lovecrazy

Well last night took the cake, my step father basically told me I was no good, said the same for my sister. I explained above the reasons why. He can go up to Michigan and stay out of our lives. Will work great for me. So I left my house at 11 pm and came to stay at my boyfriends house, until he is gone. Which hopefully will be ok with his mother. I am honestly not sure. Anyways I am fine with it, I got to see the true side of him, and I dont wnat anything to do with him. end of story. Thanks again for your help.

My step father is strange at times. He is amanic Depressive, which basically means a chemcial imbalance in his brain, and he isnt on meds. Which honestly in my opinon he is better off the meds, then he is on them. I was sitting around thinking yesterday about past times that he has done this. And I could only think of one. And it was back in 1998 when he wasnt working, and was feeling sorry for himself, that he started acting about the same way. He did get on his meds, and became some what violent, because the Dr. gave him too much of a doseage. And it back fired. and his brain wasnt operating correctly...He didnt get to where he was abour to kill us. But he did leave bruises on my sister and I. I have tackled him to stop him from going after my sister. (btw this was in 1998) After that he left for close to a year, and it was a very peaceful time. But honestly it was too stable for my taste. My family always moves every year to few years. And it was always nice to start over in a new place. My step dad may be crazy but he is the best man in the world. He I think right now, since he isnt working as good as he used to, he is becoming cooky again. Honestly not sure what to do. He is strange at times, but harmless. My mother wasnt trying to be mean about what he was feeling. She also told me my step dad feels like my sister and I havent grown up. Since I was 17 I have been paying for my own bills, clothes food. and rent when I could afford it. My mother hasnt really demanded of me to pay rent. Just for the stuff I want. examples: car, insurance, cell phone, clothes etc. My sister when she was around 17 would have my mother put a car in her name, then not pay for it. She would say she was going to work but then would be at home sleeping or going out with her friends. My sister got into trouble with the law...which honestly it was BS. and my step dad paid off her probation. She did get married, and my parents had to bail her out of that. She doesnt pick the best boyfriends, guys who abuise her, or cheat on her. Also she would never keep a job, always sleeping in being late for work. When she got married she would go to work, and was at the same job for almost 3 years, but then she started going out all the time, and getting behind on her car payment, and then she wouldnt go to work on time, so they fired her. She has helped ruin my mothers credit. She was out of work for about 2 months. She finally found a job, but its hard to wake her up. She has a problem with over sleeping. Kind of a family curse, I guess... As for me, I have a problem with speeding tickets. The last two I have gotten, the fines were close to $1000.00 and my step dad had to help me with those. And I have thanked him....Told him I would work for him to pay him back. And he refused, just told me not to let it happen again. I have tried to stay out of trouble with speeding tickets, and I have a led foot. I need to have a talk with my sister, about her job, and working habits. I have talked with her before. Honestly I feel its time, that her and I move out, and let our parents have a life. I have been wanting to move out, and get on my own, and I can in June. My sister, has to get her bills caught up, and then she can move out eventually. I have told my mother, that I will get another job to help pay the rent for June, and get us straightened out. Just working 4 jobs is going to suck. I have a full time job Mon-Fri, then on Saturday and Sunday I work at a resturant. Then I have an on call job, that I work at maybe 2-3 times a month. Then this job, wil be in the evening. So lord, this month should be fun. Anyways, I know you are thinking my family is crazy, and disfuntional and actually that is the correct word for my family. But it hasnt been all that bad. Anyways everyone thanks for listening.

Hoenstly not sure...I believe he will end up staying up there for a few months, then asking to come back....so I am not sure what to expect!

Sorry I meant to say, I dont want him to leave, but who am I to stop him from leaving. When he wants to be near his kids. He has been a big part of my life since I was 7 and I love him dearly. He should know how much he does mean to me, I have told him plenty of times.

Goodfun88 I believe you just put it the right way. Which I agree 100% thank you!

Is it true that all relationships take work? Should a relationship be no work or little work if that? I have discussed this with a few other people that relationships that require a bunch of work, arent worth it. But I have to disagree with that statement. Just because everything in today's society takes work. All types of relationships take work. Mother daughter, mother son, father son, brother sister, father daughter, friendships. Marriages. Honestly if you tell me a relationship is suppose to be easy I feel you are living in a fantasy world. Please discuss....enlighten me!

Honestly I feel that the in laws are your family, but you only married your husband. If it were me, I would honestly put the women in her place. But do it, nicely. Just tell her that you dont like how she treats, you, and ask your husband to stick up for you. He is your husband, and you should come before his mother since the moment he said I do. I feel that way, but that is just me. People interruptation of marriage is different.!

