says that it's not the same because I don't play basketball or raquetball like the guys do. I really don't want him going, he really wants to ... what do I do about that?

Okay, well from a woman's perspective... How are you making the move to initiate sex? Are you slowly sensually giving her a massage and then kissing her back and then carrassing her? Sometimes when I women is tired you need to initiate sex in a very soft non-aggressive way. (At least that works for me.) However, if she still doesn't want to have sex, don't get MAD at her. I hated that. It makes her feel like all you want her for is sex and that hurts, it just makes her less likely to want to the next night. Surprise her and simply say "Okay, I understand, but get lots of rest tonight because I'm taking you tomorrow" in a sexual teasing way. I'm sure that she will be up for it the next day. It's all in your reaction.

I am a newlywed and I know that communication is a key factor in a relationship. However, my husband is NOT good at this. If something bothers me I am always quick to unload it on him and tell him why it bothers me. If something bothers him he just gets a little distant and keeps it in, he won't talk to me about it. It's hard for me to fix anything that I'm doing wrong if he just holds it all inside. How can I compromise or change if I don't know what's bothering him? I have talked to him about this and told him that he needs to tell me right when it happens so we can work something out at that time because I'm so afraid that he'll let me do whatever I want and he will do whatever I ask him or tell him to do because he wants to make me happy. But while trying to make ME happy, and keeping things in, it's going to push him away and make HIM UN-happy. Make sense? I just don't want this to happen. How can I get him to actually STAND UP to me when I do something he doesn't agree with or tell him I don't want him to do something he feels he really wants to do??? I don't want this lack of communication to tear us apart.