PowR

I think really you are better off finding out the details. Its hard and raises alot of questions but, despite what you might think, you're are closer to truth by knowing the details than not. I would say that the reason you now are far more uncertain about the whole thing is that, despite your questions being answered, you dont trust that the answers youv received are in fact true. Your trust in your partner has been destroyed and that affects every facet of your relationship. So, even though you and your wife are obviously willing to give your relationship another go and want to get past the affair by talking about it, deep down you feel the conversations ye are having arent completely honest. I think however this insecurity, while justfied, is probably unfounded. I would say your wife is very sorry, ashamed and just wants her relationship with you back. For that reason, you should believe her when she describes the affair, her motivation and reasons for cheating but also for calling it off. Ask her all the questions that are haunting you and find it in yourself to trust that her responses are honest and true. This of course wont really ease the pain, a cheating partner is very difficult to deal with. But all these feelings, the distrust and the antagonising over the affair will pass with time. It will probably take a long time but eventually, if your willing to fight for your wife, your relationship can go back on track. Dont punish her, dont make things worse than they have to be. Just talk about the affair, your relationship and what ye both want in order to attempt to restore the trust. If that doesnt work, Im afraid staying together will just prove too hard and it will break ye up. Good luck!!

Firstly, I think your ex has definitely blown everything out of proportion. I mean, looking at porn isnt that bad and I dont think its something she should be making you feel guilty about. There are a multitude of men out there who look at that stuff all the time and dont love their girlfriends any less. Its doesnt make you weird or disgusting in any way. The fact that you turned to it while grieving says to me that at that time it was the only way of comforting yourself, I dont know why but everyone deals with things differently. On the other hand, I could see why your girlfriend may be upset. I could look like you werent bothered by the breakup and merely continued on with self-gratification. Otherwise, she may not be entirely upset about the whole porn thing but it has simply sent her over the edge and epitomises everything about the situation shes upset about. What has happened here is complete miscommunication. Perhaps your both at a stage where ye cant sit down and have a civilised conversation but thats what ye need to do in order to set things straight. You need to tell her how you felt when you turned to the porn and how you feel about hurting her. She might understand and see that in fact you are as confused by your compulsion as she is. Your might also find out precisely why she is upset and work through it from there. Thats just what I think!!!You never know, maybe your relationship isnt beyond repair. Good luck!

To tell u the truth, I dont think your problem isnt necessarily contingent on you being a mature 22 yr old. In a way Id almost say it may have something to do with immaturity and a certain intolerance that often comes with age. However, I think the primary causative factor is basically that you just haven come accross the right person yet. Its as simple as that. Most people go through several partners all lacking in some way til they find someone they connect with. Once that special connection is made all these mere annoyances you mention just fade into the background, theyr ancillary to the many wonderful things you find in that person. Im sure you will find the one for you, just be patient. And dont be afraid to look in the most unexpected place or to the most unexpected person, you may be surprised!!

I understand where you guys are all coming from, but frankly i think its an extremely negative take on things. Sure the divorce rate is high and thats due to people jumping into things theyr not ready for or havent thought thru. But the thought that this should make people give up on marriage before theyv ever even given it a go is truly miserable! The chance of something not working out is possible in virtually everything we do in life-what u must do making any decision is weigh up all the possible consequences. If theres a good chance of marrying somebody who will make you happy for the rest of our life, youd be an idiot not to take that it even if the alternative consequence is bleek. Whats life about if its not about love??? If marriage becomes a thing of the past, a nation of lonely pensioners is likely to be the future.

Thats a good question!! We did speak about it but we didn think it would be a good idea. Being so young we thought it was important that we do this separately. Also we had made commitments to friends to travel a long time ago which really wouldnt make it possible .

It sounds like shes into you...but you never know...maybe shes still not sure! Maybe she needs you to convince her that you like her and that ye are compatible! You dont have to even ask her out, just try and find some time for the two of ye to spend alone together so ye can judge the chemistry between ye properly!

I am 21 years old and have been with my boyfriend for three years. We love each other very very much and everything is wonderful. The problem is that we are both going away for the year travelling, separately however. We hope to meet up briefly along the way but that is it. What we cant decide on though is whether to stay together or whether to break up. I want to stay together because Iv no interest in being with other men and Im afraid i wouldnt be able to take him back knowing hed been with lots of other women. He, on the other hand, thinks it might be better in the long term for our relationship if we broke up with a view to getting back together on our return. While this may make sense in view of the fact were so young it makes me feel like he doesnt love me as much as i thought, although deep down I know that isnt necessarily true. I dont know what to do. I dont want to hold him back but I dont want him to hurt me either. Another problem is that upon our return my boyfriend hopes to do a masters abroad as he cant do one at home. This isnt for definite but it potenially means spending two years apart. Im very confused, help?!?