Well I am honestly not sure if I do want to speak with him. His kids are well over the age of 30, My sister and I are ages 24 and 22. So we are his youngest. But honestly if he wants to leave who am I to stop him. I honestly feel he should do what he thinks is best for him. I just want everyone to be happy. And honestly its probably best its just My mother, my sister and I. We have always been great the 3 of us. Most of my mother doing the work, since we were only kids when this started. If I were to speak with my step dad, then I would do or say something I might regret. And honestly I really just want him to be gone. I can take care of my mother by myself. And help her buy a house, and a new car. With hard work, and plenty of hours. It can be done hopefully by the end of the year. Anyways I hope everyone has a wonderful day!

My mother said something like he feels we dont love him, or something...But me always saying I love you, or something along those lines, doesnt show it...I hug the man....and bring him stuff when he needs it....I am not sure about my Mother and His relationship...I just know she never wanted to get married, so that might have helped with his decision....also He does miss his kids, and grand kids, which I completely understand. And honestly If my mother isnt happy here she should do what is best for her. My sister and I will do fine on our own...Although she wont go because of us. I know that for a fact. But I honestly dont know what to do.....I have barely spoken to him since I got home on Sunday.

Well a little background info! My father left us when I was 6 years old, died when I was 10. My step father came into my life when I was I believe 7....and he has been here ever since....And now he is leaving. We live in Georgia, orginally we are all from Michigan, and moved down here about 8 years ago. Well my step father has 4 sons of his own, who all live in Michigan, and he wants to be near his kids. So he is leaving for good as far as I know. My mother and step father never married. So no divorce, just a clean break. But it honestly hurts. This man has been in my life for half of my life. He raised be as his own, and now he is leaving. That really does hurt. I am mad, upset, and sad all at the same time. Now since he is leaving my mother is afraid she will have to get a second job to afford to live in the house we are currently in. It is My Mother, sister, and I living in this house. I have had finacial trouble myself, which I recently just declared bankruptcy, due to owing 6 grand on a car that was totalled....my sister lost her job, and is behind on her bills, She found a new job, and has been working she should be getting her first check soon, but as of right now she now she cant afford to help out. I myself, will not be able to either....until June when I have paid off all the lawyers... So right now I guess this is just a rant, of sadness. It really does hurt that I have ever father figure leave. I am starting to feel like I did when my father left. I had issues...although I was 6 but still...emotional problems seem to come easy to me. I am afraid this will affect more of my life. I dont trust men because of my father, things he did, and didnt do. I have a hard time trusting anyone for that matter. So that does creat problems in my relationships with boyfriends. I doubt it will have any effect on Win and I. At least I am hoping. I am afraid I will start to question everything about my existence. So please some advice...or even a Hey you will be ok would be great.... basically I am upset because the only father I have ever known is leaving and it really does hurt. I can see the worry and pain in my mothers eyes...And I am afraid I cant stop that. I am afraid that I will have to get a 3rd job to help with the bills. Becuase my mother is 62 years old and doesnt need to kill herself over rent. I am 22 and more able to do longer hours of work. So as her daughter, I will help as much as I can. Anyways thanks for your help/advice...its has helped in the past...Everyone have a great night!

Vin Diesel! Yum! Oh and Paul Walker!

The best tools for the job? I have always had this exit only policy, but recently have though about trying it...I am seriously scared that it will hurt way to much suggestions please! And thanks!

Well it doesnt seem like you are over reacting. I just wouldnt go off on him and expode on something like this. Sounds like you crave more attention. Or maybe you two should have set times, that you do this and that. Tell him to pick times for his favorite show, so you can do something else. Usually doing the same thing all the time gets old very quickly at least for me. My boyfriend and I usually spend most of time together on the weekends! Because we too live so far apart. But our jobs are about 30 minutes away from each other. So I try and have lunch with him at least once a week, and stay at his house once or twice during the week. He used to always play World Of Warcraft. And I would sit there bored out of my mind. Finally after about amonth of this. I told him it was getting on my nerves, and that he needed to figure out what he was going to do to give me the attention I wanted and needed to be satisfied. I wouldnt just say its getting on your nerves. I would just simply say something like "Honey I think we need to do something different, maybe go out to eat tonight with this and that. I understand him having a job and working alot. With my boyfriends job he is on call sometimes, and he was this past weekend, we still were able to go out, but he was always on the phone. Which was kind of annoying, but I tolerate it becasue it is his job. If that is how he makes money, and he is always responsible then there is nothing wrong with it. Maybe a 9-5 job isnt him at all. And if you guys were to get married he would be able to take care of the kids during the day as well as do his "job" that he has now. So I mean his job isnt all that bad, just sounds like he needs to only give you small doses of it at once. ya know? Just try talkint to him about limiting the Money Market TV shows. or being on his computer!

