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Queen_Midas

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Everything posted by Queen_Midas

  1. Ok seriously, Personality: Intelligent (someone who is well educated) BUT not someone who thinks he's smarter than me. Respect for women - I am a feminist and very independent, I need a guy who respects that and is not intimidated by it (like most guys are!). Caring and sensitive - I am an emotional girl and I suffer depression and anxiety, so I need someone who can understand that and is strong enough to help me deal with it. Looks: Tall - like 5ft10 or over is ideal. Fairly athletic. Big eyes. Just something about him that makes me like him - can';t put my finger on what it is - but i guess it's like an aura or a vibe. MOST OF ALL: Someone who likes me and thinks I am just wonderful.. hehe! But seriously, I don't want to feel insecure and on the lower power differential, I couldn't handle it! Queen midas.
  2. I can definitely relate to those of you who seem to think finding someone is impossible. I talk from the perspective of a 22 y.o. female who has never been asked out even once by someone serious. I would consider myself fairly attractive, I'm smart and I'm kinda.. but I just never get any interest... I am also averse to meeting someone in a bar/club..the few times I've tried it out - gone to a bar, I've found most of the guys there are sleazy and not the type I'd want anyway...where do the good guys go? I have also tried internet dating to no avail, again the only responses I get are from either old people (like way too old for me) ior just generally unsuitable people... I don't have that manty requirements so i don't think it's me being picky, its just difficult in this day and age to meet some like minded.. oh well will keep trying...like u guys say we are only young, plenty of time! QMxxx
  3. Hey guys, I know you're right... I wish I could just get over it, like I should have months back... No email and I doubt there will be. Why can't I just let go? And I am sure he didn;t send an email to the wrong addy, he's emailed me plenty of times before... But thanks for the optimism! QM
  4. No I meant have I acted childishly...not him!
  5. Annie, he is such a strange guy... He called me - said he was sorry, and said how about thurs/fri? I said thurs i had to work. he asked me if i was volunterring fri night, i saud yes, he said he'd email me.. he never did. when i saw him on fri night, he acted like nothing was wrong. He approached me even after I was cold with him, and then when we left he sorta lingered as if he was waiting for me to say something... Who knows? He confused me, and it's over anyway.. unless he does something real soon!
  6. The guy I have liked for ages, had to cancel a coffee date (we were going out as friends, he doesn't 100% know how i feel about him) - legitimate excuse for canceling, he said we should do it another day that week. Anyway we decided on friday (we volunteer together on fri nights).. he said he'd email me, but never did - when I got to the volunteer place, he acted like nothing had happened, was friendly and made an effort to talk to me... but I ignored him, avoided him and was deliberately short with him. When he left, he said "I'll email you." I must have looked unimpressed, because he stood there staring at me for a second, as if to say "what?" then kinda smiled and left... it was so weird... Any thoughts?
  7. I have had a crush on him for 8 months... I asked him if he wanted to go for coffee (as friends).. and today he emailed me and said he can't make it (has to help his dad) but can we make it thurs or friday? Is this a good that he suggested another time, or is cancelling on me just a sign he doesnt reallty like me... QM
  8. Hey I'm the same hun.. I never drink and my parents try and encourage sensible social drinking.. a glass of wine a day, that's supposed to be good for ya?! But I don;t like alcohol and never will. My parents think I'm a bit overly moral.. cos I don't swear either.. but it's ok.. each to their own... and they love me just the same. I'm sure ur parents don't mean any harm by it. Queen Midas
  9. Hey.. did she suggest another day to see the movie yet? I think it's a positive sign that she called you and talked about her day.. and that she explained that she didn't wanna set a date and then cancel.. that shows concern not uncertainty in my opinion.. And yes girls are socialised to play a little hard to get.. so maybe she's just doing the old trick of not being too available?! who knows? Hope everything goes well.. qm.xxx
  10. That's really weird.. Have u replied to him? QM
  11. It's not like I've played hard to get the whole time..it's a difficult situation to explain.. I'm more doing this regain some of the "power" (for want of a better word) that I lost before when I was always miss. nice, always there and it got me nowhere.. now if he stills wants a chance with me HE has to do the chasing.. if he does, great, if not then obviosuly it's not meant to be.. but I need to know he's willing to make an effort.. and i need him to realise that I am not some desperate girl who's waiting around for him to decide what he wants to do.. All very confusing i know! qm
  12. I hope she says yes too.. I would regard the "it's a good day to see a movie" and return call as interest... so we'll soon find out... but remember text messages are the worst way to ask someone out, u never know if they got em and u have no nonverbal cues when they answer..!! I made that mistake before!! Good luck! qm.xxx
  13. Hey, I'm sure what I have to say has been said in the previous 4 pages of replies.. but anyway!! 1) Liking someone who likes you is human nature ( someone else did say that already).. but if u study attraction in Social Psychology you'll learn it's natural and happens all the time!! 2) I am in the same situation.. The whole reason I fell so hard for my current crush is because I thought he might like me.. and yes he's gorgeous too..lol! QM
  14. Ok so now I'm TRYING to play hard to get, same guy as before, just now he knows I like him, it's up to him right?.. So yesterday we had our course, the other girl (who we're both friends with) asked if we'd like to go for a quick drink (we tend to do this after the course sometimes).. and "he" was standing next to her.. and I said, "Yeah... are you guys going?..." and looked at them both.. and then "actually no I'd better not.. i'm meeting my best friend..see you next week thought." So his reaction was a bit weird. Like a very short "ok. bye.".. like he was almost annoyed, maybe surprised is more the case? A few minutes later, he turns back to me and says, "do yuo need a lift to the station?" it was late at night and he's quite chivalrous, he always walks me when i have no one else to walk with.. but this time there's a whole grp of us.. and they'd already offered to drop me at the station.. so I said, no it's ok.. Should i take these as positive reactions to my playing hard to get? A) He shows concern, b) he's a bit surprised when I do say no.. Also he asked me A LOT of questions last night.. about my uni stuff that's stressing me out, he always asks me about things that i am stressing about, and tries to kinda reassure me.. Am I reading too much into it AGAIN? QM
