Queen_Midas

that guys flirting tips suggest the guy play it cool and act like he doesn't care that much? Play hard to get I guess? Thanks, QM.

hiya! I would prefer the second option.. asking her out for lunch or something and take it from there. Besides you want a relationship that builds from a friendship I think.. and also during the lunch or whatever you can make it a bit more obvious that it's a date. I don't really think I'd like the - do you have a boyfriend question..it's a bit too direct. Hope that helps.. QM.

Hey bobster, Thanks for your reply.. but I don't think I'm gonna ask him out or even see him again in the near future.. to be honest I gave him enough chances..he's not THAT shy, it's really up to him, and I figure it's his loss..I'm cleansing myself of this unhelpful crush and moving on.hopefully prince charming is just around the corner, but if not I'm gonna be happy being independent and single!! I'm feeling a lot better for making this decision and moving on!! Talk to you later and thanks for the advice, it was helpful and kind! QM.

Hmm..well he replied, just a normal everyday email.. I think it's time to give up, I just can't take the waiting anymore..nothing ever happens and I'm sick of it.. he really must not be interested. Thanks for the advice tho guys, QM.

Ok so I've told you about my crush..well on fri nite i saw him at the volunteer thing, and he told me he'd been out (on a bike ride) with the other older woman who volunteers with us (also likes him i think).. I was annoyed and kinda gave up hope on this whole thing.. so I was a bit stand off-ish..but not really much more than my usual shy self.. so i decided to give it one last shot, and i emailed him yesterday (sat) and this is what i said.. please gimme input (esp. the guys out there) as to how you might read this: (this is just a summary of the email). I said I was sorry for being unsociable on fri nite, i was tired. (eventhough i wasn;'t really that unsociable..i just wanted him to think that i'd rather be more social with him and stuff) I asked a few questions about his volunteer work. I told him he shouldn't feel compelled to volunteer all the time, and said that i think it's admirable that he does so much already considering there is not benefit to his career or study (unlike me, this is work experience for me).. i said keep in touch. Would you read that as a girl who might just be interested? or as just a normal plain acquaintance..?? keep in mind i sent this email the day after we last saw each other. Thanks in advance for advice!! QM.

Thanks guys, I agree Estella - you can't just turn your feelings off.. I have tried multiple times..but if I'm honest with myself I'm enjoying it all too, cos it's something interesting to brighten up my day.. Anyways thanks for the support guys!! Talk to you later, QM

Hi guys, I've written about my crush dilemma, but now I'm wondering whether I'm taking it too far..my friends are sick of me talking about it etc.. Am I obsessed? I mean I go on fri nites to volunteer just to see him..and I think about it all tjhe time.. I'm not usually a boy crazy type person, this is the first time i've ever acted like this (i'm 21).. Want your opinions on whether I should grow up and try and get on with other things as well or is it healthy to be this consumed by a crush?? Thanks, Qm.

Thanks Alabama.. I needed that reassurance cos I was beginning to give up.. I emailed him and this time he replied!! yay! But only a brief casual reply..nothing huge but a step in the right direction? And he apologised again for not showing up on fri nite..and said he'd definitely be there this week.. So does this guy volunteer every friday nite cos he;'s a saint or cos he likes me? I wish I knew.. Also this fri i told my mum i'd go to the movies, but I wanna go volunteer..but i bailed on mum last week to go see him.. I feel guilty.. I'm thinking of just telling mum about him and then i guess she'll understand... I'm not a boy crazy gal, it's not like I do this allthe time, this is the first time I've had such a HUGE crush on someone. Anyways thanks for the advice..pls keep replying peeps!! Thanks, QM. xxx

Hi Rachel, I know what you mean about the not being a "chase" anymore..and I've heard similar things, but if this guy is really interested, he'll see past that, it's not as if you're throwing yourself at him, he needs to know you at least like him partially before he'll ask you out at all anyway.. so don;'t stress - I'm sure he's not put off by the fact that you like him. I think that the "don't worry" thing did not show him ur not interested.. it was just a bit strange, but he probably interpreted it as u being shy... I think I would if that happened to me.. And finally they say if a guy's friends show a lot of interest in you, it's probably because the guy has been talking about you..so i think the introduction was a good sign this guy likes you.. Good luck, hope it all works out for ya! QM

Hey, I don't think you've screwed it up at all. It's best to be friends first.. that's the way lasting relatonships can develop. I agree with the others, ask her to the concert, you've got nothing to lose, and with time just employ a few of the flirting behaviours - eye contact etc.. Good luck, QM

I don't think there's one sure fire way to tell if someone likes you (UNFORTUNATELY!!! )... remember shy girls will react differently. If I like a guy I can be so shy that I completely ignore them, be a real ice queen and then they think I can't stand them.. but i think smiling is a giveaway, if I do nothing else I'll generally smile! QM.