You know my boyfriend has used the "its your problem, not mine" but not to something like that. There is a girl, I dont like him talk to period. And I have expressed it. And she only calls once a month, and you know its still annoying. but he knows not to hang out with her. Honestly part of it could be insecurities on your part. But it also sounds like he is hiding something. And it could be innocent. I honestly am not sure what to go with on this one. Maybe you can suggest trainging together, maybe if they do just a run, instead of a bike ride. Until you are able to get the money together. I would just suggest that you say somthing like "Hey how about we all do a "run" and hang out together, so I can get to know her better. That way you dont have to deal with my insecurities. And Honestly to me if he refusing, sounds like to me he is hiding something. Regardless of you guys being together a long time or not. If he was serious about you, he would try his hardest to make you feel comfortable. And as RayKay pointed out scarficing yourself to be the "ideal girlfriend" never works out. Been there done that. Ended badly. I speak up with I feel wronged, rather I am right or over reacting. I still do it. Sometimes I have over reacted for no reason, but I still express my feelings about everything. Im sorry but if you cant express anything to your boyfriend, then I dont know if the relationship has a good base. Please keep us updated on what is going on!

I agree he was extremely selfish, and just a plain jerk for saying it the way he did. He has apologized for the way he said it. We sat and talked last week that basically he feels our sex life as gone from WHOO HOO! To Wam Bam Thank You Ma'am, now I am going to bed. No advetnure. With my boyfriend, he is not good at sugar coating things sometimes. Which neither, am I. But basically we would do our thing, and go to bed. No fun, it was like a chore. Which lately here the past few months, I have been in pain, My OB told me around December of 05 that my uterus was swollen, and put me on meds to see if it would get back to normal size. Which when it was swollen sex was hurting, so it just turned me off. So we only had sex once a week. And after a while things went back to normal, but with our schedules its hard to spend alot of time together...So things got in a rut, so to speak. Then the last 3 weeks, have been crazy, as to alot of reasons. So we basicaly decided to try and work on our sex life, and get back what we once had. Basically I understand the sexual need of a person, who craves it alot. I used to be like that. But with life and responsibility you have to limit it sometimes. And us living over an hour away is hurtful enough. Well basically we talked about the porn. And I really dont care about the porn. I have watched it with him this weekend, and watched it myself...Some of the made for TV porn is alot more interesting then the stuff on Prime Time TV LOL. I was just an emotional wreck for the past 2-3 weeks. So I involved everything instead of just the one issue. When I should have just been like ok, I am not enough for you sometimes....what in the world? So basically, we have "overcome" last weeks episode, and are looking forward to a "fun future" we have even bought toys, to help along the way, and we are both willing to try new things. Sorry if that is too graphic!!! I will change it if anyone finds it offensive! Thanks for your help everyone!

He has been wonderful...for the past two weeks! Thanks for asking... I am feeling alot better...I am still happy with the decision I made. Thanks again for your support!

Well the Dr who did the abortion did give me medication after the abortion. Then at the hospital they didnt do anything for the pain. I went to my regualr Dr on weds, and they said I just had preganacy tissue and it needed to comeout. They didnt give me any meds for pain, or anything. Then I went back to the Dr who did the termination, and he decided that I still had the tissue, he asked if I wanted to do the D&C, well they did it, and gave me more meds, and said come back....How hard was it for them to do that, my regualr drs. anyways? I doubt I will be going back to them.... Anyways I am doing fine, and just hoping these brusises from them drawing blood will heal quick, cause it hurts. Anyways Thanks again everyone for you support. Hope everyone is doing well!

Well I ended up in the Hospital last night due to extreme pain in my ovaries, and they basically said I had an infection......but yet they still didnt give me any meds, for pain or the infection...The people in the ER were jerks, so I left. I went to my regular DR today, and she said I still had some pregnancy tissue in my uterus, and she took some of it out...they sent me for an ultrasound and if I have anymore in there, I will have to have a D AND C...ouch I will find out everything on friday!

I mean normally its not a problem...men have needs ya know.... I am being insecure because he said, I am not enough for him sometimes....I dunno...emotions blah sometimes I dont like being a girl

Darling I didnt see it as going through his computer, he always downloads, movies, and If I am waiting at his house, I have free access to them ( like movie theater movie, and normally not pron) which he usually keeps on his desktop. I have not gone through his documents, or his other stuff. That is the only thing I will look at. I want him to have his privacy, but I guess I am being insecure, espeically when He said sometimes I am not enough for him! If it looks like a movie, that he downloaded, he usually has no problem with me clicking on it and watching it....

Oh and I dont think its so much him paying attention to porn, He made a statement the other day that He loves me but sometimes I am not enough....so it kinda hurt my feelings more, then he got what seemed defensive on it.... I dunno is there more to this than I am looking at or what? Am I over reacting?

Ok how do you ladies deal with you husband/boyfriend/fiance looking at porn? Does it bother you or what? I was kinda I guess you could say going through my boyfriends computer, He usually downloads movies, etc. Well he down loaded some porn, and I asked him about it. And He got annoyed? Is this because he is embarrassed, or privacy issue? I have never had a problem with me going in and looking for something to watch (a movie he downloads) and he got annoyed now? Why is this? How do you handle the porn issue?

Thanks again everyone!

Thank you! Again thanks to everyone for the supprt....it really helped....

Well I got back from the appt a little while ago...I do feel relief...and I am happy with the choice Everyone have a great weekend!