  15. I think the smiling a lot, playing with hair, asking you how you're feeling.. etc.. Also if she's shy she won't look at you too much, she'll act VERY nervously around you. Good luck, qm
  16. When a shy girl talks, would you make special care to listen because, a) you like her, b) she never talks, and you're being nice listening when she does c) could be either a) or b)? The guy I like always leans in and listens intently when I have something to say in a group, it makes me feel special, and I love it.. but is he just being a nice guy, or could there be more to it? QM
  17. Hollywood, Reading your post reminds me very much of how I feel sometimes. I also feel like my friends are not always exactly the best friends I could have, like they don't care enough.. and also wish I had someone to share my life with. I have a very close family, and I'm wondering whether the reason I never feel like I get enough from friends is because I am used to really close, emotional relationships from my family. Are you close with family? Do you have high expectations? Also how old are you? I know I only got "real" friends and really good relationships when I grew up a little and that was only in the last few years (I'm 22).. Anyway if you want someone to talk to feel free to send me a im. QM
  18. I can't really decide which i prefer anymore.. I am generally more attracted to the sensitive, shy, vulnerbale guy.. but the thing with that is that "he" never approaches me.. so I'm not considering whether it might be better to go for someone more outgoing \and arrogant, someone who'll actually make an effort? Still I think at the end of the day, I will still be a little more attracted to the sensitive shy type.. QM.
  19. Hey hun, I can relate to your post.. I too feel like I'm never going to find the right person. You gotta stay strong and remember that there is someone out there for you, someone who will love you for who you are, it just takes time to find them, that's all. Good luck and I hope ur special someone comes VERY soon, take care, Love QM xxx
  20. Hey hun, I think a note is too intense.. you should ask him CASUALLY if he wants to hang out sometime (do not say because we dont get to talk a lot or anything..it's too intense).. but I would leave it a little longer anyway, get to know him better, talk to him in class, ask him some questions about his life.. but I am notoriously slow with these things.. Patience does win out though.. Let us know how it goes, qm.
  21. She sounds like me. If this is the case, then she is shy and you need to make a BIT more effort with her and yes just ask her casually out.. not like a date, but just 2 friends getting to know each other.. However be aware that the "oh I didn't notice" and lack of effort could also be signs that she isn't really interested.. I could reason both way.. but the mere fact she does exactly what I do suggests to me she is interested. Good luck, let us know how it goes, Qm.
  22. To be honest Annie if he never liked me before then I am not going to try and make him like me now.. I will not be interested if he suddenly comes around. I'm only interested if he has liked me all along and circumstances have stopped him from making a move.. sure there's only a very remote possiblity that is the case (0.000001%).. but I feel like before the incident in his life (with the special person dying) he did like me, just a vibe I got, but he made a real effort to be around me.. So anyway that's inconsequential now.. if he comes to like me AGAIN all is ok, but otherwise I don't care.. but to be honest I need to stop caring right now, because it's detrimental to my health and life in general.. So no more talk of this from me.. Thanks for your support and help everyone... but I am going try and resist the temptation to talk this through anymore.. QM
  23. Ok this guy I like and I had an issue.. I asked him for a drink, he didn;'t reply, I got annoyed then when he responded pretended like i was joking and it was no big deal.. anyway we're not great friends or anything from before that, we're just friends because we do a weekly course together.. So I saw him after this whole incident and everything is back to normal-ish..we just have small talk etc.. I also found out someone special to him died recently which explains him not really responding to me before (of course there is also the fact that he probably doesn;t LIKE me in that way..) When we talk he does not look me in the eyes, but he does look other random ppl in the eyes.. Is this cos he's embarrassed about what happeneD? But even before the incident he didn't maintain eye contact.. he's shy and I thought him not looking at me might have been a sign he liked me.. He also thanked me for my kind friendship (we had to do an activity where we wrote a positive thing about each person in our group).. Is this encouragement or discouragement.. one friend of mine thinks this is his way of saying, friendship is all it can be? Guys, what do you think? Why would u say that a girl? Really if i think about it I haven't been that great a friend to him anyway, so i can't really undestand him saying that to me. Maybe jhe's just being kind himself? Anyway thanks peeps! QM.
  24. Thanks again for your responses.. I am probably expecting too much of him anyway, it's not like we're really involved at all.. we're basically just acquaintances who do a course together and sometimes go out in a group.. in my mind it's much more, but that;s only in MY mind, not his.. Thanks though, this helps for future reference.. I've realised there are a lot of guys and people in general who are hard to read and it helps to know the motivations behind it. Ciao, QM,
  25. Yeah I think he is just afraid of looking weak.. cos he can be quite defensive when you call him on things he's being irrational about.. also I have pushed him too much before this whole incident... I pushed him when I thought he liked me and he did clam up and didn't contact me for months until we had to see each other again at an evnt we were going to.. I'm just going to continue asking him how he is feeling, be nice and approachable (something my shyness sometimes stops me from being).. and we'll see how it goes. Thanks for the advice guys.. and pls any more is much appreciated! QM.
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