Ok so the subject is a common one here..but everyone has a different story and I'm beginning to wonder if mine is even a story or just a daydream..hehe! Ok there's this guy I met through this course/volunteer work I'm doing.. and I guess I got the vibe (discussed in one of these forums) you get when you get just a feeling someone likes you..and now I seem to b interpreting everything he does in line with that vibe, so pls correct me if i'nm being irrational... First thing, we meet every tuesday nite for training course and he sits with us (me and a friend) and chats, asks questions, but out of my shyness I completely snobbed him, didn't really talk to him, turned my chair the other way.. ice queen!! Anyway we went for drinks one week (satursday training) and when we were in the pub i overheard him talking to my friend casually about me - nothing personal, just asking her why I wasn't at college at the moment etc..and then he told me about the dog parks around his neighbourhood (after I had mentioned that I loved dogs earlier)..anyway those are just little things, right? Anyway now we don't do training anymore, but we volunteer when we can and on fri nites there is a volunteer thing..so I asked him if he was going, he said I have a work function, but I'm trying to get out of it..and he did.. and every time I say I'M going he comes too.. but then we talk and nothing happens, it's just a casual acquantaince type conversation..and he never looks at me, no eye contant - which I figure could only mean one of 2 things - a) he doesn't like me at all (but why would he come every week if he hated me? wouldn't he avoid me?) or b) he is shy around me? Also he does some really chivalrous things for me, like helping me lift things (which i never let him do..) and he walks me to the station eventhough it's a bit out of his way. But then on the downside, he doesn't reply to my emails eventhough I KNOW he gets them.. Last night he didn't turn up to volunteering, so I text messaged him and he apologised (said he had a work function) I just replied telling him about the nite and he replied again apologising! Oh and also, he always tells me he doesn't have plans for the weekend, he's always free, not going anywhere and yet he is a really attractive, social guy, not the type to sit at home alone! What do you think? Am I reading too much into it?? Thanks for the advice, Qm

Hi Rachel, I can totally relate to this.. Firstly I think he's probably interested and just a bit confused by the whole "don't worry about it" thing you said.. he doesn't necessarily have to be a shy person to be a little cautious about asking you out.. I think he might just be worried you'll say no? How obvious was your body language that you liked him? It was probably a bit subtle.. Ok now this is my situation.. i think you'll see the similarities.. I met this guy on this course I was doing, we talked briefly and he's done a few things which have me wondering.. mainly it's just a feeling i get that he "might" like me..but also he tends to go to volunteer nights when I go, and he seems a bit shy around me, like he doesn't look at me when we're talking (and it's not cos he doesn't like me..cos otherwise he would try to avoid me, which he doesn't)..anyway i sent him and email and he NEVER replied..but then he seems to make time to be the same places as me..it's totally confusing.. I don't show him I like him very obviously and my friends think the main reason he prolly doesn't make a move is cos he's scared i'll say no..cos whenever he offers me help with something, or a coffee (he makes coffee when we're volunteering) I always say no! He has also had previous gfs and he doesn't seem REALLY shy or outgoing.. So anyway enough of my babble.. My advice is to just go talk to him in a friendly manner, you don;'t have to go and ask him out but you should be as approachable as possible and hopefully he'll ask you out very soon.. and you could always say hi on icq?? There's nothing to lose! Good luck! QM

Hi guys, thanks for the help so far...ok another problem..I feel soooooo guilty.. my mum just asked me to go to movies on fri nite..and she's had a rough week, but I wanna go volunteer so I can see this guy..and now I feel so bad for letting her down..but I only get to see him once a week at most..and i've been looking 4ward to it for the whole week..oh!!!! Am i being selfish? Also pls keep the posts coming re the other problem!! Thanks, QM

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Hi, Thanks for the reply. It's funny u should say he sounds like he has no confidence because really he has every reason to b confident. He is objectively very very good looking and many people have said that (and he knows they say it to his face), he's smart and he's a nice guy, everyone talks with him all the time. The other thing is that he has had past girlfriends, he mentions it in passing... The whole social life thing is not something he worries about, he just always says he has no plans for the weekend.. which I find weird cos most ppl our age do have plans (not me..but then I'm a bit of a geek!! lol and he is soooo not geeky!). The email thing - he definitely received them (it was only a few)..and he knows how to swend emails cos he sends me fwds every now and then.. When we're talking I have my head down a lot..lol..and he kinds looks away.. it's weird.. if I knew he was definitely shy like me, then I'd understand but he's not obviously shy either.. I am totally confused! Thanks again for your reply.. QM.

Hey, I am probably not the best person for advice, but I have recently managed to hold a semi normal conversation with my crush..basically i took the approach of being myself, not trying to impress him..and it worked, i probably babble a bit, but whocares, at the end of the day u want him to fall in love with you.. so try and be natural. hope that helps, QM

Hi guys, I'm new here and new to the whole relationships/dating arena. Eventhough I am 21 I have never been in a relationship, never even dated a single guy.. I have been looking for a few months, and suddenly out of the blue I meet this guy I REALLY like.. I'm totally smitten. I don't see him regularly, we volunteer at the same place. When we first met he was friendly, but he always remains a bit detached. Of course being the shy girl I am I have reacted pretty badly to my crush..I ignore him sometimes, when we talk it's stunted and difficultm, I NEVER look at him nd I NEVER accept any help from him.. But anyway putting aside my shyness here's what I'm wondering about.. He is not REALLY shy as a person, he seems pretty social and gets along with the others but he never looks at me properly when we're alone, we walk home together and he talks to me, but i truied to get eye contact and it's impossible, he doesn't look at me. Another thing, this week when I was with him, he constantly tried to help me do things..being really chivalrous?! He also always tells me he has no plans and no social life..and he always volunteers on the same nights i do. On the other hand he never replies to my emails eventhough I know he gets them. I am totally cnfused, does he like me? Am I reading too much into things? Is it possible for a guy to just b shy around the guirl he likes? Thanks, Queen Midas